I’m Leaving. I’m sorry.
This was a long time coming, and I feel I owe you all an explanation.
As much as I’ve tried to bring back any of my UnderTale muses, I just can’t. I can’t because whenever I log into any of their accounts I just feel sick, depressed, and ultimately uninspired. I hate to say this, I really do, because at first this community felt like one I could be safe in. It felt cozy. It felt like a disorganized, loving family. But I don’t feel that anymore. I don’t feel safe, nor do I feel welcome, and I can’t say for sure if that’s just my own paranoia acting up or not. And I want to explain why I feel this way. I don’t want to sit here and bite my tongue and just not feel allowed to explain my side of a story. I won’t go into detail, not publicly, but not long ago I was feeling more and more uncomfortable on my dash and just in general due to issues I was having with someone, and so I had to cut them out of my life for my own mental stability. If you want the reasoning, ask or something I suppose. Anyway, I hadn’t felt right with them in awhile out of fear that something exactly like this would happen, and I guess I was right there. But I wanted to feel safe again, and comfortable, so after a lot of working myself up to it I told them. They were upset, understandably, but they took it more public than I would have liked and treated me like a bad person for wanting my own comfort, and ever since I’ve been fucking terrified that people I look up to or care about have been turned against me. I’ve had only two people I could confide in, whereas from what I am aware, I’ve been slandered, my motives twisted, called a liar, and other various things. Talked about to people who I cared about, who I’m now scared to even say hello to. I’ve been trying to move past it, I really have, but I can’t help but feel unsafe and saddened when I look at my blogs. I love my muses, I really do. I love Sector and Strobe. I love my old, broken Error. I love Rex and Obsius, who I haven’t even written in ages, and I’ve wanted to bring back. I don’t know. I just can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to be in a fandom when I’m paranoid almost constantly that someone I want to talk to will be told or already has been told that I’m a bad person for simply wanting to be safe. I might be overreacting. I might be worried about shit that isn’t even happening, but either way, I don’t see myself being here anymore, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever feel comfortable enough to return. If you want to keep in touch, message me or something, but please understand as well that I haven’t been good at communicating lately. Mostly due to tiredness and stress. Real life hasn’t pulled any punches, and that hasn’t helped with how I feel either Apologies, for everything. I just needed to explain this. I just needed closure that I haven’t had in over a month. Either way, bye everyone. I’ll get out of your hair now.














