delusions of grotesquerie

[[OC RP Blog for Beyond Infinite]]

[destinedtoiram]

@ligiaexoticae​

And how do you want me to do that?  Just turn off?

We really didn’t get a lecture on that in my Ranger classes.

[ligiaexoticae]

Hmph. That's n-not my problem to f-figure out. You do it- s-stop trying to push all your work off o-on me!

[ligiaexoticae]

Everyone thinks riding in helicopters is s-so fun.

Y-you won't think it's fun when you are the h-helicopter.

[ligiaexoticae]

N-not here because I w-want to be but b-because I'm a-a-angry!

Idiot, awful writers thinking they can j-just tell a compelling horror story in t-t-two sentences!

They don't understand a-anything about true terror...

[ligiaexoticae]

People o-only laugh like that when they’re u-u-up to something! 

[ligiaexoticae]

I c-c-can’t stand hearing idiots l-laughing and having fun! Go somewhere e-else! 

[ligiaexoticae]

T-the sooner everyone learns that I’m nothing more than a walking d-d-disappointment, the better! 

[ligiaexoticae]

deusexcervidae‌:

It’s pretty easy, I find. How can you live, apparently engulfed in constant pessimism, self-loathing, and paranoia? Would you like to get out more?

You might just have to accept that you did something good, here!

It’s exactly what I asked: would you like a gift?

I can because I’ve a-always had to. I get out enough! I go to school and I don’t even l-live with my parents anymore! 

NRGHHhh. W-whatever, to both. If you want to send something, then go ahead! But don’t expect any thanks! 

[amvs]

[ligiaexoticae]

deusexcervidae‌:

Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t! I haven’t started experimenting yet, so I don’t know! Discovery is a wonderful and exciting thing. Never challenging your limits is a sure way to never learn they weren’t truly limits to begin with. Besides, if I wanted to “stick to the easy, boring methods” I would’ve gone and done it already.

Don’t just give out good ideas, then!

Would you like a gift?

T-that saccharine zest for life makes me s-s-sick! How can you people live this way!?

Nrgh! I wasn’t t-trying to! 

What is this, a trick question? I’m not looking for a handout, if that’s what y-you’re thinking. 

[ligiaexoticae]

deusexcervidae‌:

I’ll worry about the “what” when I figure out the “how”. I don’t yet see the point of having a destination without knowing if there’s a road to travel in the first place! There are at least as many dead, lifeless universes as there are life-filled ones, likely more.

No, there’s more than one god - five living currently - but I might actually need more Vizcais for this, now that I think about it, so I appreciate that idea.

Oh? Why is that?

If you’re so g-great then it can’t be that hard, now can it!? Maybe you should s-stick to the easy, boring methods before you try something t-too advanced for your skills. Heh.

D-d-don’t just get helpful ideas from my words! 

Why? B-because, someone like me is only given things so they can be taken away l-later. If I had some a-awe inspiring power, there’s no way I’d be allowed to do anything with it! 

[ligiaexoticae]

Loosen up, relax, enjoy yourself for once

Of course, why did I n-never think of that? S-shut up!

It’s easy to t-t-tell someone what to do when you don’t know the first thing about their problems! 

[destinedtoiram-deactivated20200]

>Open up

[ligiaexoticae]

destinedtoiram‌:

Penelope really looked like she was gonna explode at any moment. You sort’ve looked anxiously out of your seat, where were these drinks? Its not like you controlled when a bond happened! 

“Its not up to me!” You declared defensively. Still, you didn’t mind learning about her. She probably needed someone to listen. At the very least she was consigning herself to her fate. Wow, that’s kinda sad to think.. But still, you needed to work together! 

“But hey! Just know there’s still a lot we don’t know about one another. That’s comforting right?” You tilted your head, straightening out your posture. You decided to smile to reassure her, which was already feeling like a bad option on the flowchart. Too late now!

Though fate was on your side! For once! The server had returned with your drinks. Disciplined dead silence emanated from his being but he handed each beverage to its appropriate owner. Didn’t even have to ask or second-guess! Impressive! 

“Thank you!”

The latte placed in front of you was absolutely gorgeous. Your barista must’ve had a steady hand for a heart as pretty as that in the foam! Your mug was hefty too, per usual, they were super generous. Whipping out your phone, you giggled, taking a photo of the perfect latte before you inevitably disturbed the art that it was. Slipping it back into your inventory promptly.

You kept a close eye on Penelope’s reaction to her own drink. For even an inkling of joy. Though to disguise this, you cautiously lifted the blue porcelain mug to your lips. With it so close to your nose, you were practically salivating at the fruity smell! Though to disguise your spying on the other girl, you tooted several breaths of air onto the delightful drink, disarming it of its heat… Hopefully.

“...” 

The glower you gave Maya could have oozed across the table, engulfing her in the foulness of your mood. But in spite of yourself, there was some relief to be had at her words; the darkest parts of your psyche were still safe and sound, never to be revealed to the likes of her. You didn’t especially care to know about the deeper aspects of her life, either!

Your cold glare finally broke when the server reappeared, placing your respective drinks upon the table. You stared down to examine the drink, your writer’s mind churning to life with all manner of descriptors for it. 

The mug your drink came in barely qualified as that, the size and heft more akin to a bowl. There was a spindly handle that you’d already decided not to rely on, as your long fingers wrapped around the circumference of the vessel in a tentative grip. The heat from within it spread into your fingertips as wisps of steam licked at the lenses of your glasses. The drink itself was murky, an oily sheen draped across its surface. The presentation as a whole was far more soup-like than a beverage, but it didn’t put you off.

It was a good distraction from Maya’s giggling girlishness that played out across from you. She was the picture of an archetypal schoolgirl, taking false mementos of meaningless things and events that wouldn’t come to mind ever again. It was a disgusting optimism for life that you didn’t envy. 

For all your lapsing into prose you had managed to forget that you didn’t want a drink to begin with. So when you brought it to your lips and took your first taste, there was a flash of genuine reaction that played out subtly across your features. The drink was salty and rich, and left an almost greasy coating where it passed over your tongue. It was much more substantial in taste and in presence than any tea you’d ever gotten to taste in your life; you didn’t hate it. 

Further in the drinks favor was the fact that you didn’t have to speak to Maya so long as you were busying yourself with it, though it wouldn’t last forever. 

[ligiaexoticae]

You ought to loosen up some time, it'd probably be a good experience for you

W-what do you mean “loosen up”?! If this is the s-same person as before, I don’t think I like your d-definition of it! 

Or maybe this is s-someone from school, meddling in my business like... like always! 

Some people don’t have the luxury of “l-losening up”, and I don’t plan on changing that any time s-s-soon! 

[ligiaexoticae]

Every f-faceless spectator on this site likes to think they’re so clever, making shitty j-judgement calls that I’m some b-b-blushing flirt! 

If you met me in person you’d know how r-repulsive I really am! 

[ligiaexoticae]

deusexcervidae‌:

Anything, nothing specific. I just want to know that I can. Growth is ever a march onward!

Yes. Generally speaking, we have an accord among ourselves to not change things willy-nilly, but no single one of us could stop the other if they decided to break the rule. There’s something of an unspoken understanding that if something is changed or broken, we restore it when we’re done. So far, shockingly, everyone has abided by that at least.

Would it? To use it at all?

So you d-don’t want it to be random, but you don’t have anything in mind e-either? Annoying.

W-who is ‘ourselves’?! Are you some kind of d-delusional god, is this power all in your head? Nrghgh-- and I w-wasted my time on all these hypothetical creation scenarios! 

Yes, it would! S-someone like me... heheh, there’s no way anyone would tolerate that for long. 

[ligiaexoticae]

Jeez, the way you keep bringing up genitals makes me think you WANT to get it on with the alien god.

G-grow up, why don’t you!? I-if you want to talk about creating life, r-reproduction is the obvious thing to bring up! I didn’t say anything about helping with that stupid p-pet project myself! 

[ligiaexoticae]

deusexcervidae‌:

Only if I want it to develop randomly. If the right variables are controlled in the right way, I can theoretically create anything I wish by simply generating the environment in which a particular result must arise. An vast, complex experiment! It’s not too different from spellcraft, except I’m not using magic.

I don’t know about that. I’ve read your work, some of it at least, and I like it. It’s not that bad. My point is, those changes get your product closer to what you want to convey in your writing. The process per se is not a bad thing, regardless of whether or not you think highly of the result.

C-complex is right. Even to make a-an insect you’d need to meet all kinds of prerequisites for some wriggling piece of matter to e-evolve that far. Nrgh! I don’t even like s-science this much! What is it you even want to m-make with this method?

Can you seriously compare editing a book to changing a world that doesn’t just live in s-someone’s head? And don’t think I’m being m-m-morally righteous! I don’t give two shits about some world I have nothing to d-do with! Much less this one! But if someone like me had your p-power, it’d definitely be an a-affront for me to use it...