The Destiel bits of 12x09
This episode wasn’t bad, Destiel wise. Warning for gif heavy post ahead.
First of all, Cas’s pining is so heart wrenching. He doesn’t react to Mary’s frankly absurd chewing out, though he has all the right to just not accept her accusations. It’s everything he’s been telling himself anyway.
Mary expression when he says just how many hours Dean and Sam have been missing is sight to behold, to be honest. I think that’s where she realized just how much Cas cares.
Getting to where Dean and Sam escape though, Dean’s instinctive reaction is to call Cas, before anything else. He’s calling for help, of course he’ll call Cas, you say. (gifs from @novaks)
Except Cas doesn’t pick up. Now they’re in enemy territory, time is running out and Cas is not answering. The sane, logical thing to do would be to call someone else- Mary, Jody, ANYONE. But he keeps trying to call Cas, repeatedly. Why? Because he’s worried for Cas. Yes, they could use some help, but that’s not it. Dean knows how out of his mind Cas might be and he’s terrified that Cas is not okay, that he’s taken some extreme risks in trying to find them. Look at how relieved he is when Cas answers-
And just like Dean estimates, Cas sounds so wrecked, his voice squeaky, he’s just so disbelieving it’s really Dean.
And Dean knows just how to deal with a worried sick Cas. He doesn’t reel off instructions at first, he takes the time to reassure Cas that he’s fine.
Just the casual ‘Hey, Buddy’, but it has a depth of meaning behind it. It says that Dean’s physically fine for now. Then, and only then does he give instructions- and they may seem brusque, but to someone who’s spent six weeks thinking that their husband best friend is dead, the best thing for Cas is to just calm down and breathe and have a plan of rescue. And Dean provides it.
Next up, that hug. (gif from @subcas)
This is a small thing, but notice how Dean’s expression crumples minutely before he blinks back what look like tears. It’s the same expression he has in Purgatory-
That little expression conveys so much- relief that Cas is fine, hurt at the sight of Cas’s obvious pain, grief at the thought he’s about to cause Cas more pain. It’s gone instantly, but you can see the effort he makes into schooling his features before he lets Cas go and looks at him.
Then again, in the backseat of the car.
Sam’s ‘We need to talk about this’ and ‘You didn’t tell him?’ makes sense now. Sam knows Dean’s going to sacrifice himself, he knows that’s why Dean was so desperate to see Cas ASAP, that’s why Dean wants to sit in the backseat of the car.
Dean knows what’s going to happen soon. He knows he’s going to die (again) and now there’s no going back and that Cas is going to have to watch this happen (again) That little look between them, Dean looking so regretful and shattered, Cas clearly baffled but understanding instantly that something’s not right.. The non verbal communication here is amazing. (gifs from @yourfavoritedirector)
And finally, the ending. Dean’s pained “Cas, what have you done?” is because he knows this is not the end of it, because they’ll pay the price for this, because Cas will probably pay the price for this.
Don’t tell me that Cas wasn’t looking straight at Dean when he says that. And Dean knows. Knows that Cas doesn’t care about the consequences.
It’s just.. the love in this episode between these two was breathtaking. They don’t need big words or gestures. It’s all in the unspoken communication, the stolen glances, the utter devotion they have for each other. What love can be greater than this?
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