“This is the maggid (story telling) section from last night’s seder. Scene 1: Business meeting Narrator 1: (as if leading a meditation) We invite you to close your eyes and imagine you are in Egypt. Imagine you can hear the palm trees swaying, and feel the sun shining down on you. Imagine the sand between your toes, and the cool breeze blowing over from the river Nile. (Volunteers will quickly put up ‘welcome to Egypt’ posters, and pictures of sandy beaches and palm trees etc.) Please open your eyes. (A boardroom meeting with business people Pyramid enterprises LTD, Papyrus partnership and the Ancient Egyptian state dressed up as bankers) Pharaoh: Hello and welcome. As you know we recently decided to outsource our Pyramid building here in Ancient Egypt. A lot of private companies applied, but I’m glad to say that we have awarded the contract to Pyramid enterprises and Papyrus partnership as they were able to get the job done at the lowest price…. CEO of Pyramid enterprises: Hello, I’m the CEO of Pyramid enterprises. Thank you Pharaoh for agreeing to meet with us on behalf of the State of Ancient Egypt. We’re here to discuss how the State of Ancient Egypt could help us become more profitable. CEO of Papyrus partnership: Yes, as the CEO of Papyrus Partnership, I am also interested in getting more out of our workers in the interests of profit. In fact we at Papyrus have been working with Pyramid enterprises to prepare some proposals for you. (Unveils a papyrus scroll with the proposals) First of all we would like to reduce the pay for the workers. Pharaoh: (Noting this down in notebook) Okay, how much should we pay them? CEO papyrus: Well we did some calculations, and we realised that if we want the economy to grow, then the rate of £nothing an hour would be the best. It will help our profits, which will boost the economy of Ancient Egypt which will eventually……. probably…… possibly…………… perhaps……….. help the Israelite workers in some way. CEO pyramid: Then we would like to take away holiday pay, maternity pay and sick leave. Pharaoh: Okay… how are you going to do that? We do have some laws here in Ancient Egypt. CEO Pyramid: Well here’s the clever thing. If we classify these workers as self-employed then those laws don’t apply to us - we don’t even need to give them sick leave! Pharaoh: Okay, well if you think so, then I guess we can do that. But what if they start rebelling? CEO Papyrus: We’ve thought through as well. If they do start protesting, then it would be great if you could order the Israelite midwives to kill all of the male babies of the Israelites and also get the police to shut down any protests and arrest any mischievous Israelites. Pharaoh: Okay! I’m happy to do anything to boost the economy! CEOs (together): Great thanks pharaoh mate. Bye bye. Scene 2: Oppressing Israelites Pharaoh: (Turn to Israelites) Okay then did you hear that? You need to work twice as hard, and we’re going to give you an NHS pay rise so you’ll now be paid nothing an hour! Also, as a country of Ancient Egypt, we can’t afford to give you holidays and sick leave any more. What are you going to do about it????! Narrator: And hence forth the Israelites suffered under harsh new rules implemented by Pharaoh. Israelite no 1: Oh no. This is not fair! Pharaoh is oppressing us and taking away our rights. We deserve fair pay and safe working conditions. We deserve better than this. What should we do?! Israelite no 2: There must be a way to beat Pharaoh and the State of Ancient Egypt. Let’s all join the Popular front of Ancient Israel and work out a strategy to overthrow the State and liberate ourselves Israeli no 1: It’s actually the Ancient Israelites People’s front. Task – in your tables please come up with a strategy to overthrow Pharaoh and liberate the workers of Ancient Egypt. We would particularly like you to come up with a series of 10 escalating actions. Extra points for hashtags and campaign slogans! And CHANTS! (no supernatural activity allowed) Suggestion 1–private email, 2-op-ed, 3-open letter/petition, 4 – any kind of protest on a weekend, 5-action short of a strike, 6-work to rule, 7- defined length strike, 8-indefinite general strike, 9-riot, 10-occupation of the state. Fantastic, now we have our campaign strategy let’s start. Let’s learn this chant. ——————————————————— Scene 3: Moses to the rescue Moses: (walking around like a stuck-up boarding school kid) Sholem Yidn, for those who are new here, I’m Moses. I was brought up by Pharaoh’s daughter, as an Egyptian prince, but technically I’m Jewish. And I’m here to save the Jews! Israelite no 1 and 2: Err thanks Moses, but we’ve actually already unionized and we’ve got a pretty sound campaign strategy. Look at what we’re going to do…. (talk Moses through the 10 steps to our plan) Moses: Ummm. These are some really great ideas, but I’ve actually just finished a citizens UK training so I have some different ideas. I don’t think we need to be so militant. If we just ask pharoah nicely then I’m sure he’ll say yes. Let me just go and chat to him privately. EVERYBODY EMBRACE YOUR INNER HIPPY! (Lead song : Od yavo shalom aleinu in haggadah) (Moses goes to Pharaoh) Moses: Hey Pharaoh, I was wondering if you’d let my people go? Pharaoh: (Sarcastically) Ummm let me think about that… NO! Moses: Oh pleaseeeeee Pharaoh: (like margaret thatcher…) No, No, No Moses: (singing) When Israel was in Egypt’s land, Let My people go! Oppressed so hard they could not stand, Let My people go! Refrain: Go down, Moses, Way down in Egypt’s land; Tell old Pharaoh To let My people go! Pharaoh: Please be quiet and go away Moses. That’s a shit song, and even if it was good I still wouldn’t let “your” people go. Moses: Look Pharaoh, mate. If you don’t let me people go, I’m gonna phone God and She’s gonna redeem us with an outstretched hand. TAKE THAT. Pharaoh: I literally don’t care. I haven’t seen God for ages. I don’t think She even hangs around here anymore so good luck with that. (Pharaoh leaves) Moses: (Gets out phone to ring God. It goes to voicemail, so Moses leaves a voicemail message) Hey God, it’s Moses here. Just ringing cos I’m in a bit of a tricky situation down here, do y’a think you could lend an outstretched hand at all? Anyway please ring back when you pick this up. Bye bye ————————- Scene 4: Liberation Moses: (To the Israelites, a bit sheepishly) Umm so actually Pharaoh didn’t want to let you go. He/she/they mentioned something about the economy, and God isn’t picking up the phone so I guess we’ll have to go with your original plan – I’ll still take the credit though if that’s okay?”