i hate seeing these fucking internet psyop accounts who come on here and go ‘erm ackshually you as a trans man have privilege over trans women and should kill yourself’ or they go ‘omg you are being oppressed by the “TIMs” you need to join us with female solidarity’
like what the fuck are you talking about. my girlfriend is a trans woman. i have several friends and loved ones who are trans women. you are not going to convince me to just throw them under the bus or start seeing them as my enemy just because you made a 20 note post trying to detail why trans men and trans women are fucking natural born enemies or whatever
i hate seeing weird fucking cis people come online and make fun of or belittle transfems or transmascs and do it under the guise of ‘standing up for’ the opposite side. back the fuck up out of trans peoples business you fucking freaks
i have more in common with my transfem loved ones than i ever will with cis people. go fuck yourself it is so irritating to see these freak motherfuckers come online and start punching down at trans people because ‘i’m doing it in the name of defending other trans people it’s okay’
like i’m not kidding if you say to my face that ‘trans women are so entitled and need to learn to listen to trans men’ i am going to fucking sock you in the face. get the fuck away from me you mongrel
my girlfriend would sock you in the face too if you said to her ‘trans men are such rapist males always trying to co opt transfem struggles’ because both of us live in the real world where trans people need to have each others’ backs
you people are actual freaks coming online and trying to sow discourse. i do not ever want to fucking see another cis person making fun of trans men OR nonbinary people OR trans women in the name of ‘protecting other trans people’ i am so sick of you motherfuckers sticking your noses where it doesn’t belong
‘people took me more seriously and treated me with more respect when i came out as a trans man and started transitioning. i gained male privilege which means every trans man gains male privilege’
that’s cool! i came out when i was fifteen and got completely socially ostracised and got sexually abused and physically shoved and hit by my classmates and i had people throw food at me and try to figure out what genitals i had and make plans to beat me up and call me an ‘it’ and it completely stunted my already warped understanding of community and other people and made my already poor social skills even worse and also worsened my schizophrenia and personality disorder. and then when i broke up with my boyfriend who was sexually abusing me he used my identity as a trans man to paint me as simultaneously a hysterical overreacting little girl and an abusive dangerous man and he lied and said i was the one who abused HIM and i lost my friend group because of it. and also i got fetishised and stalked. and then when i was seventeen i got correctively raped with then intention of impregnating me and it worked and then i miscarried but couldn’t tell anyone because of my shitty home situation. but yeah your experience of gaining male privilege is universal
(some trans men DO gain aspects of male privilege! some of us don’t! it’s complex and depends on various other circumstances of our life and to behave like every trans man automatically receives complete male privilege is incorrect and leaves a lot of us out of the discussion)
like it actually drives me fucking insane how much people think it's suddenly okay to be misogynistic and ableist towards me now that i'm a trans man. i have faced far more misogyny since coming out than i ever did when i was living as a woman
being a trans man means you grow up being belittled and mocked for the way you were born and being told that the way you were born means you're stupid and and less artistic and less funny and your interests are cringe and you're not as capable as other people
and in if you say 'hey it's actually fucked up to treat me like that' then they say 'sit down and shut up and listen to the men. we know better'
and then you come out
and you get belittled and mocked for the way you were born and being told that the way you were born means you're stupid and and less artistic and less funny and your interests are cringe and you're not as capable as other people but this time it's because 'haha men are so lame and cringe and dumb'
and in if you say 'hey it's actually fucked up to treat me like that' then they say 'sit down and shut up and listen to the women. we know better'
and you are not allowed to point this out because then a significant number of people will lose their convenient punching bag
actually i'm still mad about this lmao because this is exactly what i'm talking about
when i was a woman i'd say 'hey people are treating me cruelly because of my gender' and people would say 'shut up no they're not'
and now as a trans man people are still saying the same fucking things. thanks for proving my point. i long for the day that i get to talk about the things that happen to me without 4 billion cunts swarming to tell me to shut the fuck up and stop being hysterical
being a trans man means you grow up being belittled and mocked for the way you were born and being told that the way you were born means you're stupid and and less artistic and less funny and your interests are cringe and you're not as capable as other people
and in if you say 'hey it's actually fucked up to treat me like that' then they say 'sit down and shut up and listen to the men. we know better'
and then you come out
and you get belittled and mocked for the way you were born and being told that the way you were born means you're stupid and and less artistic and less funny and your interests are cringe and you're not as capable as other people but this time it's because 'haha men are so lame and cringe and dumb'
and in if you say 'hey it's actually fucked up to treat me like that' then they say 'sit down and shut up and listen to the women. we know better'
and you are not allowed to point this out because then a significant number of people will lose their convenient punching bag
being a trans man means you grow up being belittled and mocked for the way you were born and being told that the way you were born means you're stupid and and less artistic and less funny and your interests are cringe and you're not as capable as other people
and in if you say 'hey it's actually fucked up to treat me like that' then they say 'sit down and shut up and listen to the men. we know better'
and then you come out
and you get belittled and mocked for the way you were born and being told that the way you were born means you're stupid and and less artistic and less funny and your interests are cringe and you're not as capable as other people but this time it's because 'haha men are so lame and cringe and dumb'
and in if you say 'hey it's actually fucked up to treat me like that' then they say 'sit down and shut up and listen to the women. we know better'
and you are not allowed to point this out because then a significant number of people will lose their convenient punching bag
So this probably won't go anywhere but I'm gonna share a story about my experiences with white queer people because I think
1) We need to start criticizing white queer people for their racism more, and
2) I'm noticing similar behavior crop up all over the internet (not just tumblr), behavior I thought stopped existing in queer spaces in the 2010s but here we are. One of the reasons I felt the need to speak out about transmasc issues after being a lurker for years because I was noticing similar patterns of hate, lack of accountability and deflection in the discourse to the patterns of behavior I've experienced in spaces that were socially commanded by white queer people. These experiences made me feel actively unsafe.
I'm not saying that white queer people are "the problem" or "the oppressors" uniquely from non queer white people, just that this is a problem and we need to address it to have a healthy community. Being queer does not negate your ability to be ignorant, racist, and harmful.
So before this experience, I had mostly been in spaces that at the very least had the common sense to condemn rape jokes, ableism, and blatant racism/homophobia (most white people in my life never were very good at condemning microaggressions). Then my friend invited me to join a group they made that was nice to start, I made friends in it. It was a large group with some people my friend didn't know super well that were friends of friends. There's some interpersonal stuff that went on but that's mostly irrelevant. Then a portion of people started disregarding my friend's rules (which were really just common decency) and started overrunning the space with some completely unacceptable things that they played off as jokes. Things like calling people slurs and then saying "I'm queer so it's ok" and making ableist comments and saying "I'm autistic so it's ok" (this was the mildest of it). I finally got fed up and called them out for it and I was cornered and dogpiled on because the other people in this in-group came to the defense even though this was shit that was absolutely unacceptable. My friend and I are both brown transmascs and our opposition to these issues were met with claims that we're tyrannical, hysterical, manipulative and too soft/sensitive for our reaction to things that again, were just 100% unacceptable. There were other groups run by these people that they had invited my friend to, so I had not personally witnessed the things that happened there but hearing about it was enough to know I wanted nothing to do with these people anymore (my friend was being gaslight and came to me for advice). Rape jokes, lynching jokes, blackface jokes, ableist jokes, homophobic jokes, basically any horrible thing you can imagine, and the people in the group would deflect by saying "I'm queer and a leftist so it's ok". They personally bullied me, one way was calling me "tenderqueer" and "twee" (things I literally had never been called before) for not tolerating these things, they would use "theyfab" against my friend, they would degender my friend and dehumanize them, they would attack and mock the other transmascs in the group, they were misogynistic towards and objectified every cis woman in the group and some nonbinary people afab (usually reducing them to walking breasts). My friend and I were the only people who spoke up against it and were vilified to the point we actually started wondering if we were making a big deal about nothing, and were the ones in the wrong; even though again, these are things that are 100% unacceptable. Part of the reason we had this doubt was that in a large group of mostly white queer people, nobody said anything even though they were also uncomfortable.
All of the poc who didn't tolerate these things were alienated and left, and the only poc that received respect from the white people and were not harassed/vilified were actively playing into these things or complicit in it happening.
Basically it didn't matter what was being said, these white people would always have control over the narrative. That's because the internalized racism of self proclaimed progressive white people runs so deep that they unconsciously view white people as more respectable and trustworthy than poc. They would use their queerness as a deflection tactic for their bad behavior and get away with it while they victimized queer poc.
To white queer people, if you actually care about dismantling oppression and being progressive, you HAVE to unlearn these internalized biases and hold other white people accountable as well. You have to self-reflect on "why do I trust this white person's opinion more than this poc?", "why do i assume this poc is being aggressive and irrational?", "why am I choosing silence and non-conflict over standing beside poc when microaggressions are happening?", "why do I ignore the experiences of poc?"/"Do I see white experiences as the default?". White queer people need to seriously take into account when they're abusing white privilege, harming poc, and using their queerness as a deflection.
Anyway, another really long post, I really hope people hear this and reflect because this sort of thing certainly is happening elsewhere on the internet. This behavior isn't unique to this group of people and I keep seeing it get worse. I honestly don't trust anyone who uses "tenderqueer", "theyfab" or makes generalizations about transmascs to not have even worse mindsets underneath the surface after this experience.
Side note: several of these people thought I disliked them after my initial opposition to the targeted slurs and ableism. I didn't like the behavior but I was giving the benefit of the doubt for them to be better, and I don't see conflict as a reason to hate someone. I only started disliking them when the behavior didn't change and I heard about the worse behavior. White people have such warped views on interpersonal conflict. In my experience, they're either completely adverse to it and as a result, adverse to conflict resolution, or they seek it out and vehemently hate the people they are in conflict with. Conflict WILL happen when there are opposing viewpoints but the goal should be to resolve it and make sure everyone is comfortable and fully heard by the end. Most white people view conflict as a game to be won, because no matter how in the wrong they are, they have the power to suppress non white people's voices, and thus, in their minds, they "win" the conflict. I would much rather have a reasonable discussion and come to an understanding than "win".
I am nine when my older brother gets in my face and screams that i am a tranny and a faggot who deserves to be raped and to die. No one will comfort me after.
I am ten when I am ostracized from my peers, children are ushered away from me when their parents see me. I am my small town's freakshow tranny child. People I grew up with would now rather die than be seen with me. No one will comfort me after.
I am eleven when I stop looking at myself in the mirror, the reflection that peers back makes me sick to my stomach, the soft curves and long eyelashes make me ill. No one will comfort me after.
I am twelve when my principal takes me aside after a school assembly and tells me that I will not be allowed to participate in track and field for the crime of being transgender. No one will comfort me after.
I am thirteen when my male classmates snicker and laugh at me, calling me a cuntboy, no matter how tightly I bind my chest, no matter how I try to lower my voice, they do not accept me as "one of them". No one will comfort me after.
I am fourteen when I stop posting my face online, my dms are filled with men twice, thrice my age calling me a cuntboy and talking about how they want to rape me into being "fixed" and a docile housewife. No one will comfort me after.
I am fifteen when I cry into my pillow, dysphoria is tearing me apart and I have nowhere to turn for love and comfort, my mother grimaces when I tell her I want to cut my hair, she tells me it's so nice and long, why would I cut it when it's so lovely and feminine. I am holding back tears. No one will comfort me after.
I am sixteen, I go weeks without showering because I cannot stand to look down and see my curves, I am banned from starting HRT until I move out. No one will comfort me after.
having a post get big sucks because illiteracy georg will inevitably show up with such an outlandish and baffling interpretation of your post that you have to wonder if they read it at all
deeply tempting to delete this account. majority of the interactions with my posts have been positive but having so many people interact with my posts and spread them is deeply stressful to me as a schizophrenic with persecutory delusions
hence why i hate when my posts get attention. somebody always comes along who does not understand what i wrote and does not listen when i explain what i wrote and then i become the bad guy
being higher support needs autistic is SO exhausting why does everyone read implications into every word that comes out of my mouth. i say exactly what i mean and yet somehow nobody understands what i’m saying
it’s cool and all that my posts have been blowing up and reaching people but also that is SO scary
mostly because i have been doxxed before (due to someone intentionally misinterpreting my words (i am autistic) and using that as a reason) and because i am schizophrenic and suffer from persecutory delusions
having popular posts is like. cool and all. but also deeply deeply terrifying because it feels like i am being monitored and watched and i must be very very careful of what i say in case the aforementioned doxxing situation happens again where someone misinterprets my words and does not believe me when i try to explain myself and then suddenly everyone hates me for a thing i never said
it’s cool and all that my posts have been blowing up and reaching people but also that is SO scary
mostly because i have been doxxed before (due to someone intentionally misinterpreting my words (i am autistic) and using that as a reason) and because i am schizophrenic and suffer from persecutory delusions
having popular posts is like. cool and all. but also deeply deeply terrifying because it feels like i am being monitored and watched and i must be very very careful of what i say in case the aforementioned doxxing situation happens again where someone misinterprets my words and does not believe me when i try to explain myself and then suddenly everyone hates me for a thing i never said
Ok, I want to preface this by asking you to please not immediately react with denial, anger, or accuse me of neglecting other groups, or just being uneducated.
Look up
'trans people india'
'trans people pakistan'
'trans people bangladesh'
'trans people malaysia'
'trans people turkey'
'trans people afghanistan'
'trans people tajkistan'
Look at interviewers, new reporters, trans life accounts, descriptions of trans communities, trans activists, autobiographies, protests, everything.
And ask yourself.
Where are the trans men?
And do not balk, or accuse me of saying trans men are the most oppressed group in the world,
When I tell you they are enslaved. Or married. Or dead.
it truly is the most privileged men who come on here acting like their experiences are universal
i’m glad that the white man kevin who lives in a blue state in the USA got to go on testosterone when he was 16 and the only misogyny he ever experienced was being told ‘you throw like a girl’ but that does not apply to all of us
why do the kevins of tumblr feel the need to downplay our oppression. i am glad that kevin never got raped or beat up or had medical care withheld from him for being a trans man but some of us don’t get to have it that easily
Kevin: Its not as bad when its a trans man. Because of the magical and innate man in you which was somehow seen by the 30 year old man who wanted to marry you. This was more misdirected homophobia than anything else.
the day that the kevins of tumblr learn that Different People Experience Different Things is the day that i lose like 20% of my daily irritation
and i always see them doing this specifically with trans men from the global south or from more conservative countries. kevin will rock up to a trans man who is not allowed to leave the house without a man with him and kevin will say 'you have male privilege' and not realise how fucking stupid he sounds
like a gutted fish @like-a-gutted-fish - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
