when the men come, set yourself on fire
things I’ll tell my daughter 1. falling is okay. learn to land. 2. experience is the best teacher but 3. not everything needs to be experienced 4. some people serve no purpose in your life other than to grow you and that’s okay. 5. also okay: being wrong. 6. not okay: refusing to learn and grow. 7. he is not your priority. 8. darkness is banal. be happy. 9. a long shower will fix any problem, and if it doesn’t, I will. 10. no, that doesn’t look good but wear it anyway. 11. they want you to be small to fit into their palms. don’t shrink. 12. love yourself. 13. love yourself. 14. love yourself. 15. I know they say the first cut is the deepest, but it doesn’t feel any better the second or third time, either. this is why God made chocolate, white wine, and your best friend. 16. the flight attendant was right: save yourself first. 17. just because he’s your first does not make him your last and baby girl, I swear that’s okay. 18. speak up. speak up. speak up. you have a voice and you have every fucking right to use it. speak up. 19. if you wouldn’t say it to your best friend, don’t say it to yourself, either. 20. pretty isn’t a compliment. 21. say no. say no often. say no in every language you can think of. it’s a complete sentence. 22. you deserve to take up space on this earth. 23. wash your hands. 24. mind your business. you’ll be happy. 25. your brown skin is a blessing. glo. 26. you only get one body, one life. it’s yours. do whatever the hell you want with it. 27. don’t intentionally hurt other people. it might feel okay at first but you’ll feel the acid in your throat later. 28. sex is cool or whatever but so is waiting and trust me, it’s not the cure-all for whatever is bothering you. 29. read more. read it again. read it one more time. 30. Kanye got the answers. If he doesn’t, I do. 31. I know life seems black and white at first but learn to love the gradient. good people sometimes do bad shit. 32. does it feel wrong? it probably is. don’t keep doing it. 33. text him first, you look silly waiting for a text he doesn’t know he’s supposed to send. 34. walk away from things that don’t serve you anymore. if it’s too hard, call me and I’ll take you away from them. 35. do not underestimate what manicured nails and a fresh face of makeup will do for your mood. 36. you DO get to choose who you love. leave that bum nigga alone. 37. let yourself grieve for what you lost but don’t let it drown you. stand up, wipe your tears, fix your mascara, and move on. 38. running from your feelings is a race you’re guaranteed to lose. face them and deal with them. 39. silence is a message. 40. some people are just toxic. don’t bother. 41. red lippie looks good on you, too. 42. it gets easier, I swear it does. 43. this, too, shall pass. 44. there is a silver lining if you look hard enough. 45. shutting down is not the correct response. ever. stop. 46. even if he never loves you, I do.
47. Remember that at one point, you didn’t know, either. Forgive others their ignorance. 48. If you say it bothers you and they continue to do it anyone, they do not respect you and that is NOT OKAY. 49. Check your privilege. Do it often. 50. Being trustworthy is key. Keep your word. 51. Respect yourself enough to understand the difference between what you want and what you deserve. 52. Bodies of water are the calmest places on earth. Find one when you’re stressed. 53. If he doesn’t pray with you, he’s not the one. 54. Time is the most valuable commodity you have. Refuse to give it away freely. 55. The fear of failure is paralyzing but understand that sitting still is worse than failing. You WILL get run over if you do not keep going. 56. Trust the timing of your life. There’s a reason things happen when they do. 57. Google everything. Never lose your thirst for learning. Knowledge is important. 58. Protect your space. Some people are like moths and are only attracted to your light but serve no purpose. do not let them in. 59. Your gut instinct is right. do not let yourself be talked out of it. it’s your conscience and your common sense. 60. Buy a body pillow. They’re like sleeping partners but they don’t snore.
61. you’re greater than your demons. 62. it’s okay to talk back to the voices in your head. just, like, not out loud. 63. eat that last slice of pizza. 64. don’t ever beg ANYONE to stay in your life.
65. “no woman can play coaster to a half empty heart.”
66. you don’t always have to take the road less traveled. sometimes, it’s less traveled for a reason.
66. do it right the first time. having to do it again is a waste of your time, and you know what I think about wasted time…
67. a boy being mean to you isn’t a sign that he likes you. don’t accept abuse as love. 68. do it, even if it is going to take a long time. time passes whether you’re still or in flight. 69. don’t push people away because you’re afraid of saying goodbye. 70. jealousy is a sign of insecurity, not how much a person likes you. 71. you can like something just because it’s pretty. don’t let them shame your happiness.
