i'll be gone when the morning comes

MATTY KINCAID | BLOODSUCKER | 33 (ISH) | ARTIST, ADDICT, SNITCH and nothing really rocks, and nothing really rolls, and nothing's ever worth the cost.

[packsbeforesnacks]

Misguided Ghosts || Matty & Winn

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TIMING: May 25th, 2020, after Unbreakable Oaths and before The Trail Begins. LOCATION: Candleton Cemetery PARTIES: @likeamattoutofhell & @packsbeforesnacks SUMMARY: Matty and Winn are both lookin’ for an escape. Nothin’ like the quiet of the dead to liven up a conversation. Winn makes a decision. WARNINGS: Alcoholism (Mention), Addiction (Mention)

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[letsbenditlikebennett]

The Trail Begins || Ariana, Matty, & Simon

TIMING: After this (x) and this (x) PARTIES: @likeamattoutofhell @inconvenientsimonstrocity @letsbenditlikebennett SUMMARY: Simon find Ariana at Winn’s house when he goes to check up on him. They follow his trail to the cemetery to find a drunken Matty. 

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[carrionxcamille]

Life After Death | Camille & Matty

[likeamattoutofhell-archive]

carrionxcamille‌:

Camille knew what gas-lighting was. Not that Jace had often been subtle or sober enough to make it work, but she knew there had been a few occasions where she’d been stupid and sad enough to let it wash over her, to accept whatever he’d told her she was. She had died, though. That was a fact. An undeniable one. Camille Hawkins had tumbled down the stairs and died. Not that she remembered it very well- sometimes it came to her in nightmares- but the articles and news segments on the incident had been vivid enough.

There was the thing on the back of her hand, too. She still wasn’t totally clear what it meant but it had just been there when she’d woken up, so it seemed like it had to be something to do with the whole brought back to life bit, right? She had scrubbed and scrubbed at it one day, desperate for even the flimsiest proof that this was all some big cruel joke. All she’d done was make her hand red and dry. 

So maybe this guy wasn’t a vampire, and maybe Camille did need a therapist, but she had died and if he wanted her to believe otherwise he’d have to kill her again and pry that fact out of her cold dead hands. Was there a therapist patient and open-minded enough in the world to take ‘I died once’ not as some strange illness but just a fact of her life that she needed to process? Probably not, and if they did exist they would be very very expensive. 

She picked up her ice bucket and watched him flounder his way through denials, acting every bit like an eight year old who didn’t want to admit that they’d ripped another kids art project. Guilty, and doing nothing but pointing at other people. Her eyebrows shot up at his final statement, and a surprised little laugh burst out. “Seriously? No we’re not vampires but you should move? Smooth.” Camille sighed, looking over to the ice machine. “I just thought you might…” She flashed the back of her hand and that stupid mark, shrugging and abandoning her explanation. “Whatever.” She walked the short distance to the machine and stuck her bucket in the slot, pressing the button to bring ice raining down while she mumbled under her breath. “If they burst into my room in the middle of the night it’d be a mercy killing at this point anyway.”

God, the stare. And the laugh. And, and fuck, the... mercy killing. Even muttered, so low it had to be the vampire bullshit that made him hear at all. Matty flinched, deeply, eyes darting back to that door he’d slipped through just a moment ago - still shut tight, thankfully. Boh and his freakshow friends were probably too busy, too blasted, to listen out. With any luck they’d stay that way. Mostly for her sake. Even if she didn’t seem to give much of a shit. 

Which sucked. A lot. 

Rocking onto his toes, tipping into a step closer, then back, then around, leaving her tons, piles, of room, Matty tried to sort out just what the fuck he could do about this. If anything. Knew how he felt about it. Bad. Honestly. Yeah, he hadn’t managed any good lies, in all that. But - but he wasn’t used to people just, you know, casually dropping that sorta bowling ball in his lap. Not people like her, anyway. So far as he could tell what “like her” was. God, though. One of the nice things about being around the living, standard issue living human beings, usually, was that they didn’t know. Not like werewolves, or, fuck, other vampires. For instance. Get a standard issue living human being totally trashed, though, and - there it was. A wild guess. Maybe the whole town was like that, honestly. Just a good drink away from admitting that only the crazy explanations made any sense, anymore. 

"Hey, uh...” How did you start this? He threw out a hand, and spun up a smile, making an effort. “What’s your name? I’m Matty. I - I paint, in town. Sing a bit, sometimes...” Great. Only, there was no reason that any of that would mean fuck all. Not with what she’d actually asked. “And I died,” he tried, that smile starting to strain. “But, uh. Not the way you did, probably, so.” Oh, too late. Too late to stop, between the buzz of all that slayer blood and the guilt, at seeing this lady so... fuckin’ lost, and done. “So, I’m - I’m sorry, the right answer was yes. I’m a,  yeah, a vampire.” Felt a little sick to say it, even. He swallowed, uncomfortably. “That. And so are the total douchebags next door. Really, you - you should move.” He leaned into that, a little desperately. If nothing else came of this, of him being a fuckin’ slayer-drunk idiot, telling some stranger this kinda shit... maybe, it’d scare her enough to spare her winding up as Drasko’s next snack. And that’d be something, right? That’d be something. 

[likeamattoutofhell-archive]

HEADCANON - THE HANGED MAN, REVERSED

Well, it’s no secret that Matty needs to take a good, long look at his un-life, and his choices, from a different angle. Reversed, the Hanged Man has some shit to say about why he just can’t seem to do that.

Left dangling in more ways than one, Matty has never been able to let go of the difference between his should be and is. And to be fair, he’s never had much of a shot. He’s young for a vampire, and has spent most of those messy years since his death scraping by, badly, in some dark supernatural corners. Not ideal for soul-searching. White Crest, crazy as it is, could be his best chance in decades to look after himself, and clear his head - but that seems to be the last thing he wants. What’s the fuckin’ deal? 

The Hanged Man, Reversed, is fighting the flow that this card is all about when upright. Instead of surrendering to the present, Matty’s stuck grieving the past, unable to reconcile the two and unwilling to accept those things he just can’t change… like he doesn’t know better, at some level. A level he keeps buried as deep as he can get it, under layers of ash and alcohol, defensiveness and arm’s distances (at least) between him and the people who might be able to actually help. 

This arcana shows up to suggest that not only are you stuck in the wrong state of mind, you’re actively avoiding a change you know you need, and missing opportunities to make that easier for yourself. That’s not to say that your obstacles aren’t real; just that you need to reconsider your approach. Or, more accurately, your non-approach. At this point, Matty’s kinda broken down. His losses have festered to the point where he can’t easily start anything new, and his problems just can’t be solved - not the way he wants. 

So he’s just trying to hurt less, in every sense. Only, he’s doing that alone, (un)dead certain that trying to find a place among other stranger things - and other vampires, most of all - will only make it worse, make him worse, closer to becoming the kind of monster they are. What else? The supernatural world made a shit first impression, and precious little that he’s seen since then has managed to make him any more comfortable around the weirder side of White Crest. Maybe he’s got his reasons to be afraid, but as far as solutions go, Matty’s got it backwards. 

And not only does he understand that, if he’s being honest - it’s getting more obvious by the day. Perhaps he’s not ready to reach out to those stranger things, even now. But, seriously, Matty just needs to deal with the fact that he’ll never be entirely ready, and it’s gotta happen. Or nothing’s going to change. Only, even if he could find something like a real community... what the fuck would happen if his freaky new friends ever found out about the things he’s done to get by? Another reason to run the other direction, and not bother at all, isn’t that? 

Maybe if he could just hang a little looser, and let himself believe in the better parts of himself, it’d be easier to see the better parts in everything like him. And vice versa. Just maybe. 

[likeamattoutofhell-archive]

[likeamattoutofhell-archive]

sgtrolandhills‌:

They smashed all of my windows and didn’t even unlock a single door. It has to be easier and faster to loot a car with the doors open. 

I mean, if they didn’t even try to get in, and you didn’t have anything worth stealing, anyway - maybe they just straight up weren’t trying to break in, at all? Could be some kid working their shit out. Badly, obviously. A little, like, cathartic vandalism. You know? 

[likeamattoutofhell-archive]

thronesofshadows‌:

[pm] I enjoy the way you think. You are so lucky. Do not worry, I promise you still look nice. 

More so the not, at least for me. If this was a sort of joke. Apologies if not, sometimes I do not get those.

Thank you. I appreciate your flexibility. 

[pm] Right back at you, yeah? On both counts. The two on the ends, the - you’re a total goddess, obviously, and you’ve got a real cool, like, perspective, on things. 

No, you’re good, that’s it. Same, honestly. Kinda nice to just say that, h

Hey, gotta be. Don’t bend, you’ll break, or somebody’ll break you, but that’s kinda heavy, and you’re alr and all that crap.

[likeamattoutofhell-archive]

mor-beck-more-problems‌:

Yeah, you’d think there’d at least be a cheesy pamphlet for, “so you or someone you know lost a limb to a watermelon/lobster/sea-worm/whatever.”

Couldn’t hurt, right? Like a welcome package. Map, flashlight, couple coupons, a tourniquet. Maybe a flask, so you can fuckin’ drink to forget.

[likeamattoutofhell-archive]

Drawn by the undertow, my life is out of control I believe this wave will bear my weight, so let it flow

Oh, sit down, oh, sit down, oh, sit down Sit down next to me Sit down, down, down, down, down, in sympathy

Now I'm relieved to hear that you've been to some far out places It's hard to carry on when you feel all alone

Now I've swung back down again, and it's worse than it was before If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor

Oh, sit down, oh, sit down, oh, sit down Sit down next to me Sit down, down, down, down, down, in sympathy

Those who feel the breath of sadness, sit down next to me Those who find they're touched by madness, sit down next to me Those who find themselves ridiculous, sit down next to me

In love, in fear, in hate, in tears In love, in fear, in hate, in tears In love, in fear, in hate, in tears In love, in fear, in hate

Oh, sit down Sit down next to me Sit down, down, down, down, down, in sympathy

[likeamattoutofhell-archive]

If you died right now, what song would you want to play at your funeral?

Jesus. “See You Through,” Warhorse. Done.

Except I wouldn’t. Have one. A funeral. Too fuckin’ depressing. Like this question, like this tow Maybe a wake? Been to a couple of those. Seems like a good send-off, you know, just - a party. Celebration of life, whatever. Wouldn’t even have to deal with my body being around, tha Could store me in a fuckin’ ashtray. Be kinda funny, actua

Fuck, I even missed her f

[likeamattoutofhell-archive]

grahamstoker replied to your post: Why you scared? Don't be scared.

Don’t be scared, man. Lemme take you out for drinks or something. Find your happy place. No be scared; life’s too short for shit like that.

You ever wonder if life’s too long, actually, just in gener Fuck, that’s dark.

Well, uh. My usual happy place is probably still hoovering up glass, so. Guess I’m down for suggestions. 

[likeamattoutofhell-archive]

Why you scared? Don't be scared.

So many reasons, man. More than I used to have, but, like. That’s undeadness adulthood, I guess. You know? Lotta self-reflection, and real rough prioritizing, and a majorly fucked sleep schedule. Scary stuff.

[mor-beck-more-problems]

I've heard you are the woman to talk to about rocks. How many of your magical rocks...on rough estimation, could fit inside a person's stomach? What if they were dead? Have you tried yet? -Asking for a friend

Yeah, I sold all the “magic” rocks, you’re out of luck. Also I’m really concerned about this so-called friend of yours. You should maybe...seek help. 

[likeamattoutofhell-archive]

Right? The more I see of this hellhole, the more painfully fuckin’ obvious it gets that this town seriously needs to kick up the whole mental health situation, around here. You know? Given all the freaky shit that keeps happening, too, like, come on.

[divineluce]

How much would it cost to get tattoos put on a corpse? Do you charge more depending on how long they've been dead? -Asking for a friend

A corpse? What the actual fuck? Drag a dead body into the shop and I’ll fucking call the cops on your ass. Siktir et ile bu saçmalık, dallama.

[likeamattoutofhell-archive]

Jesus. That’s profoundly fucked. White Crest’s just going all out tonight, huh?

[likeamattoutofhell-archive]

What genre of music do you either loathe or dislike the most?

Honestly, I’m not super into the whole sharp lines, deep divisions kinda stuff. It’s not that simple, you know? There’s overlap, like, cross-pollination, and shit. So, guess that’s all to say, I’ll give anything a listen. Why not, right? Worst comes to worst, you don’t dig it - turn it off, find something else. Tons of music out there, something for everybody. All good. 

[likeamattoutofhell-archive]

sgtrolandhills‌:

That’s a good idea. Thank you, sir. I’ll get that set up for tonight so it’s safe until it gets a tow somewhere. I drive a truck, so the trunk isn’t even covered most of the time. It didn’t look like anyone actually stole anything, but other cars parked near mine seemed to have the same problem. Which means I have my work cut out for me, but surely there’s a reasonable answer. I thought it was overkill, too. Not that I condone robbery, but there are smarter ways to go about it. 

Well, hey. Nothing lost, so. That’s good, nice. What’s the smarter way? Just, inquiring minds, and all that. 

[likeamattoutofhell-archive]

Has anyone ever tried to steal your hair? Have they ever succeeded? What would you estimate the going market rate for your luscious locks is? -Asking for a friend

Wow. Boundaries, set. Right here. Thank you, goodbye.

For the record, doubt it’s worth all that much anymore. Missed your window, you fuckin’ creep.