For Keep Sakes @likenoonesreading - Tumblr Blog

Finally. No one is reading. No one is watching. No one is hovering. The world is finally almost ours again. Did we have to divide so that we could conquer once more? Is this the plan? Is this where we’re headed? Please come with me. Please don’t go again. …Even If I tell you to go

Please don’t.

Goodbye

I used to think I could wait around for you. But I realized I’m not that girl anymore. And I think now In all actuality You realize it, too. So if for some reason You thought this could work Please just turn around. I told you time was short. Part of me believes you were on your way But that’s always the problem with you. You never tell me the plan Until I say I’m leaving. Only this time I didn’t tell you And while I’m sure that seems unfair Please remember that you left me Before I left you. So when the sun goes down And you decide to find my face Through a virtual reality that gives you your fix I hope you think about this. I hope you understand why I had to go And why you can’t come with me. I never thought I’d say this But it's about time you had to be the one to watch me fall in love with someone else.

sickmornings

moodsandmuses

Like Crazy.

So tired of wasting my time. I just want this to be over.

Let's just do the damn thing.

I go through every mixed feeling of loving you and hating you just about every single day now. Maybe I'll have it narrowed down to just one by the time I see you again.

On Top.

Now that you know it’s like you have this powerful advantage over the situation that used to be mine. Being the only one to know was lonely, but it made sense and it was safer than where I almost am with you now. I don’t want to go back to loving you more than I love myself, but I’m afraid you won’t know how to love me when I continue to choose me first.

I’ve always been too strong willed for you, and if you think I won’t be even stronger now - you’re wrong. I mean what I said before we decided to end. Going back to the way things were doesn’t solve or heal anything. It only sets us up for the same mistakes and disappointments. If you want all of my time, you can’t have it. I’ve always been so quick to give myself away. You can promise me the world, but I can go get it, too - with or without you.

My One

I had a feeling you’d find your way. The hard part now is not really knowing what I want. I know what you need and what’s important, but I’m afraid you don’t even know me anymore. What if by the time I see you we realize we have nothing in common anymore or we’re just too damn scared to try? I go back in time and remember all of the greatest feelings and moments. Sometimes I think I want to leave them that way - lost, but untouched and unshaken. It’s easy to remember all of the things I loved about being us. But as time goes on I realize I’m not the same, and hopefully, neither are you. Maybe time has a way of deciding, and maybe it’s worth it to try. But I still don’t know if the time I’m spending thinking about it can change how I might feel when I see you. I know that what I need no longer includes you, and that I’ve learned to be just me. Still, it’s hard to keep up with what you might be thinking. I can only hope that I continue to feel a combination of fear and excitement as I get closer to discovering whether or not what I want is in fact, what I want.

You are a complete and total fucking psychopath. What thee actual fuck.

It's fun, really. Trying to avoid the bottomless pit of exhaustion and purposelessness I've come to know so well. We come and go from one another and sometimes my desire for darkness is so profound and overwhelming that I become content living with the lights off. I hate to say that I don't enjoy company in the dark, but that I wish I had it anyways. Sometimes another soul keeps you there when all you need is someone to pull you out. To be enough for me, that's all I want from myself now. I've come to find that more often than not, it's just me. So send your good mornings and I miss you's and compliments elsewhere. I'm tired of loving people who can't love back. All I want now, is to crave daylight as much as I crave the dark. Perhaps I'll be gray. Soon.

‪And now you're playing some stupid charade of who you think you can be when you said it yourself - you're nothing without me.‬

I'm looking for change. I'm seeking something New Something personally purposeful. Where do you find purpose? I get tired of having to pull myself out of bed with every ounce of energy I've already lost. Purpose is intent, I think. I'm always looking around for the kind of person that walks without looking both ways. Relentlessness is so inviting. I like people who can keep up with whatever pace I choose. I like the challenge of getting them to work their way up to me. I don't feel all that high, really. Some days life is just life. Sometimes life just is. To do and to feel are so distant from one another now. I fear the harsh reality of my own mind caving in on me as I allow fear to live any longer. Time will tell but it sure as hell doesn't make any promises.

You keep tip toeing your way into my life and I’m so scared and so excited all at once. I’m distracted now, at least. By what, I can’t say. I’m not sure how I manage to keep my eyes open long enough to not see the bits of you I can only remember when the room goes dark. If you walk back through the door any quicker than you left, I fear impossibility. And if life should decide to let me be free of this then I pray it comes soon. If it captivates me, let it come sooner. No battle is more painful than having the world wait on me while I’m busy waiting on someone else. I know you know now and I know the wait is the hard part. But maybe I’m just tired of always being someone’s second option. Maybe the power you have in knowing has been pulling me apart piece by piece. So please just come the fuck home or let me the fuck go.

Funny how so many of the men in my life have ended their days with women who aren't me. It's always the same. I'm always the same. I'm just tired.

I still don’t know How I got here How we got here Why I feel so little When all I want Is to feel so much. The nights are longer Now. The only thing worse than wanting company is having it. And then watching it leave. I used to think I missed having someone beside me. The nights felt longer then. Now I remember A bed that’s not so empty And arms that make me feel at home In my own house. But when it’s gone It’s cold And lonely. Maybe Eventually It’ll never go away Regardless of who “we” are. Maybe The feeling will never be Enough.

You've got me feeling some type of way about myself that I spent so long trying to forget ever existed. I've been trying to forget and it's like as soon as I did, you decided to come back and remind me. I don't know what any of this means. I guess I should stop looking for a deeper meaning. Shit.

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

For Keep Sakes