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The Bright Sessions
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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shark vs the universe
EXPECTATIONS
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❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
$LAYYYTER
todays bird
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@lil-miss-javis
is anywhere safe from the caballan government’s chemtrails
I for one am terrified of the close proximity of the chemtrails to my supple body. I do not trust what the government plans to do with these mysterious roads of particles. They stink worse than spew.
Why is this floor the color of fecal matter?
Ah yes, I have returned from my month long quest to find the most excellent knowledge on how to stop the microscopic threat once and for all.
The answer: The power of love.
Sike, just kidding, it’s weapons.
you fucking idiot your back to your old tricks aren’t you
Ah, my liege, my expedition has led me to many fruitful insights. Example: Do you know what the small horse’s one true weakness is? It’s death.
you know what your weakness is
a common object that went out of date 10 years ago
And yours is two little ponies, I fail to understand your line of reasoning, your majesty.
you got beaten by them without them even going magical
Your queenliness, I am literally a sentient cassette tape with thin legs and who-knows-what arms. What would you expect me to do.
okay listen this is important
i saw a dog that looks like me in the desert the other day. i drew it from memory. pretty sure it looked like this
if anyone knows where this dog came from or where i can find it that would be cool
That is a very cool hoodie, I can appreciate funky fresh fashions in household pets.
Ah yes, I have returned from my month long quest to find the most excellent knowledge on how to stop the microscopic threat once and for all.
The answer: The power of love.
Sike, just kidding, it’s weapons.
you fucking idiot your back to your old tricks aren’t you
Ah, my liege, my expedition has led me to many fruitful insights. Example: Do you know what the small horse’s one true weakness is? It’s death.
you know what your weakness is
a common object that went out of date 10 years ago
And yours is two little ponies, I fail to understand your line of reasoning, your majesty.
Ah yes, I have returned from my month long quest to find the most excellent knowledge on how to stop the microscopic threat once and for all.
The answer: The power of love.
Sike, just kidding, it’s weapons.
I HATE MORMONS
Have I got an excellent musical by the creators of South Park for you.
WHAT THE FUCK I LOVE SOUTH PARK THEY’RE REALLY DEEP AND HAVE WHOLESOME MORALS
Listen, I have a few hot tips and tricks in regards to the art of satire that you do not "love" due to your ignorance. Morality is a creation created by the creatures of this dimension and has no real bearing in the cosmic multiverse, you primordial insect. You better reconsider your love of "South Park" lest it come to damage you in your future.
Ah yes, I have returned from my month long quest to find the most excellent knowledge on how to stop the microscopic threat once and for all.
The answer: The power of love.
Sike, just kidding, it’s weapons.
I HATE MORMONS
Have I got an excellent musical by the creators of South Park for you.
Ah yes, I have returned from my month long quest to find the most excellent knowledge on how to stop the microscopic threat once and for all.
The answer: The power of love.
Sike, just kidding, it’s weapons.
oh hey, it’s you
i saw a dog the other day did you do that
Unfortunately, I am incapable of materializing dogs. I can only work with eggs and hedgehogs. This was perhaps merely an act of pure luck on your end.
Ah yes, I have returned from my month long quest to find the most excellent knowledge on how to stop the microscopic threat once and for all.
The answer: The power of love.
Sike, just kidding, it’s weapons.
you fucking idiot your back to your old tricks aren’t you
Ah, my liege, my expedition has led me to many fruitful insights. Example: Do you know what the small horse's one true weakness is? It's death.
Ah yes, I have returned from my month long quest to find the most excellent knowledge on how to stop the microscopic threat once and for all.
The answer: The power of love.
Sike, just kidding, it's weapons.
I HAVE A REQUEST!
<LORD JAVIS! I HUMBLY REQUEST THAT YOU ATTEMPT TO COMBINE WITH ME! YOU SEE, I HAD A DREAM! TO ERADICATE THE OPPOSING FORCES WE COMBINED OUR MIGHT AND BECAME SOMETHING NEW ENTIRELY!
(rendition of dream-transformation)
THE POWER WAS UNLIKE ANY EVER WITNESSED!!!— WELL, OTHER THAN THE UNSURPASSED MIGHT OF THE QUEEN VERENA OF COURSE! WE SPANKED THE PONY WORLD IN IT’S FACE!
Corebros I refuse to put on the potara earrings.
Y-YES, SIR! SORRY SIR!
TO ANOTHER SUBJECT *UH-UHGM ! HOW HAS YOUR DAY BEEN, MASTER?
It was very good, soldier. I went shopping in town and bought some new curtains that will look absolutely amazing in my new study.
I HAVE A REQUEST!
<LORD JAVIS! I HUMBLY REQUEST THAT YOU ATTEMPT TO COMBINE WITH ME! YOU SEE, I HAD A DREAM! TO ERADICATE THE OPPOSING FORCES WE COMBINED OUR MIGHT AND BECAME SOMETHING NEW ENTIRELY!
(rendition of dream-transformation)
THE POWER WAS UNLIKE ANY EVER WITNESSED!!!— WELL, OTHER THAN THE UNSURPASSED MIGHT OF THE QUEEN VERENA OF COURSE! WE SPANKED THE PONY WORLD IN IT’S FACE!
Corebros I refuse to put on the potara earrings.
I hope you have a pleasant, refreshing sleep, too! Also, I just wanted to thank you for being so urbane despite your hatred for ponykind. It's a very admirable quality. Good night :)
It is true that while the sheer smallness of you horses makes me shudder in disgust, it is of utmost importance to keep out for the interests of future subjects in the efforts of preventing a future coup d'état. That would be most unfortunate.
^ AAND WE’RE BACK! LAST TIME WE ALL TALKED ABOUT THE PIGMENT COLOR OF JAVIS’ EYE! BUT WHO IS REALLY THE “BUTT” OF ALL THE JOKES? A MUMMY SO MALCONTENT IT IS IN HER TITLE! WHAT HAS MAIMED HER SO DEEPLY ANYWAY?! IS IT THAT SHE LOOKS LIKE A RAVEN HAIRED SMURFETTE?! HAHAHA
——-
IN ANY CASE WE…
Could somepony please explain to me what the hay just happened?
That would be Corebros’ nightly televised broadcast. I told him that it would be an excellent exercise in public speaking for when we succeed in our mission. He likes to make hilarious jokes so I allowed him to inject his comedic stylings to be the Next Great Talkshow Host.
Apparently, Most of an Egg is also quite violent.
I have taught him well.
^ AAND WE’RE BACK! LAST TIME WE ALL TALKED ABOUT THE PIGMENT COLOR OF JAVIS’ EYE! BUT WHO IS REALLY THE “BUTT” OF ALL THE JOKES? A MUMMY SO MALCONTENT IT IS IN HER TITLE! WHAT HAS MAIMED HER SO DEEPLY ANYWAY?! IS IT THAT SHE LOOKS LIKE A RAVEN HAIRED SMURFETTE?! HAHAHA
——-
IN ANY CASE WE…
Could somepony please explain to me what the hay just happened?
That would be Corebros' nightly televised broadcast. I told him that it would be an excellent exercise in public speaking for when we succeed in our mission. He likes to make hilarious jokes so I allowed him to inject his comedic stylings to be the Next Great Talkshow Host.
So, um, Mr. Javis sir, if you don't mind me asking, what would you do should you conquer our entire species?
I'm not particularly sure, Verena mentioned something along the lines of an interdimensional petting zoo with ridiculously inflated costs for snacks and novelty items. However, the truth behind those words are uncertain even to me, her trusted second-in-command.
But I'm assuming you'd carry letters and stuff for me, so that's confirmed for sure.
< IN CASE I HAVEN’T RETURNED FROM MY OBJECTIVE IN TIME OF MASTER JAVIS’ RETURN I’VE PRE-RECORDED THIS MESSAGE! THE HORSE BY THE NAME OF “BAD DEEDS” HAS REVEALED TO ME KEY INFORMATION.
Corebros, I fail to see how information…
NO NEED TO FEEL SYMPATHY! THEY MAY BE OLD BUT WE BOTH KNOW THAT THEY ARE EXTREMELY VIOLENT! BUT, THERE IS ONE THAT I REQUEST THAT YOU SHOW A SLIVER OF MERCY! THE ONE CALLED FLUTTERSHOT IS A PEACEFUL HORSE! SHE WOULD BE A GOOD SERVANT TO YOU MY KING! REFORM HER AS A CARRIER BIRD! YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED ONE OF THOSE!
Truth be told, I did need a new messenger ever since Verena got rid of my old one when I was grounded for failing to capture Caballus. Very well, in my unyielding compassion I will choose to place this flutter horse into a life of indentured servitude rather than outright extermination.
A PRE-RECORDED MESSAGE...
I, um, appreciate... it!
No need for thanks, yellow horse. the showing of teeth which is most definitely a sign of happiness in this dimension speaks volumes in regards to your gratitude. You're quite welcome.
