LilacSpoon?

A writer who struggles with names

[lilacspoon-blog]

I’m NEWWW

First time posted something I’ve written(or anything). I wanted some advice for a “short” story I’m writing. And…no I have revised it so..yeah there’s some grammatical errors.

So Enjoy~~

The sun sprayed it’s ray through the thick gray clouds, as if heaven is just beyond its barriers, and separating us from the bright welcoming warmth to let us soak in the darkness around us in the ever so fun planet. Staring at through the window, Amelia traced the rain drops that fell unto the clear glass. Tuning out her mother as she drone on about how they’re going to meet daddy and how handsome he is.

Amelia stared coldly towards her mother, startstrucked by a man that left them long ago; unbuckling her seat belt and opened the can door–Amelia poked her head out the door and stood. Gasping out Amelia eyes clouded, a sliver of the cerulean sky revealed itself against the gray boundaries.

Sticking out her leg, Amelia prepared to step then stop and turned back to her mother who is still gushing over her father and is completely unaware that her daughter is about to leave her also. Staring at the woman, who’s eyes has already lost it’s color and it’s sight Amelia clenched the door.

“I HATE YOU!” she screamed at the soulless woman.

“YOU’VE DONE NOTHING FOR ME!” Amelia screamed again at her mother desperate for any kinf of reaction; wanting the woman to yell out at her. Biting her cheek to prevent tears to flow down her cheeks Amelia glared down at the woman that talked to thin air throughout her life–she wonders how she survived when she was a child.

Nose flaring, Amelia punched the roof of the car.

“DAD LEFT BECAUSE OF YOU,” she said, her hands in fist and her hair whipping in the wind.

“JUST LIKE HIM I’M LEAVING!” silence welcomed Amelia, silence that she never heard before. Opening her eyes that she didn’t noticed she closed, Amelia’s dark eyes connected with her mother’s icy blue eyes.

“Sit down.” she said, still staring at Amelia.

Amelia slowly climbed back into the moving car and shut the door;slumping on the maroon leather seats Amelia did this while sustaining eye contact with her mother. Blue eyes stared her, even while driving, even while swerving off the road, even while driving into the trunk of the tree, even while glass sprayed onto it’s body.

Blue eyes stared at her as coughed blood, screaming for help, they stared at her as blood stream down on them pooling at her eyelashes.

As Amelia screamed in agony, the blue sky broke through the gray barrier filling her eyes as her mother tried to drag her down to hell with together.

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So how was it? Good? Bad?(That was just a part of the beginning of the story) Also name of meh story is Even Elephants Can Say Hello