hi 2021 me, this is your future self, ive deleted the insta account you spent ages curating to "focus on studies" dw you did great absolutely crushed everything but economics but um AS not so much,.. ok lets not get into my minds negative space again im here to cheer you up yes! yes be cheery. ive come to say that youve changed a lot, youre gonna hate me if you ever met me you'd be disappointed; i am too most the times, but moments like this im glad you got to flourish, experiment and live our wildest dreams without having to wait till youre an adult-well technically i *am* an adult rn but you get it- didnt take all the tedious process of "growing up" that you expected. Except, maybe i kinda did? you see now why i told you youre gonna hate me yea i sound like your worst nightmares: not a dime coherent, messy and all over the place, making no sense and controversial- not in the admirable way.
youre typing this after loggin into you abandoned tumblr acc for the second time in forever- its the only place you feel safe and nont paranoid, youre not afraid of being exposed as this acc has little to no links with the little bits and pieces of yourself you let others know. in fact the world is such a small space ive risked having all my worst secrets known to the worst people even on reddit- YES ON REDDIT the ultimate "anon platform". ik im typing in a very YA tone but its to aid your reading skillset at that time. sorry to say i didnt advance as much as you'd thought. Remember how we we're plagued with thoughts of being second-best? Well i've got some bad news for you, its become a second-skin now, until recently tho when you stopped belonging even in the top 5(barely).
i dont want to bear solely un-glad tidings
you just got off a call with someone you'd never guess-well the current you wont but maybe the you from 3rd grade might- wild ik. its not a season one character or even side plot more of a background char we spent a grand total of 1 ep obsessing over. i miss you, i miss you so so much and i miss the people you knew and where you grew up. ik in a little bit things are going to get reallly jarring for you, you'll have sleepless nights and pour everything into things which will disintegrate before getting a chance to take off- you'll be living in the darkest nightmares every waking hour but i promise and i swear- it'll pass. have some faith please. you'll need lots of it on the road. i wish i started doing this sooner but ig the most cherish able moments are the ones never recounted. youre gonna have the time of your life but it will come with a price to pay, be careful when you make the choice. i'm not saying you to take a different path from me i'll know in few years if what i'm going thru rn will be worth it in another 4-5 years of time but for you to choose what i did in the past- i rlly hope you know what youre getting into and have full fledged understanding of the consequences and conditions although i am aware your understanding is limited- no offense ik know youre doing great and you ARE the best trust me you always will be a star you just gotta stop being afraid of burning out cuz theres no such thing when youre so full of fuel youll be making your own in no time trust me- and never ever dim your light afraid of outshining others its not cool to be mediocre youre just making ppl comfortable who dont deserve it. and finally have some confidence pls stop cowering away under the pretense that your self-centred trust me if you were i'd be ruling an army by now. but i cant even ask for notes form the girl sitting beside me even though i desperately need it.
if you play your cards right you might be able to avoid a walking talking ptsd trigger that you awfully wanna click "add to hidden keywords" on and if you think more with your brain in the important situations and a little less in semotional ones you could be the best version of yourself i failed to be. dont say yes, please dont say yes no matter how tempting and "trivial" the outcome may seen. when youre in doubt and not fully in control theres no such thing as "guess a little wouldnt hurt" YES IT WOULD if you didnt instigate it dont accept it.
im sounding hella vague to you rn but im just praying you get it when the time is right.
its all been cautions and advice till now even though i came here ultimately with the intention of giving you hope to keep going through all of it even the darkest parts of your future to show you tha tin the end its all worth it- but i realize now that none of the 5% of initial cheeriness i had in mind was really worth enough to flow from my mind through my fingertips and onto the screen. i was going to tell you how utterly wonderful it is but its fleeting and tbh once the high is over theres no low to climb out of its all a plateau. ill update you on your digital art prog soon i got pretty shitty at it ngl
i love you so much i really do and you dont need anyone else trust me but a genuine word of advice? dont bargain things which are intangible just to get an experience sooner and cheap, the wait always would have been worth it. get it once and in 4k take the vip tickets just for this one thing dont try to take the shortcut- youve never cheated in your life never deceived anyone but please why now do it to yourself youre worth more than any other person thats gonna eventually abandon you in the end. just work hard for it and i promise you will be rewarded. just dont get accustomed to comfort and never rest on your laurels theres literally so much, plenty more to discover
and for the wild you- because ik you are still me and will always take the chip which puts yourself up fo rthe bargain- yeah ig- when you are were i was and in the moment and so present - you wont regret it one bit. so maybe the person i should be writing all this to isnt you- but its me. thats right. you havent got much time and im glad youre gonna priorities your adventure over your stability and peace and its my job to ground this tent back on the stakes. to the me whos gonna open this another few years inteh future- i hope youre proud of me. and i hope life treats you gently and shocks you only in the best manner. ik you deserve it and ik youre gonna work harder than ever and drown in your own sweat whether its seen or not, whether its known or not, whether its appreciated or not.. do it for you, do it for me, do it for the girl i wrote this letter to. do it for the msiunderstood you, the abandoned you, the lonely you, and the you.. that couldnt save her
happy birthday(its not rn but sometime in the past it was and sometime in the future it will be once again)
and do me a favor-pastme- every time you have one of those moments where youre so high you feel any further would take you to space- write it down, write it so that i can read and have something to live for, write it so futureme can also look back fondly. its not always the pain that youve got to capture. dont only use your words to release- but also to remember
titsay
kianamaiart
andulkaphoto
prguitarman
gamechangershow
tangentwithtanner