Be okay with losing people that are okay with losing you.

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@lilithmaze1998
Be okay with losing people that are okay with losing you.
some people would rather be wounded forever than responsible for one honest decision
i need to killl myself but like nonchalantly
nothing feels more adult than missing your old problems because at least you understood them
this girl on tiktok legit haunts me istg she’s soooooooooooo goals :’(
Insp0
oh little bunny ;(
your mind can turn any prison into a home
Pretending to be less mentally unwell than you are is exhausting. I just want 2 go feral, scream cry and kick
i think if i had the option to never have existed i would pick that
🖤👆🏼
I wish I had someone to hold me after it happened. I wish someone cared enough to listen or believe me. I wish my closest friend didn't just say "we all gotta do things we don't wanna do". I wish the few people i told took me seriously and not like another drink teenage girl who had regrets.
I wasn't drunk. I was drugged. My memories didn't come back for a very long time. My memories certainly weren't there when I had consensual sex with him the morning after. Right up until he started hurting me, being rough, making each and every thrust harder, more violent, ignoring my unsexy-actualy-in-pain-"ow"s, ignoring my eyes shutting so hard my eyelids hurt.
And right before I closed my eyes I could see his face. Jaw clenched, eyes wide opened, wide smile, teeth exposed. Animalistic, evil, predatory. How could I say "stop"? How could I say "no"? Who knows what he would've done. He was so much stronger, I couldn't move under his weight. He hsd me pinned down. He had me right where he wanted me.
I had already refused him one thing (the back door), after multiple attempts.
And i paid dearly for saying no. I paid in pain. Because he got annoyed, he got angry. That's why he got rough. It hurt. It really did. But what could I do? This was the price I paid for denying him one singular thing. What would he have done if I tried to defy him more?
I was 17 then, almost 18. It's been 10 years. The fear is still there. It will never go away.
Sylvia Plath, from a letter to Ann Dvidow-Goodman written c. 1950, featured in The Collected Letters
lore update i wanna die
Albert Camus, from a letter to María Casares featured in Correspondance, 1944-1959
Y'all ever get nightmares that are not *that* similar to your trauma but still bring you emotional (and visual) flashbacks throughout the day while you're awake? Because who doesn't wanna relive the worst time of their lives. Am I right?
ughhhhhhh why do I have to be within the tiny percentage of the population who has lived through unspeakable horrors