The first week of school and NPC mode at the grocery store
I go to three different schools during the week. One junior high school (US grades 7,8,9) and 2 elementary schools (US grades 1-6). Two of my schools were recently renovated and it was done by the same company so the interiors are almost exactly the same. This only matters to me, who gets super confused in the middle of the hallway when looking for classrooms or the bathroom. Just yesterday, I walked to what I thought was the bathroom only to find it was a different room because I was thinking of the other school. It makes my brain fully have a moment where it needs to restart like an old computer because I'm usually so tired that I can't take whatever is happening to me anymore at any time. It's really funny though. I used the experience to talk to teachers standing by. My days blend together easily because I go to different schools each day but could have seen the same teachers or students a day or two before. Having speech contest practice after work does ground me back in reality but no matter when it goes until I usually end up home around 5pm.
I hate that I have to bring my own lunch to school. It is so annoying to have to think of meals for lunch when everyone else gets to have school lunch. I'm thinking of sticking it out for a little while and then asking if I can just see the schedule in advance and see what I can and can't eat. Because making lunch is not sustainable for me. It is expensive and I'm always so tired that it takes so much mental work to make myself make a barely passable lunch.
I like being in class so far. I have a hard time remembering what age groups I'm working with because of the different classifications of grade levels, so I try not to judge the English ability. I usually think of it like “If I would have known the Spanish for this at their age, then it's viable for questioning why they don't know it” . Though, it's important to note that it's nearly impossible to gauge because the kids are extremely reluctant to speak. They are good at repeating after me or the teacher. And some classes are comfortable doing pair work outloud or shouting the answer to me but oddly the English level is dependent on the individual class composition, not the grade level. When I walk around the class and look at their papers or worksheets I can see what they understand. The English they write is usually fine, or even good or great. Honestly, the girls and some of the boys have nicer handwriting than native English speakers. They understand the concepts most likely, there's just no surefire way to make them say anything sometimes especially in junior high. Their testing primarily is writing, reading, and listening from what I can see so far but I don't know if there is any speaking component. I don't remember if I was speaking for a test grade in 9th grade Spanish but we were definitely writing dialogues and presenting them in front of the class. I'm sure it's even harder with a native English speaker who they barely know just standing there, but I think they can do more than they let on for the most part. Some kids were even bold enough to ask me questions about their work straight up in class, it was really heartwarming.
The kids also enjoy talking to me about shared interests. I included pictures from my first time in Japan and pictures of the video games I play in the powerpoint I presented to them to give them material to work with. Also, all of the things I own (phone, laptop, water bottle, planner, etc.) are all insanely customized with stickers of things I like and both students and teachers use it to talk to me. There really is no comparable feeling to being in the teachers office and some teacher you just met points to your water bottle and asks "do you like gojo satoru?" Or "where is sannomiya located?" Seriously not everything feels like something else because I was floored both times. But the students, especially the girls, like to talk to me about Genshin or anime and it's super cute. I'm thankful for the Japanese that I do know that makes me able to communicate these likes to them. Plus, in classes where the English level is lower, being able to ask them if they have questions or if I can read the prompts of their English workbooks helps me to help them.
At the beginning of each class, I do the greeting. I ask them how they are doing, the day, the date, and the weather. This is fine but my issue is that it's super confusing to me to ask “what is the day today” to get the day of the week as the answer. I always fumble this because I ask “What day of the week is it?” Especially because the question after that is “ what is the date today or what is today's date?” I feel like the weekday question should not sound so similar. However, no one asked me and I will just have to stumble over it until procedure wins over my natural phrasing.
I also really enjoy being the English language authority in the class. Not in an overbearing way, but like when the teacher doesn't know how to spell a difficult word or the pronunciation of something, or if a sentence is awkward or okay they ask me. I love being asked these things because I have an opinion on everything and it's the one part of my experience here where I'm the authority on something. It is the most familiar role to me in Japan thus far. Back home, I am the oldest, the responsible one, etc etc my judgment is sound and my opinions are respected and sought after. I like being listened to. Here, I'm an NPC at most and a court jester at worst. Also, Japanese social and workplace hierarchy makes it so that very few people's opinions actually matter. I don't mind not being asked about stuff that I clearly don't know anything about (like how a japanese school system functions) but the American in me (my pronouns are USA) wants so clearly to just comment on literally anything.
Switching topics but related in my head, at the grocery store I go full NPC mode for the most part. If I'm there on a weekend it may be different because I have energy, but I like to go after work for the most part. Unfortunately for me, everyone else also likes to go after work. So, the day I went after work for the first time I was treated to the most people staring at me that I've encountered in a while. I don't blame them. It must be odd seeing a nicely dressed foreigner in the middle of their local small town supermarket, but I wake up foreign here every day and I frequent these places often, so it feels worse than if I was a tourist passing through. Though, if they stare because I'm using my phone to google translate literally all of the products they get a pass because that's completely excusable. Like, hey buddy, did you just blow in from stupid town?
I like the grocery store sensory experience and I usually go to the same place so it feels nice to see familiar things and learn where things are. I always find new things like on that trip after work, I found ice pops. I also like to look at all the interesting sweets they have. I was minding my own business staring at the sweets ( and google translating the ingredient lists) and I was thinking about how embarrassing it would be if someone from work or somewhere else saw me shopping. I don't know why I thought this because everyone shops but it was plaguing my thoughts nonetheless. Then I heard a sound of vague recognition, looked up, and saw two teachers from the school I was just at, one of them being an English teacher I just worked half the day with. I was mortified because it felt like the universe read my mind and because I wasn't in work mode. I had already begun to shed my mask of normalcy for the day and was content being nonverbal in the grocery store, so I choked out the weirdest sounding ‘hi’ I've ever said and then had an interaction where I attempted and was mostly successful in trying to sound normal saying hello etc. Don't get me wrong, it was literally just a basic hello/ cool seeing you here and they spoke English to me! I can't even complain! Plus, it's cute to be recognized in the community that I live in. but jesus christ did I have like a horror video game youtuber level jumpscare from my own consciousness manifesting my anxiety fueled thought spiral into the grocery store.
