When was will abusive? Im not defending him I just want to know when
*cracks knuckles* Settle in kids.
-Will repeatedly implies early in their relationship in an episode that JJ does not care about him unless she tells her colleagues about their relationship. She expresses discomfort at this, but he continues to press her, causing strife in their relationship. The canon makes it seem like she is being unreasonable, but in reality this is a huge issue of consent--JJ isn’t ready for her team to know she’s committed. She has her reasons. She works with profilers and is used to them knowing everything about her and not being able to keep any secrets, which gives them a lot of power over her in the field, because at this time she is just a liaison and has not been trained in profiling herself. Will disrespects her choices and is only satisfied when she finally caves.
-Will forces her to out her pregnancy to the team, again before she is ready and without her consent. She is in the middle of a high profile case where they have begun to realize that the city is literally being struck in a series of terror attacks, and Will throws a fit when she refuses to leave and does not want to step down from her job. She does not ask him to leave his own work, but she makes it clear she isn’t willing to give up her career. He ragequits and abandons her there after an argument, essentially forcing her to choose between going after him or continuing to work the case. Again, the canon makes it seem as if JJ is the unreasonable one.
-Will refuses to handle Henry’s febrile seizures alone and demands she come home. Febrile seizures are fairly common in young children, though quite terrifying for the parents obviously, and are generally not dangerous. Will demands she fly through tornado alley to try to get back to DC for a medical issue he should be handling on his own as an independent responsible parent. (Please note that this fandom loves to drag Haley Hotchner, but when Jack had medical problems, she took care of it herself and then notified Hotch afterward; she expressed her disapproval that Hotch had missed the appointment for his work, but she didn’t interrupt his crimefighting to demand his presence.) Yet again--JJ gets painted as a bad mother.
-In the season seven finale, JJ reveals how much this criticism has gotten to her over the years. “I’m a mom first,” she says tearfully about Henry, wholly blaming herself for this, for not making enough sacrifices, when it’s Will’s fault that Henry was placed in danger. (I will always maintain that this entire episode would have been ten times more meaningful if it would’ve been about Hotch and his insecurities surrounding his relationship with Jack rather than focusing on JJ and her relationship with Henry, which she only had reason to doubt because Will and the canon continually told her she was a bad mother for having a job, though the same was never drawn into question about Hotch, even when he became a single parent.)
-Ironically, after years of having issues with JJ’s job, Will directly places himself in harm’s way after promising JJ he won’t do it. He lies to her face and jeopardizes the entire investigation to walk into the bank, causing her immense emotional distress and getting himself harmed in the process. He then makes poor character judgments (not unreasonable, but he shouldn’t have placed himself in this situation in the first place!) and places his son’s life in jeopardy.
-And... as a result, he gets married, though JJ has previously refused to marry him, probably for good reason.
-And I have drawn attention to this before, but I just wanna say it again--this fandom drags Haley Hotchner to the moon and back for “abusing” Hotch, but her character arc and Will’s line up in almost every way. She was unhappy with the way her partner handled raising a family--but unlike Will, rather than continuously harassing her partner, she chose to leave and settled with an amicable divorce. Just like Will, she made a poor character judgment and trusted an unsub believing he was trying to keep her safe--but unlike Will, rather than reuniting with her partner and falling in love again, she got to bleed out on the floor of her own home. Haley Hotchner is a victim of misogyny in the writing, and the only reason Will is romanticized is because he’s a mediocre, average-looking white man with an accent and the canon lens made it seem as if he was in the right every time he manipulated and verbally lambasted his partner on screen.
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