Lil GypsySoul Rambles

I needed somewhere to get it all out. If you enjoy, that's great, if not that's ok, I'm here for me.

[liloldgypsysoul]

Wishes. The broken variety.

I wish you weren't the one I thought of.

I wish you could have been there when I needed you. And I wish you could have seen my need before I was too afraid to ask. I wish you were by my side all those nights that I craved a body beside me, a warmth to get me through the darkness I faced alone. I wish you didn't expect me to ask for you to stay, when I couldn't have asked for any thing at all. I wish I hadn't wished that a pilot could love a cargo girl.

I wish my days didn't brighten all of a sudden when you started interacting with me again. I wish I didn't look forward to meeting you briefly from time to time. I wish you didn't make me smile, and laugh loudly like I do. I wish we didn't have inside stories, inside jokes, bike dog, and Mr. Bunbun, inside togetherness. I wish my phone didn't know what I was thinking when I typed Mr. I wish we didn't have the connection we did. I wish you weren't so easy to talk to, that our conversations didn't flow as easily as they do, that our laughs didn't come as fluidly. I wish I wasn't as open with you.

I wish you didn't know that when I said your beard was fine that I was playing it off. I wish you didn't know that I asked you questions because I appreciated your knowledge, and found it sexy as hell. I wish you couldn't teach me all the things I yearned to learn. I wish you knew I was kidding when I said you weren't as good looking as his son. I wish you knew.

I wish I hated seeing you when I opened the lunch room door. I wish I hated unloading and re-loading your planes. I wish I hated seeing your name in my inbox. I wish I hadn't have given my present back, but I'm glad you kept yours.

I wish I didn't know, just by the way you gazed at me, how much love there still was. And I wish it wasn't so obvious that I felt the same.

[liloldgypsysoul]

"you dropped the "L" bomb. I held it tight to my chest." #ewmpoetry #words #write #writealittle #emotions #letitout #getitout #poetsofinstagram #creative #creativeminds #poet #thelword #theLbomb #pewpew https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt2w8fmAN7-/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=153lg2y0cdyr9

[liloldgypsysoul]

Thank goodness for reminders. ❤️🙏

[liloldgypsysoul]

I didn't realize Instagram linked with Tumblr... Hope I'm not spamming anyone's feed with some back logged work!

[liloldgypsysoul]

being a pessimist with a romantically charged imagination means my inner bitter old lady spends a lot of time scolding my inner moonbeam; "Keep your expectations low, child, for you will always get hurt running away with your imagination." #ewmpoetry #pessimist #romantic #imagination #bitteroldlady #scolding #moombeam #expectations #lowexpectations #dontgethurt #runningaway #poem #poetry #poetsofinstagram #creative #creativeminds #words #write #writealittle #emotions #letitout #getitout https://www.instagram.com/p/BkwpDpLneoR/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=leeypq18rr6

[liloldgypsysoul]

"The sea splashes against my face with force, as the wind howls against me. I hold my ground; my stance reminds me of the early days of standing on city buses, trying desperately not to fall into some smelly stranger's lap. That hard, get-ready-for-a-hip-check wind reminds me of a lot of things, the storms always do. Lot's of things, like how wee I am in this giant sprawling everythingness. How I'm in control of so little, and how I take so much for granted. Most of all, the Storm reminds me to hold my ground." e. w. m. #ewmpoetry #sea #seaspray #splashes #wind #citybuses #hipcheckwind #littleweeme #sprawlingeverythingness #notsoincontrol #holdmyground #poem #poetry #poetsofinstagram #creative #creativeminds #words #write #writealittle #emotions #letitout #getitout #childrenofink https://www.instagram.com/p/BeN4m7elxwd/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=nn84puq4cx5c

[liloldgypsysoul]

"I loved, And I loved, And I lost. So again, I loved And I loved, And I lost. So I stopped." #ewmpoetry #love #lost #juststop #cantanymore #poem #poetry #poet #poetsofinstagram #creative #creativeminds #words #write #writealittle #emotions #letitout #getitout #childrenofink https://www.instagram.com/p/BeNEw-GlEIP/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=p450tne8ib4v

[liloldgypsysoul]

The smell of you On the duvet you left Is fading So much faster Than my love. I wish I could hold onto that smell, and dismiss the memories. #ewmpoetry #smell #lingers #missingyou #itsallivegot #poem #poetry #poetsofinstagram #creative #creativeminds #words #write #writealittle #emotions #letitout #getitout https://www.instagram.com/p/Bs9lrSVh-mi/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=clsnpv7c0klx

[liloldgypsysoul]

And now, when the sun shines,

I barely feel its warmth

through the cold shoulder

you've turned towards me.

E. W. M.

[liloldgypsysoul]

Whiskey Will Do

Whiskey and Percocets numb the pain;

Make the tears stop,

Momentarily.

But how long can I hide behind this fuzzy veil?

E. W. M.

[liloldgypsysoul]

Untitled

And I'm left waiting here,

On this half written page.

Jumbled thoughts fill the seams,

Doodles and scribbles in place of meaning.

No punctuation,

Just missing words, and

Bad grammar.

Tripping over X-ed out endings,

Slipping into teardrop pools in the page,

Crawling through a jungle of unsaid words.

Sentences caught in voice boxes,

Heavy sighs worth more in weight than gold.

You were meant to be more of my story,

My atoms shook when they came across you.

There was a path for us to take,

Just beyond where our life-clouded eyes could see.

A path with fresh smells, and bright skies,

With light hearts, and easy laughs.

But the gloom took over,

The broken bits bounced from one to the other,

Accepted, but not understood.

Noted, but never discovered.

Our own novels putting pause to the new read ahead of us.

Now the press has been stopped,

No printers,

No ink,

No continuation.

No author standing back admiring his work,

Not shaking his head in disparity.

No, now there's me,

Left on this unfilled page,

Waiting for my protagonist

To remember he's got a story to finish.

E. W. M.

[liloldgypsysoul]

Don't get caught in the traps of people's words. Learn what you mean to them by their actions. Read deeper. Pay attention to how they make you feel.

[liloldgypsysoul]

Wrote this yesterday, after realizing I'm not having anymore of it.

#dontuseme #dontabuseme #takemeforgranted #andloseme

[liloldgypsysoul]

You say we're like the titanic, headed towards the iceburg at the end of everything.

I laugh, because I know you want me to.

It rips me in two.