💕 how to tell loved ones about your regression! 💕
being a secret regressor can be pretty difficult!! especially if your family doesn’t give you personal space to regress, or if you’re unable to get regression gear to help you regress because of said family! and sometimes just telling them may be easier so you no longer have to hide it!! but first, i’d like to say that you DO NOT NEED TO TELL THEM!! it’s your business, and completely your choice!! your regression is 100% valid even if no one knows about it!! and if you don’t think it’s safe to tell them, then don’t!! your safety matters more!!
so, before you tell your loved ones about your regression, it’s a good idea to think about why you want to tell them, if it’s safe for you to tell them, and how telling them will affect you. after giving these things some thought, you can then consider these ways of explaining it to your loved ones!
• have a friend or partner explain
• sit down in a comfortable environment, and tell them face-to-face
• tell them over a phone call
• send them an informational website link or social media post (be sure to read it before sending it so that it accurately describes what agere is to you!!)
some things you might want to mention to them:
• how it helps/has helped you
• what agere is not. (e.g., agere is NOT k!nk, etc.)
• when you first started regressing
starting the conversation:
(whether it’s over text, in person, through letter, etc!)
• you could pretend to not know much about it to hear their opinion. like, “hey, have you ever heard of age regression?” , “i just found out about this coping mechanism recently, and i’m thinking i might want to try it..” ,or “what do you think about age regression?”.
• if you haven’t been doing well recently, you could start off by explaining one of the “big things that has been helping you cope” (age regression). you could say something along the lines of “yeah, it’s been rough lately, but i’ve actually found an incredibly helpful coping mechanism…”
• be honest and open with them. you could start off with: “to be completely honest with you, i feel embarrassed talking about this…”, “talking about this topic is hard because i’m afraid…” , “this conversation is difficult for me because (xyz), but i want to tell you anyway.”
• you could also be very forward, and straight to the point with them, if that’s what you want to do. you can say something like: “i wanted to tell you i am an age regressor. (then go on to explain it)” , “i’ve been using a coping mechanism called age regression.” (explain, or clear up any misconceptions).
speaking of misconceptions, here are the most common ones you’ll probably want to clear up:
• age regression is NOT sexual in any way
• age regression is for everyone
• age regression is NOT the same as ddlg/abdl/etc
• age regression doesn’t mean you’re regressed 24/7
• the relationship between a caregiver and an age regressor is NOT a power exchange.
questions you should be prepared to answer:
the person you’re telling may have some questions for you! i found that these were some pretty common ones you might want to keep in mind!
• “where did you learn about age regression?”
• “how is it different from ddlg/abdl/etc?”
• “is age regression safe?”
• “should i treat you any differently?”
• “when did you first realize you started regressing?”
• “is this something i can tell other people?”
• “how can i treat this topic respectfully when speaking with you about it?”
(big thanks to a couple of my close non-agere friends who helped me come up with these questions!!)
“what if they react badly?”
if the person you’re telling has a bad reaction, that is not your fault! i’d say the best thing you can do is not to get upset with them! but instead try to educate them when you can. don’t forget that it’s your coping mechanism, and it’s there to help you.
i rlly hope this helps anyone who is thinking about telling their friends/family/etc about their regression!! remember that even if no one knows about it, your regression IS VALID!!!
