Virginia Woolf, from The Waves
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ā
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@lilytcyip
Virginia Woolf, from The Waves
Anytime youāre gonna grow, youāre gonna lose something. Youāre losing what youāre hanging onto to keep safe. Youāre losing habits that youāre comfortable with, youāre losing familiarity.
James Hillman
I hadn't spend a day without thinking of you.
MY MISTER (2018)
F. Scott Fitzgerald, the beautiful and damned (1934)
Sometimes, I cry so hard I can feel it in my ribs. / I feel like the real me is backed into a corner inside me
ā Ama Asantewa Diaka, from "Saturday Evening WhatsApp Message," Woman, Eat Me Whole
Virginia Woolf,Ā A Room of Oneās Own [originally published 1929]
May 20, 1929 Journals of Anais Nin 1927-1931 Ā [volume 4]
Virginia Woolf, from The Waves
āHave you ever just looked at someone while theyāre doing something small like driving or laughing and just smile bc u like them so much.ā
ā Unknown
Richard Siken
Peopleās opinions of us will always change, but how we see ourselves will stay with us forever.
Ralph Smart (via perfectquote)
June 9, 2023
my last post on here was 2019, like 3 and a half years ago. a lot of things have happened in the last couple years for sure. i got into a relationship, learned, matured, and left a relationship. i finished my undergrad, co-op, got my masterās, applied to grad school, didnāt get in, and now im here. oh and i moved into our dream house and annie also married. ive met so many people along the way and im glad and proud of how much ive achieved in the last couple years. today, i want to focus on my feelings and my emotions moving forward, particularly my career. my love life and family problems can be saved for another day LOL
im feeling lost, anxious, scared, and worried because i dont know what the future will be like. there are a lot of uncertainties. despite this, i know everything will be okay and that eventually i will get to where i want to be in life. while talking about life with aleung and fsyal yesterday, i realized that i resisted being introspective in a while and iāve become the person that i didnāt want to be as a teenager. in high school, i rmb being reflective and more at peace with myself, eventho i was less accomplished. i guess this goes to show that beingĀ āsuccessful and accomplishedā doesnāt always bring peace. while iāve matured and grown into a more experienced person, im also realizing that ive become scared of being vulnerable with my feelings and my thoughts. i rmb thinking that adults werenāt deep and that they donāt really ponder their life and just go wherever life takes time. ive become one of those adults. itās not that adults donāt know how to think deep or that they donāt have time, theyāre just scared. but i know that this is not who i want to be. i want to be true and to be connected with my inner thoughts and feelings, and this starts with journalling on here today.Ā
in the podcast Spiralling Higher, they talked about finding peace first, and then whatever youāre looking for in life will fall into place. that people believe that they can only be at peace once theyāve achieved everything they want in life. and this definitely reflects my thinking pattern. the guest actually asked the question iāve been asking myself: what if people are afraid of losing their motivation after being at peace. gina said thatĀ āwell, i would ask that your approach so far has not been working out, so why not try something new?ā this really resonated with me. i feel like i lost myĀ ārigourā after mm, but have i been really nat peace? the uncertainty of the future has been looming over me and its smth that i think about constantly, even when i was travelling. im not sure where this feeling is coming from, but somehow, i believe that everything will work out and that i will be where i want to be one day. one day, it will. iām actually grateful that i have the opportunity to feel uneasy, to take my time to work towards my goals. if i didnāt have a supportive family, i wouldāve settled for a corporate job and just worked a 9-5 for the rest of my life. iām glad that i still have the chance to pursue smth that i find fulfilling and meaningful. in the grand scheme of things, 25 is really not that old. youve only been adulting for a couple years, thereās room for errors and growth, and that everything will fall into the right place. learn to be okay with being independen, being okay with uncertainty, and take it one step and one breath at a time. everything will be okay.Ā