one day, it will

lilyyip|vancity|december28|tvb| kenneth&tavia|alfredhui| jjlin|@kiimberlydaoo|@whenthestars-align|@missycao|@brightl1ghts|  %

[flowerytale]

Virginia Woolf, from The Waves

[quotemadness]

Anytime you’re gonna grow, you’re gonna lose something. You’re losing what you’re hanging onto to keep safe. You’re losing habits that you’re comfortable with, you’re losing familiarity.

James Hillman

[dumblr]

I hadn't spend a day without thinking of you.

[anna--ahha]

[candlewinds]

MY MISTER (2018)

[remanence-of-love]

[petaltexturedskies]

F. Scott Fitzgerald, the beautiful and damned (1934)

[lifeinpoetry]

Sometimes, I cry so hard I can feel it in my ribs. / I feel like the real me is backed into a corner inside me

— Ama Asantewa Diaka, from "Saturday Evening WhatsApp Message," Woman, Eat Me Whole

[milkvpinkv-deactivated20230810]

[shisasan]

Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own [originally published 1929]

[shisasan]

May 20, 1929 Journals of Anais Nin 1927-1931  [volume 4]

[flowerytale]

Virginia Woolf, from The Waves

[dikotur]

[perfectquote]

“Have you ever just looked at someone while they’re doing something small like driving or laughing and just smile bc u like them so much.”

— Unknown

[deviika]

Richard Siken

[perfectquote]

People’s opinions of us will always change, but how we see ourselves will stay with us forever.

Ralph Smart (via perfectquote)

[lilytcyip]

June 9, 2023

my last post on here was 2019, like 3 and a half years ago. a lot of things have happened in the last couple years for sure. i got into a relationship, learned, matured, and left a relationship. i finished my undergrad, co-op, got my master’s, applied to grad school, didn’t get in, and now im here. oh and i moved into our dream house and annie also married. ive met so many people along the way and im glad and proud of how much ive achieved in the last couple years. today, i want to focus on my feelings and my emotions moving forward, particularly my career. my love life and family problems can be saved for another day LOL

im feeling lost, anxious, scared, and worried because i dont know what the future will be like. there are a lot of uncertainties. despite this, i know everything will be okay and that eventually i will get to where i want to be in life. while talking about life with aleung and fsyal yesterday, i realized that i resisted being introspective in a while and i’ve become the person that i didn’t want to be as a teenager. in high school, i rmb being reflective and more at peace with myself, eventho i was less accomplished. i guess this goes to show that being ‘successful and accomplished’ doesn’t always bring peace. while i’ve matured and grown into a more experienced person, im also realizing that ive become scared of being vulnerable with my feelings and my thoughts. i rmb thinking that adults weren’t deep and that they don’t really ponder their life and just go wherever life takes time. ive become one of those adults. it’s not that adults don’t know how to think deep or that they don’t have time, they’re just scared. but i know that this is not who i want to be. i want to be true and to be connected with my inner thoughts and feelings, and this starts with journalling on here today. 

in the podcast Spiralling Higher, they talked about finding peace first, and then whatever you’re looking for in life will fall into place. that people believe that they can only be at peace once they’ve achieved everything they want in life. and this definitely reflects my thinking pattern. the guest actually asked the question i’ve been asking myself: what if people are afraid of losing their motivation after being at peace. gina said that “well, i would ask that your approach so far has not been working out, so why not try something new?” this really resonated with me. i feel like i lost my ‘rigour’ after mm, but have i been really nat peace? the uncertainty of the future has been looming over me and its smth that i think about constantly, even when i was travelling. im not sure where this feeling is coming from, but somehow, i believe that everything will work out and that i will be where i want to be one day. one day, it will. i’m actually grateful that i have the opportunity to feel uneasy, to take my time to work towards my goals. if i didn’t have a supportive family, i would’ve settled for a corporate job and just worked a 9-5 for the rest of my life. i’m glad that i still have the chance to pursue smth that i find fulfilling and meaningful. in the grand scheme of things, 25 is really not that old. youve only been adulting for a couple years, there’s room for errors and growth, and that everything will fall into the right place. learn to be okay with being independen, being okay with uncertainty, and take it one step and one breath at a time. everything will be okay.