The Stick of Truth. Our group for anime expo 2018. It was 104f, we suffered. Elf King Kyle: Me Princess Kenny: @townycod13 Ranger Stan: @ pastryfuger Wizard Cartman: an unknown fucker Photographer: @ cswongphoto All weapons and Kyle and Cartman's outfits made by me.
Kenny can and will kick your weak ass into a pulp in a dress, high heels, hair down and make up done, all with out breaking a sweat. If you think short and or feminine Kenny is only a soft boy (girl/person) who can not handle anything, like a doll, that's fine. How ever, dont you dare fucking tell others they can't think the opposite. Kenny is a fucking bad ass in dress or not. Anyway short people are scary man, short Kenny no exception, because short people are closer to the molten core of the earth thus can draw upon that power at will. Short people are honestly terrifying.
You can pry Mysterion fanboy Kyle from my cold dead hands. I got my Kyle wig in and I had to take this opportunity. Sorry bout the lighting. The body pillow is @townycod13 !!!
Kyle graduates high school and goes to a big school on the west coast (USC). Fucks out of south park as fast as he can, not really keeping in contact with anyone but his family. Him and Stan don't talk after the weird downward spiral of their friendship after Kyle came out as gay/queer in sophomore year and Stan had a hard time with his own sexuality and took it out on Kyle. Kyle cut Cartman out because he was so toxic in his life.
Kenny disappeared in junior year of highschool. They were written off as missing and the police did not look very hard or much for poor white trash kids like Kenny.
Kenny actually landed a once in a 100000 lifetime opportunity to be a gender neutral model for a very famous fashion designer. Kenny came out at gender fluid in middle school, surprising no one because at the age of 8 they were either a very masculine super hero or a very feminine princess. Kenny was considered very attractive to all kids in Southpark but because their family background they hardly were recognized.
So at the age of 17 Kenny under an alias and a complete new makeover, had their first modeling debut in New York fashion week. Suddenly the mysterious K was the new hot model. K was highly sought after for all gender clothing and shoots. K had a seductive Allure that any female would be jealous of, and the lean yet roguish looks most males wanted.
Kenny took most of the money they made into a savings account to get Karen out of south park as soon as possible. No one knew that “K” was Kenny, no one but Karen.
It wasn't until Kenny had officially moved to LA, that they ran into Kyle by accident at a local starbucks late at night when most people were sleeping. Kyle was studying for a huge chem test he had and when he saw Kenny he thought he was hallucinating from all the stress, caffeine, and lack of sleep.
Kenny saw Kyle and instead of pretending they were not the Kenny he knew, actually went over and sat next to him. Kyle was like Kennys best friend, after the whole Stan fallout the two were inseparable, queers stuck together. Kenny looking back should have at least let Kyle know about their new job and not just left him in the dark. Kyle was too stressed to deal with Kenny at that moment, so he stole Kenny’s phone put his number in it called his own phone so he now had Kenny’s number. Kyle told Kenny he would call them after the test and they were going to sit down at someone's place and fucking talk.
Two days later Kenny gets a call from Kyle, they decide to met at Kenny's place because well Kyle lives in the dorms and even if Kenny can disguise themselves, they are still a super fucking famous model.
Kyle is in awe of everything Kenny has, a very nice and well guarded apartment, expensive furniture, a well stocked kitchen, more than one set of clothes. It's obvious Kenny is making the big bucks, and Kyle couldn't be prouder. He tells Kenny exactly that, says he doesn't understand why Kenny left him in the dark, doesn't quite understand exactly what Kenny is doing, but he is nonetheless proud of Kenny for getting out of south park. He is proud that Kenny defied his fate to be poor white trash and fucking made it.
Kenny apologies for not telling Kyle, they were just so scared that it was not going to work out, that they would not make it. It was a huge shot in the dark, and it luckily hit. By the time Kenny felt like they had some control back in their life from the whirlwind that was the fashion and modeling industry, it was already too late for Kenny to contact Kyle.
So Kenny confides in Kyle that they are in fact the very famous model K. Kyle laughs and loves it. Only Kenny could do something as ridiculous and risky as running away to be a gendernutral model and actually make it big.
They catch up. Kyle informs Kenny about getting into USC and how most people thought he would go to a back east school and how pleased he was to prove them wrong. Why would gay(or pan? Bi? Kyle still had no idea what to call himself, if he liked someone he liked them, more often than not it was male) Kyle go somewhere not too gay friendly, when he could go to very gay friendly California. Kenny retold crazy modeling stories, how they had to get makeup and clothing changed in 10 mins from very heavy female to very heavy masculine and how everyone around them were freaking out trying to get everything perfect in 10 mins.
It was good. It was like regaining back that friendship.
Over the next few months they kept in close touch, talking or txting deep into the nights or very early mornings. Kenny would rant about jet lag and crazy designers and bitchy co-models and Kyle would rant about professors and dumb students in the dorms.
Kyle never told a soul about Kenny being alive or that they were a famous model.
The semester was coming to a close and Kyle was starting the week before finals stress. His parents wanted him to come home for the summer, as such he didn't have a place to stay in LA for the summer as they didn't pay for summer dorms. Kyle wanted to take a summer class or well stay in LA he did not want to go home to south park. He didn't have friends and the town was full of people he really didn't want to see. Kenny offered Kyle to stay with him for summer, his apartment was not that far from campus if Kyle wanted to take a summer class. And he wouldn't have to go back to south park, plus the added bonus of watching over kenny's place for when they were gone on trips. Kyle loved the idea, and informed his parents that he was staying in LA with a friend. They didn't take it well but Kyle was 20, he was about to be a junior in college, fuck his parents.
Kenny had a spare bedroom that became Kyle's, even tho the original purpose was for Karen, she was too busy at her school to visit much and Kenny more often than not saw her on busnesstrips anyway.
Kyle from a young age had always found Kenny extremely attractive, no matter what gender they presented, Kenny was attractive. Now all cleaned up in clothes their former self would only dream of owning, Kenny shined. Not only in physical physique but their personality was no longer hidden behind layers of protective barriers. Kenny was meticulous and relaxed, they loved to joke and flirt, and could read situations well. They had become more bold in things they wanted and confident that they could get things. Kenny wasn't one to get angered easily, sure they would get annoyed with things but didn't let that bother them for long. They didn't hold grudges and only wanted the best for those closest to them.
They shined so bright and Kyle couldn't look away.
It wasn't until somewhere around the middle of summer, where Kyle realised he loved Kenny. Not liked or was crushing, full on loved. Somewhere his platonic love for Kenny had shifted to romantic. Kenny was cooking dinner, full force rocking out to a pop song blasting on the radio using the wooden spoon as a pretend mic 100% unaware of Kyle. Kyle was leaning against the door frame of the kitchen watching Kenny go at it and thought “ I love this person so much”. It took a second for Kyle to realise what he was really thinking and another minute to process that he was in fact, in love with his best friend he had known since childhood.
Kenny noticed the subtle shift in Kyle right way. He would pull away from physical touch, he could barely hold eye contact, anytime Kenny said anything complementary Kyle would kinda stop working and need a few seconds to reboot.
To say Kenny had known Kyle had liked him for while was an understatement. Kenny knew exactly when Kyle had started finding them attractive, knew apparently way before Kyle had even figured it out himself. To say that Kenny was waiting for Kyle to figure out he liked them, was also an understatement. Kyle the smartest person Kenny knew, was way too fucking oblivious to anything romantic that involved him.
So Kenny knew exactly when Kyle realised he liked Kenny. They waited, they let him have time to process and see what Kyle would do. If Kyle didn't make a move soon, Kenny would.
A week after Kyle discovered his feelings, he confessed. It wasn't anything big or grand, it wasn't planned out, clearly. Kenny was in their room packing for a work trip out of the country when Kyle walked in, sat down next to kenny's suitcase in the bed. And info dumped his feelings. It was a jumbled mess of thoughts and Kenny couldn't help but think that Kyle was so fucking cute when he info dumped. Kenny shut him up with a kiss, that lead to another, then another, and Kenny last min packing in the morning before their flight because Kyle kept them preoccupied that night.
When the new semester started it was really hard for Kyle to move back into the dorms, and more often than not he found himself spending most nights at Kennys. There were rumors spreading that K had a mysterious hidden lover, they never confirmed nor denied the rumors. By the time Hanukkah rolled around Kyle had informed his family that he was dating someone gendernutral, and even if it was little hard on his parents they still accepted their son.
So when junior year ended and Kyle had one more year left, it was no surprise that Kyle moved in with Kenny fulltime. They didn't argue much, got along way to well Kyle would get worked up about something and Kenny would calm him down. Kenny would forget to take care of themselves and Kyle would remind them too. K and Kenny were the same person, everyone around them knew Kenny as K, the only one allowed to continue to call them Kenny was Kyle. Kyle brought it up a few times but Kenny loved when he called them Kenny or ken, it was a pet name of sorts only Kyle was privileged to say. Kyle asked if they wanted their relationship public, because the media was already finding hints that K was taken but no idea who it was, they were getting bolder trying to find out who the lover was. Kenny said they wanted to keep their relationship out of media until Kyle was done with his degree, and if Kyle wanted a higher degree than a bachelors he would have to deal with the media then, but not before then.
Kyle's whole family showed up to watch Kyle walk to get his degree. It was USC, there was famous people there to watch their own children graduate, or watch a coworkers child, some graduates were famous themselves. So the media being there was not too surprising they were focused on the other famous people. Kyle walked, shook hands with all the official people congratulating him got a for show degree and waited for the many others after him to do the exact same. And after the hours passed and he was final free, Kyle somehow found his family in the sea of graduates and their family's. His mother was a wreck of emotions as her “little buby” was all grown up now pulling him in for a very tight and wet hug, his dad pat him on the shoulder and Ike just smirked (he got let out of class a week early for this) but was still congratulatory toward him. As they stood there Kyle's mother taking pictures of Kyle with the family, the people around them started to turn, voices hushed and the media followed. Walking toward them beaming ear to ear was K in all their glory. Wearing something that looked like they had just walked off the runway in it, kyle suspected they might have done just that. K greeted Kyle with a kiss and a another one for graduating. The media was having a field day and Kyle's family was shocked. They knew Kyle was dating someone gendernutral, they didn't think Kyle was dating the most famous gendernutral person of their times, and they had no idea that it was just kenny.
It spread like wildfire, K was dating some genus guy who just graduated USC. When south park found out they thought it was a joke, Kyle their Kyle was dating someone so perfect and beautiful as K? K was 10000 miles out of Kyle's League.
But they were proved wrong when Kyle showed up as K’s +1 to every event they were invited to. Kyle was seen in the crowds watching K on the runways at fashion weeks, and Kyle was there on the red carpet with them.
K was interviewed one day, a sparkly new ring on their left hand. The interviewer asking K how they met Kyle and so on about their relationship. K just grinned and said “I have known Kyle most of my life and loved him for almost just as long, the guy was just too much of an idiot to realise his feelings for a long time. And I know you're itching to ask me who proposed to who, and it was me. Kyle was too slow in asking me, he had a ring and everything for me but I was a few days ahead.”
Neither Kyle or Kenny needed to return to south park to prove they had escaped and thrived. They didn't need too, their relationship and life together was enough of a middle finger to the fucked up town of south park. They were happy together, thriving together, in love together, that's all they needed.
Alternatively: Kenny and Kyle are each other's tinder date gone wrong because they both lied on their profiles. Shenanigans ensue and they somehow both end up having an amazing time :D
I could see this going so many ways but I think the best one would be if Kenny's profile was female and he showed up as male to the date. And Kyle's actually pretty gay but was trying to see if he was also attracted to girls as much. So when they met it's like oh I'm kinda actually a dude sorry and I'm actually gay. But it works out in the end because they get along well. Or the whole "hey I saw your date didn t show up and mine didn't either so like want to eat dinner and pretend we were each other's date?"
Kenny is working full time as a housekeeper. Kyle is an actual wreck lawyer who is perfect at work and totally good outwardly but inwardly he can't clean his apartment and it is slowly destroying his sanity. He ends up caving and just hiring Kenny but now he's crushing on his housekeeper and he feels guilty and won't act on it because power dynamic but also rlly wants to sweep him off his feet. Meanwhile Ken is totally crushing too but he figures lawyer dude wouldn't want him. Still flirts tho
Oh man the power dynamics. The struggle not to be that guy for Kyle must be awefull even more so if kenny is flirting. I bet some days Kenny is in the stereotypical female made outfit and some days in like a more water down buttler outfit. It all just confuses Kyle but he is attracted to it non the less.
100% biased off a real event that happened to me in college. That is so K2 and ridiculous I had to tell it.
So Kyle and Kenny shared an apartment in college, it was a block away from the campus and was like just outside downtown. It was on the 2nd floor with 2 bedrooms and one bath, a old but working galley kitchen and a decent sized living room. Kyle and Kenny had been dating since freshman year, it was junior year now, right after midterms and they had just found out Stan, who was trying to transfer schools, got accepted. Now Stan had been on and off dating Wendy for a while and was currently in an off. Stan 100% claimed to be straight, but Kyle and Kenny doubted it. So in horror of midterms ending and Stan transferring, the boys all decided they should go out clubbing on Saturday.
It was Saturday morning when Kyle and Kenny got groceries and alcohol and they also got a very large watermelon. The plan was for Stan to come over at like 7pm they to preparty there and then Kyle the DD of the night would drive them to the club. Kyle after recently having the nastiest hangover a few weekends ago decided he really wasn't down to drink at all and was there for moral support.
So at 7pm Stan comes in already starting to pregame without Kenny and starts to complain how much he misses Wendy. Kenny shuts him up real good with a few well timed shots however at one point Stan got so hearted thinking about her, he punched the watermelon on the counter. Kyle was pissed, if Stan broke their watermelon he was going to buy them 3 new ones, however the watermelon was fine. There were no cracks, cuts, nothing, it was still as good as new, though Stan still said he would buy the boys another one. So an hour later and buzzed as fuck, Kyle drives them to the club.
At the club, the music was blasting and girls and guys all getting drunk and basically having clothed sex on the dance floor. Stan and Kenny b-lined to the bar and with Kennys suduction powers was able to get them free drinks.
Stan met up with a few of their other friends and at some point Kyle and Kenny left to dance for a bit, knowing Stan was not alone. Time passes and the two really don't know how much time has passed, they kinda lost track of time on the dance floor and kinda spent a good while making out by the bathrooms. When they return to the bar they see Stan. Straight as an arrow, heterosexual Stan, buying drinks for not girls but all the guys near him. He is waisted and hanging off guys telling them how cute they are and buying them drinks and just going full fucking gay on these men.
Kyle and Kenny are losing it when they go to talk to Stan about what he is doing, Stan yells at them and they decide to go back to the dance floor and let Stan well be Stan.
They dance till it's almost closing just before 2am and while Kenny is outside the club puking his guts out in the bushes , Kyle is looking for Stan to take him home. After about ten minutes of no luck finding Stan and Kenny still losing his stomach. Kyle says fuck it and takes Kenny back home. Where Kenny, drunk as fuck, tells Kyle he can't park for shit and that he could back into their parking space better than Kyle can right now. Kyle just tells "drunky" to go upstairs. So as soon as the car is parked, Kenny forgets all about his statement about parking and runs as fast as he could up the stairs into their apartment leaving the front door wide open, books it to the bathroom and proceeds to continue to puke in the toilet.
Now Kyle having to take care of his drunk as fuck boyfriend, decides to leave him alone to take care of himself for about 10 minutes as he cleans up the mess in the kitchen from the prepartying. So 10 minutes later Kyle goes into the bathroom to find a drunk passed out Kenny on the floor laying in a puddle of puke he threw up missing the toilet. Disgusted and regretting dating the boy, Kyle strips in down to nothing quickly washes him off in the shower and sets him in his bed on his side so not to drown in his own puke is he throws up again, with a glass of water and so aspirin for when he wakes up on the side table. Kyle then cleans the bathroom, takes his own shower and goes to bed exhausted having to take care of his drunk boyfriend.
It's 7am on Sunday now Kyle is violently shaken awake by Kenny asking if they fucked and also how the fuck he got in bed because he remembers Stan at the bar and not much else after that. Kyle explains what happened and Kenny decides to make breakfast for them as a thanks for Kyle taking care of him.
It's about 9am, the watermelon is still chilling on the counter all good and stuff, Kyle and Kenny have just finished eating when Stan busts in their apartment. His hair is a mess, he looks like death and he is missing his shoes. They ask him where the hell did he go last night and feed him. So as Stan is eating he tells them he doesn't really remember that happened at the club at all but he vaguely remembers trying kicked out of the club after it closed, getting into a fight with the bouncer and passing out on the grass outside the club. He then goes to tell them he woke up at like 7am to find a homeless man running off with his shoes, phone, and watch but not his wallet. So Stan decided to walk all the way to Kenny and Kyle s place and not his own, and his place is closer to the club.
Stan then asks what happend at the club because he can't remember, and they tell him he was hitting on all the dudes and buying them drinks. Stan gets extremely pissed off and says he couldn't have because be is straight. After some arguing Kyle kicks Stan out telling him to go home and sleep. The rest of the day is just Kenny nursing his hangover and Kyle doing schoolwork. They decide they are going to eat the watermelon tomorrow after classes.
So Monday after Kyle's last class ended at 2pm, Kyle came home and realized something smelt fucking awful. He went into the kitchen and it smelt like rancid meat and puke. So Kyle emptied the trash thinking the smell was coming from there and when he returned it still was there. He checked everywhere in the kitchen and nothing was the source. Kyle thought maybe a rat had died in the wall or something. He decided to wait till Kenny got home in 2 hours to decide what to do. So 2 hours later Kenny comes home and yells at Kyle to come to the kitchen asap. Over the 2 hours the smell had gotten worse, it was overwhelmingly nasty on every level of nasty. Kenny was pointing to the watermelon.
There was a small crack no longer than an inch in the watermelons side and from it was coming them smell. As the two got closet the watermelon started hissing, full on angry as can be cat hissing at them, the closer they got the more it hissed. Then when they were near it fluid that smells worse than anything the two had ever smelt started to drip out of the crack. The two didn't know what to do, their watermelon was fucking hissing and spitting at them. They decided to put it in a trash bag and throw it out, but as soon as they brought the bag close to it, the watermelon got angrier and started to projectile shoot the rotten meat smelling liquid out from the crack. They quickly put it in the bag and took it to the trash bin outside. There they dropped it on the ground as it hissed more furiously than ever. It rolled out of the bag and exploded. What looked like , pureed watermelon guts covered everything around the broken pieces of rine scattered around the bin. The rotten smell was everywhere.
Kyle and Kenny just looked at what was their perfectly good watermelon in “what the fuck”. How did their watermelon get what looked like possessed by a demon or pissed of spirit. And they realized Stan punched the watermelon when he was mad at Wendy, he must have put some mad thing into their watermelon. Stan owed them 3 new watermelons. He never bought them any watermelons.
So Kyle is having a hard time with his sexuality and doesn't know who to turn to, Stan is straight with Wendy, Cartman is an asshole and anyone else is mostly straight but Tweek/Craig but Kyle isn't gona ask them. So he asks Kenny. Kenny has tons of rumors surrounding him that he is like a man whore who will sleep with anyone no matter the gender. Kenny is kyle's friend and has experience.
Unknown to basically everyone all the rumors are false and Kenny is still as inexperienced as Kyle.
So Kyle asks Kenny for help figuring out is he is attracted to guys or not. Kenny is surprised but agrees, he has a persona of experienced to keep up.
They end up in Kyle's room after school under the guise of "studying". And after a lot of awkward talk and fumbling, mostly on Kyle's part. They end up lightly kissing. Kenny who is freaking out inside but loving it, asks Kyle of that was enough to judge. Kyle is a blushing mess says he still doesn't know and maybe they should keep kissing.
They end up making out for a good while before Kyle is like either you are best kisser in town and this is too unfair for me to judge, or I really like kissing you and I'm at least attracted to men.
Kenny plays along that he is just that good but they could keep going because he is having a great time and Kyle playfully smacks him but pulls him in for more.
When it's time for Kenny to go home, Kyle thanks him and if it wasn't for Kenny's experience it probably wouldn't have gone so well. Kenny just shakes his head and tells Kyle he has as much experience or less than Kyle has, he just must be a natural kisser and oh by the way is really single so want to go to dinner some time?
High school au where Kyle has drifted away from his old crew in elementary school and is more friends with the nerdy kids. He still talks to Stan and Kenny every now and then but like way way less and he even sits with the other smart kids at lunch.
Kyle has given 0 effort to look good and is that slight fashion disaster nerd kid.
He is kinda frustrated how everyone at school seems to ignore him in the dating pool. So after taking a week trip to visit his cousin Kyle in New York, who puberty has graced with great fashion sense and looks, he gets his shit together and starts to care about his clothing and how to "clean up".
Kyle basically did a "what not to wear" on him, they went clothes shopping, got Kyle a whole new haircut and told him what was fashionable.
So the first day back, people stopped and stared in the hallway confused if this was a new kid or if Kyle really got his shit together because wow has no one noticed how attractive Kyle is.
It took a week of new fashionable Kyle for him to start having people send him love letters in his locker and girls to start flirting with him openly.
It even got his old crew to start trying to hang out with him again and his popularity rose fast.
All but Kenny, who seemed to take one long look at Kyle wide eyed and then avoid him like the plague.
Kyle was starting to get concerned because he and stan seem to be on better terms, he has a date with one of the pretty girls in school who didn't even look his way before. Kyle is still the same rambling nerd, why is Kenny avoiding him now?
Kenny, took one look at Kyle all cleaned up and realized he was really attracted to Kyle and he now stood no chance with him now. Kenny had always had a low key crush on Kyle but Kyle was always out of his League. Kyle was always smarter than him, better at basketball (but Kyle stopped after he had to choose school or sport), always had the potential to get out of this fucked up town and go great things with his life, and Kyle was always romantically attracted to girls.
Kenny always stood no chance with Kyle but at least he could go through high school looking at Kyle studying in his lame clothes looking cute in his dumb green hat and dumb unfashionable clothes. But now Kyle had cleaned up and Kenny was not the only one noticing Kyle, now the whole school had eyes on him.
Kenny had decided he needed to not see Kyle for a while and hope his crush really goes away so he doesn't have to pine hard for his friend as he watches him date the popular pretty girls.
But of course Kenny couldn't avoid Kyle once Kyle decided Kenny couldn't run from him.
Kyle tracked Kenny down and forced him to say why he was avoiding Kyle and Kenny made some bullshit excuse that he was just dealing with a lot and Kyle is popular now and doesn't need to hang with him. Kyle slaps Kenny and says Kenny is a fucking idiot, and just because he cleaned up and Kenny is still poor doesn't mean he doesn't want to be friends with him. So Kyle decided that he is going to spend a few hours every week with Kenny tutoring him to help with his grades and spend some time with him.
Kenny is fucked now.
So Kyle started to , tutor Kenny and feel like he was gaining his friend back. They played video games after school work and hung out like old times. Kyle thought things were going great, his transformation made him popular, got him a girlfriend, he was still doing well in school but something now felt off.
He wasn't hanging out with his nerd friends as much, he was having to spend more times with his girlfriend and less time being well him. The only time he felt good was when he was hanging out and tutoring Kenny. With Kenny he could still be a nerd, he didn't feel the pressure of keeping his image up, he didn't feel fake. With Kenny things were good.
Weeks past and Kenny and Kyle were as close as stan and Kyle used to be but Kenny still avoided Kyle making some excuse up whenever Kyle was with his girlfriend.
Kenny was still hopelessly pining for Kyle, having decided he would never get a chance but here he is now Kyle's best friend again. He would still get jealous of Kyle's girlfriend and made excuses when ever they were together. Kenny was happy for Kyle but he didn't need to see Kyle happy with with someone else.
So when Kyle got sick of Kenny avoiding him again, he got frustrated and cornered Kenny and demanded to know what was wrong. What did he girlfriend do to Kenny, why did Kenny avoid him with her.
And Kenny frustrated with everything and years of crushing built up, told Kyle he didn't like seeing him dating someone because he like Kyle and he wanted to be that person. He avoided him because Kyle was straight and it hurt Kenny to watch him be happy with with someone and know that Kenny could never be like that.
Kyle was stunned, Kenny liked him, had liked him even before he got his fashion sense. Now Kenny avoiding him made sense, and Kyle was confused with his conflicting emotions. Kyle liked Kenny, loved to hang out with him, with Kenny life was easy. With his girlfriend he had to keep being partly something he wasn't really, yeah he was popular but he wasn't him.
Kenny made to leave after spilling his crush on his best friend and said friend not saying anything, but Kyle grabbed his arm and stopped him. Asked if he really felt this way, asked if he was still attractive even if he wasn't popular. And Kenny told Kyle yes. Told him Kyle's looks were always good, of course cleaning up helped but he liked him before, and Kyle's smarts and neediness and rambling speeches on life was something Kenny liked.
Kyle was now extra confused and asked Kenny if he could have some time to think over things. Kenny had nothing to really lose at this point, thinking his w options were Kyle would be disgusted and leave him or Kyle would still be his friend. Kenny didn't see Kyle wanting more than friends to be an option. But a week and one breakup later, Kyle back in his nerdy old clothes asked if Kenny wanted to try and see if they could be more.
So I have had this bouncing around my head for a while after watching some older episodes.
More the episodes Kyle is voted ugliest boy and the aids eps.
So Cartman doesn't actually have HIV, he thought he did but they got his and someone else's blood tests mixed up, but he does give Kyle HIV through someone else's blood who is HIV positive. So like the day after Kyle tests positive it comes back that Cartman was clean and the whole mix up, but Kyle is actually positive.
This is right after the girls made the list and Kyle was the ugliest guy, unfair list or not Kyle is feeling really bad about himself.
Not only do the girls not find him attractive, he now has HIV and who would want to date someone with HIV?
So he resigns himself that he is never gonna date and he is very unattractive.
Flash forward to high school where puberty is hitting everyone and their hormones are raging. People are dating people they normally would never date a few years before because wow did this person get pretty or that person suddenly is handsome. And Kyle doesn't notice it but puberty hit him well, and girls definitely don't think he is the ugliest kid in class, far from it. Problem is Kyle doesn't think the girls are flirting with him, and all their attempts go over his head. Yes the girls hear constantly from Cartman that Kyle has hiv, but their is new drugs now that stop hiv from infecting a partner of someone who does have HIV. (PReP)
Kyle has gotten really close to Stan and Kenny and some of the other boys during this time, but he also started getting advice from gay al and Mr slave.
And sometime during puberty and the whole childhood understanding that girls won't date him, Kyle thought maybe boys would still date him tho. And Hiv does have a big stigma in the gay community. It was other gay men with HIV, in therapy groups for Kyle to get his confidence back.
So yeah Kyle maybe is looking at other boys a little too long to be friendly and maybe Kyle thinks his friend Kenny is the hottest person in school because he was already good looking as a kid and puberty graced him well.
But Kyle won't tell Kenny anything, even tho he thinks Kenny might like him back. He doesn't want to ruin his friendship and Kenny deserves better than ugly HIV positive Kyle anyway.
Kyle already has a pretty weak immune system with his diabetes and all his HIV meds and HIV in general doesn't really help his immune system at all. So when Kyle gets sick, he gets very sick and half the time ends up in the hospital.
There was a very nasty flu going around school and Kyle ended up getting it and gettin it bad.
He was in the hospital for weeks, and the only person who would visit him was Kenny. Everyday Kenny would visit Kyle to tell him random drama and shit that happened at school. Stan couldn't visit, he was busy with other things and he also couldn't get himself to go see Kyle in such a bad state. So Kyle really loved that Kenny visited him.
And one really drugged up time Kyle told Kenny that, told him how much he liked Kenny, how pretty Kenny was now, how Kyle really wanted to pet his fluffy hair and kiss the dumb smirk off his face. And Kenny was over the moon with excitement, told Kyle when he got better he could kiss all the smirks off his face when ever he wanted.
But Kyle didn't know he told Kenny that, he thought it was a fever dream, something he dreamt up in a drugged up sleep.
And so wile Kyle struggled to get better, Kenny got all the tests and PReP, so that when Kyle did get better Kenny would be safe to be with Kyle. Kenny knew all of Kyle's fears about being alone forever thanks to this illness, and how ugly he thought the world saw him. But Kenny saw the real Kyle always did. As a kid Kyle was pretty in his own way, he didn't get why the girls thought he was ugly and Kyle's illness never stopped Kyle from doing anything. Kenny always thought Kyle was the smartest, brightest best personality person in the whole town, and his looks were good too. And puberty did wonders for Kyle, or well Kenny thought.
So yeah Kenny was excited that Kyle who didn't think he was worth anything, liked him, because now he could truly show Kyle how much he was actually worth to Kenny.
And Kyle did get better, after weeks in the hospital and a few close calls, Kyle was finally good enough to go home and go back to school in a few days. So Kenny ditched school the moment he found out Kyle was back home. He barged into his house and gave him a big hug, grinning and waiting for Kyle to get a clue. So when Kyle didn't get the clue that Kenny wanted to be kissed like Kyle told him. Kenny pouted and asked Kyle if he was lying when he confessed to him. And Kyle the dense shit he was, still didn't get it, and stumbled over his words to get out a what. And after a talk between the two to clear things up, Kyle was more embarrassed than he had ever been, he couldn't believe he had told Kenny he liked him and wanted to kiss him when he was out of it on drugs. Kenny was smiling that dumb smile that just made Kyle want to punch him in the mouth with his mouth because fuck. So Kyle did.
So sometime in puberty could happen from like age 9 to as late as 22, a tattoo will appear on some part of your body that your soulmate will have an exact one like it. It happens to the soul mates at the same time. The soul mate marks can be something of importance or just something random. The soul mates could be romantic or platonic. Both soulmates get their marks at the same time. And only about 25% of humans have soul mates.
Kyle has always been one to say if he had a soul mate he would be willing to wait off any romantic relationships till he meets his soulmate to see if they are romantic soul mates or not. He is willing to wait, even if he does end up with one, finding a soulmate can be hard. Some people never meet their soul mates. If Kyle doesn't have one he is fine with that.
So when freshman year of high school hits and some people are getting marks and most don't Kyle doesn't really pay much attention to drama that revolves around them. Like how Stan got a mark but Wendy did not, and the hopeless romantic Stan was broke up with her for good because he hard core believes his soul mate is his romantic life partner. Or how a year later Cartman got one and held it over everyone's head how he had a soul mate and how Kyle didn't "because Jews don't have souls so they can't have soul mates duhh".
Kyle doesn't mind to much when he is 17 and a senior in high school now, no mark. He is ok with listening to Stan talk endlessly about who his soul mate could be. Out of their original group of 4, stand and Cartman are the only ones with soul mates, realistically only one of them should have a soul mate, so the stats were higher in their group.
Kenny is just like him, tho Kenny is a hard believer that he doesn't have a soul mate, his reasoning is messed up. Somewhere along the lines of "I'm pretty sure my soul is defective and there is no way for my fucked up soul to have a mate, just no fucking way, it isn't possible."
Their group has drifted a little since high school, Stan is a jock, Cartman is somehow in the popular group , and Kyle and Kenny are both nerds. Kenny really took to the books in high school, he wants a brighter future than what his parents are, he isn't the smartest but he really has a knack for science and is trying to get scholarships for college. Kyle and Kenny study a lot together and even tho Stan is still Kyle's super best friend, Kenny is just right there.
Its a random school morning in the middle of fall when Kyle woke up and looked down at his right arm to realize that the color all over his hand wasn't there when he went to sleep. He had a soul mark and it seemed to extend up his arm hidden by his pjs. He rushed to the closest mirror to get a better look as he ripped his shirt off. Extending from his shoulder blades to the back of his hand,was a whole sleeve of twisted intertwined vines . The vines and leafs near his hand were withering and dead, shriveled up brown but the farther up his arm the more color and life the vines and leaves had, changing from Brown to deep reds and oranges and yellows to light green and deep lush green fauna. The leafs and vines on his shoulders where vibrant and full of life.
Kyle had grown to the idea of not having a soul mate but fuck his mark was beautiful and holy shit he had a soul mate, fuck Cartman, Kyle had a soulmate. His first instinct was to take a picture and send it to all his friends but he hesitated, he kinda wanted to show and tell them in person. Slipping on a long sleeved shirt and thin gloves and throwing on his hat and jacket, Kyle hid his mark even from his parents because he knew they would blab as soon as they found out.
Kyle carpooled with Kenny to school, so it looked like Kenny would be the first one to find out. When Kenny got in the car he was weirdly ecstatic and as soon as he opened the door to Kyle's car he was nonstop "Kyle fuck, Kyle you won't believe this, fuck I can't believe it, Kyle this is fucking crazy someone has to be pulling a joke on me fucking fuck Kyle dude what is life what is going on".
And before Kyle could even open his mouth to ask what drugs Kenny had took during breakfast, Kenny was ripping his hoodie and shirt off and shoving his right arm in Kyle's face.
And Kyle, fuck, Kyle was at a loss for words as Kyle stared at the same soulmate mark Kyle work up to. The same artwork of twisted vines and vibrant changing colors that marked Kyle's skin. Kenny was all face splitting grins as he continued to spout on how he had to still be dreaming because his fucked up soul can't have a soulmate, and if it was really fuck Kenny's didn't know what to do, he was just so shocked he was giddy.
Kyle just sat there taking in the fact that his soul mate was Kenny, his 2nd closest friend, someone he had grown up with all his life, someone he knew a bunch of secrets of and vise versa. Kenny: dorky, flirtatious, heart of gold, lanky tall fuck, Kenny. Was his soul mate, his potential perfect romantic or platonic partner. It was a little too much for Kyle to think about. The only thing he could say or do was hold his head in his hands and say "what the fuck"
Kenny agreed "what the fuck", but after the 5th time Kyle only repeated the statement doing nothing but looking at him with wide confused eyes, Kenny was at a loss. He asked Kyle if he was ok, his excitement simmering down for worry. And Kyle just snapped out of whatever place his mind had drifted to looked Kenny dead in the eyes and said "we are skipping school" drove over to his house without saying another word and dragged very confused Kenny to his room and closed the door.
Kenny, fully clothed again, sat on Kyle's bed, lost as to why they were skipping school and as to why Kyle would tell him anything. As Kyle started to strip off his jacket and take his shirt off, Kenny made some flirtatious joke how Kyle just wanted to get a piece of the Kenny before he was 100% a soul mate taken man but drifted off near the end as Kyle was finally shirtless.
Kyle stood there,shirtless in his room watching the emotions on Kenny's face: cocky-confusion -realization -shock- confusion- glee. "What the fuck" Kenny finally said flipping back on Kyle's bed. Kyle couldn't agree more.
"Kyle we are soul mates" Kenny jumped up and pulled Kyle into a tight hug, kyle returned with just as much force. "I never thought I would have a soul mate, and I never in a billion lifetimes would think my soul mate would be you, you are so perfect Kyle, oh fuck I really have to be dreaming"
They spent the next few hours just sitting in Kyle's bed both shirtless, both just looking and touching and obsessing over their marks and talking about them. Kyle knew nothing could get in the way of their friendship, they knew that they would always be platonic love between them but romantic they didn't know. Both of them have never thought much about dating or romance, at least not with each other, but it didn't mean they couldn't try. So they decided to take it slow and see how their relationship would go. They already had such a deep connection of friendship that they knew even if romance didn't work out they would still be partners, just platonically.
They also decided they would tell their family's but ask them to keep quiet because the two wanted time to figure things out and in a town like south park if the wrong person found out, they wouldn't have the peace to figure it out.
Lucky for them it was fall and most people were wearing long sleeves, jackets and gloves all the time. So they would have several months to hide their marks without drawing attention to themselves before the layers started to shed.
Somehow between college apps and midterms Kenny and Kyle had little dates not much because they were students. But enough that they felt like they were dates but to a classmates eye they would just be two best friends hanging out, like little coffee dates or late-night Denny's runs or just studying in the library or watching a movie.
And somewhere just after Kyle heard back from his 3rd choice school, he got accepted of course, Kenny kissed him. It wasn't much but a few second press of lips, but it was still their first kiss. Kenny pulled back realizing that might have been a mistake before Kyle pulled him back down for a deeper much longer lasting kiss.
After that they decided that yeah dating would be a really awesome idea. They didn't hide their relationship but they didn't flaunt it either. If you payed attention you would notice the subtle brush of the back of their hands as they walked close next to each other, the just slightly too long hugs, the looks of pure adoration when the other was ranting.
They told Stan a week after they started dating because Stan had a major flip out why Kyle,and Kenny, had drifted away from him these past few months. Stan was shocked and slightly jealous but extremely happy that his friends had found each other and well they were each other's soul mates. After that Stan was really cool with their relationship, and he didn't tell anyone, if someone asked him why Kyle and Kenny were a lot closer he just deflected and told them to ask Kyle or Kenny themselves, it's not his business.
It wasn't till spring when both Kyle and Kenny had turned 18, and they both had gotten into two different schools but in the same city, far away from south park, that the rest of the town found out.
It was senior trip time, the weather was warming up, people were starting to wear short sleeved shirts and shorts. Some were not as it wasn't summer warm yet but the transition was there. The school had the funds to send the graduating seniors to a week long trip somewhere tropical. To say the whole senior class was surprised when Kenny came running out onto the beach laughing his ass off in just a bright orange swim trunks and soul mark on full display was shocking. But when no less than 10 seconds later Kyle came charging after him yelling in nothing but a small ass green speedo, his matching soul mark there, they lost their shit.
Because who would think that Kenny and Kyle would be soul mates, but when you really think about it, there really isn't anyone else they could be with.
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