The following is adapted from a sermon I gave in 2017, at Trinity Episcopal Church, in Southport.
You may or may not already know this about me, but I am absolutely obsessed with surfing. It began from the first few waves I got. They changed my life in the way that I interacted with the ocean. Gliding on top of the water, riding an undulating wave of energy that began its life thousands of miles away, it’s as heady an experience as I’d had at that moment in my life, and I was hooked.
I became obsessed with it, working at my own competence, while also immersing myself in the culture, language, and techniques of the sport.
I began in 8thgrade, in Coronado, California, and by that time I knew I was far behind. I was too embarrassed to learn in front of my peers, so I paddled out each morning before Algebra Class after receiving a board for Christmas.
I shared the same home break with an incredible young talent named Taylor Jensen. Growing up surfing in Coronado, I watched this kid catch more waves and do more on a wave than I could have ever imagined, and he made it look effortless.
When I began my new high school, I joined the surf team. It was a small club of youth from a tiny school, and we competed at a couple of events in Southern California. Taylor and I, both riding long-boards, ended up surfing in some of the same heats together. (He doesn’t remember me.)
He smoked me. Every time. He is a multiple time world champion.
Growing up in that kind of environment, I never worried about learning how to lose. I was already pretty good at that, at least in my incredibly-short relationship with competetitive surfing.
Not far from where I grew up surfing, Kolohe Andino, one of the best surfers on the planet, began a stellar career as a professional surfer. He was the son of another professional surfer, and was surrounded constantly by the best talent in the world, both from the old school and the new.
His path to stardom was undeniable. Like my neighbor Taylor, Kolohe could win almost any competition against anyone in the world. Yet in the professional world of surfing, the championship tour, otherwise known as the dream tour, is full of equally undeniably talented people, and Kolohe had yet to learn one thing.
He had to learn how to lose.
In each event,out of a field of 30 of the best surfers on the planet, there is only one winner, and the competition is fierce.
For his first four years on the world tour, he could almost always be relied upon to do something rash in the wake of a disappointing performance. He threw amazing tantrums in and out of the water.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/zyclZaK1Tzc
He would punch his boards, he would flip off the judges, and lock himself up in his hotel room for hours on the road.
It took a long time, and a lot of growing up for Andino to learn how to lose, but he got there. Here’s an excerpt of an interview he did with Surfline while preparing for a contest on Tavarua, Fiji.
*Back when the world championship tour did that...**Matt groused saltily to nobody who cared.
Surline: Given your experience, what advice would you give the rookies?
Kolohe Andino: “Learn to lose. [Laughs.] As soon as I learned to lose, winning came a lot quicker. Last year was the first year I didn’t have one blow-up -- didn't break my board, yell at anyone, or flip off the judges -- and I ended up finishing 4th in the world. The run I had at the end of the year — the reason I think that happened was how I handled my close losses during the middle of the year. The old Kolohe would’ve dealt with those close losses by blowing up, freaking out, then locked into a room crying... because I wanted it so bad, I couldn’t even take it. But because I didn’t do that, I was able to move on, learn from it, then apply what I learned into the next events.”
He had to learn how to lose, to accept eventual defeat, and learn. By learning how to lose, suddenly, he started winning. In learning how to lose, this young man grew up. Focusing not on the failures of the moment as impediments to his reaching the goal of winning events. Instead they became opportunities to grow…to learn-To connect with a larger narrative, a bigger picture, and it’s working.
“For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.” Matthew 16:25.
16 Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”17 Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven.18 And I tell you that you are Peter,[b] and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades[c] will not overcome it. 19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be[d] bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”
It’s a great moment for Peter. A+ endoresement from Jesus.
But it all changes in just a few verses. In this moment. Jesus explains to his loyal followers just what his role as the messiah will entail. Jesus explains that he will have to die.
21 From that time on, Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and undergo great suffering at the hands of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised.22And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, saying, ‘God forbid it, Lord! This must never happen to you.’
23But he turned and said to Peter, ‘Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling-block to me; for you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things.’
24 Then Jesus told his disciples, ‘If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it. 26For what will it profit them if they gain the whole world but forfeit their life? Or what will they give in return for their life?
Those who lose their lives for my sake, will find it.
He is teaching us, through singling out Peter, how to let go of the short term victory, and embrace the bigger vision, to participate in the kingdom of God. In short, he is teaching us how to lose. Peter will go on in the Gospels to get it right, and to get it very wrong. He’s spectacular at that, and I love him for it.
