⭐️ Vitalik the Cockroach is an old local meme in the “13 Cards” fandom that first appeared back in 2019 during the early days of fan-created characters for Land of Kings.
At first, he was just a random cockroach that eventually got deleted from the character folder, but fans loved him so much that they even made a petition demanding his return 🪳
Later, Vitalik gradually started appearing in official content:
— a poster in the Hearts volume (2021)
— a cameo in Episode 1 of the animated series (2024)
— then he even became the avatar of the official “13 Cards” community 😭
— a humanized version of Vitalik in “Joker Presents” (2025)
This year, Vitalik turns 7 years old. And despite what Waru said about cockroach lifespans, Vitalik will live FOREVER! 💃
I find it weird that some of the clones don’t know how to draw, like Spade and Waru for example, they can’t draw.
I find it weird because Fëdor knows how to draw and since all of them are his clones, wouldn’t they be good at drawing like him too? I dunno just something I found weird.
My thoughts: the clones aren’t true clones. They are more akin to magical entities that have their own personalities and abilities that adjust their physical form to be more like their users, maybe to be more relatable. They don’t hold memories or skills that their holder has… They embody a trait of human personality that every person should have, rather than being an actual reflection of the holder.
For my reference and for everyone else's on how Kuromaku speaks, here are most of Kuromaku's lines in both the 13 Cards cartoon and the Land of Kings comics.
The cartoon borrows from the English dub's transcripts, while the comic uses @landofkingsunofficialen's wonderful translation.
13 Cards - Season 1, episode 1
But you just came from there.
Stop horsing around, we don’t have much time.
That includes your quotes, Dante. Divide the responsibilities between you, while me and Brolly, since we had nothing to do with this mess, tidy up Fёdor’s room.
No need to worry. Surely it can’t get any worse than- ugh! That train wreck.
Not like they could wipe the apartment off the face of the Earth.
Maybe I’m… seeing things…
Or maybe not.
Wait a minute…
What?..
Where did the bubbles come from?
It’s white.
And what do you suggest we do? We don’t have time to clean this up.
Ew, Romeo!
Phew…
You what!?
(sputters) Are you serious?!
13 Cards - Season 1, episode 2
Oh, turn it up!
If we consult history, the predecessors of comic books, such as medieval illustrations, were a primitive form of entertainment… for the peasants.
Hmm, it’s important to break the work into stages. For starters... I must collect more data.
Hmm… This is still not enough!
Yes, I’ve just finished it.
Using statistical analysis, I have calculated the formula for the perfect comic.
I have found… Nothing.
Is this loss?
WA–
13 Cards - Season 1, episode 3
This is absurd.
I'm afraid I've completely lost the plot here.
Hey you, tin hats! Stop it! I’ll take you with my bare hands!
Yeah, that's exactly how it went. Thank you.
The situation is getting out of control.
How should I know? Ask him.
Dante, watch the onions!
You have to be more careful. (sighs) Oh well. Are you okay?
Ugh… This soup is too thick! We have to dilute it.
Thank you, Dante. Now to add more salt.
Huh? Vinegar. Soda. I'm angry, but I am impressed with your basic knowledge of chemistry.
We’ll help you make new soup.
Well, at least it's not too salty.
Yeah.
What?
13 Cards - Season 1, episode 4
Peppers, cabbage, eggplant.
I really don’t think Fëdor would like us spending money on takeaway.
Fine, you win. And this… needs to be destroyed. Eugh…
Polyunsaturated fats, amino acids…
What did you say? You shut it, you! This isn’t my forte! You green little…! Come on, put ‘em up!
You stuck a push pin to your hand.
I worked it out! “Sraephtiw” is “with pears” backwards.
I’ll go get them.
Wait… We usually eat in front of the TV… On the sofa… Waru, no Waru!…
You can have it, just let me back in!
Gabriel! Open the door!
Spade! Spade, open the door! When [incomprehensible], I’m gonna get you!
Looks like they’ll only let me in after I get frostbite… I have to move to stay alive.
I DON’T need to move to stay alive…
AHHHH!
Obviously from up there.
In this case, I have to agree.
Brolly, I’m only just starting to develop an imagination.
13 Cards - Season 1, episode 5
Another peaceful night has fallen on our once quiet town. Last time I couldn't protect the lives of innocent people, but this time it played out differently. And I have the power to rewrite the ending of this story. This time–
I caught you!
Ah, uh, um, oh God, I’m so sorry–
Wait a minute. We must first conduct a comprehensive analysis of the situation.
What a bust. Who could have predicted that Waru was innocent?
Although, since when was the truth an easily attainable trophy?
I must figure it all out before it's too late.
Spade was acting suspiciously quiet at today's meeting. I'll check him out.
I'll be… voting for Felix!
Finally, our town can sleep peacefully once again. The murderer has been found. Now, we are in a peaceful, serene–
Impossible!
Wait a minute, comrades. It's not me!
This is a mistake! You fools! Stop this!
AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
This doesn't make any sense. Who's the mafia?
Gabriel… Were you…?
… Jack of diamonds?
But this is… Ah-hah! Against the rules!
I suppose it’s pretty fair, I guess, yeah.
13 Cards - Season 1, episode 6
Waru! I need the toilet!
… Skeptical.
I've been practising all this time.
Bravo!
Or, he can be our backup.
You can start now.
You don’t qualify.
Because.
Uhh... Are you sure that Brolly can perform?
Oh. He's our microphone stand.
13 Cards - Season 1, episode 7
(sighs) Sorry, Brolly, but your kingdom is no more.
That's a two. A coup d'etat takes place. You're overthrown and you're out of the game.
Why did you do that?
Is that our cutting board?
Okay, take the board. Ooohh, the word board is spelled with an A.
Then say, "Ghost, come. Give us a sign."
How do you plan on communicating with a dog with letters?
E-L-I… Elisa?
Brolly.
Stop with this anti-scientific farce. Go do something useful.
Play, Gabriel.
I’ll close the window.
All the windows are closed, but the radiators are cold. Likely a breakdown.
Waru, enough is enough.
Dante, is that you there?
Everyone, calm down!
… may hold.
If we entertain the idea that Waru’s seance worked, then we must follow the established rules.
It was to be expected. And also…
13 Cards - Season 1, episode 8
Need a hand?
Mate!
(sigh) ... I was trying to sort the packages by their spiciness... But they all fell down.
So many eyeglasses... I must sort them all!
Maybe you should try that.
Documenting everything around you? I could do that, too.
13 Cards - Season 1, episode 9
Kindly tell me, who here is Monsieur Nozdrelix?
Police captain.
I have come here today to fulfil a commission that has been imposed on me: you are placed under arrest.
Allow me to represent to you that I am an officer! You may address your servants like this, but not me.
Joker Presents - Episode 5
I’m sure we’ll find a way out.
Ahem-ahem. Even if he doesn’t come back, there must be another solution.
(singing) Aaaaaaa-aaaah!
I assumed that a strong enough sound vibration would resonate with the waves of the card world and attract Fëdor’s attention.
(singing) Aaaaaaa-aaaah!
There was a portal at this place. Perhaps a certain set of actions will be able to open it.
Exactly! Thank you for the idea. Let’s begin.
199.995 40199.996 401.
Romeo. Stop trying to whistle. You’re distracting me.
1996 401. The time of our stay here from the very beginning.
601 453.744 60153.74.
Don’t distract me, Zontik. I think…
Land of Kings - Chapter 1
Impossible. Unless it’s…
It’s perfect.
Based on my calculations, the gravity here is now 100% the same as that on earth.
… Nothing’s going to happen. No need to escalate the situation. We need to think rationally about–
Aha! The generator should have charge left over for…
That leaves 30%, given the margin of error… Substract…
Land of Kings - Chapter 2
Welcome! The first gathering of rulers of the card world is now open!
Such gatherings will address crucial issues affecting the entire card world. We will discuss domestic and foreign policy of our states, share experience, and come to a consensus on various controversial issues. The potential from common development must be maximised to 100%.
However! Some… ahem… representatives of their states already failed to show up at the specified time, displaying tactlessness!
And as for the diamonds… My messengers were unable to locate neither Dante nor Gariel. Their whereabouts are unknown.
Yeah, yeah, just shut up, take a seat, and listen.
As previously stated, these meetings are held to address key issues and prevent potential conflicts over differences. Each of us has a very powerful source of energy, which can be used to accomplish any goal. Our goal is peace.
Brolly!
We’ll start with you. Please describe in as much detail as possible the structure of your state so that we can draw some conclusions from it.
SHUT UP, BOTH OF YOU!
Now, we stopped at Brolly and his state. So please, give us as much information as we can get.
And, by the way, where did your halberd and shield go?
I’m surprised you didn’t think of that right away. Although we are not human beings, we have physical bodies and the same needs for sleep and rest.
It’s a no-brainer. Evidence has shown that the more complex the structure being produced, the more generator energy is expended on it. Therefore, it is much more efficient to utilize herd labour for…
WAIT A MINUTE! Don’t tell me that… you wasted your energy on…
Argh! I don’t even want to hear a positive answer from you. Brolly, continue.
You 100% need to replace your current technology.
Speaking of technology! Kuron! Get the videophones out of the bag!
(We need something more sophisticated than messengers to communicate with each other.)
Great! They’re all here. I am giving each of you this device so that we can communicate with each other remotely via video calls.
WARU!
Found it!
Knew it, no way to fly up there.
I’ll be back.
Land of Kings - Chapter 3
(Written) Chapter 3: Evolution of the State. In order to establish the perfect form of socio-political structure, the state must go through all stages of its development according to a specific scenario. Changes must be strictly consistent and progressive. Only in this case can the society that forms the stat–
(Done!)
It’s time!
No car access. Only on foot from here.
(Luminescent markers will help me find my way back even in complete darkness if I get lost. For this mission, I am ready to push myself beyond my limits and step into the unknown.)
MY LEG!
(What do I do now? What’s next? Should I go back, or…”)
(I haven’t come this far to give up now. But what if this is an illusion of no return? How close am I to my goal? Is it worth it?)
(Out of reach. As expected.)
(Stay strong, Kuromaku. Don’t panic, you’re smart enough to get out of this. You will have to go through many trials in life to gain invaluable experience. Each one should strengthen you. Only then will you be able to show true personal growth.)
(My leg hurts. The storm is getting worse. It’s getting dark. No one will find me if I collapse here now. Gather up your willpower and keep going! You simply have no choice… or it will all end here.)
(You must… must…)
(You must?)
(Light? Grass? I’m not dreaming?)
(What? Where am I? I recall trying to find Dante…)
(My leg is still injured… is that a cast? I don’t remember having it…)
Ah! 100% beauty!
Oh, tea! Thank you.
Yeah? Sure. Ok…
(My ability to lie is next to nil. As well as the very desire to convey false information to the interlocutor. However, I am afraid that otherwise, I cannot explain the situation without violating the integrity of worldview ideals and principles of the local people.)
My name is… Kuro. Kuro-san. I am a prince from a faraway land beyond the impassable mountains (is that what you call them?) who has come with a diplom– (nope) to visit your ruler (?) who’s he here? Dante. He’s an old friend of mine… Yeah.
I suppose Dante is in this temple in the center of the village. Is that correct?
And you also train there, right?
(Unbelievable! As far as I understand, Dante was able to harness the energy of the generator itself, thereby bringing its efficiency to 100%, and now, not only is the carrier itself destroyed and cannot be appropriated by anyone… Dante has also created a closed organic land that is protected from enemies by a natural barrier, making any expenditure on its defense unnecessary!)
(Here, the society is consolidated as much as possible, because everyone knows each other and is engaged in their own business. Unfortunately, such a model will not suit the united republic, but I can still learn from it…)
Allow me to see and talk to Dante!
Why?!
You don’t understand, this is extremely important! I’m telling you, Dante and I… we’re…
Long-time friends… Old comrades…
And I forgot to tell you that I’m also a god, right!
(Oh, my lies have gone too far, I’m going to have to get into character.)
Yeah! I’m a prince god! Who came down from above…
I’m not lying! Just look at me! I even look very different from you! I have five fingers too, just like Dante-sama! And my eyes are different! My hair! I’ve got glasses, ever seen those? I’m taller than all of you!
And most importantly… A direct proof of my divine nature…
I can multiply four-digit numbers in my head! 2.791 x 3.589! 7.568 x 4.293! 1.143 x 8.952! I can do it all!
From denial springs the truth.
All great truths begin as blasphemies.
The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth.
(Got it!)
Here I am, Dante.
Congratulations, you have created the perfect conditions for a small but very united community. Hopefully, your people haven’t lied to me and you really are sitting in this rock and can hear me.
Now, let’s get to the point. Originally, my mission was to find the clones who went missing after we got the generators. I have some concerns about our future, and I hope I can share them with you.
But when I got here and saw the result of your work, it amazed me! I admit… I had a very different opinion of you when we were in the real world. A thoughtless, lazy, useless slacker. If you’ll pardon me for being blunt.
Yes! Now I realise that you have something that I don’t.
Regarding my concerns… You’re wise enough to realise that; he’s not going to just let it go. He’ll want more. You know who I mean. With or without you, we will resist him. I will. I need–
The answer is yes, I presume?
Then I’ll take on the project. I hope you won’t let me down.
Land of Kings - Chapter 4
Good afternoon.
Unfortunately, I had to resort to this method of communication. As a result of an industrial accident, I injured my leg.
All right.
Anybody want to volunteer?
Gabriel and Dante are generally in agreement with the outcome of our negotiations, as I have personally verified.
In any case, their foreign policy will have no effect on our affairs. What is important now is to discuss some nuances related to the living conditions and rights of our subjects.
Right to life, to work, freedom of movement. You are probably familiar with the basic rights of the real world, voiced…
Hey, what are you laughing at?! I didn’t say anything funny!
Stop this immedi–
Ah. Kuron, turn the camera.
Land of Kings - Chapter 5, part 1
Hello.
I’m all ears.
Rising prices, you say… That’s an open expression of inflation. Nothing unusual. Consider it an inherent process of economic development, as long as it doesn’t threaten overall solvency. Inflation indicates an increase in the wealth of the population, if that’s what you’re worried about. I recommend at this stage to introduce large denomination banknotes, whilst continuing to monitor developments with the necessary analysis.
Land of Kings - Chapter 5, part 2
Literally everything!
Ahem!
Go wash up! I can’t take you seriously looking like that.
Well, that too.
A monitoring system with a built-in neutraliser, you mean? Based in a database of criminals?
The walls of our defences are equipped with motion sensors. They can be used as a basis. So it’s a feasible theory.
Although we do have some problems with facial recognition, but we are currently working on a similar technology.
Blueprints? Why? Wouldn’t it be easier to… Hmm. You’re right. If you can figure it out, the data from Felicia will be useful: we lack expertise with emotions. Great idea, I’ll look forward to it.
ALRIGHT SO LISTEN im totally normal about this topic HEAR ME OUT
THINGS IN LOK THAT to me PROVE THAT FELIX IS CANONICALLY AROACE OR IS AT LEAST IMPLIED TO BE AROACE
⬆️ this reaction
straight up doesn't consider/interpret his relationship with Romeo like anything BUT platonic
⬆️ this reaction
although to be fair it is a pretty weird proposal, but he's SO APPALED by the idea
⬆️ this reaction
⬆️ this reaction
lmfao there's so many of those
so i already pointed this ⬆️ out in one of my drawings, but i do want to elaborate
because not only Felix shows ZERO interest in Verona's women
i also find it really interesting how much the contrast between his and Franz's reactions to them is emphasized, like genuinely this cannot be unintentional, i highly doubt this is just a gag because this apathetic behaviour Felix has towards anything romantic/sexual IS consistent
these lines ⬆️ are like the last nails in the coffin because what do you mean you travel to Verona (VERONA, A COUNTRY THAT'S ENTIRE "MAIN ATTRACTION" IS PRETTY WOMEN (and a pretty prince)) and, when listing all of the attractions and entertainment Verona has as a country, you never once mention, well. THE WOMEN??
like this is such a give away like Felix doesn't even consider the fact that that's kind of the main thing in Verona, he lists food, clothes and all that shit but just COMPLETELY ignores all the sexual stuff
okay so i don't have this page translated yet (im the guy behind @landofkingsunofficialen btw nice to meet you i swear i will finish the translation soon)
AND THIS ENTIRE POINT MIGHT BE A BIT OF A STRETCH, HOWEVER
here, Felix gets out of the shower and Franz says "Monsieur, I know "that there's nothing I haven't already seen", but maybe you could put something on?" SORRY ROUGH TRANSLATION IM IMPROVISING and in response FELIX STARTS DRYING HIS HAIR AFTER WHICH FRANZ POINTS DOWN THERE AND ONLY THEN FELIX REALISES WHAT HE MEANT
to me it looks like Felix doesn't sexualise nudity and that's why he misinterprets what Franz means, he genuinely doesn't think about anything in this situation as sexual/inappropriate IN ANY WAY
OKAY BYE THANKS I GOT TO YAP ABOUT MY AROACE BABYGIRL AND IM HAPPY NOW
Did it hurt Kuromaku to cut his card, considering he was essentially cutting himself?
⸻
💬 Fedor’s answer (Fedor Nechitailo)
I think it caused him a certain level of discomfort.
It’s less of a strong physical pain and more of a burning sensation — as if something unpleasant is burning from the inside. Not enough to make him lose consciousness, but still noticeable and clearly unpleasant.
At the same time, the card is not exactly him. It’s more like a “door” through which he enters the real world.
So the sensation can be compared to hitting a door or it deforming in some way and hurting you.
Fëdor Notchichikov arrives in a provincial town to buy dead souls — deceased peasants still listed as alive, hoping to profit from them on paper. With each new landlord, the deals grow stranger and the stakes get higher.
The season finale is inspired by Gogol’s Dead Souls.
You may have noticed that this is a re-upload of the episode. Unfortunately, YouTube wouldn't let us upload the Spanish dub, so we had to take the video down. Please support us and leave your wonderful comments again! 🐣
One may wonder, how does Fёdor make a living for nine people? It's actually pretty simple - he's not doing it alone!
In the Deck AU, after some time, Fёdor realises he won't be able to do everything on his own without collapsing from exhaustion, so he asks the clones for help. This time though, they make a plan how to handle university, two jobs and other things together.
Usually it's the three of them - Fёdor, Kuromaku and Spade - who work on it and take most active part in executing it. Kuro genuinely wants to help but also he and Spade (and all the other clones actually) desperately want to communicate with the outside world - and this is their only option, all things considered.
More about other clones under the cut! ⬇️⬇️⬇️
Of course, the others take part in this too!
Felix loves sports and talking to other people at university, but he hates classes where he has to sit quietly for an hour and a half. Sometimes he goes to work though.
Romeo is not a big fan of doing actual job but he can handle work and classes. He also likes going to uni (he flirts with pretty girls out there). He's not allowed to go to university as Fёdor after the incident.
Brolly is too scared to go anywhere as Fёdor, especially after his first day at university went so badly. No one pressures him to do so to not spike up his anxiety, but he's offered to try anyway.
Waru is not allowed to go ANYWHERE as Fёdor until he proves he's able to do anything without messing things up for fun. He hates that but he doesn't want to change his attitude either. Funnily enough, he's more reliable than some others in this house, but he doesn't show this side of him that much.
Whenever Fёdor tries to ask Dante or Gabriel to take part in the schedule, those two mysteriously disappear out of sight.
Cards get 'reborn'. The old lady was the previous 'black joker' and our clones were her clones, living their life, changed appearence wise for her with slight personality differences, but everyone has these traits so they will at their core still stay the same.
And before her there were other black jokers. The joker dies and cards 'die' until they are picked up by someone new and they start their life again, no memories no nothing.
And the lady was old, she knew it will happen, so she did her best to find a good new black joker.
And Red Joker is different because at some point he severed his connection to black joker. Oh he still changes like everyone else. But he also remembers, he doesn't 'die' and start over. And thus he told Gabriel that they 'die' when Fedya dies.
So now he doesn't need to be summoned to exist. He carved himself a place in Card World where he can have some control.
And I wonder if he wants to find a way and severe connection even more. To not depend on black joker ever again.
