Mallorca Recap... Learning something new about myself everyday...
I want to take a moment to document this trip. I have been on many adventures in my life, but on this one, I learned something that cut deep into my core. This was the “perfect” trip for me. It was cycling in Mallorca Spain with a Professional Cyclist who happens to be my massage client. He is full of the type of energy that I desire to be around, and I knew the trip was going to be amazing and drama free. I was also given the opportunity to massage the cyclists on the tour so that was a plus in my book too!
I must admit, I was slightly intimidated with the group going. The group consisted of mostly men. There were only 2 other women besides me. Amy, who I know to be an exceptionally amazing cyclist, and Laura who I have never met, but had already decided that she was stronger than me. Why did I do that? Why did I relinquish my strength to them? I did you know, before I left, tell myself “you are going to have a great time Lisa, you are not in competition with anyone, and you will simply do the best you can.” But, how could I? Do the best I could that is? I left for the trip by setting myself up for an easy way out before I ever even stepped onto the plane. To put it simply, I did that because I was afraid I would fail. Now everyone has their own way of protecting themselves from failure. My most favorite method, as I have come to discover, is the power of positivity. If I simply stay positive and act like nothing ever bothers me, well then, I can’t fail, right? This way I never am required to push myself beyond my own comfort zone. My ex-husband Sean always said “You are the only one I know that comes through the finish of an Ironman and looks like you could do another 10 miles. You don’t push yourself hard enough” At the time, I am sure I didn’t admit the truth in that statement, but after this trip I know he was right.
I got to Mallorca on the third day of the tour due to some prior commitments, so my first day on the bike was a recovery day for everyone else. They had already put in 2 hard days of climbing on the unforgiving hills in Mallorca. We did a nice easy 25-mile ride that left me craving more, so I went back out with Grant (the Pro who was running the group) later in the day for another 26-miles. I felt happy, positive, and confident. I knew the next day was going to be 80-miles of some intense hills so I already prepared the group for my mediocrity. I am an “endurance athlete” I said. I can climb “forever”, but I am not fast! I made sure they all knew my bullshit excuse and hoped that they believed it more than I did.
The next day we got up bright and early and were on the road by 8:30 am. Even with the 5-hour time difference I felt awake, alive and ready for action. The ride was hard, but manageable. Grant put us into a paceline, and we were expected to ride as group in a rotating fashion. I held up for most of it, but had never worked that hard “before” a climb, so my self-doubt was kicked into bit of overdrive. After stopping at an amazing little café, we were ready for the first climb of the day. As we began our ascent, I once again reminded the group that I was the weakest one there, and that I would be climbing at my own pace. I told them not to worry about me, and that I would see them at the top. True to my word I put my music on, slipped it into the easiest gear, and spun my heart out. Honestly, it should have been hard, it could have been hard, but it wasn’t. It was long, but I wasn’t even out of breath. I finally reached the top and the group gave me a little cheer. Everyone was so encouraging. It was a proud moment for me, or was it? What had I accomplished really? I climbed a hill at the slowest pace possible so that I was 100% positive that I would not fail? Where was the glory in that?
The thing that I love about life, is there is always room for improvement. I don’t mean just physical improvement, I mean me. The real me. The one who lays awake at night nervous about the success of my career, raising decent children, being financially independent, exploring the world, and running out of time. Each day is an opportunity to learn something new about myself, and right there climbing a mountain in Mallorca Spain. I learned that I am afraid to fail. For if I fail then everyone might see the real me. The not so perfect me.
It was Grant Potter who came down the mountain to coach me up the rest of the way. He said, “Lisa, you’re so much stronger than this! Stop spinning so much, and use your gears. Get up and stand occasionally, put some effort into it. With your small size, you should be flying up these hills!”
As a coach myself, I NEVER allow my clients the luxury of making excuses. I push them all to face their demons regardless of the fear they feel. I am constantly saying, “welcome fear as a passenger in your life but never let it drive you”. Yet there I was allowing fear to drive me right up that mountain. Sometimes you just need someone to point something out before you see it for yourself.
It was like the skies had opened and the Gods were speaking to me. What was I doing? Why was I allowing myself the protection of not trying? What was I afraid of?
For the next 4 days, I worked hard. I was sore, but I was exhilarated. I was still one of the last to climb up the hills, but it was NOT because I didn’t put in my best effort!
I am now officially proud of myself. I had an amazing trip, and will never forget the genuine help I received from all the cyclists who attended.
It just goes to show, it doesn’t matter how much you teach, or how much you know, if you don’t apply it to your own life your words are meaningless.
I am always giving advice and I use the words “practice what you preach” a lot. This trip was a lesson learned. I learned that I am only human, that we are really all the same, and that everyone needs a little security to be the best that they can be.
Thank you for reading this story. Follow your dreams, passions, and pursuits. If something seems too easy, it’s is probably because it is! You’ve always got more in you than you think. Stop doubting yourself before you even begin. You’ve always got more! Your failures are the only way you can earn your successes. Explore every side of yourself. Even the scary parts. You’ll be happy you did.
Thank you, Grant Potter, and Amy Good. You two have the beginnings of something amazing and I am honored to have been part of your first camp in Spain.
· Note- While I’m at it, I want to thank Amy Good for having that nutrition talk with me. Another discovery this weekend is that you cannot go out on an 80-mile ride with one water bottle and a Larabar. I guess that is another one of my “do as I say, not as I do” tricks. Yet another lesson learned. Eat, eat, eat!!!
