I remember feeling tired. Tired and defeated, I had nothing left to give. I was lost, confused and helpless but somehow I didn't want to give up. I decided I want to go somewhere where I can simply listen. I know my friends were getting tired of me. I was also getting tired of myself. I remember being tired of my own voice, tired of my excuses, tired of my own promises. I've been trying so hard and I don't seem to be getting anywhere. I found myself attending The Feast. It was something I've always wanted to attend but have always been so busy. Now that school's over, I have all the time in the world and the timing was perfect. We were starting a new series: The Hurt Series, so perfect for the love month (the ouch-iest most drama-filled month of all). There were 3 parts: 1) History - knowing what hurts us 2) Surgery - opening ourselves up to get rid of what's hurting us and 3) Recovery - stitching ourselves up and finally healing. We can't simply skip to healing but I told myself that was the goal. I wanted to be ok - honestly and wholeleartedly ok. I remember they asked all the new attendees to stand up. Then they clapped for us and prayed for us. I thought it would be awkward but everyone was so encouraging and so eager to pray for strangers. I felt hope. Maybe the world is not such a bad place, I just have to choose the people I surround myself with. I mean, it's so refreshing to see people who were generous of their smiles and hugs and prayers. I'm happy this has turned into a weekly routine for me. I am now able to sing some worship songs, comfortable enough to close my eyes in prayer and lift my hands up in worship. I am now humble enough to ask for forgiveness and brave enough to pray for my dreams. I may not know exactly what I want and exactly what I have to do, but whereever I am now, I am at peace. And I am striving to be happy. It's a constant struggle but I'm not in a hurry, it's fine. I feel stronger yet more dependent on God, wiser but more aware that I know nothing. I have a long long way to go but I'm enjoying the journey. Thank you, God, for allowing me to find you. Thank you, self, for giving us a chance.