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@littleinfinityletters
Baby doll,
This doesn't mean you aren't still making progress. A couple of bad days in bed is nothing like it used to be. Used to be nothing but bed.
And you're allowed to want more and still feel good about what you have.
This isn't the end of the world. It never really is.
If it's not OK, it's not over.
I love you, you strange little button. You are beautiful, loved, and enough.
Dearest little monster,
You are doing so well. You are living your life. Making gains every day, showing that you have your own identity. Please don't forget that you are you, and not someone's imagined version of you. You are thriving, little love. This is way beyond surviving.
I am so proud of you.
Paul Klee
Pine Tree, 1932
Dearest little lady bug,
It's a brand new state of existence. Allowing the good to exist and be preferred over the bad. Allowing the bad to exist, but knowing it isn't your identity.
You've forgotten more than you'll ever remember. So live for what is and not what was. And I will support you 100%, no matter where you choose to visit.
It's all temporary. It's all OK. And if it isn't OK, it isn't over.
You know what to do. You know who you are and who you want to be.
Go bravely, sweetheart. I belive in you.
Trick or treat
Dearest little mouse,
I know it gets scary. I know the darkness gets super twisty. I know the edges burn with brightness. I know you can't understand what you did wrong. I know you think there's something wrong with you.
I know because all of that still happens, but we're still here.
We find the best people. We read, listen to music, have sex, laugh, eat incredible food. (I know it sounds funny, but remember this word - cheesecake.) We hold hands, we cry, we fold inside ourselves, we scream.
I know because all of that still happens and we're still here.
Little lightning bug,
They don't get to yell at us anymore. Ever again. Cry your eyes out and release all of that fear. We are in charge here and there's no yelling allowed.
I'll hold your hand as we tell him until our voice is hoarse. You are not allowed to yell at us ever again. I am in charge.
I am in charge.
I love you to bits, you silly, smart princess. 💜
Vulnerable
Vincent and Monica.
Beautiful.
Little lady bug,
You seek fulfillment by hoping that you are part of other people's lives. No one ever taught you how to get that joy and fulfillment from yourself. It started with your parents and there was no instruction to change or love yourself.
It's ok to like yourself. It's ok to love yourself. It's ok to be alone. It's all ok.
And none of it is because there's something wrong with you.
You are perfect and lovely and amazing.
I love you, little one.
Baby pumpkin pie,
You are precious and precocious. Your imagination is inspiring.
Your spirit will get you through so much. Tenacity is so strong in you.
Perfection doesn't exist, baby girl. You're a peach and you are good enough just as you are. Your worth does not depend on your accomplishments or your test scores.
You are absolutely wonderful and I am so grateful for you. So much of who you are is still a part of me.
I love you to bits, little mouse.
Little star,
He'll fold the corners of the tape on your Christmas presents so they're easier to unwrap.
He'll choose your favorite kind of pie for dessert.
You'll find out that he named his first car Kit, after the car in Knight Rider.
He'll treat you like the best present he ever received.
Sweet little pumpkin pie,
He'll fall asleep holding you because he doesn't want to let you go.
He'll wake up and whisper I love you into your shoulder.
Punkin,
Someday you'll be in relationships with amazing people who love you and tell you so.
You'll be sadder and more scared than ever before. Ever before. And he'll press his cheek to yours and hold your head while whispering that it's ok.
You'll try so hard to feel better, you'll do everything that you can. He'll congratulate you and smile so wide.
You'll realize that he is always reaching out to you. That he is almost compelled to hold your hand.
You'll be ok with quiet.
You'll say that you want to shop for a crossword puzzle book.
He will immediately go online and buy one because he knows how much you like to use your brain on puzzles.
He will cup your chin with his hand and his eyes will sparkle all of his love.
When you wake up and tell him that you didn't know where you were for a few minutes, he'll smile and say, "you're home!"
He'll cook you dinner and then ask you to swim.
He'll float with you and tell you stories and you'll both act like fools and it will be so intimate and freeing.
Then he'll insist on scooping your ice cream.
You'll feel all of the wonderful at the same time as the fear and you won't be able to sit in your worries for too long.
One day, you'll be ill. You'll feel like your feet are skipping on slick cobblestones. You will want to run away and stay more than anything at the same time. You won't know anything but this very moment.
And this boy, this fella you're attached to in some unlabeled way, this guy who feels yellow, will just message you to say that he loves you and share a part of his day.
