✨ Little Lion Cub ✨

Finlay big age; 22 | small age; 5-12 #Agere | #ActuallyAutistic Personal Blog - a mix of things

[its-only-the-rain]

Have you ever wondered how someone meets Santa? Well, you need to follow a very specific ritual to summon him.

[littlelionfinn]

I know I haven’t posted in a while- Im sorry; Warning for a rant/vent post

Im so fucking Alone. Im so so starved for meaningful relationships, to actually matter to someone. Of course I have people that talk to me, but they dont know me. They’re not Friends, because how can they be when they couldn’t even tell you how old I am? Or what my favourite color is? People don’t like me, they like the Idea I’ve created- I’m nothing without the carefully pieced together facade that I’ve rebuilt like a wall over and over. I want to matter- just for a little bit. I want to be someones first thought- to check in unprompted; just because they thought about me and wanted to know if i was okay. I want to be able to just talk to someone, without having to play to a character, a preconceived role thats been made for me. I don’t have a single friend in this world;- and it hurts so bad.

[littlelionfinn]

I’m moving into a place I can properly decorate next year, and I have convinced myself to do arcade carpet in my bed room 👀✨ it’s shiny under black light too so uhh I guess blacklight lightbulbs too

[autisticfossil]

Why weighted blanket is good:

• Pressure!!!! Stim!!!! • *pat pat pat* *bead sound* Sound!!!! Stim!!!! • *rub beads between fingers* Tactile!!!! Stim!!!! • cotton fabric is good!!!! • sitting on top is good!!!! • can put on allistics and watch them wonder whyyy!!!!

[littlelionfinn]

Tw suicidal thought, general negativity

—

I feel like I have way too much shit wrong and too many prospective dx that if I try to go to my doctor for help they’ll just laugh at me 🙃

I need a dx for my Autism, PTSD and potentially ADHD - I feel like I’m just an attention seeker, or maybe I’m faking, or maybe I won’t get a dx because I can’t get someone else from my childhood to reference from, or maybe the stuff I want through wasn’t bad enough or maybe it’s just all in my head.

And private dx is too expensive to even think about. I’d need about 1k to do just adhd and asd =n=

Sometimes I feel like it’d be easier to just end it. Less problems for everyone.

[littlelionfinn]

Ive always had insomnia since i was a teen; I’m an incredibly light sleeper and I cant remember a time I’ve slept and felt actually rested ;; I’ve been meaning to buy a weighted blanket for years now. My discovery that i may be autistic made me want one even more... so I bought one :D It comes on Wednesday! Ill post my experience when i get it; in case anyone was wondering if they were worth it!

[barkycatbros]

[sirartwork]

reblog for noises

[littlelionfinn]

The more I look the more I think I have both Autism and ADHD- Since I relate to a whole lot of both... I’m only really sure of the Autism, but I think the ADHD might be a good thing to look into also..

[littlelionfinn]

Trans adults I am begging you to find a way to talk to Trans Kids - When I was younger an adult Trans guy came to my youth group to talk about himself and his life and it was one of the best things, it was so reaffirming and helped me become way more comfortable with myself and my identity!

Go talk for a night at a local youth group or lgbt support group, I swear it is one of the best things an adult Trans person can do for kids who may have never even met another Trans person face to face.

[littlelionfinn]

I think I’m just going to put my Agere stuff on this account- I don’t fully get side blogs and it feels better for me to just post what I want! I’ll still post about my past life experiences, but they’ll be under a read more so any other regressions don’t have to see them- it’s the best compromise I could come up with

Agere stuff will be tagged #Cubtalk or #FinlaysSmallspace

[berry-sweet-princess-deactivate]

nostalgic kiddo moodboard 🎪🧸🖍📺🕹

[littlelionfinn]

I recently bought my regressed self a late Christmas present, to give him (me) a friend when he's small..

His name is Felix! He has a Dinosaur onsie on and he's rainbow colored!! 🌈🌟

[littlelionfinn]

Spent all Christmas Eve alone, cooking and and cleaning for everyone else, and I have to do it all again tomorrow

The only time people spent time with me was to eat the huge meal I made on my own, and then they go on their pcs to talk to their friends without me. Honestly I want to bawl, Christmas is my favourite season and I’m alone and working on my own. I don’t even have my decorations up because no one else wanted to help.

I’m really hurt.

And it’ll happen all again tomorrow.

[littlelionfinn]

I’ve recently started a little collection of Animal Figures! Most of them are Papo; but I do have a couple of Schleich too! When I get them all I’ll show you guys! They’re all really nice quality and detailed so good!

[littlelionfinn]

Why???? Why does my brain keep sending me into mini panic attacks about LITERALLY NOTHING?????? I’ve been sat watching planet zoo videos all day and every so often I’ll get a feeling of impending doom for about 30 minutes before it just leaves?????? UGHHHHHHHHH

[littlelionfinn]

Feeling pretty messed up right now- su*cidal, depressed, worthless. It's pretty horrible tonight. I think it's time I start looking how to go inpatient. I don't know if I'm safe for myself anymore.

I usually deal with my problems on my own, since I'm always usually focusing on my partners issues. It's draining. And recently they've gotten friends that they spend all day every day with and the only thing they talk to me about is this friend. I'm probably looking into it too much, but I don't know if that means what I think it means. I just feel so lonely.

[littlelionfinn]

Talking about (SFW) Agere here; please be kind if interacting! Just some rambles; feel free to ignore Something really interesting Ive seen is that a lot of people will unconsiously adjust their behaviour to match a regressor; even when completely unaware that they regress. I often exhibit a lot of my regression traits unknowingly and while of course there will be people who look at you strange; most people will match the behavior and take on a more protective role in the situation; or will join me in the childish behaviour. I think its super neat; I think its a good marker of how humans have an inbuilt reaction to childish behaviours leaning towards protective. I guess it must be because of how we raise kids for so long ect. Its also neat because usually i dont have to out right tell someone of my regression; but they’ll just think im a little childish sometimes. An extreme example was the week I was regressing so hard that it was easier to just take my comfort plushie everywhere rather than leave it and slip. it would have left me so distressed and its not something I wanted to risk. Everyone who saw or talked to me were either ignoring the plush; or they’d go out of their way to talk about him nicely; compliment him ect. I never got a bad interaction with him; other than a couple side eyes.