Tw: violence, swearing, injury and a lil bit of misogyny
3.5k words - no use of y/n
I wanted to bulk out the story a little bit more but I've been busy so it’s rushed - thats why the bf character feels a bit random. I couldn’t do a sad ending guys I’m sorry I’m too much of an empath ❤️
꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱
Winters in Jackson are always the worst part of the year in Ellie’s opinion. She hates the bitter cold wind, the stricter patrol routes and the early mornings spent fumbling in the dark. But this year she seems to be filled with a particularly strong hatred. This OBVIOUSLY has nothing to do with your recent acquisition of a boyfriend. No. She JUST really hates the season. And seeing you cuddle up to Simon by the fire is just an added (shitty) bonus.
Your friendship started when you were both about 14 years old. Ellie was still very new to Jackson and let’s just say her attitude didn’t lend her well to the other kids. She spent a lot of those first few months alone, talking to Joel and Tommy on occasion - but ultimately keeping to herself. That was until a certain wide eyed girl managed to worm her way into her heart.
June was fastly approaching - making the air both muggy and suffocating. Drenched in sweat from a long day at the stables, Ellie sat hunched over in the dining hall beside Joel. The girl was inhaling a plate of mash potatoes with such intensity she barely had time to register you approaching.
“I like your dinosaur shirt” you stuttered shyly
Ellie, mouth still full of potato, replied “tha-nks” spewing potato everywhere.
“Ellie.” Joel said sternly, whipping the potato from his beard.
“Sorry” she mumbled as she finished her mouthful and began to wash it down.
Ellie turned and caught you trying to hide your giggles at the exchange. The poor girl couldn’t help but join in - much to the dismay of Joel who became a victim once again, this time to the onslaught of Ellie’s water. Fearing for the lecture that would ensue, Ellie quickly bolted. You grabbed her hand as she sprinted past. The echoes of your combined laughter filled the hall as you raced down and into the street. Once you had caught your breath, you grabbed Ellie into an embrace so hard it knocked the air right back out of her. You faintly whispered “that's the most exciting thing I’ve done in weeks” In that moment you became inseparable.
Well until Simon entered the picture.
You had only been dating a few months and already Ellie was SICK of him. She was supposed to be YOUR best friend not some third wheel. ESPECIALLY not to a loser who works at the bakery and completely stole her girl. Sure you weren’t actually ‘hers’ but try telling Ellie’s heart that. Since she saw your bright smile on that summer's day, she was a goner. She tried for years to get over her feelings (even using Cat) but to no avail.
Her heart still skipped a beat when she looked into your eyes, and filled with longing every time you left the room. What broke her heart even harder though, is knowing you would never feel the same.
At least that's what she thought.
You had always been conflicted when it came to your feelings about Ellie. She’s your best friend. Yet, you always felt drawn to her in a way that may be a little too deep past the realms of platonic. So when Simon asked to take you to the fall dance at the Tipsy Bison you leapt at the chance to straighten out your confused heart (in both sense of the word). Truly. You did like Simon. He was easy to talk to, attractive and fun to be around. Logically, it made sense to be his girlfriend. But no matter how many dates or late nights you spent together, you still caught yourself dreaming of the green eyes and freckles that had already captured your heart.
It was a crisp Monday afternoon. The frosty air bit at Ellie’s fingers as she brushed shimmer’s mane. It had been an exhausting day covering Jesse’s shift at the stables. He owed her big time. The only thing that kept her going was the thought of seeing you later. Your weekly movie night has become an unspoken tradition at this point. When Sal finally let her go, she raced home to shower before you arrived. However, it appeared her haste was not needed as at 6pm (your regular arrival time) you were nowhere to be seen. Ellie tried not to worry, she knows how easily patrols can over run, especially with the weather at the moment. But when 7pm rolled around, without so much as a knock, she knew something must be up.
Ellie hastily threw on one of Joel’s jackets, not able to bear the anxiety any longer. She marched out the front door and all the way to the front gates. She opened her mouth to ask your whereabouts but her voice died in her throat. On the radio she could hear you screaming in fear.
Your partner had left you for dead as a horde of infected chased you both through a shopping mall. You had fallen from your startled horse and badly broken your left leg. You were able to drag yourself inside a store and close the shutters. However, you knew they wouldn’t hold long under the sheer weight of infected pounding against them. Desperately, you pleaded for support on the radio only to be met with the same response.
“I’m sorry but you are part of the last patrol for the day. We have sent Tommy and Joel but it will be at least an hour until they are with you”
“I know bu-” you begin to argue until your radio cuts out.
Ellie’s blood runs cold. Without thinking, she snatches the radio from the guard’s hand and frantically yells incoherently into it. She tries everything to get your attention but it is clear whatever she says doesn’t reach you.
The next hour is the most torturous of Ellie’s life. The guards at the gate had to physically restrain her to prevent her running into the night after you. Eventually, Jesse and Dina showed up and talked some sense into her. But that does nothing to quell her anxiety. She paces up and down imagining every horrible way the infected could end your life. The jarring image of your beautiful face covered in blood is something she doesn’t think she’ll ever unimagine. Her spiralling thoughts are abruptly cut off by yells from the gate. She sprints over to witness your patrol partner jumping off Autumn, YOUR horse. She sees red. Without warning, she smashes into him - knocking him to the floor. Her knuckles drip with scarlet drops as she beats into his cowardly face. “ELLIE” Dina cries as Jesse tries to pull her off him without success. “You-you left her” Ellie screams as her voice begins to break. Tears stream down her face and splatter onto his swollen jaw. This momentary lapse in strength allows Jesse to pull her off him. “Thats enough let him speak now Ellie”
The man was in his late 50s and did not take kindly to this sort of treatment. Streaks of blood, mixed with Ellie's tears ran down his face. The fury in his eyes was apparent as he sat up. If it had been any other situation, Ellie would have laughed at the sight. His temper so apparent steam might as well have been coming from his ears. As he pulled himself from the red stained snow, he spat at Ellie’s feet.
“Now don’t go blaming me for that stupid bitch. It’s not my fault she can’t control that bleedin’ horse. Infected brought mine down and even though I practically leapt onto her this old girl carried me all the way back. No problems.”
The crowd went silent in disbelief. It was one thing to leave a partner in a life or death situation, but to completely berate them? Even Maria was stunned into silence. Nobody dared say anything, they just stared horrified at the man in front of them. You were not the most popular of the town’s youth - it's hard to compete with the likes of Dina and Jesse - but you were well loved in the community. As if dropping the leash of a rabid dog, Jesse relinquished his hold on Ellie as she pounced on the man. Every emotion she had ever felt could never compete with sheer hatred that consumed her. It was like someone had turned every dial inside her brain up to 100. The sound of blood filled her ears, drowning out the cries of the crowd. Blood splattered against her fists in harsh squelching sounds until suddenly everything went dark.
Ellie’s eyelids felt heavy as she adjusted to her surroundings. She could feel a bed beneath her. She was pretty sure it was hers, but didn't have the strength to open her eyes. She felt around to grab your hand and confirm her surroundings when the memories came pouring back in. She bolted upright and sat paralysed in fear. The pounding in the back of her head from where she had been stuck got worse as the sounds of your screams filled her ears. Faintly, she could hear a knock at her door. She registered the sound as it increased in volume. Joel opened the door and his heart broke at the sight of his girl so distraught. Ellie’s eyes searched Joel’s for answers, a silent plea. Joel opened his mouth but she could tell the news was not good. “We got to the mall and the shop she was hol’ up in but the entrance had completely caved in. I’m so sorry kiddo.” And just like Ellie’s world came crumbling down around her. A choked sobbed escaped her lips as Joel continued to speak. But it fell on deaf ears.
Frigid air slashed at Ellie’s face as she rode through the woods towards the mall. Tommy and Joel had found the remains of the store you hid in but not you. They hadn’t found you. A glimmer of hope had slipped inside Ellie as Joel recounted the story of the previous evening. When they entered the building the shutters that barricaded the entrance were not the only thing that was broken. A small window in the back of the store had been smashed. Joel warned Ellie that the break didn’t look fresh and that they searched the surrounding area with no signs of you. However, Joel knows how alike he and Ellie are and could hardly fault her determination. He and Tommy agreed to send a search party once the horde had fully cleared the area, but that wouldn’t be for another day or so. She pleaded with them but Tommy didn’t want to risk more lives in a potentially fruitless pursuit. Joel knew this would not stop his girl and offered to ride alongside her. However, when he arrived at the stables early the next morning, she was long gone.
The mall had once been a place of opportunity, brimming with potential, but that was long before the cordyceps took over. It had since been reclaimed by nature - overrun with bodies and shrubbery alike. None of this concerned Ellie as she searched the premises for any sign of her girl. Yet, the stench of death unsettled her as it reminded her of the potential for what she may find.
She scoured the entire building from top to bottom before widening her search. The clothing store you had been in was on the 2nd floor of the mall, meaning any injuries you had sustained from jumping would not be light. Luckily, the heavy snow that had set in as of late would have broken your fall slightly. Ellie had never felt so regretful of her hatred towards winter. She wished she could take back every time she had cursed the snow knowing it may be one the only things that kept you alive. If you were still alive. But that’s not a concept Ellie can handle right now. Her only focus is finding you. Alive. You have to be alive.
It was nightfall before Ellie allowed herself to rest. BUT 5 minutes is ALL she would allow herself. A snack, some water and back to her search. Unfortunately for Ellie even her best laid plans were beginning to unravel. 5 minutes became 10 became 15 until she ended up sound asleep.
The sunlight began to warm Ellie’s face as she slowly rose from her slumber. She rolled over in a bid to go back to sleep, only to be met with a face full of snow. She groaned as she was reminded once again why winter was her least favourite season. Her disgruntled thoughts were soon interrupted by memories of the previous evening as guilt started to gnaw away at her. In a tired haze she packed up her bag and resumed her search.
The sun had now fully risen as Ellie became more impatient in her quest to find you. She left shimmer to rest and set out to finish the day on foot. Birds taunted her with their cheerful cries as hopelessness bled into her thoughts. The reality of her situation became all too apparent as she began to realise she may actually lose you for good. Not only that, but she would never even get to tell you how she really feels. Her vision blurred as tears threatened to spill down her frostbitten face. Distracted by wiping her eyes, she tripped and toppled into the snow.
The jarring coldness hit her. But Ellie just allowed herself to sink into the snow bank. All her resolve beginning to melt away like the pile of slush she lay in. Dark hair fanning out around her against the bed of glistening white. The delicate strands catching flecks of snowflakes that shimmered in the pale winter sun. Silence wrapped around her like a blanket, heavy and calm, as if the world had paused just to hold her in that quiet moment. She comforted herself with memories. Movie nights spent together cuddling in her bed, patrols where you would talk for hours, the time you got so drunk she had to sleep in the stables with you to “keep the horses company”. She smiled sadly, already missing the sweet sound of your laughter. As she fell deeper into memories she imagined that you were beside her, thinking back to the comfort and safety of those nights sleeping together. The calming sound of your breathing that helped soothe her to sleep. Ellie rolled over. Her breath rose in soft clouds above her lips, barely disturbing the stillness of the world around her. Finally, she opened her snow-clad eyelashes. Around her, the snow was mostly untouched—smooth, pure, save for the shallow imprint of your form.
Your hair was coated in glistening, crystals of frost. Your jacket, barely distinguishable under the thick layer of white. And your face - so pale it almost matched the frost that surrounds it. Ellie could have sworn you were real. Yet the way you sparkled in the light gave the illusion of otherworldlyness. She always thought you were beautiful but in this light she could have sworn you were heaven sent. She got closer and your shallow breaths got louder. This snapped her out of her transfiction. You were real. You were here. But you might not be for much longer.
The next few minutes are a blur as she bundled you in her coat and sprinted to where she had left shimmer. Once you were both on her back, you raced back to Jackson. She never took her eye off you for more than a moment on the painstakingly long ride. As she held your shivering form, she vowed she would tell you how she feels as soon as you wake. She swore to never let you get hurt again. A wave of relief washed over Ellie as she saw the gate in the distance. “She needs help” she screamed the second she entered the vicinity.
It took a whole day for you to wake up and Ellie refused to leave your side for even a second. She stared at your sunken eyes and hollow face wondering how different things could have been if she had been even a few hours later to finding you. In your escape you had not only broken your other leg but sustained some pretty nasty bruises and injuries to the rest of your body. You had lost a lot of blood but the heavy snow had covered your tracks causing Ellie to not realise the extent of your condition. The doctor said you were lucky to have been found when you were, which made Ellie's stomach drop. How could she have been so careless in her rescue attempt. Falling asleep, waiting till morning to leave, hell even just laying in the snow RIGHT BESIDE YOU. Her thoughts raced with guilt and shame until she felt something touch her hand. She looked down to see your fingers interlocking with hers. She looked up to see your eyes shining at her with a big lopsided grin on your face. “I knew you would find me” you whispered. “I was so scared… You scared me…I have to tell you som-” Ellie began to stutter but was interrupted by the opening of the door. “Babe, I'm so glad you're ok” Simon said as he rushed to your side. He embraces you and Ellie silently dies inside. She can’t believe she would be so stupid. To delude herself into thinking you two could be something more. That she could mean as much to you as you do to her. She turns to walk out the door.
“Ellie, wait!” You say, pushing your boyfriend to the side. “It's fine I’ll catch you later” she mumbles wishing the ground could swallow her up. “Ellie Williams! You just saved my life. You are staying right here until I say so, ok?” She looks up at you as she turns red. Suddenly, Ellie feels the air get knocked out of her system as someone bear hugs her. “Thank you, thank you for saving my girl, thank you” Simon says as he holds her tightly. Ellie sighs, she wishes she could hate him. It would make this whole situation so much easier for her. “I’ll give you two a minute” he says as he lets her go. Simon kisses you on the forehead before scurrying out the room, giving Ellie a cheesy thumbs up on the way. You grin as he leaves, completely smitten. The guilt rises in Ellie’s chest. She wishes she didn’t have feelings for you, she really did. But it’s hard not to fall for someone as pretty and selfless as you.
“Ellie just say it already you're killing me here” Shit how long has she just been staring at you. She glances at the floor again and sits down beside you. “I thought you were gonna die” She starts as her voice begins to break. “And I couldn’t bear the thought of living without telling you how I really feel… Well umm. The truth is. I… Fuck shit I just wanted to say.. To tell you-” Her sentence dies in her throat as she feels your hands on her face. “Can I?” you say, staring at her lips. Stunned Ellie just nods, unable to process if this is really happening. You lips meet and Ellie can’t help but think that if she were to die right now she would do so willingly. When you eventually pull apart, she can’t help but just stare. “But Simon?" she stutters. You can’t help but giggle softly at her shocked expression, which in turn just confuses her more. “We broke up about a week ago, Els. He said he could tell my heart wasn’t in it. I told him I couldn't keep pretending I wasn’t in love with my best friend.”
“Oh yeah. That. He’s too embarrassed to tell his mum. We agreed to pretend to still be dating until the winter dance because his mum made us matching outfits”
Ellie just stared dumb founded. “I’m sorry Els. I know it's a lot to process right now and I swear I was going to tell you. And when I was out there I was worried I was going to die and never tell you how I feel and I know its-” Now it was Ellie’s turn to cut your rambling off with a kiss.
Winters has never been Ellie’s favourite season but this year her cold heart seems to have thawed out. Sure she still hates the wind, the shorter days and the ice being too slippy. But now she has someone to keep her warm.
