every time I fumble w my phone’s charger cable I think about emailing steven moffat a pipe bomb
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@littlesteviebarnes
every time I fumble w my phone’s charger cable I think about emailing steven moffat a pipe bomb
pro tip “he freed his erection” is the most useful phrase in any smut writer’s arsenal because it means never having to figure out a dude’s pants situation. how did he do it? were there zippers? buttons? some kind of bizarre lacing situation? maybe he cut off his pants with scissors. maybe it was a wizard. maybe it busted out like the hulk busts out of his shirts. no one knows. no one cares. his dick is out now and that is all that matters. thank you helpful dick wizard.
happy ten year anniversary to the dick wizard
Andrew Garfield on consent and privacy
Steve From “Blue’s Clues” Just Checked In On “The Kids He Raised” And Gave Them A Safe Space To Offload After Donald Trump’s Election Victory.
Interestingly, Steve doesn’t even speak in the 59-second video, but appears to give viewers a comforting presence as he enters the outdoors shot and “offers them” a hot drink.
And many of the comments thanked Steve for offering them this safe space, with one person writing: “As a trans man, I felt this to my core. I took the breath with you then started bawling. Thank you.”
“The man who is a staple of my childhood didn’t say a single word and it brought me to tears. Steve, thank you. I don’t know where we go from here,” somebody else wrote.
Another popular comment reads: “He didn’t say A WORD and said everything at the same time. This man should be guarded at all costs.”
“Neither of my dads checked in on me today. But you did Steve. Thank you,” one more acknowledged.
“So much responsibility on Steve’s hands to make sure we are okay. We need to make sure he’s doing okay too. I mean I’m not doing great, but he’s still looking after the kids he raised,” somebody else added.
While another concluded: “I bet you didn’t think you’d still be raising us all these years later, Steve, but thank you for still being here.”
I met Steve at Comic Con a couple years ago. I told him, “thank you for being there for me as a kid when it felt like no one else was. He responded “no, thank you for all your help; without you, I’d still be trying to figure out what Blue wanted for her snack!” and I had to try very hard not to cry, he was so nice.
you have to outlive donald trump
imagine how funny the internet will be on the day he dies.
i cant 😭
Joseph Quinn for Interview Magazine
y'know what, people should not be able to resell on ticketmaster above the price the tickets were originally listed at
like
it should not be possible to use ticketmaster as a side hustle, this should be impossible and forbidden
How we feeling, MCR soldiers?
i actually think that ticketmaster and event venues deserve to be shot in the back of their heads so maybe they'll bring down these fucking ticket prices. mofo tf u mean service fee? tf u mean facility charge? tf u mean order processing fee? tf u mean $600 for nosebleed seats? go fuck your fucking selves.
my teeth were perfectly designed to tear abd rend the soft white flesh of the gentle beast known as the mozzarella
"We've all got to be fighting that fight every day."
Happy Pride, everyone...
sometimes instead of “why can’t they just be friends” i think it should be “why can’t they also be friends” because sometimes shipping feels much too much like forcing two pretty characters to kiss and be intimate without actually being interested in the dynamic the two people have. what about hanging out together. what about why they like being in each others company. what do they argue about. how do they patch things up. what do they laugh about.
best tag on this post
Parts of the country where self-service gas pumping is illegal.
I didn’t know about New Jersey’s law so imagine my shock when a pump jockey sprinted at my car and kicked my door shut when I tried to get out to get gas. I rolled down my window and asked him “Is there a law against pumping your own gas or something?” And he looked at me like I’M nuts and just said “…yes?”
okay but imagine this in the reverse. when i left new jersey as a driver for the first time and sat in my car for about ten minutes wondering where the attendant was until a nice man tapped on my window and just said the words “New Jersey?” and when I nodded he told me to get out of the car so he could teach me how to pump gas (and nicely didn’t laugh at me when I shot gas out of the nozzle across the side of my car).
me and the boys (all from new jersey) went on a road trip out of state and had to get gas and it ended up being sort of a Group Puzzle for the gang as we huddled around the gas pump and nozzle and tank and whatnot. just picture five people standing around the gas tank opening like its part of an escape room. it was very silly.
I remember the first time I took a road trip outside of NJ for longer than just a few hours I kept making my friend pump the gas cause my mom instilled such a fear of it into me. I'm now regularly taking 12+ hour road trips each way and barely thinking about it.
“Kill them with kindness.” Of course. Just make sure you do kill them.
Came to me in a dream