Game Changer & Make Some Noise
oozey mess
No title available
Cosimo Galluzzi
No title available
noise dept.
shark vs the universe
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Mike Driver
sheepfilms
Keni
The Bowery Presents
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
blake kathryn
KIROKAZE
Phantogram Three
Claire Keane
Love Begins
Fieri Frames
seen from Belgium
seen from Romania
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Venezuela
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from France
seen from China
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Bangladesh
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Germany
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from United States
@littlethings-inpoetry
it’s funny
how I’m supposed to be an adult now.
like a decade passed
or some magical development happened
between 16 years and 364 days
and 17.
like I’m not still a kid
somehow I’m supposed to know what’s happening
even though my body is still stuck with the ache of the trauma that soaked into my behaviors and my bones.
I’m not grown up,
I don’t feel like a grown up,
but now I’m squeezed by people telling me that I am.
[tw: troubled teen industry, abuse]
you were supposed to heal me
but you made me suffocate my soul so bad
that i still can't feel it
you said it was my fault i wasn't getting better.
but i was one of your orchids
slowly dying
until a touch of affection made me love you.
you starved me just so you could swoop in
and play savior
like you didn't design
the hell that i was living in.
i was a profit to you.
i hate that no one saw me for what i was
a kid.
i was a child
i didn't deserve to have my worth measured in points.
i didn't deserve that.
i don't deserve to still doubt myself every day
i'm so tired of remembering my pain.
the thing about troubled teen industry trauma is that every single ‘good’ or supposedly good adult in your life becomes complicit in your abuse, some of them for real, some in your mind (it doesn’t matter to your brain, it’s equally destructive to you) and therefore part of the betrayal trauma.
your pediatrician who knew you since you were a baby
your babysitter from when you were a little little kid who your mom still has lunch with every so often
your outpatient therapist and or psychiatrist
your teachers from the school you went to before being Sent Away
your neighbors
your parents friends
your friends parents
your guidance counselor
the special education department in the school you would’ve been attending if you were normal
the therapeutic day schools that could have actually helped you, that should have, but wouldn’t let you even apply because your behaviors got worse after being Sent Away for some completely inexplicable reason
your IEP/504 team
ER staff, nurses, EMTs, psych ward staff
extended family members who you actually cared about and who cared about you
your parents, obviously. tragically.
not adults but most friends you had on the outside, if you had any, if the ones you might have had haven’t forgotten about you or written you off as retarded or insane or both
literally, the only people who could even possibly be safe are:
the other mentally ill children (who are often laterally harming each other)
peers on the outside who validate you but can’t really help either
any adult exceptions, adults who are neither able to truly help but also are not gaslighting you. can be broken into a few categories:
outside adults who validate your experience but have no power to intervene so like. they’re safe but leave you feeling helpless. they confirm that something bad is happening and also they can’t save you
staff who are good, who are kind and caring and treat you like a human being, who you get attached to because your own parents are the ones who sent you there, and then quit as soon as they realize the true nature of the industry, because they’re good people, as good as a human could reasonably be, genuinely, but they leave and it hurts and when you’re a teenager living in an abusive institution, it’s extremely hard if not impossible to see why they’re leaving from the outside. it just feels like abandonment. your nervous system processes it as abandonment. so, not actually safe. not to you. not dangerous or bad, not as people. but ultimately not safe to you.
staff who make you feel good, who know all the right things to say, who know how much power over you they have, who know how isolated and desperate you are, and then use that to abuse you in more personal ways than the general institutional abuse (emotionally abuse/sexually abuse/grooming/etc) so they are both giving you what you desperately need and also further abusing you
honestly we don’t know which of the last two categories hurt worse.
we are just stuck in the body of the enemy. forever.
I am reblogging this to my main account instead of my reblog account because it is SO. EXTREMELY. TRUE. this sums up how I feel about every single staff I liked, and I wanted to add:
former tti kids who publicly speak out about their experiences and call for the institution they were at to be shut down usually have to stop speaking out because the owners threaten a defamation/slander lawsuit, which is expensive as fuck but the owner can afford it because they keep on grifting off of ‘bad’ children and clueless parents.
a girl smothered by cards
paper is thin and light until it’s 16 months, 497 days and 497 pieces, piled on top of you.
a weight that you barely notice as each card weighs you down a little more
and your body poisons itself
with noradrenaline and cortisol
you don’t know
that the paper is hurting you
until they take it off
like they didn’t just
crush you
mold you
shame you
deprive you
and expect you to come out
perfect
when in reality
anyone who experienced that
couldn’t possibly be
anything but numb.
so…
it’s been a while. But I wanted to announce that I have officially signed up for my first open mic! 😬😁
a few months ago, I chose a pen name for myself- “illegible”
you can find me on instagram and threads @/cori.illegible, where I’m frequently active.
you never wore your bracelet
only kept it in your pocket
I would sit in the dark at night
and trace my hands along that bracelet
wondering if you did the same
I still do wonder
and now I know you dont.
I haven’t read this book yet but it looks really good! And the author seems really nice from what I’ve seen on her socials, too.
Photography below the cut, don’t click unless you want the pictures to become pixels.
Random assortment
hey y’all I’m so sorry that I’ve been inactive! Some things came up, unfortunately, but I’ll be back a bit!
I’m alive
hey guys I’m alive I just went to treatment for 18 months
Asymmetry
permanence?
or
impermanence
forever
will
be:
freckles
stop signs
scars
but
clothing
sunburns
scars
cant
always
be
ours
partial face reveal + poem with tw for um su1cidal thoughts/sh (implied not explicit)
and no??? I don’t live in Alaska do you really think I’d be wearing a tshirt if I did -_-
hey y’all I’m so sorry that I’ve been inactive! Some things came up, unfortunately, but I’ll be back a bit!
I almost cried when saw your name today
it’s a pretty easy name to spot;
Some days I’m reading something about music
or just scrolling in general.
I wanna say that I love you, M.
but it’s not true, is it.
Have you seen a girl who brings the sunlight around with her,
lighting her up, bright golden sparkling across her hair, her face, her divine eyes and perfect freckles?
have you seen a girl who makes you smile so hard that you know you’ll never forget, no matter what they say?
have you seen a girl who makes you scared to speak, but when you do, it becomes soft clasped hands and laughs and saying “yes, I have a date”
have you seen a girl who reminds you, with the carefree beauty of her laugh and the melody of her eyes flicking over to yours, that living this long was worth it?
have you seen a girl sweet and warm like a tangerine in the summer, and whispered that you’ll never tell her to go?
hey for anybody who doesn’t know I have a blog that’s just poetry and I post more stuff on here ❤️
ever since you left, ever since we called it off, I’ve been seeing you everywhere. How could I not, since we met from seeing each other everywhere. really, it’s over.
but I keep getting your E-Mails.
I’ll admit-sometimes I read them. Just… when I want to know. How you are. Even though they’re not even from your main account. i noticed that you still haven’t changed your username. It’s past February 12th… were you too busy thinking about how to dump me to change it?
I also checked your insta
I wish that you would follow me
I wish that you would talk to me
I wish that you could love me
but I know you can’t
happiness isn't all its cut out to be.
it's a feeling, and it's there for a moment,
it's a face, then it fades for a moment
its not me, but it might be for a moment.
