Hello your blog sustains me. What are your thoughts on rockfish? Which species are the Best? Which are the Worst? How do you know?
Welcome, everybody, to ABSea, the host of tonight's episode of The Beachelor: Rockfish Edition! I'm sure you already know the rules, but here's a recap, just in case. On this show, we present you, our lucky viewer, with tonight's catch of eligible beachelors. By the end of the show, you'll have three choices to select from- and don't forget to place your votes in the tags, reblogs, and comments! By the end of the day, we'll tally them all up and present you with the winner!
Now, onto our contestants.
Coated in his classic crimson colorscheme, the Rougheye may look generic for a rockfish. But behind this scarlet facade is one of the longest-living fish alive. That's right- the Rougheye Rockfish was once caught at 205 years old! Like a fine wine, the older the Rougheye gets, the sweeter. He gets his name from the small spines that line his lower eyelid, but don't let that rough exterior fool you- he's sweet inside, but firm when it counts.
Pros: Long-lived, beautiful fashion sense
Pachy here is another absolutely lovely specimen of rockfish. This fish is radiant in more ways than one, however- she was once caught in Japan with about 250,000 beqcuerels of radioactive cesium per kilogram! Her last name means "wide head", which checks out, because let's face it- Pachy isn't the brightest fish of the bunch. Despite this, though, Pachy is very loving. She's warm enough to melt your heart- and with that radioactivity, maybe also a few other vital organs.
Pros: Energy efficient, and has a radiant smile!
Cons: Dense- it takes a lot to get through her thick skull.
She's adventurous- both by lifestyle and by fashion sense. Yes, this Beachelor only goes to prove the common phrase: every rosethorn has its rockfish, or whatever. She's used to living in cracks along cave walls, so she's hardy and adaptable! Although, someone should've told her stripes and spots are so last season.
Pros: Unashamed to be herself, utterly beautiful.
Cons: Her specific name, helvomaculatus, means "yellow spotted", despite her spots being pink. Maybe she's colorblind- or just stubborn.
Well, my fine finned folks, that's it for tonight's cast of eligible beachelors. Don't forget to cast those votes in the comments, tags, and reblogs- we'll catch you all back up with the winner later tonight. Until next time, this has been- the Beachelor!
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