Wine N Dine | @ Cook
Liv battled back and forth with the idea of moving back to Bristol. She loved her apartment in Clevedon; it was big and hers but being isolated from everyone else was starting to get old. She missed the night life and being in a house full of people. Now that college was back in session, Maude wasn’t around as much. Getting a pet was out of the question since she was bound to lose interest in it eventually. So she spent her nights out with ‘clients’ who were too boujee to really know how to have a good time. She made good money but going back to Bristol was sounding more promising each day.
It was the middle of the day and Liv had been spending the weekend at her mum’s house while she was out of town on yet another ‘finding yourself’ excursion. She was surprised to hear from Cook, let alone being invited over to his place for dinner. She was suspicious that something was up since he wasn’t usually the one to initiate playing house.
After texting him for the address she decided to get showered and dressed in time to leave the house once the sun went down. The place where Cook was staying wasn’t too far away, so she opted on walking there. Bristol was home. Liv knew the streets in and out. She stopped in a small shop to purchase a cheap bottle of wine. It was really dark out now even though it was just past five. She got to the house a little later and paused to survey the neighborhood. It was a little uppity. Whoever owned the house was making decent money. Liv didn’t ask too many questions and Cook wasn’t one to offer up information…
She knocked on the door and waited. Liv looked down at what she was wearing and shrugged her shoulders; yoga pants and a over sized cropped sweater…it was comfy, cute but definitely lazy.
Cook was enthusiastic with the idea of having Liv over. JJ was out for the night and definitely not coming home. He had found himself a lass that he was enjoying. Cook wasn’t going to push for answers. The more space between the two boys the less drama. Cook mostly needed to make up for being a bad mate. He picked up the slack around the house. Garbage taken out before work. Putting his dishes away and even cleaning up his room. It was plain. All he really had was a bed and a dresser. Cook didn’t care much for furniture. He figured that he could order some type of food. Cook wasn’t too savvy with cooking and if Liv was fine with it then why try harder than that? He liked their slack relationship, whatever it was.
They hadn’t seen each other in awhile, which made him wonder if she would be okay with him contacting her. A date. A real date in his mind. Cook had muscled up the courage to talk to her. He wanted to put something on the table. A nice dinner would be fine. Cook ordered sushi to be delivered and it arrived a little before Liv did. He heard the knock and Cook straightened out his shirt. Nothing too fancy. He opened the door and grinned at her. “Welcome, not too shabby?” Cook lifted his brows and invited her in. The place had turned into a definite bachelor pad. No more floral items or wallpaper. Cook had painted and had JJ remove anything that had lace. It was more modern, like his first apartment.
“Spent a bit’a time makin’ this place not look like a grandmum’s.” He laughed and saw the wine in her hand. “Hope ya like sushi. I’ve… never’ad it but I figured it was worth a try. Ordered it. Never could make the shit me’self.” She was following him to the kitchen but Cook stopped and met her face to face before they entered. “I meant it when I said I missed ya, Livvy.” Cook grinned again and touched her cheek before he kissed her.
“There’s nothing wrong with old decor. Vintage,” she said with a smile. It brought back memories of living with Alex in his grandmother’s house. They talked for awhile after finishing college but eventually lost contact with each other. Alex was busy traveling the world, Liv always told him she’d be here when he got back.
Even if the neighborhood did seem older, the house didn’t look like it belonged to anyone’s grandparents. It was definitely a bachelor’s pad. Liv looked around taking it all in while Cook talked about dinner. He stopped abruptly and turned to look at her. She smiled when he kissed her. Liv didn’t think anything of it, except that it seemed more sincere than usual. The last time they’d seen each other was the holiday they went on in Spain. Even though they kept making plans to meet up; it was Liv most of the time who would have something else come up.
“Mmm prove it,” she said snaking her arms around his neck. She pulled him in for another kiss; it was slow, deep. She played with his lips, alternating between licking and biting. Liv broke the kiss and held the bottle of wine up in between them. “We should open this.”
The kiss had lingered longer than expected. Cook didn’t mind. He had missed her and this felt a little warming than usual. Liv made sure they kissed even longer. Better too. He grinned when she moved from him and held the wine up. Cook didn’t care much for the drink. Just like champagne. He drank it when there was nothing else. JJ didn’t like Cook stocking up on a lot of booze in the house. He agreed on the rules. “Good idea.” Cook slipped the bottle from her hands and entered the kitchen. After a few drawers he finally found the corkscrew. A couple of twists and the cork was pulled and two glasses were placed in front of them. Cook filled them a little to high, not really knowing the appropriate amount. He handed Liv hers and took a sip of his.
“So? Where’ave ya been, Livvy?” Cook grinned at her and set the glass of wine down on the counter. He reached for a small remote and hit the play button, setting some mood music for the background. He lifted his arms and brows with a grin. “Thought I’d set the scene a bit. Go’n take a seat. I’ll get the food babes.” Cook didn’t give her a chance to talk just yet. He had too much on his mind. Cook was mostly nervous. Liv definitely joked about this side of him, but he was becoming more serious about it. Why couldn’t they have something more than a shag every once in awhile?
Liv parted her lips to answer Cook’s question when she heard the music start up somewhere in the background. She paused and looked around while Cook explained the need for mood music. He motioned for her to sit and she did. He was out of the room before she could respond. Liv sipped from the glass. She wasn’t sure what to expect. Cook was acting weird, and she immediately guessed this would be different than their usual banter and shagging.
“Are you sure you aren’t dying?” She jokingly called after him to break the awkward silence. “Am I dying?” she added.
Cook was back with the food in hand. He placed it down on the table and Liv looked it over. She was impressed by the different varieties. Even more so than the fact he threw all of this together out of nowhere.
“I don’t think we did anything like this when we lived together. Just a lot of sandwiches and a lot of sex.”
“Dyin’?” He asked and lifted his brows. “Am I dying?“ Liv stated and he returned with the food on different plates. “Yer not dyin’. I wan’d ta do somethin’ nice.” Cook set his glass down and took a spot across the table from her. He managed to convince JJ to get a smaller one, considering they didn’t need a family size dinner table for the two of them. “I don’t think we did anything like this when we lived together. Just a lot of sandwiches and a lot of sex.” He chuckled under his breath and took a drink of wine. He didn’t care much for the taste, but it was better than nothing. Cook knew that Liv would rag on him for trying to do something different. “I don’t think we did anything like this when we lived together. Just a lot of sandwiches and a lot of sex.”
He laughed. Cook picked up a fork and some chopsticks. After setting the wooden pieces to the side he decided to use the fork. “Well.. nah, we didn’ do nothin’ like this. Wan’d ta try somethin’ different.” He took a tuna roll and dipped it into the soy sauce between them. “Ever try this stuff?” He pointed to the fresh ginger and wasabi. Cook didn’t care for spice. Not that he knew what it would really taste like. He finished one roll with a few bites and happy hums. “Is this weird? Yunno? Like.. me invitin’ ya to dinner like this?” He looked at her and wiped his lips with a napkin.
Liv looked over at Cook. It was then she realized he was actually trying to be cute and wasn’t taking the piss. She smiled and shook her head. “No. No its not cause it’s you. I just don’t ever do things like this. With anyone.” Liv took a beat then looked up again when she realized something. Her eyebrows raised. “Holy shit. I’ve never actually been on a real date before.”
She shook her head and chuckled to herself. “ That sounds fucking pathetic doesn’t it?” of course Liv had hooked up with guys but there was never any doing anything besides fucking. And when she did go on dates it was for work. She was too busy being a whole other person so none of that was real.
“Have you been on a date before? You know besides a bar or club and fucking? ” Liv dipped a roll of sushi into the soy sauce. It was actually pretty good. Even if she wasn’t one for raw fish.
“Holy shit. I’ve never actually been on a real date before.” He looked at her oddly. Well… technically Cook wasn’t much of a date go-er either. He wasn’t sure what was the line or not. He definitely remember the first time he tried. “That sounds fucking pathetic doesn’t it?” He shook his head and took another bite of sushi. “Have you been on a date before? You know besides a bar or club and fucking?” He sat quietly and took a sip. “No… not rele… tried to before but never worked out. Wasn’ the best at takin’ girls out anyway. Plus, never’ad cash.” He shrugged and looked up at her with a grin.
“This good fer ya then? Cos I don’ think yer pathetic… never do Livvy.” He set his beer down and grabbed another piece of sushi. He was starting to like the stuff. Cook didn’t mind the raw fish at all. He never had great food after leaving his mums place, not like he liked what she served anyway. “I think yer kinda brave fer showin’ up… If I were you I would’a fled. You’ve seen this mug.” Cook pointed to his jaw sticking out and chuckled when Liv looked up at him.
“Lucky for you I like that mug of yours.” Liv would never tell him how she thought she felt about him way back when. The feelings were still there somewhere but she was good a suppressing things. They weren’t the settling down type. Liv was too jealous and Cook was too reckless. Liv was also very reckless when she got bored in a relationship, and the last thing she wanted to do was lose their friendship.
If it came down to it Cook was someone she could see herself with. Someone who didn’t take themselves too seriously. But there was so much she didn’t know about him. They’d known each other for years now, but what did she really know?
“So tell me something,” she said leaning in to him, taking another bite of sushi. “Anything. About you. Something I don’t know.”
Cook ate a few more pieces of sushi. He was beginning to think the stuff was better than actual food. Even if this was actual food. “So tell me something.” Cook glanced up and wiped his lips. “Anything. About you. Something I don’t know.” He took a sip of the wine and made a face. Not the best for him. He figured Liv would like it. Cook played with the glass and stayed quiet. There were memories that he could think of that he would possibly share. Others he didn’t want to. Cook wasn’t so sure telling her about his childhood was best. There were daring stories. There were sad stories. His eyes looked at her and he realized what would be best to say at that moment.
“I like you.” He looked her in the eyes. “I’ve always liked you. Since we met. Since we shagged’ere n’ there.” He took another drink of wine. Cook realized he wasn’t nervous saying it. There wasn’t much that could happen. He didn’t want to think of the possibilities. “I’ve never told no’ne that. Obviously not you neither.” Cook set his glass down and stared at her.
Liv had to know at some point that Cook liked her. He dropped a lot for her. Saved her ass. Ran on holiday and showed at her doorstep if she asked. Liv had a hold on him that he couldn’t piece together. All he knew was that he liked her.
All she could do was stare. Liv was waiting for Cook to burst into laughter and say he was taking the piss. He was messing with her. It was obvious now. She nodded and sipped on her wine. "Of course you like me. We’re mates. You wouldn’t put up with me if you didn’t.“ She wasn’t finishing for some deep rooted confession. Liv didn’t want to take what he was saying the wrong way. “We’ve lived together. Shagged. Went on holiday together. Shagged. You don’t do that with people you hate.”
She knew he was probably referring to something more than friendship but she wouldn’t acknowledge it. Not until she was sure. The last thing she wanted to do was say something stupid that ended up with her never talking to Cook again. They had a pretty solid friendship. There was no point in ruining it. Or was there?
“I think the real question is… What are you going to do about it? ” She took another sip of wine and placed her glass down on the table all without breaking eye contact with Cook.
“We’ve lived together. Shagged. Went on holiday together. Shagged. You don’t do that with people you hate.” Cook started to shake his head. No. It wasn’t what he meant. He wasn’t sure how to explain it any further. He blatantly said it to her face. Her eyes were looking for an excuse. Even around the room. Oh, it’s too cold in here so you’re acting funny. Possibly it’s the sushi. Cook sighed under his breath and waited for her to stop fussing about the confession. Deep down, she had to know the truth. Cook had always treated her differently. “I think the real question is… What are you going to do about it?”
Finally. They were getting somewhere. The wine was pulled from her lips and she kept her eyes on him. He figured this could go one of two ways. Shagging or talking. He didn’t necessarily want to talk. Hell. They could shag all night, but then again… that meant that Liv would somehow leave because of it. “I don’t want ya ta leave.” He nearly blurted out under his breath. Cook wanted her to stay the night… and the morning. He wanted her to know he wasn’t pissing around with his words. “I mean… depends what you’d like me ta do. Cos I’m not bein’ a pussy’bout it. I want ya. I wanna date ya n’ I’m tired of pretendin’ that I don’.”
Shit. He was serious. Liv couldn’t remember ever hearing Cook be this serious about something. And it was obvious he knew her well. He knew she was the type to run when things got weird for her. He didn’t want her to leave but still Liv found herself eyeing the door. She didn’t think he would be this honest. Now it was her turn.
“You don’t want to date me,” she said picking up her wine again. It was easier to focus on drinking than the truth. Liv licked her lips once she placed the glass down again and sighed. “I’m serious. You don’t. You know me. I fuck about–it’s like a security blanket.”
There was a deep rooted history there and Liv was going to spare Cook the details. He didn’t need to hear about her dad, Matty, or Alex. Hell even the first guy she slept with moved on to something better ten minutes later. “I’m a good time yeah? That’s it. That usually doesn’t last too long.”
“You don’t want to date me,” Cook wasn’t going to take her shit this time. She always tried to convince anyone otherwise. Any time something good could happen to Liv, she left the scene straight away. Cook noticed she wasn’t even looking at him anyway. “I’m serious. You don’t. You know me. I fuck about–it’s like a security blanket. I’m a good time yeah? That’s it. That usually doesn’t last too long.” He took a sip of the drink in front of him and wiped his chin soon after. Cook wasn’t sure she would want to anyway. She didn’t say no. She didn’t have a shit reason for him to not convince her. “So why not change it then?” He balled up a napkin and tossed it in the rubbish bin by the sink.
“Why not give it a chance? If it doesn’ work then it don’t work. We go back. Trust me I can do that.” He had done it before, so why not now? Cook was tired of being alone and he did like Liv. He liked her a lot. Cook hadn’t been able to find someone that he could easily talk to or get along with. “Don’ give me that shit either. You always put yerself down when ya shouldn’ so I’m not gonna believe ya. We got one rule. I don’urt you. You don’urt me.” He lifted his brows and spoke with his hands. Cook wanted to pick her mind a bit. They never got too far into it. If she had a real reason, then he would drop it. Maybe he would drop it.
Liv didn’t want to say no right away. She hated being alone. And Cook was the closest thing to comfort she had.But she didn’t want the dynamic changing even if he promised they could go back to the way they were if it didn’t work out. Would she be able to go back to the way it was? She’d run. She knew that for sure. Liv tried to think of her options. If she agreed, like she really wanted to, she would have to find another job. A job that didn’t consist of her dating different men each night and sleeping with some of them. Then her mind drifted to Sasha. Not that he was a local, so she wasn’t worried about Cook finding out about him or any of the other guys. Instead she thought about how afraid she was to be around him. How she could still feel his hand around her throat as if he’d left a mold there.
She looked at Cook, studying him. If he knew the things she’d done he wouldn’t have wanted to be with her. She was dirty. He liked the person she pretended to be around him. No one really knew Liv. Liv didn’t know Liv. She stared down at her glass to avoid eye contact; fighting the tears that were daring to swell in her eyes. Cook would think it was out of nowhere. He would think she was crazy. The part she played was strong and independent, not some scared little girl.But she was scared. She was terrified. Connor had video tapes of her, and Cook knew Connor.
Finally, she shook her head and looked back at him. “Sorry. Can’t.” If they were being honest, she’d already broken his one rule before they were even together. Her past would catch up to her and that would hurt him. It was inevitable. She was trying so hard to stay composed she could feel herself shaking. “I can’t live in Bristol or London and I can’t b-be–” her voice cracked and she stopped talking long enough to clear her throat and continue. “i can’t be anyone’s girlfriend either. It doesn’t work that way.” Connor would find out, somehow he knew everything. He would revel in that fact that he got the chance to cut her deep. “I’ve waited a long time for you to throw me a bone James Cook so thanks for that. But I’m not your dream girl.”
“Sorry. Can’t.” He wrinkled his brows and stared at her. “Can’t?” He repeated and stared even longer. “I can’t live in Bristol or London and I can’t b-be–” More questions swam around his mind. Why was she pushing so hard? He wasn’t sure if she was pushing him away for no reason or if she was scared. Cook wanted to believe she was just scared. Liv liked him. He knew that. Maybe she didn’t like him as much as he liked her, but hell he was willing to try. That was what life was for. “I can’t be anyone’s girlfriend either. It doesn’t work that way.” Cook swallowed. “I’ve waited a long time for you to throw me a bone James Cook so thanks for that. But I’m not your dream girl.” He licked his bottom lip and sighed under his breath.
“Why? Why not? Maybe I don’ needa girl ta be a dream. Maybe I don’ wanna runway model n’ some gal that makes me breakfast in the morning.” He stared at her from across the thin table area. “Yer not perfect. Neither am I, so why not Livvy? Why not try somethin’ new. We both fuck up, we both just needa see what’appens.” He stared at her even longer and waited for her to speak. Liv looked terrified. Maybe it was him thinking she looked terrified. “If you don’ like me then we can stop this. We don’ needa talk’bout it no more but I think you like me. Even a bit.” Cook moved around the table and stood in front of her. His hands went around her waist and he stared right in her dark brown eyes. “Gimmie a reason. A real reason.”
Liv felt the need to melt into him when she felt his arms around her. Instead she stayed where she stood, fighting the urge to wrap her arms around his neck and pretend like everything was okay. “Of course I like you, ya idiot. I have for awhile….as a friend at first then — more.” She broke eye contact with him and looked anywhere, everywhere. The truth. She’d decided to tell him the truth then maybe he would understand. He’d get a tiny glimpse into the scared little girl she really was. Almost like a secret life she was living. “You know how I…just upped and moved to Clevedon?” She met eyes with Cook then quickly looked away. She would have sat down or walked to the other side of the room if he wasn’t holding on to her.
“We both fuck up…yeah. But it’s like breathing to me.” She was beating around the bush. Liv was fighting herself to get straight to the point. All she had to do was say it. “Fuck..” This time she did breakaway from his embrace. She leaned against the tabled, supporting herself up with her arms. “There’s this bloke. We met him back in college while we were on holiday. Real sod. But our paths seem to keep crossing.” Liv didn’t say Luke’s name. She didn’t care enough about him to mention him by name. “For awhile this bloke I was seeing was working for him, not by choice – but I kept seeing him until L– the wanker made him fuck off. Then I met another bloke and we fooled around a bit. Then he fucked off…so I met another one—” Liv wasn’t looking at him anymore. She wasn’t even sure if Cook was still listening or in the room at this point. “Turns out they both worked for this guy. One of them ended up dead and the other one was real upset that I’d seemed to be making my way around their group of ‘boys’. Turns out the dead guy had these videos of me– of things we did. I don’t know who’s seen them but the last bloke definitely has. He knew where I lived, he knew my family. He has this fucking vendetta against me and– Am I even making since?”
This time she did look up at Cook to see his reaction. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking, not that she ever could. “If he found out about you and hurting you meant hurting me…he would do it. I’m tired of seeing my mates fucked over because of me. I like you a lot Cookie but only bad things exist for me in Bristol and London. And I don’t want to drag you into my mess. That’s not fair to you. Y’know?”
Liv moved away from him and he stared at her. She rattled off. Some bloke that knew a bloke that worked for a bloke. He wondered if it was anyone Louie knew. Cook hoped not. “For awhile this bloke I was seeing was working for him, not by choice – but I kept seeing him until L– the wanker made him fuck off. Then I met another bloke and we fooled around a bit. Then he fucked off…so I met another one—” He started to chew on the side of his cheek as she spoke. “Turns out they both worked for this guy. One of them ended up dead and the other one was real upset that I’d seemed to be making my way around their group of ‘boys’. Turns out the dead guy had these videos of me– of things we did. I don’t know who’s seen them but the last bloke definitely has. He knew where I lived, he knew my family. He has this fucking vendetta against me and– Am I even making since?”
She didn’t want him involved in her life. End of. Cook rubbed under his chin and sighed to himself. “Yer not draggin’ me nowhere. I’ve gotta fresh start. No’ne said nothin’bout that. I don’ care if you got bad boys in the back. We don’ go to Bristol. We do fine. I can fend fer myself. ‘ave always been. ‘member not long ago I wasn’ta free man.” Cook licked his bottom lip and stared at her. His feet slowly brought him over to Liv again. He slid his arms around her waist. This time he let her back touch his chest. “Yer not givin’ me a reason ta say no. Cos I don’ care’bout the rest. I still…” He sighed again. “I still like ya. Always liked ya.”
Liv closed her eyes while Cook held her. She needed to convince herself this wasn’t some sick joke. That Cook wasn’t trying to humiliate her. That wasn’t his style. If these were real feelings, then she was terrified. Her mind was racing but kept ending up back at the idea that this could have been a set up. Cook knew Connor. He’d helped him out in the past. Maybe it was time for him to return the favor? No. Stop thinking like that. Liv turned around to face him. She searched his eyes, scanning his face for any hint of a lie.
Finally she shrugged and sighed. “I don’t know how to do this. I don’t want you fucking breaking my heart. You’re my best mate. You’re the only reason besides my family that I’d even step foot back into this shitty place.” Her stomach was doing back flips, maybe it was the nervous or maybe it was the sushi and alcohol.
“I like you. A lot. More than I should, more than I’m comfortable with– and if you’re taking the piss right now I’ll deck you in your face James Cook.”
“I don’t know how to do this. I don’t want you fucking breaking my heart. You’re my best mate. You’re the only reason besides my family that I’d even step foot back into this shitty place.” Cook stared at her while she spoke. Her lips formed every word easily and he forced himself to listen. She didn’t want to get hurt. It would happen. But what if she hurt him? He couldn’t promise that he wouldn’t hurt her, but he could promise that he’d always be there for her. Cook had gotten better at this. “I like you. A lot. More than I should, more than I’m comfortable with– and if you’re taking the piss right now I’ll deck you in your face James Cook.” Cook smiled at her and put his hands on her shoulders.
“I’m not takin’ tha piss… but I’m not gonna be mad if ya don’ wanna do this. I mean, it’s outta tha blue rele.” Cook tried to smile hard enough. He liked seeing her flustered, but he hoped she wasn’t planning on running now. “Look Livvy, whatever you wanna do. If ya wanna be mates, then we can be mates… I just wan’ed ta let ya know’ow I felt. So… if ya wanna take the leap with me then let’s take tha leap.”
Liv took a step closer to Cook so that she was in his embrace. This had never happened before, the guy coming to her. Of course sexually but never genuinely. She was always the one chasing them.She wrapped her arms around his waist so that they were hugging again. “I want to try,” she mumbled into his shoulder. The house was quiet, still. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence but a part of her was waiting for Cook to say he was joking, she was terrified that this was some sort of sick joke.
She stepped back and ran her fingers through her hair. It was obvious she was flustered and not sure what to do, So much for a normal dinner. She needed another drink. Liv headed to the table and sat back down. Liv looked over at Cook and noticed a softness to him. He’d always been rugged and handsome in a bad boy sort of way but it was rare times like this when he opened up that she was most attracted to him.
“Are you going to come finish dinner with your girlfriend so we can consummate this relationship or are you going to make me eat alone?” She smiled and picked up another piece of sushi.
When Cook sat back down, Liv looked over it him. He would have admitted that this was messing with her by now. She was starting to let her guard down. “How long have you been holding that in?”
Liv admitted she wanted to try. It was at least some weight off his shoulders, but he needed something more than that. Cook held her closer and rocked them back and forth. He listened to the wind outside and her breathing. Cook closed his eyes and enjoyed the embrace. It had been awhile since he had actually felt like this toward someone… of course he had something deeply buried for Liv but it was never the right time. She pulled away from his arms and slowly moved back toward the table. His lips formed a soft smile as he watched her move. It was graceful. She knew she was being watched, but she didn’t change a damn thing. “Are you going to come finish dinner with your girlfriend so we can consummate this relationship or are you going to make me eat alone?”
His smile grew. How could it not? She accepted his offer… she accepted him and them. Cook let out a small sigh of relief and took his spot back at the table. His smile couldn’t be any bigger than this moment. Cook reached for some new pieces and tried to use the chopsticks. He could never get his fingers on the wood right. He dropped a piece already on his plate. “How long have you been holding that in?” Cook glanced up at her and kept his gaze situated on hers. It had been awhile. He couldn’t actually pin point when he decided he needed to say it until now. “Dunno actually.” He knit his brows and put down the chopsticks. Hell, he couldn’t use them. He’d stick to a fork.
“Sorta think it was gradual… like slowly fallin’ fer some’ne.” He was quiet with his words. Cook didn’t necessarily like talking about himself or what he actually felt, but if they were going to be honest and start off on the right foot he needed to step up. “Every time I saw ya… things just sorta felt right. I dunno’ow ta explain it.”
Liv watched his face as he messed around with his chopsticks. This felt surreal, still. She wasn’t expecting some profound, poetic answer to her question. But his answer did make her smile. It was simple, it was a classic Cook answer. “Slowly then all of a sudden. Yeah, me too.” She looked down at her plate and shook the stupid grin off of her face. It would take some getting use to, this was a big move for her even if she was trying to play it off now. Her feelings for Cook had been prominent for awhile but she hid it behind witty banter and ‘meaningless’ sex.
What would take the most time getting use to with all of this was the intimacy, the real intimacy. Being completely open and honest wasn’t her forte; and Liv knew Cook wasn’t very good at it either. She looked up and over at him again, taking it all in. She said she would try and she was willing to give it a shot.
He was playing around with his food, nervous maybe. Liv leaned over the table and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. She pulled him in to her and kissed him, hard. Dinner could wait, she wasn’t even hungry anymore. “Where’s your room?”
It all felt like a small victory, even if Cook couldn’t get a piece of sushi on his damn fork still. Now he wasn’t so hungry. Butterflies swarmed his stomach, which didn’t let him focus much. He was shocked in a way. Liv didn’t give in so easily. Cook didn’t either, but this was something new for the two of them. He saw Liv’s hand reach over the table and grip his collar. Their lips touched and he breathed Liv in. It didn’t last long, but her words were more important than a kiss. “Where’s your room?” He swallowed and stood up from where he sat. Cook reached over for her hand and led her down the thin hallway, up the stairs, and to his room. Everything JJ used to have was gone out of the room now. A blue painted bare wall, a full size bed, and a dresser. It was all Cook needed for now.
He let her enter the room first and closed the door out of habit. It was dark in the room, but he could still see her shining smile and glistening eyes. Cook didn’t know what to do or how to start. It wasn’t just a mindless shag anymore. They were together now, maybe after just five minutes but still it was supposed to mean something more. Her kiss was hungry, but Cook felt frozen. She took the first step toward him but he stopped her from touching him like she wanted to. Cook brushed his fingertips along her jaw and down her shoulders. “I’s differen’ innit?” He half smiled and looked at her soft features. “Will ya stay the night with me?”
At any other time they would have pounced on each other. Liv was definitely ready and willing but there was something different. She noticed a softness in Cook; his tone, his touch. It was almost frightening to her. He seemed so sincere. When he asked her to stay the night she could feel the ‘flight’ in her wanting to take over. This was going to ruin them, her. She was anticipating it. Once she agreed to be with him, everything shifted.
Liv wanted to look at the door, make it towards the door but she couldn’t bring herself to look away from Cook. He was a whole new person standing there. Cook asking, it was almost like he knew she would mostly likely be gone by the morning. But she wouldn’t do that to him would she? Not now? Liv couldn’t even answer the question. She was still trying to figure out how serious she was willing to let this get.
“What are you on about…” she nearly whispered, not really wanting him to answer. It was more of an inside thought vocalized.
“I’ll stay,” she finally said. “We can just lay down for a bit. If that’s what ya want. Massage my bum a little?” She grinned, attempting to break the obvious sexual tension growing on her part.
Liv finally said it. She was staying. Cook feared she’d take off for the morning. He really feared that she would change her mind in just a couple of hours. “We can just lay down for a bit. If that’s what ya want. Massage my bum a little?” He chuckled and shook his head. Cook lifted her and let her legs wrap around his waist. They traveled to the bed, where he lay her down and leaned over her body. She had always been beautiful. Her freckles and smile. Her shining eyes that he couldn’t get enough of. When Cook found someone, he fell hard, just tried to not show it much. His hand touched her cheek and he looked at her lips.
“I’m ‘appy.” He grinned carefully and leaned closer to kiss her. Cook climbed over her body and let himself settle between her legs. It hadn’t been too long since they had shagged, but he was sure they never were a level of intimate like they could’ve been. Cook held back. Liv was too afraid. Half the time she ran. Cook was tired of running. Now with his new life, he had everything to live for. His kiss ran long and passionate, but ended so he could shed his shirt over his head. Cook’s hand slid along her leg and lifted it over his hip with a grin. “Yunno, when ya stay.. it only means that we can do this all ova again in the mornin’…”
This was something they hadn’t tried before. Passion. Liv could sense the difference immediately. It reminded her of past relationships with blokes she was sure she was in love with. This was a scary feeling because she knew it would come to an end and she would be hooked. Cook was breaking down her wall one brick at a time. She put on a front about being carefree in reckless but she did want a partner in crime. The only problem was, whenever she thought she found it, she would end up getting hurt. Most of the time it was because they found someone better. But Liv wanted to believe Cook wouldn’t be the type to stray if he ever got bored of her.
They’d kissed before but this wasn’t like any of those times. Usually it was rushed and aggressive. This time, it was like craving your favorite food then finally getting it. Cook was gentle but strong. She felt protected, like could stay in this blue room with him until they got tired of each other.
He vocalized that he was happy. The smile on his face said it all for him. She was happy too. But terrified. Liv tried to let go of all of the doubts and instead tried to live in the moment. When he mentioned her staying again, she nodded. Her faced relaxed and she got serious for a second. Her hands held the side of his face. Cook was looking directly into her eyes, his hand still holding on to her thigh. “I don’t have to pretend with you, right?” Her voice was just above a whisper. “And you don’t have to pretend for me. If we do this, we do it together. Every step of the way.”
Cook felt her hands on the sides of his face. Her smooth fingertips caressed his cheek. “I don’t have to pretend with you, right?” She was absolutely quiet. Cook licked his lips and waited for her to keep talking. “And you don’t have to pretend for me. If we do this, we do it together. Every step of the way.” Cook nodded. “No pretendin’.” He touched her lip with his thumb and let his head touch hers. “No need fer it, okay? I’m gonna tell ya’ow I feel if ya do too. Jus’ like ya said. We do it togetha.” Cook kissed Liv’s lips and ran his hands down her shoulders. He wanted to kiss her until they passed out. Cook hadn’t been this overwhelmed with feeling in a long time. He couldn’t believe he managed to get the word out and not have Liv run straight for the door.
His lips found her neck and soon her chest. Cook’s fingers spread along her sides and under her clothes. He wanted to keep her here with him. Cook wanted to stay in the happy bubble he initiated the minute Liv walked in the room. His hands slid under her shirt and lifted it off her torso. Cook glanced down at her and pulled Liv into his lap. The two sat up and Cook grinned at her with glistening eyes. “Wanna shag, babe?” Cook joked and saw her smile lighten up. “What? Too much?” He giggled and kissed Liv’s neck. Cook’s hands slid up her back and worked on undoing her bra.
The room felt like a dream, like they were floating inside of the four blue walls. It was quiet. The only sounds were their bodies creating friction and their soft, rushed kisses. Liv could feel the change in Cook. How gentle and sincere he was being. There definitely was a difference there. His walls were down and she was still mentally fighting to destroy her own. His words put her at a temporary peace. She was no longer thinking about running for the door. She wanted to enjoy this. His fingers undid her bra and she moved her arms to maneuver out of it. Her fingertips danced at the him of his shirt, pulling him in for another quick kiss before pulling his shirt over his head. Liv guided her chest up and toward his lips. She wanted to feel his tongue swirl around her nipples. She anticipated the familiar way he would tease her with a light nibble, summoning a moan from her throat.
It didn’t matter that they were taking longer to get to the actual fucking this time around. Their was something sweet and simple about the foreplay. They took their time like they had forever. At least they had the night. Liv hadn’t come to dinner expecting this; maybe just some witty banter and a quick shag. But she’d gotten a lot more after walking through that door.
She gasped then giggled, feeling his teeth on her sensitive skin. Her hands massaged the back of his head, encouraging what he was doing. “Mmm,” Liv hummed and closed her eyes. Cook alternated from her right breast to her left and she giggled every time his teeth would bite down.
He didn’t need to joke or speak any longer. Liv put him in his place, literally. His lips were brought to her breasts and he groaned happily as his tongue traced along her nipple. She moaned. He grinned. Cook had missed this. Not sex itself, but being with someone he truly cared about. Cook had bottled up his feelings for Liv too long now. She knew. They both knew how he felt, but refused to accept it. Cook was terrified her answer would strictly be no and she’d be out the door. Of course, she was a runner. Cook had dealt with many runners, but she was still different. He had a deep connection. More than a mutual understanding on life.
Cook slid his hands up under her breast and palmed the soft skin, bringing her closer to his lips. He licked and sucked lightly. Cook wanted her to feel more than just the lust of what they had. His teeth grazed her nipple and she breathed in sharply. Cook laughed while she giggled. She liked it. More than liked it. Cook was given permission to keep going. One breast to another. He groaned and felt his cock grow harder under his briefs. He settled between her legs and felt them hook behind his body. Her hands trailed behind his head and shoulders. Cook sighed against her skin happily.
His lips touched her skin between her breasts and traveled down. He peppered his soft lips on her hip tattoo. He dragged his tongue along her inner thigh and made sure her knickers were clear from his view. He wanted her to groan in pleasure. More than groan actually. His tongue slid up her slit and he let his lips cover her entrance. Cook pushed his tongue inside her and rotated in a small circle before he gradually would lick at her clit.
Liv inhaled sharply. She’d already been anticipating his touch, already knowing where he was going. She could map out Cook’s moves by now. But what really caught her by surprise was how soft and sensual he was being. Every detail, down to the tip of his tongue. Everything felt warmer and filled with passion. It wasn’t what she was use to; the blind aggression and quick hook ups, some of which even Cook too part in in the past. Nothing she’d done before was like this. This made her stomach turn in knots. It made her squirm. Liv placed her hand on the back of Cook’s head, not to guide him; just to touch him, feel him.
“Ah, babe,” she moaned. Liv lifted herself up onto her elbows so she could watch him work. When his blue eyes looked up at her, she could feel herself smile like a giddy school girl. Then she felt his tongue again and her smile quickly parted to form an ‘o’ as she moaned again.
For once she wasn’t focused on just the sex. She could sit in this dark room going back and forth with the foreplay all night with Cook. It felt fun, relaxed, less like a quick and dirty job. She just wanted to keep touching him. Cook fit like a perfect puzzle piece. He knew what her body like. His tongue was hitting all of the right places. Liv started to squirm away, backing herself up further on to the bed and away from his grip that was liable to make her cum at any moment. But his hold on her thighs was tight. When ever she moved, his tongue and lips followed.
