the gay uncle

Brian. 20. hot gender alien. he/him/his. geekery. gay stuff. too many personal posts

[livinginboyfriendcardigans]

so I have a torn ligament between my lungs and my ribs and it hurts more than anything I’ve ever experienced before, especially when I lie down, bend over, laugh, or breathe, and it’s been three days and it’s barely gotten any better and trying out different Joker makeup looks for Halloween is the only thing that truly distracts me from the pain but other than that everything’s pretty much same old same old

[livinginboyfriendcardigans]

so I became a registered voter yesterday, finally. unfortunately, I’m too late for the primaries. there’s no fucking way Bernie’s gonna win at this point, is there?

I barely slept last night because I couldn’t stop thinking about Trump becoming president (and also because it was 500 degrees with 1200% humidity)

I feel like recently my mental state was been rapidly decaying and I am tired and in pain 24/7 and I no longer enjoy anything

so the prospect of Trump winning is driving me completely out of my mind and I almost threw up from anxiety today

also my left leg is somehow completely numb and in intense sharp pain at the same time

lololol Trump’s gonna win isn’t he hahahaha someone please launch me into orbit

[commongayboy-deactivated2018082]

Mexico legalized same sex marriage too! #LoveWins

[dead-kaworu-deactivated20160711]

first world people better share this im looking at yall

[lilsoutherncuss]

A little bit of light for the community in these dark hours.

[revelmix]

I want to frame this tweet

[scully]

This isn’t just another shooting. 

This is now officially, with over 50 causalities, the worst mass shooting in United States history. And the fact that it took place at a gay club was not merely coincidence. This was not just another act of senseless violence in America. This was a hate crime. 

A man walked into a safe space for the LGBT community with an assault riffle and lined them up and slaughtered them. 

Don’t do what the media is inevitably going to do. Don’t erase where this happened and who this happened to.

When you make your statements for/against gun control, remember this was a hate crime. When you make your statements about the gunman’s reported religious beliefs, remember this was a hate crime. When your politicians make empty promises about changing the way things are, remember this was a hate crime. When you make your statements about the media’s coverage of this, remind everyone this was hate crime. 

Do not gloss over the identities of the victims. They were killed for them. This was a hate crime. 

[livinginboyfriendcardigans]

I am rarely on social media. I don’t have cable anymore. I feel very cut-off from the world sometimes

but the best thing about this was not having to hear about things like Orlando anymore

sometimes it’s nice to just bury your head in the sand and, you know, not be scared for your life every minute of every day

[livinginboyfriendcardigans]

I really could not tell you the exact moment I realized I was trans, you know, like the moment I first connected that word to what I was feeling. it was such a gradual revelation and my memory is so terrible I simply cannot pinpoint the exact moment or event

actually, I can recall the exact moment I realized I was trans. just not the moment I realized that that was an actual thing that other people also felt and that there was a word for it and that there was something I could do about it. I don’t remember that at all. but the moment I realized exactly what my feelings were and why I was feeling them, I remember vividly

I was about fourteen. I was having dinner at Chick-fil-a with my family. I had shoulder-length pink hair and I was wearing my favorite purple hoodie. I was sitting at the seat at the table right by the window, I remember it so fucking clearly, and I looked up from my food, I saw this guy walk by, just a regular, normal, average dude, and it just fucking hit me out of nowhere, I saw him and I thought to myself “I can never be that,” and it crushed me. my soul shriveled up and died inside me because I thought I could never be male. I was dealt the hand that I was dealt and nothing could change it except being dead. I thought that was my only way out

and then you know then came years of depression and daydreaming about suicide literally 24/7

yeah being trans is so great #trending

[livinginboyfriendcardigans]

oh my god I think Chase Ross was the first trans guy I ever watched on youtube

and it was the shit trans guys say video

no there was something else before that wasn’t there??

well that’s the first one I ever remember watching anyway

[livinginboyfriendcardigans]

Chase and Aaron’s new podcast, You’re So Brave, is my new favorite thing in the world I love them so much they’re so cute

[livinginboyfriendcardigans]

also when I was in his line, I noticed that he had a Selena pin on his fucking adorable, well-fitting blue Sam’s Club vest

the last guy I had a crush on was really into Selena

do I have a type or something like ? ?? is it possible to only fall in love with guys that like Selena??

shit I should really get into Selena

[livinginboyfriendcardigans]

like a month ago, I ended up in Cute Guy’s line at the store. I didn’t talk to him or anything, he just talked to my mom and smiled at my niece, who we were babysitting at the time, and he did make eye contact with me a couple times and he knows I exist now

and then the next time I saw him at the store, he made eye contact with me and held it for several seconds and I kinda smiled at him???

and then last week I passed by him at the mall, and he did like an actual double take, like he for real recognized me and I was like hell yeah wtf

I think maybe next time I see him I will actually maybe wave at him??? ? or just like give him a nod of acknowledgment??

at this rate, we will be going on our first date in about 12 years

so that’s exciting

[livinginboyfriendcardigans]

hello yes I’m still here

why can’t I fucking update my tumblr more often you might ask

I don’t even know I’m sorry I’m just so fucking lazy with this shit lately I don’t know why

[livinginboyfriendcardigans]

so my dad got here yesterday

aaand basically coming out to people is completely and utterly pointless and changes nothing and I don’t know why I haven’t gotten this through my head yet lolol what are preferred names and pronouns lol am I right?? ?

I mean yeah, in my dad’s initial response to my coming out he was SUPER nice and supportive and if I just sat down and had a serious talk with him about how important names and pronouns are to me, he might make more of an effort

but you know what I hate more than anything?

serious talks

and you know what else?

it probably still wouldn’t make much of a difference

if I’m completely honest, I would much rather just endure a few days of misgendering twice a year than have a twenty minute talk with my dad about trans stuff. it’s just not worth it

I’ve had maybe five serious talks with people about trans stuff, and not a single one of them did jack shit to change anything

it’s all pointless. coming out, talking to people, fucking begging them to respect my pronouns, none of it, it’s all completely useless

you know, it’s actually the people that I DON’T end up having serious talks with that actually give a shit about what I say. those are the people that get it. god bless those people

[livinginboyfriendcardigans]

my little brother finally bought an actual chair for gaming

I’ve been having to sit on a pile of pillows on the floor for years and it was seriously wreaking havoc on my knees and lower back

it’s gonna arrive in two days and I’m so happy oh my god it better be a good chair I can’t deal with this anymore

[livinginboyfriendcardigans]

okay so I’m taking estrogen blockers and DHEA together now, because I figured out that the only reason the estrogen blockers were doing more at the beginning was because the DHEA hadn’t worn off yet and it was just compounding on that

also I just can’t not take DHEA anymore that shit SERIOUSLY helped me sleep so much better. I did not realize just how well and how easily I was sleeping before until I stopped taking it. DHEA is legit man

[livinginboyfriendcardigans]

let’s see, what is Brian up to these days:

I increased my estrogen-blocker dosage a few days ago because I’m an angry and frustrated and impatient little man

I used my birthday money to buy some Korean bb creams because American bb cream is literal actual bullshit and they’re all like 15 shades too dark for my pasty gay ass and wow I am really just way too obsessed with makeup

my voice was really deep and hoarse when I woke up this morning and I started to get my hopes up buuuut tbh it was probably just because I slept for like 10 hours straight and the air was really dry last night but my voice has been cracking a LOT lately it’s getting super annoying I just want it to get deeper already

[livinginboyfriendcardigans]

honestly guys I have no idea why updating my tumblr has become such a chore lately I’m so sorry I’m trying my darnedest here