This Has To Be The Worst Timeline, Right?

Mom of two preschoolers, data scientist, progressive and nerdy. Trying to lose weight, learn anything I can, and be a better mom.

[livingouttheworsttimeline]

Sometimes I worry that I'm just too negative. Growing up with treatment resistant depression has meant that there is always something wrong, even if it's only in my neurotransmitter deficient brain.

But then I remember that I catch sight of a beautiful tree with the most incredible seasonal foliage, and I think how grateful I am for that beauty. I laugh at a video online, and remember how lucky I am to live in a time and place where I can bear witness to the best parts of humanity. I hear the first notes of an old song, and immediately start singing along.

I'm reminded that, while my brain does its evolutionarily-optimized thing and looks for the bad, it also sees the good, the beautiful, and the sublime.

[voltaspistol]

It's an open notes test and some dense motherfuckers still can't figure out the answers.

[livingouttheworsttimeline]

It's been a hell of a year

I'm working really hard to shift my inner narrative from "I barely exercised at all in 2023" to "I prioritized my mental health and lowering demands on myself in 2023", but it's a skill that I'm...practicing, let's say.

I did a dance workout this morning, and I only made it 15 minutes, but it was good. And I feel good. Now I'm going to have a smoothie and *continue* to prioritize my mental health :)

Rick's Half Hour Dance Fitness Workout - bigkidrick - Turn Up - Zumba - DanceFit - FitDance - Mixxedfit

Unfortunately YouTube copyright rules won't allow me to post all of these as one full video, so I had to string them together in a playlist.

[livingouttheworsttimeline]

HOW DID I NOT KNOW THE NEW SEASON OF DERRY GIRLS IS AVAILABLE IN THE US?????

[inkskinned]

you say it's my villain era and what you mean is that when you were six you panicked about wearing the right thing to kindergarten, what you mean is that in middle school nobody was eating, what you mean is that you spent high school prepping for college and college prepping for adulthood and adulthood fucking lost in the system.

what you mean is that you've been good. you were a good team player. you would have never considered yourself perfectionist - those are people more popular, prettier, more successful - but you carry any flaw like a secret in you, terrified someone will desert you for the simple reality of your personhood.

if you were good you could be loved. you could be loved if you were selfless and thoughtful and caring. if you bent over for every person, if you went above-and-beyond, it would absolve you of who you actually were. deep down, how horrible that you had needs. that you had boundaries, that you had desires. you learned young that you cannot afford to cut people out of your life - you would have nothing left. it is better to live in the service of others, to supplicate. to worship. you weren't exceptional, you had to make up for it in some way. to prove to others you were worthy.

if they need you, it's the same thing as loving you. if you are always-there, always-listening, always-friendly, you are filling a role. you have a purpose. you are living correctly.

villain era, you repeat. you mean: yesterday you finally told a man no. for hours afterwards, you couldn't control your heartbeat. you mean: you've been saying positive affirmations on repeat, trying to teach yourself any new thing about how self care is necessary. you mean: three weeks ago, due to a scheduling conflict, you finally told a coworker that no, you couldn't do them a "quick favor". you have felt bad about that ever since. sure, it would have made you work late and it would have been extra stress - but you feel bad about it nevertheless.

you tell your therapist you have been leaning into evil. she asks what that means. when you tell her: sometimes i prioritize my own needs, she doesn't find it funny. she looks at you a long time.

"and that's evil?" she clarifies.

"well," you say. "feels evil to me."

[flightlessartist]

saw this stunning picture of jupiter the webb telescope took and i couldn’t just not draw her✨

✦ find me on instagram @the.flightless.artist ✦

[thegreenthingslivebeforetheydie]

my favorite is when Kermit’s facial expression is simultaneously an obvious hand in a puppet but also an instantly recognizable and relatable emotion

[thegreenthingslivebeforetheydie]

[misshoneywheeler]

[wickedwonderlandd]

[tyskerrie]

Honestly it would be really funny if they added an ace vampire to what we do in the shadows, for once the ace flag colors are inherently goth which is the perfect colors for a vampire to dress in.

So imagine: Laszlo and Nadja being themselves and talking about how vampires are very sexual beings, vampire in ace colors looks knowingly at the camera.

Cut to interview: Yes so, I am what nowadays is called, asexual? *Looking for confirmation behind the cameras* Yes! Asexual, in my time we used to call it a spinster, but we called everything a spinster! Lesbian? A spinster. Didn't want to marry? A spinster. Wanted to marry but couldn't? A spinster. Was just weird? A spinster. *Someone says something behind the cameras* What was that? Ah! Aromantic, yes! Also a spinster, everything a spinster.

You know at first I told people but these days I find it more fun to keep a bit of a mystery going on, at least for a bit. You see, other vampires kept trying to seduce me, because, look at me! I am gorgeous! And then I just gave them the look *looks unimpressed to the camera*, and so they started talking, about the mysterious vampire that no one can impress. Obviously sometimes it just gets annoying and it's easier to just tell them.

Cut to Laszlo trying to seduce the ace vampire:

Ace vampire: Sorry, honey, but I'm ace.

Laszlo: What?

Ace vampire: A spinster

Laszlo taking a step back: oh! I understand

Ace vampire looks at the camera and shrugs

[prokopetz]

I fully understand that the prevalence of “american pentagon” as a search string is due to the need to specify that one is looking for information about the building, not the geometric shape, but I’m not gonna lie, when I saw the phrase pop up as a suggested search term my first thought was “well, now there’s a dimension of non-SI measurement which I had not heretofore considered”.

[gallusrostromegalus]

The American pentagon has five sides, four of which are approximately the same length but the 5th is much shorter, as though one were trying to draw a square and didn’t quite manage the right angles and had to close the shape with an additional side, and costs the federal government 4.2 Billion Dollars that get funneled through a shady contractor to an anonymous carribean account.

[livingouttheworsttimeline]

I’m so tired today that I can’t remember if I showered last night.

[thevaultoftheatomicspaceage]

[fatmaninalittlesuit]

[baetology]

Stop letting your heart and your pussy choose your men.

[trapbinch]

I’m confused, what is left…

[trapbinch]

Oh nvm lmao my brain. You right sis lol you is right

[baetology]

You really forgot your whole brain.

[pussylipgloss]

she read this post with her pussy

[livingouttheworsttimeline]

Hey 👋

hey!

[michaelbogild-deactivated202503]

On the self-care bloggers.

What I don’t particularly like about the self-care movement on this and other platforms…is that the quotes and visuals in a great many instances almost seem like they are trying to prevent the reader from having an imminent nervous breakdown. 

There is this unintentionally harmful presupposition (which is highly typical of psychiatrists) that you are in fact not as strong as you really are and as capable of enduring pressure as you really are.

This form of communication (though unintended) creates what we call a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

My best answer to stress…is to have more of it, only a different and more positive kind…as lifting weights, taking cold showers, doing affirmations (out loud and physically), being socially courageous, and much much more.

The answer to weakness (real or imagined) is not more weakness, ok? It is to take up the fucking fight like a warrior. I am preaching something with teeth here, with energy, with potential, with facts, with a true respect for my readers…for I know they are far stronger and far more talented than I can ever imagine (and I’m a fucking cheerleader if there ever was one).

That being said, don’t pretend that I’m an idiot, or be one yourself. 

If you absolutely (for specific health reasons let’s say) need a day off, or two, or ten even, or if something horribly traumatized you to the point that you can hardly get out of bed…then look at my advice and perspectives as something you can slowly assimilate into your life over time and not me beating you on the head with a hammer saying : “GET THE FUCK GOING YOU LITTLE BITCH!”

But even with that disclaimer (which many others wouldn’t have added) the wokesters are still going to call me a proponent of toxic positivity.

Well…let’s see what improves the most lives, your or my perspective.

[deadcatwithaflamethrower]

Full link and info tomorrow:

& bonus fuckery:

[wickedjaime]

[livingouttheworsttimeline]

You know what? If this is how I go out, so be it.

The FDA can pry this spoon from my cold, dead hands.