Carol Sturka's favorite sound in the whole world is a train horn. It's her favorite because it's the loneliest sound.
Carol Sturka, who learned she was different from how she was supposed to be when she was a teenager. She was betrayed by someone who was supposed to love her, who instead sent her to a conversion camp to force her to be like everyone else.
Carol Sturka, who was the only person who showed up to the survivors' meeting with a reluctantly accepted chaperone, an individual who was previously a stranger to her. When she first arrives, everyone except for her is accompanied by family members who'd joined the hive. Every survivor at this meeting tells Carol she's overreacting, that the hivemind isn't so bad, and that there's nothing they can do anyway. No one asks her why she's alone. No asks if she lost anyone during the joining.
Carol Sturka, who investigates and learns more about the hive all on her own. Despite the fact that it's too late to get her wife back, she still thinks the world is worth saving. Despite the other survivors' disinterest in her plans, she shares what she learns with them anyway, in case she can change their minds.
Carol Sturka, who gets so close to curing the infected people that the hivemind abandons her. She is completely alone for forty days.
Carol Sturka, who learns that the other survivors got her videos and ignored them. She learns they all talk on a regular basis and do not include her.
Carol Sturka, who when Koumba, the one survivor who is sometimes nice to her, sighs tiredly at her wanting to talk more about the problem, instead of pushing ahead, backtracks and says she was just kidding. She couldn't get out of there fast enough. Of course she doesn't want to stay, of course she doesn't need anybody.
Carol Sturka, who was not told that there was another survivor traveling across continents, literally almost dying, all to get to her, because of their shared goal, until he was only two hours away. She gets nervous at this news, because the hivemind makes him sound unstable. She meets with him anyway.
Carol Sturka, who tries to give in. She's tired and lonely and maybe it is easier to drink the kool aid. But she fails, because once more in her life, someone claiming to love her has betrayed her, by wanting to force her to become like everyone else.
Carol Sturka, whose favorite sound is a train horn. Who had never told a soul that it's her favorite sound. Because it's the loneliest sound in the world.
