confessions of a teenage drama queen

overanalyzing everything

[wrenwinchester]

I’m thinking about Sam and Ruby again. Specifically Ruby, and I think I’ve said it here before, and I know other people have said it, but I strongly believe that Ruby 1.0 and ruby2.0 are two different demons. Like. Ruby1.0 actually seems to be trying, she may not always be telling the truth, but she seems to be honest about her motives towards Sam and Dean. And Ruby 2.0 is not. Even when we first meet her, it’s under murky situations, I just think that Ruby 2.0 was told by Lilith to take advantage of Sam’s grief, and the trust he had for Ruby 1.0 to trick him and use him for Lilith’s plan to free Lucifer.

[lizzzy317]

The look Dean gives Cas after "we're making it up as we go" is actually so sweet.

This is still the homoerotic friendship stage of the twelve year long situationship, but the first moments where Dean actually seems to see Cas as a friend... Before there was just tension, and relying on each other with moments of trust.

[lizzzy317]

IDK why people try to make S4 Sam and Dean conflict super black and white. Especially when it comes to making it seem like Sam did nothing wrong and Dean was just awful.

Sam being tricked by Ruby does not negate the fact that he kept Dean out of the loop and was obviously crossing a line that Dean clearly set. Dean was so traumatized after hell and that showed up all season, and yet, people act like he's just being horrible and abusive like John for no reason.

Point being, both Sam and Dean kinda suck with lots of nuance. I don't get people want either of them to be totally right/wrong.

(In the fandom overall, not here in specific).

[lizzzy317]

In 4x20, I really wonder what Cas was trying to tell Dean before he got zapped away to conversion therapy.

[silver-salt-knife]

The Jimmy Novak plot in 4x20 is actually so important for Cas' studies and his morally-greyness.

The episode is showing the two sides of Castiel: the one who wants to save humanity and is ready to rebel against Heaven for it, and the one who doesn't see vessels as people.

Every time scenes with Cas prior to that episode, even when he was talking about humanity not deserving destruction and sharing his doubts about Heaven, he was keeping a human being hostage, hurting him and destroying his family and not seeing anything wrong about it.

And Cas will never ever see the horror of vessels. He's an angel. He still has an angel perspective.

Except some dumb episodes I will name (9x22) like to pretend it's not horror.

[lizzzy317]

Now Watching:

[lizzzy317]

I love an album that really just has a cohesive vibe and sound. Addison is a great album for that, and while not every song is a hit, I like it more than objectively better albums because it's just so immersive. Vibes matter, and this is so summery, light, and fresh.

9/10

[lizzzy317]

I wonder if Chuck reused actors over the seasons for different characters because he was too lazy to write new character descriptions...

[silver-salt-knife]

There's a difference between Dean's relationship to food and Dean "Smith" because the latter has no memory of his food insecurities but his body remembers so he doesn't understand why he's that way about food. The only way he found to fight it is by having a very strict diet, watching the time, counting the calories, not eating meals to his taste, etc etc etc.

It's like the way he stills when the temperature drops (before the ghost appears) or his reaction to witnessing his "first" death… his body remembers hunting, remembers every trauma.

In the alternate universes where Dean gets to be that version of him from the very beginning (no hunting, no heavy money issues, no lack of food), I bet he'd be chill about food.

[lizzzy317]

Dean Smith and Repressed Queerness in 'It's a Wonderful Lie' (spn 4x17)

It is so fascinating how in a childhood where Dean is raised by Bobby and Ellen, Dean is not repressed in terms of expressing traits that our Dean would associate with femininity and queerness. Eating salads, watching Project Runway, dressing like Ken. He is seemingly metrosexual.

However, when he thinks that Sam is like propositioning him in the elevator or something, he gets defensive, telling him to save it for the health club, and the second time, he tells Sam that he's "not into that stuff."

He is totally unrepressed except when it comes to potentially being queer, and then he goes back to being homophobic-ish, associating queerness with health club in a clearly stereotypy way, trying to emasculate Sam.

Dean Smith is like later seasons Dean, not repressed in terms of what he allows himself to enjoy (clothes, food) except when it comes to his sexuality.

I don't know why people say that Dean Smith is like bi (and open about it) just because he's fine with like watching Project Runway. That feeds on negative stereotypes just like the pink panties thing. That is not what makes him queer y'all. He reads as bi (and closeted to me) because he was so like overly reactive to thinking Sam was hitting on him.

I know you could argue that he was into men and was saying that he wasn't into office romances or like just for story reasons not into his brother, but I don't know that his response to Sam was that of an openly queer man. Still, of course he didn't say he was straight yet again.

Though he could be for the purpose of this episode. It is an alternate universe, and he could just be a homophobic metrosexual dude. He just seems to be overcompensating in a very canon Dean way when it comes to his sexuality.

This episode also shows again how he can never really live a classic American life where he's anything but a hunter even if he wants to because deep down inside he always will want to hunt, which in itself is queercoded in a Buffy way. Yes, he does find himself unhappy in his office life, but he wanted that stability. Still, he finds himself quitting because hunting makes him happy. He wants to live a white picket fence life but knows he never will and makes peace with that. Very queercoded.

(Though I do think he's more like Faith lol. A gender swap episode with Eliza Dushku playing Dean would have been great.)

[lizzzy317]

I love how in 4x15, the way that Tessa after says that Dean has angels watching over him, she also says that he's the one that got away. Like I know this wasn't the intention, but it was giving I've been replaced as a potential flirty celestial being' or whatever.

Also poor Dean man. Like I said before that he only has chemistry with girls who he opens up to about his feelings so mostly one off characters, but Tessa is the rare reoccurring female (love interest esque) character that he has great chemistry with. The chemistry with Tessa is crazy and thats half bc he's reiterating that he wishes he had just died in 2x01.

[lizzzy317]

One of my fav Destiel scenes is when they're in the room with Sam and Uriel in 4x07 and Dean licks his lips looking at Cas, the scene cuts to Sam saying something, and then cuts back to Dean still licking his lips looking at Cas lmaooo.

[lizzzy317]

I wonder if Dean wanted to wish to forget hell, which is why he asked if Sam would wish to have a normal life without hunting. But he didn't because he thinks that he's never going to forget hell, while Sam could still have a normal life.

[lizzzy317]

I feel like the reason that Dean has so little chemistry with his love interests such as Lisa in the long run is because he can never really open up about himself truly, which is why they are incompatible. Dean has more chemistry with one-episode girls like Jamie from 'Monster Movie' who he really opens up with.

[lizzzy317]

Music, Fashion, Film is a really good album that is just a bit underbaked.

Production is great, but the album it could really use a few more songs, and better lyricism at times. Still, I love the garage rock feel. I was at a listening party, and the album clicked quick on the second listen because I had already heard it.

I love 'Yeah' sonically, and 'Persona' is also great. Its def a girl so confusing bside. 'SS26' is a career highlight that feels well played out compared to some songs that feel cut off too early. It does feel raw, and I don't get why people say that it is played too safe. It is def experimental.

I don't like '2007' because of its repetition, and 'Magic Metal Montana' is a song where I just don't like her style of singing too much. Still, neither are skips, i just think they could be better.

I really wish that 'if you take away the music than what has she got' made the album. I get why 'Playboy Bunny' was cut, but take away the music fit the album both sonically and thematically. If I were her, I would def include both those songs.

I don't have any real skips. I would rank it where it is because there are no songs I really dislike, with other projects there are def skips. But the highs on this album aren't really songs I would put on many playlists yk.

8.3/10

Charli Ranking After MFF:

True Romance (top 5 fav album of all time)

How I'm Feeling Now

Brat

Number 1 Angel

Crash

Sucker

MFF

Wuthering Heights

Pop 2

Vroom Vroom

Charli

I know that sucker is probably higher than the consensus, and the more hyperpop stuff is lower, but I am just not a fan of many songs on Pop 2 or Charli. Albums with songs I like (like sucker) rank higher for me than a better overall album that has no hits to me (or only one). I def will listen to the last two more to try to get them though.

[lizzzy317]

Found this gem of a poster on serializd for Supernatural Season 3. Is this actually real lmaooo?

(Still better than the S15 poster if it is).

[lizzzy317]

There are so many female characters in SPN who I want to like so bad... But I don't bc the writers really made them one-dimensional asf (and killed them off instead of developing them).

They're just too undeveloped for me to like, and they're also written very much as "not like other girls," an archytpe I hate.