Many manufactured consumer products today have warranty or guarantee provisions. The scope of the warranty usually reflects the underlying quality and durability of the finished product. An automobile or major appliance might have up to a five year warranty on certain parts. That’s fine for some goods, but most of us really would like to buy something once, and have it just work, forever, if possible. This is the class of products that are so good their maker offers a lifetime or limited lifetime warranty.
Think about that. Lifetime. That is a long time, especially for a man made object. When I first conceived my idea for a back scratcher, it was just as a novelty item to stuff a holiday stocking, and possibly scratch an itch. But when the first models brought more than one suggestion to make them for sale, I realized that it was not just about scratching an itch. It was also about doing it better and forever. If it’s better and lasts forever, that’s something worth buying. It also can’t be a cheap import of wood or plastic, or thin gauge metal. It must be substantial, and really built to last darn near forever. The first good example that comes to mind is the old fashioned Zippo™ Lighter. They just worked forever, and if they did break, you just sent it back to Bradford, PA where they fixed it free.
Now that’s a warranty to believe in. And that is the same feeling that ITCHTHATBITCH.COM has about their back scratchers. If we can’t make it to last for you, why even bother. We could have used cheaper galvanized iron like the first prototypes, but instead opted for lifetime stainless steel and other noble metals. Skin will just not erode or wear out our back scratcher. You can sit on it and it won’t break. It might bend, but it easily bends back. Another good example is Sears Craftsman™ hand tools. Break a Sears Craftsman™ hand tool and Sears replaces it, free. If everything were made like these tools we would spend a lot less time replacing broken stuff.
This is just a start. If you fly fish, you’ve heard of Orvis™ fishing rods. If your Orvis™ fly rod ever breaks, even because of a car door, they will fix or replace for a small fee. But that’s just for 25 years. Rods after 2003 are $30. Of course, hammers and anvils tend to pound away or be pounded upon, have no warranty and still last and last. ITCHTHATBITCH.com Fingers™, Knuckles™, Brass Knuckles™, and Silver fingers™ will probably last that long, unless you are scratching a granite statue.
Also high on my list of fantastic products with a lifetime or near lifetime warranty are Cutco™ knives. They have a forever warranty to replace if it every wears out, and they also provide a sharpening service at a nominal $7 for up to three knives, and $10 for 4 or more. This is even better than the ITCHTHATBITCH lifetime warranty, which is limited to the life of the maker and back scratcher owner. We’ve had a set of Cutco knives for over 40 years. They repaired, sharpened and replaced as per their warranty.
Another frequently overlooked warranty product is Scheaffer™ pens. A failure of the ink cartridge gunked up the mechanism, and another time, skin oil caused the rubber finger grip to fail. Twice in twenty years it has been repaired. I’m not using it much now because it’s gotten boring. It is really great to have something that lasts so long you just get tired of it. We don’t think you will ever tire of an ITCHTHATBITCH backscratcher.
At the ITCHTHATBITCH.com repair and warranty department, we don’t have a guy sitting around sleeping like the Maytag™ washing machine repairman. We don’t have a repairman because our back scratchers have never broken. In fairness, we haven’t been making them that long. If one ever does, we will fix or replace it free, and that’s a promise.
The main point of this discussion is to state that if a consumer has a choice when consuming, why not consume something that will last a long time, and if it doesn’t last, at least be something that has a meaningful warranty. ITCHTHATBITCH.com offers that choice on its line of back scratchers. Don’t you wish you had that same choice on all of your other purchase choices?