ten days of rain. consecutive, rain.
i had a sort of wonderful epiphany today, walking shrouded in a raincoat, eyes cast downward to guide my feet around the tiniest urban lakes and streams.
What do the people you surround yourself with say about you? do you attract people who represent some sort of subconscious aspiration, bringing all of the things you aspire to, in as close proximity as possible, to lessen the disappointment that perhaps you may never, in fact, aspire to those things?
It seems that my friends, all of my friends, my closest ones anyway...none of them have real jobs. No, somehow they make a living, in a really beautiful way. “Entrepreneurial” is the word that came to mind this morning, but in all seriousness I think the one thing that resonated the most with me is that these people do not have the big picture in mind. And that is completely okay, because the future doesn’t matter when you can reinvent yourself, over and over again, because you ARE the business.
This is fundamentally the opposite of how I operate. I am a planner, by nature and by trade, I literally get PAID to plan things. My brain does not operate any other way. But being around people who live their lives completely (okay, mostly) unplanned is incredibly refreshing. And inspiring. And makes me wonder - what would I be doing if it was just me? If I didn’t work for anyone but myself. What would I do?
I had a week. A fucking WEEK. A like “hey, I’m emotionally obliterated and can’t feel anything at all” kind of week...which by Thursday (today) translated into “Holy shit I have so much creative energy what do I DO with it,” which has translated into “Oh my god I am a Tumblr-Girl stereotype IRL because a) I’m on Tumblr, and b) I have a fucking ukulele on my bed that I am playing in between blogging. Someone stop me before I start taking selfies of my rib tattoos (which IS going to happen when I get my rib tattoo in a couple weeks...UGH). Dire straits (wo)man, dire straits.