feels like I'm drowning in this firewater lake

LOGAN LYNN • 21 CHEMISTRY MAJOR • NEW HAVEN

[x-caseylynn-x]

Pretty sure that’s incorrect, but fine. Who am I to argue. As cute as my face would look with a pixie cut, my hair’s too valuable to cut off. I take care of it far too well to just get rid of it. I’d suggest you just grow back out your mop, but that’ would be a waste of the ear muffs I bought you, and a step backwards. Who cares about saving money when it’s giving your favorite brother a Christmas gift? That’s not ready! … Ugh, I guess that’s Logan ready… please tell me you’re at least dressing Christmassy? 

I am indeed, you’d think it wouldn’t take you so long to catch on. Um, I think I can spot the best options out there, Logan. You’re talking to me. 

[loganxlynn]

I guess that’s true, plus mom would probably lose it if you cut it off without that hairstyle being on trend and all. Right, and we wouldn’t want that, especially after you paid a ridiculous amount of money for them. Haha. Good point. Well, I guess I could put on a Santa hat, that’s pretty christmassy plus it will keep my ears warm.

A guy who cheated on his girlfriend is your best option? Compared to who? Sawyer Evans?

[x-caseylynn-x]

No true! Daddy’s hair is short. And his ears are never cold like yours. And I wear my hair so my ears are showing all the time. And they never get cold either. I think something’s just wrong with your circulation. Ew, dollar store? Logan, we’re not from the heights, we can afford actual clothing. Gross…. Um, you underestimate me. I’ve been getting ready since this morning. My dress is laid out, my hair is washed and done, all I need to do is pick out a pair of shoes and do my make up and I’m good to go. You’re who should be getting ready. 

Nope, I told you, I already let more be known than I should have. … Use your scary genius mind to figure things out for yourself, smarty pants.

[loganxlynn]

Nah, dad just suffers in silence, that’s how he rolls. It’s a short hair only thing, trust me. But if you don’t believe me then maybe you should try a pixie cut yourself, Tiny. I guess, but just think about the money you could have saved if you did get me one from the dollar store. Money you could have spend on charity, for example. Eh, what do you mean? I’m ready, I woke up before 3PM and I even put on pants. I’m pretty much set to go.

Yea, I guess you are making it blatanly obvious. And you can definitely do better, Case.

[x-caseylynn-x]

I don’t understand how your ears get so cold. No one else’s does. Maybe you have a blood condition, we need to check that out soon. Pfft, nah, they’re just ear muffs. No one can pull of ear muffs, they just wear them because they’re convenient. Oh… you know… anything else. No offence. Aw… oh… okay. Too bad. 

Wise guys? I thought they didn’t exist until the 20′s, when the mafia became a big thing? Why sell the gold, when you can just use the gold to buy booties? Gosh Logan, think. But yea, I see your point. But they were poor, so they probably used their baby’s gift selfishly. Yes. But only if it’s in our home….. now no more about this, it’s getting far too into stuff.

[loganxlynn]

It’s cause everyone in this family has long hair except for me. I guarantee you that if you cut it short you would suffer like I do. Well if they are lame either way, then you could have just gotten me some from the dollar store, Case. Would have been just as effective. Yeaa... well, other topic, shouldn’t you be getting ready for the party?

The more you know, Case. Speaking of knowing stuff, please do tell me more. Why do you want me to invite Karofsky over?

[x-caseylynn-x]

…. How did you even remember that conversation! Way to ruin your surprise, Logan! Gosh, I should let your ears continue to grow ice cubes as some kind of retaliation for ruining your reaction tomorrow morning. They’re nice though, I know you’ll like them. They’re from Kanye’s line, and cost me pretty penny. So, your gift for me better live up. NO! The rules are I have to sing for the money, you’re gonna listen to me. 

Yes, but could he enjoy gold? No? Who gives babies gold for Christmas? Unless the other things were cute swede booties for him to wear, his gifts were dull and unfitting. Yes… Don’t worry about why, just do your sister a solid favor and do what she asks. Maybe it’ll make up for the terrible Christmas gift you’re apparently getting me.

[loganxlynn]

It’s kinda hard to forget about that when your ears are freezing off. Wow, from Kanye’s line, those ought to to be some badass looking ear muffs. Are you sure I can rock them? What could possibly be a better gift than spending time with your brother, though? I think I’ve done well with my gift. Can’t listen, sorry, ears are just too cold.

Apparently some wise guy from the east. See, christians don’t make sense half the time with their gifts. Though I guess his parents could have sold the gold and bought him those booties. Me spending time with Avery would be considered doing a favor for you? Interesting.

[x-caseylynn-x]

Sure you can guess. But I doubt you’d get it right. Um, she’s still my best friend. I’m sure the thought would count, thank you very much. Of course they don’t, but it makes me feel like a good person. Which is why I want to do it. Great! And pish-posh, if you pay the money they you get a song, duh. Maybe I’ll sing a Christmas cover by one of those 2011 emo bands you listen to. 

Good, because it would have made Christmas a total drag. Uh… yea totally… but like… you know, gifts are a big part of the Christmas spirit. We exchange gifts because it’s Jesus’ birthday and he couldn’t get any when he was born so we keep the tradition going. So like …. just think about that. You don’t want to make the christian’s sad, do you? … especially since you’re totally like friends with one now …… you should invite him over more, just saying. 

[loganxlynn]

Did you get me earmuffs? Please tell me you got me ear muffs! I’ve been waiting on them for a while now and you did promise me you’d get them for me, Case. Ice cubes are literally starting to fall out of my ears right now. Making your poor brother suffer like that isn’t very christ-like, you know? Uh, yea, that’s quite alright. I’m good, just take the money, sis.

Actually, baby Jesus received gold, among some other gifts. But Christmas is supposed to be about family, right? Not about gifts. Making christians sad is a risk I’m willing to take I guess. Who? You mean Avery? Why?

[x-caseylynn-x]

Yes, very good stuff! Don’t forget the presents, and the time to spend with mommy and daddy. Which I can’t wait for! I already have Jackson’s gift picked out, and Chelsea’s, and yours. I think Sadie’s is on back order but I’m sure she’ll understand. Of course I want to do it! That’s very generous of you, Logan. But it’s the work and effort that goes into it that makes it so worth while. We can definitely drink hot cocoa together afterwards though. And watch a Christmas Carol together! I’d still gladly take your donations if you want to give it though. 

I hope you have a nice gift for me picked out. Don’t want a repeat of that disappointing birthday gift of not being around for my birthday, mister. 

[loganxlynn]

Right, that too, of course. Can I take a guess what it is or would that be totally lame? Im sure she will, since she’s not celebrating Christmas. I don’t think charitities care that much about how you got the money, just that they receive the money, but eh.. suit yourself, I guess. Yea sure, I’ll make a donation. Don’t even need to drop by the house.

Haven’t made any plans so far, so most likely I’ll be staying at home. I was hoping that the gift of my presence would be enough for you, m’am.

[x-caseylynn-x]

Two days! There’s exactly two days until Christmas! How amazing is it that Christmas day is happening on a Sunday this year? The holyest day of the week! In honor of Christmas - my favorite Holiday other than my birthday - I’ve decided to go caroling tomorrow night to raise money for the children who need it. Whatever I end up making I’m going to use my weekly allowance to double. So, all I’m asking is a few people come by my house tomorrow evening, just after 6:30, to come carol with me! It’s for a great cause, and a really good deed, that looks good in all eyes. Just saying. So be there, of be square!

[loganxlynn]

Yeah, totally excited about Christmas as well. I mean, there’s food, lots of food and peace on earth, all that good stuff. Are you sure that you wanna do that, though? It’s pretty chilly outside, Case... How about I give you my allowance and you stay inside and drink some hot cocoa with me?

[loganxlynn]

Text ✉ Loli

Lily: Yes, it matters! Of course it matters.

Lily: That doesn't mean we can't still talk about things ... Logan please. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I was just scared to, very very scared to. For this exact reason. Please don't be angry with me, this is exactly what I was trying to avoid.

Logan: [✓ READ]

[loganxlynn]

Text ✉ Loli

Lily: I'm sorry. I told you, I didn't know how to talk to you about it.... we can talk now though. I've just had a lot of time to think about all of this.

Lily: It wasn't really half of your friend group. Just Valerie and Chase, and I think Uriah put two and two together but he hasn't said anything about it .... it's mostly just my family that knows. You know now... you just had things going on... I didn't want to get in the way of it all. But you know now... I'm really sorry. Are you mad at me?

Logan: No, that's fine. There's no need for it. You've got it all figured out already without me.

Logan: Right, and Chase, Uriah and Val aren't half my friend group...

Logan: Does it matter?

[loganxlynn]

Text ✉ Loli

Lily: Because, apparently being put up for adoption could be damaging for a child. I don't want that for them. I can give them the love they need. Someone else doesn't have to when I'm perfectly capable of it.

Lily: Valerie first, then Andy and Brooke found out, then I told Chase, then my mom and dad and tiny siblings, and I think some other people might be catching on but no one else has said anything to me. And then you.

Logan: Good to know that you've figured all of this out by yourself before even talking to me once about it.

Logan: And good to know half of my friend group knew about this before I did.

[loganxlynn]

Text ✉ Loli

Lily: She's not forcing me to do anything. She's very much against the idea of abortion, yes, but I didn't want to do that either. And I don't want to give him or her up for adoption either, which she's not happy about but ... I'll figure it all out.

Lily: I'm keeping him or her because I want to. Because that's what I think is best for them....

Logan: ...How is it best for them?

Logan: Who else have you told about this?

[loganxlynn]

Text ✉ Loli

Lily: Why what? Elaborate please ... I know this is a bit much but ... please.

Logan: Why are you keeping it..

Logan: You're sixteen...

Logan: Is your mom forcing you??

[loganxlynn]

Text ✉ Loli

Lily: I'm sorry... I just didn't know how to tell you. And by the time I found everything out you had just started dating the Hudson girl so I didn't wanna ruin that all for you .... Since, like, Halloween. I found out a day or two before Halloween.

Lily: Yes. I'm keeping it. No. I'm not out of my mind... It's okay, I understand, this is probably a lot to take it and stuff.

Logan: ...Why

[loganxlynn]

Text ✉ Loli

Lily: Yes...

Lily: I'm sorry. So immensely sorry.

Lily: I'll handle everything on my own, I've been intending to. I just thought you should know, you know, because like it's half yours and stuff.... and I'm so so so sorry. Please don't hate me for it, please.

Logan: I can't believe you've been keeping this from me... how long do you know about it??

Logan: So, you're keeping it..??? Are you out of your mind, Lily??

Logan: ...That was harsher than I meant for it to sound. I just.. I can't believe this..

[loganxlynn]

Text ✉ Loli

Lily: What? NO! Nononono! I'm not actually sick, I mean I am, I've been feeling sick, but not because I am sick ... Okay, I need to start wording things better.

Lily: Nothing's terminal, I'm not dying, breathe. My life might be kinda over but like, I'm still gonna be alive....

Lily: What I'm trying to tell you is, well, see, the last time we had sex something went a little wrong... very wrong... and I didn't wanna tell you right away because of... reasons... but like, I kinda have to tell you. So here we are now.

Lily: Please please don't get mad ... but, I'm kinda with child. Okay, not kinda anymore, very actually.

Logan: ...You're pregnant?

[loganxlynn]

Text ✉ Loli

Lily: A lot of things are going on and this is very scary, yes, which is why I'm doing this over text message rather than face to face because that's too scary. Which is probably really dumb but... I really don't care.

Lily: But everything's gonna be fine! It'll be okay.

Lily: But right, um.... so, I've been feeling really sick lately, right? Like, so sick I can't come out with you guys. Or smoke. Or any of that stuff. Sick enough to make my siblings /tolerable/.... and there's actually a really big reason for it....

Logan: Wait, what's going on? What do you have? Is it serious??

Logan: Of course it's serious... why else would you freak out about it.. stupid question...

Logan: You're not.. it's not terminal, is it???

[loganxlynn]

Text ✉ Loli

Lily: Good, that's good to hear. You know, with everything that's been going on.

Lily: See... how I've been is kinda like why I texted you right now. I kinda need to talk to you about something important, if that's okay? But only if, ya know, you're really feeling tip-top and all of that stuff again cos I don't wanna freak you out on top of all of the other weird stuff that's seemed to pop up lately.

Lily: That's a lot of rambly words .... I'm sorry ahead of time.

Logan: Oh right, yea, well I'm fine.

Logan: Okay, not gonna lie, you sound kinda scary right now. What's going on, Lily?