muse?

you all grew body parts i fear i’ll never grow

[lonelyandforgottenisthe]

jet lag tumblr about sam and his thighs

[nateconnolly]

These days, lots of public libraries have a "library of things" collection where you can check out kitchen appliances or yard tools or toys, and, as a children's library assistant, the most popular library of things item that I handle regularly is a plastic scepter thingy called like "unicorn princess magic wand". And whenever I check it out I make a big show of looking at the little kid and being like "do you solemnly swear to use your unicorn princess magic powers only for good and never for evil?"

And pretty much without fail, the little kid will get the world's most mischievous grin and go "I'm gonna use it for EVIL!!!"

[geyfrog]

Referring to someone as your “partner” sounds as if you are deliberately obscuring their gender and may subtly out you. “My ex”, however, is entirely unobtrusively gender-neutral. #breakupallrelationships

[robogrind]

love the word fruitless. arguing with you is like if there was no apples involved whatsoever

[pingo1387]

having a headache while hydrated is so unfair. you were supposed to protect me.

[beardedmrbean]

[donotfollowthisaccount101]

what r ur kinks

I'm consumed by grief

[lepidopteragirl]

too bad it’s not possible to do anything. but at least there’s music

[lostxanadu]

the thing about being bullied for being weird as a kid is that even if you've always embraced being weird your brain is still always looking for the line where it's too much. you can be as proudly and intentionally weird as you want and you can love being weird but your mind is still convinced there's a point where you get too weird and people start treating you like a weird looking bug again. also it feels like you reach that point 500 times a day even if everyone you've spoken to today found you pleasant and likable and even if you're completely alone in your house with nobody looking at you at all.

[gumy-shark]

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

[technofeudalism]

i keep fucking around but i'm too stupid so i never really find out anything

[savethelifeofmychild]

having to eat food and take showers is ruining my life

[modernbaseball]

2 am: bedtime were meant to be broken 😈

7 am: I hope i get in a car accident

[innerchildabortionclinic]

no one knows if watching a new tv show is possible

[reeeneeereee]

(person who suspects they have ocd voice): what if every time i think something is an ocd symptom im actually faking it and stereotyping and ruining the lives of people with real ocd and im a terrible person

[marcusbrutus]

the worst part about ocd and ocd-like tendencies is that you think hyper-analyzing your thoughts and constantly psychoanalyzing yourself will fix you but that's actually part of the disorder. it's the disorder. disordering.

[traintodaegu]

[footlongdingledong]

actually all shipping is problematic by default because romance is evil