Writing for the Lonely & Lovelorn

I will no longer be posting on this blog, but I want to leave it up for anyone who likes it! Masterlist

[aidaronan]

Why do people stop commenting on fics if they’re more than a week or two old? Please comment on old fics. Tell me you like my one shot from 2014. Tell me you like my old multi-chap I finished in 2016 that I spent a year writing. I will be fucking thrilled.

[thefeistydragon]

Fics are not social media posts. There’s no “stalking” someone’s “old posts”. They’re meant to be found and enjoyed years down the line. No need to be nervous.

[lonelyandlovelorn]

Three Times Steve Rogers is Wrong

A/N: Heyyyy... I know it’s been ages, but it’s been a rough stretch. I’m not going to promise regular stories again, but this has been sitting in a folder on my computer for a while, so I figured I’d post it. I hope you are all staying safe right now. This is real short and sweet but I just kept picturing Natasha Romanoff in love and this happened. I’m sorry it’s almost no dialogue. 

Genre: fluff

Warning: minor swearing

Word count: 1100

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem reader

Summary: The development and concerns of your relationship as seen through the eyes of Steve Rogers. 

Masterlist

Steve had felt protective over you since the moment you joined the team. You were sweet and kind, but also very obviously innocent and naive. This wasn’t a problem, per se, but it definitely had him on guard when people were near you. 

When you first arrived, Steve's biggest worry was someone like Sam or Thor trying to flirt with you, but you had made it pretty obvious from the beginning you didn’t swing for their team, and they respected that. He relaxed a little when he realized that you weren’t going to be getting into anything romantic with anyone. 

Except, Steve Rogers just needs proving wrong sometimes, doesn’t he? 

You were on the young side, though you weren’t too far off from your team, in your late twenties. You were pretty comfortable with your sexuality and being open about it, it certainly wasn’t a secret to the rest of the team. There was a big pride flag on your wall and you made a passing comment here or there. Although, it had taken Steve paying some attention to realize what you meant when you commented on a woman’s attractiveness. At first, he just thought you were a really positive person, but he figured it out pretty quickly once Sam and Bucky stopped laughing at him. 

Still, you were young, practically the team’s baby, so Steve thought you were safe. And then at a party one night, he saw Natasha speaking to you. Having been at the receiving end, Steve knew what her flirting looked like from a mile away, and she was laying it on thick. She was leaned over the table, her strategically placed arms and low-cut dress giving you quite a show. You were obviously flustered, but not uncomfortable, so Steve didn’t feel he had any right to step in. He still kept an eye on you both the rest of the night. 

After that, he noticed it more and more. Natasha would often speak to you in low tones that everyone but Steve and Bucky would be oblivious to. She would softly flirt with you until you were glowing with blush, red in the face but seemingly enjoying it. Bucky and Steve often met eyes when they heard Nat’s passing comments, eyebrows going up and communicating silently as only long-time best friends can. She obviously flustered you, but you didn’t seem to mind the attention. 

Obviously, Steve trusted Natasha with his life, but that wasn’t the same as trusting her with your heart. From the way you cried watching How to Train Your Dragon 2, it was obvious you were sensitive. His fear was one of you getting hurt and you being the one left damaged. 

--

“You looked great on the mat today.” It was a comment that to anyone else would have sounded like a compliment on skill, but sent a pretty blush coloring your cheeks. It could have still come across that way if you hadn’t spent the majority of training pinned under her. Steve was well aware of that, even if your expression hadn’t given you away. 

For the first time though, something unexpected happened. You flirted back. “Maybe you’ll have to show me some more tricks some time so you can look as great as I did.” Steve was floored.

Your usual response to her flirtations was stammering and half-formed sentences. You were normally too flustered to make any attempt at returning the favor. This time, however, you painted a smirk on your face even as your cheeks burned, dishing it back. 

Steve was sure that you two were the only two who might have noticed the twinkle in Nat’s eye and the light dusting of pink high in her cheeks. She could have passed it off as exertion to anyone else. The small smile she sent you though confirmed that she had appreciated the effort. 

--

Steve still worried. He worried for both of you. Would it be worse if you flirted endlessly but ended up with other people or if you ended up together, only to maybe break up later? He was scared that Natasha would push too far and you would be too sweet to do anything but let her. He worried Natasha wasn’t being as careful with your feelings as she should be. 

Once again, Steve Rogers lives to be proven wrong. 

The mission had been tough. All in all, the team had been successful, but there had still been casualties. The worst of which happened on your watch while you were powerless to stop it. It was obvious you were taking it pretty hard. 

Steve was gearing himself up to take the seat next to you and talk you through it when a certain redhead did it first. She spoke so softly that even Steve couldn’t seem to hear her over the quinjet. Whatever she said seemed to calm you down, as you visibly stopped spiralling inside your own head. With a few more soft-spoken words, Nat gently grabbed your hand as you leaned your head on her shoulder. You weren’t perfectly fine, but you were better than Steve could have ever made you. 

So obviously, Natasha knew how to handle you gently. She was careful and attentive the rest of the evening, caring for you while ignoring her teammates’ looks. And Steve was grateful for that, even if he couldn’t shut off the Worried Dad mode. 

--

You were dating now. There was no big announcement, but you walked into breakfast together one morning, holding hands, and that was that. You sat close together on the couch, sometimes with your head in her lap. The whole team could see you were in love.

Well, the team could see that you were in love. With Natasha, it was hard to gauge, and Steve was concerned once more.

What if Natasha didn’t love you the same way? What if it wasn’t as much, as important to her? Would she hurt you?

Steve only lasted three days before Natasha showed him how wrong he was to worry, and she didn’t even do it on purpose. The team was eating dinner as you spoke excitedly to Wanda and Sam about utter nonsense. You were gesturing wildly, talking through bites of dinner, and generally looking like an idiot. As had become habit, Steve’s eyes drifted from you to Natasha. 

There was a smile on her face that he had never seen before. The best word for it was dopey, it was the kind of smile you saw on someone utterly in love. Steve was sure he had looked at Peggy the exact same way as she kicked some sorry man’s ass. The moment he saw that smile on her face, Steve realized you were in good hands. 

[jo-zee-deactivated20200619]

Getting a new follower and finding out they’re a terf is kind of like getting a new follower only to realize it’s a porn bot, but a thousand times worse.

Porn bots don’t give a fuck about my content or who I am, but this terf actually scrolled through my blog and thought, “yes, this is a person whose opinions I’d like to see more of.” It makes me feel super fucking gross and that I’m probably not doing enough to support trans women.

So just for the record: trans women are women. The existence of trans women does not detract from my womanhood or the womanhood of anybody else. This is not a blog for people who believe otherwise. Take your transphobia elsewhere.

And, to my followers: please help me stay accountable. If I reblog something that marginalizes trans people (or sex workers or POC or anyone else), please let me know so that I can make amends.

[formaldehyde--face]

PSA if you’re a terf and you follow me please just … don’t. Thanks.

[lonelyandlovelorn]

Cold

A/N: I’ve been thinking about this ideas for days and it just made me happy to think about. I hope you like it.

Genre: straight fluff, my friends

Warning: uhh, none

Word count: 1200

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x reader

Summary: Loki runs cold, but you offer to help keep him warm.

Masterlist

Loki never bothered to tell anyone that he was cold all the time. Several had found out his heritage or simply bumped into him and knew that he was a frost giant. He ran cold, that only made sense. What no one seemed to realize is that he actually felt cold. He liked sweaters and blankets and warm socks. He liked tea and summer heat. But he never did bother to tell anyone that he was cold or ask the thermostat to be set warmer. It was a sad excuse of a weakness.

He had found out recently that you seemed to run quite warm as he sat next to you on the couch. To him, it felt as though you radiated heat and it took everything in him not to lean into you and embrace the warmth. And it wasn’t just your body heat that made you warm. It was your smile and gentle laugh, your acceptance and lack of judgment towards him. He wanted to wrap himself in the warmth that came from you and never leave. 

Not that he would ever tell you that. He didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. Although you were kind to him, you were kind to everyone else too. It didn’t mean anything. He had been trying to convince himself of that for days. 

--

You were settled into the biggest, comfiest couch in the compound. There was a large blanket across your legs, a book in your hands, and a tea on the table next to you. It was a Saturday night, meaning most of the team was either out or already in bed, so you took advantage of the quiet of the night. 

You had only been reading for twenty minutes when you heard quiet footsteps walking down the hall. You looked up to see who would enter the room, a smile lighting up your features at the sight of Loki. He was one of your favorite companions, as he was able to enjoy the pleasant stillness of silence. He returned your smile with a small one of his own that you were sure most others wouldn’t have noticed. You bent your knees to make space on the couch for him at the other end, and he took his designated seat without a word. 

You were drawn back into your book for some time, not even noticing your knees relaxing until your feet brushed his thighs. You didn’t notice for a moment, but suddenly you realized that he wasn’t warm like most people. In fact, his thigh seemed freezing. 

You were speaking before you had thought to. “You’re so cold.” You weren’t even sure why you pointed that out, as you were sure he knew that. What you weren’t expecting was for him to look at you apologetically before making to move away. 

“I am sorry,” he began, but you cut him off.

“No, don’t worry about it,” you said as you pushed him back down into his seat by pressing your foot down on his thigh. You looked over how he was dressed, in pants and a warm sweater. You didn’t figure he dressed that way just for fashion. “Are you always this cold?” He nodded. “Are you cold?” He looked at you in confusion.

“Obviously.” You mentally smacked your forehead at your stupid sounding question. Now he would think you’re an idiot. 

“I mean, do you feel cold?” He seemed to hesitate before finally nodding minutely.

“Always.” You looked at him for a moment, trying to be sure that pity never crossed your face, knowing he wouldn’t take kindly to it. 

Without really thinking it over, you yanked the blanket off of your lap and spread your legs apart slightly. He looked you over like you were insane, and maybe you were. But you were also just someone who cared about this God who seemed to be lacking in that department. 

“Wanna snuggle?” You hoped to take some of the discomfort out of the situation by wiggling your eyebrows at him and were happy to see some of his worry leave his eyes as a smirk crossed his face momentarily. 

“Are you sure? You already felt how cold I run.” It was oddly endearing that he seemed so hesitant to make you cold.

“I’m sure. I run warm enough for the both of us.” He kept eye contact with you for a moment as though searching for your certainty in your choice. When he seemed to find it, He nodded slightly. A new, bright smile broke out on your face. He looked down at you, as though unsure what he was meant to do. 

“You can lay your head on my chest if you want, I’d guess laying on your stomach is most comfortable.” He listened to you, carefully positioning himself on his front before slowly resting his cheek on your upper chest. You held your breath momentarily as you realized what you had truly offered and the position you now found yourself in. There was a literal god between your legs, and that wasn’t meant to sound so inappropriate. With a moment to adjust, you threw your blanket over your legs and most of his body taking up the rest of the couch. Following a stiff moment, he seemed to melt into you. 

“You’re so warm,” he breathed out, eyes closed. 

“Thanks,” you softly responded before deciding to return to your book. As you wrapped your arms around his body to hold it against his back, your legs unconsciously mimicking your movements. You were effectively wrapped around him, and though you could feel some of the cold seeping into you, you didn’t mind simply due to how content he seemed. 

You stayed like that until you began to feel tired. You heard a heavy breath leave his lips and looked down to see his eyes closed. He appeared to have fallen asleep. Not wanting to disturb him, you quietly closed your book and set it down on the table. Seeing his peaceful expression, you couldn’t help but gently push a hair out of his face with your fingers. When he didn’t seem bothered by that, you continued to run your fingers through his soft strands. If his soft sigh was anything to go by, he didn’t mind it at all. 

You laid your head back and relaxed into the couch and Loki’s hold, as he had wrapped his arms around your middle after falling asleep. Your fingers stayed tangled in his hair as you drifted off.

--

You seemed to come to a silent agreement to continue this activity, as it seemed that neither of you had slept better in ages, and you were happy to provide warmth to a man who had none for himself. Though you would argue he was warm in his own way. He warmed your heart when he smiled shyly at you, when he wrapped himself around you, and when he began to spend more time with you, even in the presence of the rest of the team.

Neither of you even realized anyone had seen you asleep together on the couch that night until Tony gave you both a framed photo of you cuddled together. You didn’t even dignify it with a response, but you were secretly thrilled when you later went to Loki’s room only to see it propped up on his dresser.

[fullofbugs84uy894ujui9]

reminder that this blog, while not politically focused, supports BLM. bootlickers and racists aren’t welcome here, and never will be.

[lonelyandlovelorn]

this is probably the first and last time i'll write this to anyone, but girl i have to get it off my chest: you are an amazinh writer, i love your ideas, especially "sorry im awkward" i was HOOKED. please stay true to that as i LOVE it

That’s so sweet, I’m honored you reached out to tell me! So glad you liked that series, I felt good about it and I love hearing that you liked it!!

[lonelyandlovelorn]

Hey there! Hope you are doing okay :) we miss you!! 🖤🖤🖤

Okay, hey! I know I kind of disappeared since everything started going crazy. Things were pretty hectic and I wasn’t motivated to write at all. I hope to get back into the swing of things soon. Thank you for checking in on me! <3

[lonelyandlovelorn]

Hi there! I hope you are well and you safe in this pandemic, you are just so precious and perfect and one of my all time favorite fanfic writers! 😊😍

Hey! Sorry I didn't respond to this when I saw it, it's been hectic. I just wanted to thank you so much for this! I was having a pretty rough day, but I saw this, and it just made me feel really happy! Thank you!! 💜💜💜

[lonelyandlovelorn]

Short

A/N: Hey there anon, I’m sorry this took me so long, life got in the way for a while. I also want to apologize for how short this is, I didn’t really know where else to go with it. I hope this at least brings you a little joy. I made the reader gender neutral, hope you don’t mind. The other request will hopefully be out in the next week, classes are all finishing up right now, so I write when I can.

Genre: fluff

Warning: nah

Word count: 600

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: You’re short and Bucky thinks that’s hilarious.

Request: anonymous

I absolutely adore your fanfictions! If you have the time could you do a Bucky x reader where the reader is super short and seems practically the opposite of like an avenger, and he basically teases her and stuff, but she doesn’t care bc in battle she is a great fighter and all. Love you! (No homo ;))

Masterlist

“Hey short stack, how’s it hanging down there?”

You know he wants you to act annoyed, but you won’t give him the satisfaction. You send a smirk to Bucky, unbothered by the comment. “It’s great down here, grandpa. Hit your head on anything today?” You can’t hold in the chuckle as he huffs.

“It was one time,” he mutters petulantly. You both go about your business, getting breakfast and pouring coffee. You ignore the teasing smile he gives you as he reaches for your coffee cup in the cupboard, just like he ignores yours for bumping his head on the cupboard that he left open. It’s a familiar routine, interrupted only by Captain America himself.

Steve walks into the kitchen, carrying himself the way he always does with “official business.” You exchange a look with Bucky before turning to listen to Steve.

“You two have a mission with me and Sam today. Meeting in 20.” You nod in response. When he leaves, you both quickly finish eating and walk to your rooms to get dressed for the day. Tactical gear won’t be necessary immediately, but you set it out, knowing you’ll need to grab it for the mission. 

The meeting is brief, going over the mission details and instructions to be ready to leave in 40 minutes. Bucky makes a comment about being worried about them losing you in a crowd or you not being able to reach anyone to hit them, which you laugh at with your teammates. You all know in the end that you can handle yourself. 

--

There is a certain benefit to being small on stealth missions. That benefit is the ability to go nearly unnoticed by men who think they’re powerful. You sneak your way through the compound with your teammates following behind, only watching as you systematically take down guards. You were trained by the Black Widow herself, with a little help from a recovering Winter Soldier. This combination made you dangerous on its own, but your near invisibility made you lethal. 

The mission continues smoothly, none of your friends joining the fight until the center of the base is reached and there is no way for you to continue unnoticed. It’s a short fight with two super soldiers and a guy with mechanical wings at your side. 

On the way home, you get to experience something different from the norm. Usually, with this group of people, your height is the brunt of the joke, but Sam and Steve seemed to latch onto something entirely new during the mission. 

“Man, you were watching dudes get taken down like a proud dad,” Sam chuckles.

“I know you helped with training, Buck, but Sam’s right, that was a little excessive,” Steve chimes in.

“It’s so adorable,” Sam mocks in a fake dreamy voice.

You can’t contain your smile at the heat in Bucky’s cheeks at being teased, but you have to join in on the fun. “Oh Buck, don’t be embarrassed, you can be the cute one for awhile.”

Bucky does not appreciate that. “No, I can’t be the cute one, you’re the tiny one! That’s your thing.”

Your teasing continues back and forth, neither of you even noticing Steve and Sam exchanging looks of exasperation. It’s like listening to two teenagers say, “No you hang up,” but worse because the call would never end. 

As much as they want to make fun of you, you guys make fun of each other more than anyone else can, you’re just the only ones who don’t seem to know you’re flirting all the time. 

And as annoying as that is, they’re willing to deal with just about anything to see Bucky smile the way he does when you tease him. 

[thelibrarina]

do people who leave chapter-by-chapter comments on fics know that we would go to war for them?

[michaelakuntzmann]

Seriously, I’d take a bullet for those that have followed and commented on any of my fics.

[lonelyandlovelorn]

I really enjoy your writing, are you ok with angst requests, if not that’s ok. But if yes than could you a Loki x reader where the reader has to deal with childhood trauma and the whole team knows about her homophobic and like mean parents and one day they show up to the tower and Loki gives them a piece of his mind? It’s a bit specific sorry

Hey there! I'm always down for angst as long as I get to put a more or less happy ending on it, which seems like exactly what Loki will give. I'll add it to my list! Feel free to message me or something to answer this question, but did you want an LGBT+ reader, or just terrible parents?

[lonelyandlovelorn]

I absolutely adore your fanfictions! If you have the time could you do a Bucky x reader where the reader is super short and seems practically the opposite of like an avenger, and he basically teases her and stuff, but she doesn’t care bc in battle she is a great fighter and all. Love you! (No homo ;))

Hey anon! First of all, love you too just for being so sweet. Second, I'll add it to my list and I will hopefully have it out in the next week or so. I will take it as a personal challenge, because I am in fact a tall person so we'll see how this goes!

[lonelyandlovelorn]

Hi I really enjoy reading your Loki fanfics, do are you also able to like actors or Tom Hiddleston? If nots that’s perfectly fine as well :)

Hey, I’m glad you like the Loki fics. I’m sorry, I don’t feel super comfortable writing real people into these stories. Thank you for asking so nicely!

[lonelyandlovelorn]

Innocent

A/N: Hey, I hope you like this anon, sorry it’s pretty short. It’s a really cute idea, but I didn’t have a great way to flesh it out in my head. I know this request didn’t really say anything about it being some sort of secret relationship, but it seemed like the only way to do it. 

Genre: fluff

Warning: nah

Word count: 1100

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x fem reader

Summary: They’re so sure you’re innocent, they can’t imagine anything otherwise. 

Request: anonymous

Hello I absolutely love your Reader-insert fanfiction! Could u do one where the reader is known to be super innocent and like the little sister of the avengers, but when loki joins the team she’s literally the opposite around him and one day the avengers finds out they have been staying in each other’s rooms and are dating. Hope you have a great day 

Masterlist

You weren’t particularly young compared to the rest of the team, Wanda was younger than you. Still, everyone felt like you were some little sister they had to protect. Not in battle as much, they had all seen you in action. However, any time you spoke to someone they didn’t trust to be good to you, one of them swept in to take you away. When someone made a dirty joke, you didn’t seem to get it. When they asked about your romantic history, you seemed to have none. To them, you were just an innocent little girl they needed to take care of. 

This perception was a little upheaved when Loki joined the team. The entire team was weary of him at first, of course, except for you. Your teammates assumed you would be as you always were with him: sweet, innocent, soft. None of them expected you to match Loki’s silver tongue. Many were impressed at first at your comebacks, but this turned to shock when it turned to flirting. Loki was not a shy man, speaking smoothly to you, making comments meant to bring about a blush. The team was mistaken to assume that you would simply take it though, as they heard you flirt back. You never said anything scandalous, but they saw a new side of you for sure.

Even with this new development though, you were still like the team’s baby sister, surrounded by protectors. They all thought of you as the embodiment of innocence.

Which is why this situation had Natasha Romanoff thoroughly thrown for a loop for the first time in her life. She was returning to the residential wing that she shared with Clint, Thor, and Loki after a morning workout. She wasn’t paying much attention to her surroundings at all until she heard a door open. Purely on instinct, she pressed herself against the wall to see who it was. Realizing it was the God of Mischief’s door, she prepared to leave her hiding spot and face him with the usual blank face, but she couldn’t control the shock she felt seeing you exit the room. 

Not only were you walking out of the room of who she considered the least trustworthy man in the compound, you were walking out of his room in nothing but an oversized T-shirt. Given the ease of your movements and the relative stealth, it seemed like you had done this before. Had she somehow completely missed an obvious relationship forming? You walked in the opposite direction of the spy, not even noticing her presence. 

Natasha returned to her room, bewildered and disgruntled. There was no way she had missed something like that, which meant that it was either very new, very secretive, or both. She also figured that none of the rest of the team was aware, given that no one had said anything. She didn’t want to push you or hurt you but she needed to know what was going on. 

--

At dinner, Natasha kept an eye on you both, only to see a distinct lack of interaction. Had she hallucinated? No, she was sure of what she had seen. Maybe it just wasn’t what she thought. 

She turned to you after dinner, when the whole team had gathered on the couches. “So, Y/N, you seeing anyone lately?” A flush painted your cheeks that would give anyone the impression that you were embarrassed by the question. The team mistook this as an innocence. 

“Why are you asking her that, Nat?” Steve asked, swooping in like a mother hen, protector of the innocent. 

“Just curious, we haven’t talked about her life recently,” she answered smoothly. She turned her perceptive gaze back to you. You were giving her doe eyes that made it clear you were playing innocent, almost convincing her if it weren’t for the tilt to your lips. It was subtle, but Natasha would swear you had gotten it from him. 

The final nail in the coffin was the way you couldn’t help but cut your eyes away to meet Loki’s. Few would have even noticed, but it was exactly what she was looking for. When you looked back to her, you could see triumph on her face and your shoulders sagged. 

Tony cleared his throat. “Romanoff, you feel like sharing with the class?”

“Oh, I think that’s for Y/N and Loki,” she said slyly, throwing you under the bus. 

You could see the team’s eyes jumping between the two of you. You met his eyes, obviously distraught, but he only gave you a comforting smile. You took a deep breath and squeezed your eyes shut. “We’re dating.”

You could feel the room freeze up, aside from your assassin couchmate and the god across from you. You slowly pried an eye open to see the damage. Steve looked absolutely dumbfounded, Clint looked lost. Tony looked like he had crashed. 

“No... you’re... not?” Tony stuttered.

“Oh they’re more than dating,” Nat piped in, causing your face to burn even hotter. “I saw her sneaking out of a bedroom this morning.”

“Nope,” you heard softly from Clint. 

You let out a groan of embarrassment. You stood up quickly and crossed the space collapsing into the arms already open and waiting for you. You cuddled in immediately, hiding your red face in his chest. You felt him chuckle lowly as you listened to the chaos around you. This act only seemed to prove Nat’s point. 

“Oh my god,” Tony repeatedly exclaimed.

“Fondue,” Steve muttered, making your brows furrow in confusion. 

All you could do was shake your head and hide, cursing Nat but happy in his lap as he pressed a gentle kiss to the crown of your head. This sent Tony sputtering all over again, but Nat let out a soft “Aww.”

“This is going much better than I expected,” Loki muttered into your ear, causing you to gently smack his arm that was right in front of you. 

You didn’t disagree though. 

[lonelyandlovelorn]

Meddling

A/N: I’m back with some Wanda because I really love her. 

Genre: fluff, stupidity

Warning: maybe a little swearing?

Word count: 1700

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x fem reader

Summary: You’re pining and Nat and Clint decide to meddle. 

Masterlist

You zone out again. You’re looking at her again. You snap out of it before anyone notices, you hope. 

This keeps happening. You get bored in a meeting or you lose focus while reading, and every time you come back to reality, your eyes are on her. You don’t think anyone has noticed yet, because no one would miss the opportunity to tease you. But maybe no one thinks anything of it; heteronormativity is a hell of a drug, after all.

You’re pretty sure you’ve managed this whole time without anyone noticing the way your eyes linger on her, and then Clint pulls you aside one night after dinner.

“So, Wanda, huh?” You want to be shocked that he begins the conversation completely tactlessly, but you’re too busy drawing on any and all of your training to avoid the conversation.

“I don’t know what you mean,” you respond, face blank. Unfortunately for you, his training was longer and better than yours.

“C’mon, kiddo. Everyone else might be blind, including her, but you stare at her constantly.” Knowing you don’t have a shot in hell at deceiving him, your shoulders deflate and warmth rises in your face. “If it’s any consolation, I think you’ve got a shot.”

You raise a skeptical eyebrow at him. “What makes you say that?”

“Just a hunch,” he says, smirking and walking away. You’re confused and baffled that he doesn’t press you further or even make an attempt to mock you. It almost makes it worse somehow.

--

Clint doesn’t bring it up again anytime soon, and the rest of the team still seem none the wiser. Of course a spy can keep a secret, but you also know the man to be less mature than an eleven year-old. The fact that he noticed though has you nervous, catching yourself before you can stare too long or sometimes even leaving the room she’s in when you feel spacey. 

The issue is mostly that you’re the two youngest, besides Peter, so you tend to stick together. You have movie nights in your room, you go out for breakfast together sometimes, and you talk to each other all the time. And of course, none of this is the actual issue. The actual issue is that because of this, she notices when things change. She shows up at your door for movie night, dressed in pajamas and looking ready to relax, but she looks troubled. When you ask about it, you kind of wish you hadn’t.

“It’s nothing really it’s just… I feel like you’ve been avoiding me.” The surprise must register on your face because she continues before you can respond. “I don’t know what I did, but you leave the room sometimes when I walk in, and I feel like we don’t hang out as much.” 

You feel terrible that she thinks it’s her fault somehow, but how do you tell her that it isn’t. ‘Oh yeah, don’t worry about it, I’m just worried you and everyone else will figure out that I’m practically in love with you.’ Not likely. Finally, you settle on, “You haven’t done anything, I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I’ve just been a little distracted lately.” Not a complete lie, just not really the truth.

“Are you sure? We’re okay?” She sounds so hopeful, so worried about your friendship, that it makes you feel guilty for even letting the thought pass through your mind of ruining that by searching for more. All you can do is shoot her a smile and tug her onto the bed beside you, nodding and turning to select a movie. 

-- 

You’re wandering through the halls of the compound, half the team off on mission. Unfortunately for you, Natasha is not one of those people. Unfortunate only because she nearly scares you to death as she walks up from behind and begins speaking before you even notice her presence. 

“I didn’t know you were into women.” You jump half a foot in the air and let out a shrill shriek as you spin quickly to face her. 

“What?” you ask before you even have time to process what she said to you. She just watches you as her statement sinks in. You know denial is futile, but you don’t feel like straight up agreeing with her, as you knew that she often said things just to observe a reaction. In a moment of admitted stupidity, you don’t respond to her statement at all and simply attempt to walk away.

Of course that doesn’t stop her and she grabs your arm gently to stop you from escaping. “I’m not asking you to profess your love for her, I was simply observing something interesting. Besides, did you really think Clint was the only one who figured it out?” She looks unimpressed, but you hardly notice at your attempts to hide your panic. Did everyone see it? Were they all just ignoring it to not hurt your feelings? Did it make some of them uncomfortable?

Obviously she sees what you so horribly failed to hide and you see her expression soften. She has this habit of mothering you, even if you aren’t much younger than her, but it felt nice sometimes. This is not really one of those times. “Sweetie, you’re not so obvious that the rest of the idiots in this building will notice, if that’s what you’re worried about. And if you’re worried about them not being supportive, you ought to know better than that.” You can’t help but nod at that. These people are your family, of course they would be accepting. “And if you’re worried that she’s noticed, she hasn’t. I really think you should tell her though.” Your eyes widen comically.

“Why on earth would I do that?” 

“Because you like her and you won’t know if she likes you unless you do something about it.” Her response is matter-of-fact, but that does nothing to convince you. 

“Doing something about it could ruin one of the best things in my life. I’d rather stay friends forever and stare at her from a distance than risk friendship for some feelings.” Nat doesn’t seem satisfied with your response but doesn’t push any further. 

--

Two weeks went by filled with longing gazes from you and unimpressed looks from Clint and Nat. You were resolute in your decision to do nothing about it. Besides, if it is in any way mutual, she can make a move just as well as you. 

You’ve finally stopped worrying about Clint and Nat when Nat asks you to meet her in a conference room. You have no idea what for, but figure it best not to argue with her. When you walk into the room, the only one inside is Wanda. The door closes behind you, and you hear the tell-tale click of a lock. You look to her again, only to see your own confusion mirrored in her face. After a moment of thinking you realize what Nat and Clint are doing and panic sets in. You’re almost positive that they’ve locked you in here together to force you to do something about your pining. You pull out your phone to see a message from Clint that confirms it, only to see Wanda check her phone as well. 

You let out a breath and sit down across from her at the table. She finally breaks the silence, which is uncommonly awkward. “Do you know what’s going on?”

“Sorry it’s my fault. Well, it’s not my fault, it’s theirs. But it’s because of me, I guess.” Your response does little to clear things up, as even you confuse yourself. You huff out a sigh to settle yourself before speaking again. Might as well rip it off like a bandage so at least you can both escape this room sooner rather than later. 

“I like you,” you say quickly, your eyes tightly closed and your entire body tensed. 

“You- What?” She sounds just as confused as you would be in this situation. 

“I like you, and they figured it out and locked us in here so I would tell you. And now I’ve told you so they should let us out.” You still don’t look at her as you speak. You continue to stare at the table until the silence stretches on for too long, and you have to look at her. She looks confused still, but it’s different than what you expected. 

Suddenly, a small smile appears on her face and lights up the small room, even as it has you staring in befuddlement. 

“You like me?” All you can do is give a meek nod as she lets out what sounds like a disbelieving laugh.

“I thought they locked us in here because of me...” she then softly tacks on, “for the same reason.”

Understanding dawns on your face as you join her in laughing. “So what you’re saying is that they both knew and were tired of us doing nothing.” You’re still red from embarrassment, but you can feel the lightness of knowing your feelings aren’t one-sided. It fills you like a drug and you keep looking over her smile and similar blush to reaffirm it. 

In a moment of confidence, you reach across the table for her hand. You’ve held hands with her before, but this is different and you can both feel it. You rub your thumb gently across her knuckles before speaking. “How would you feel about going out tonight instead of movie night?”

“I would love that.”

-- 

When you come back from your date that night, you walk her to her door and press a sweet goodnight kiss to her cheek before walking in the direction of your room, a stupid smile on your face. Clint intercepts you on the way, only to say, “Great job, kiddo,” with two thumbs up and a grin. You lightly swat his arm but can’t wipe the joy off your face as you walk away from him. 

[lonelyandlovelorn]

Hello I absolutely love your Reader-insert fanfiction! Could u do one where the reader is known to be super innocent and like the little sister of the avengers, but when loki joins the team she’s literally the opposite around him and one day the avengers finds out they have been staying in each other’s rooms and are dating. Hope you have a great day

Oooooh I would love to write that one! It's on my list, I hope to get it written by the end of the weekend, thanks for your request!

[lonelyandlovelorn]

Scars

A/N: A lot of things with this. One, it roughly takes place in 2015/16? And we’re just gonna assume that tension in the team is low, that civil war isn’t on the horizon. Also, there’s quite a lot of Tony in this, if that’s something you don’t like. I’m also just going to place them in Avengers tower for convenience. I wanted to make a soulmate thing, and I like the idea of the shared scars one, but I needed to make it extra depressing, because I’m me I guess. Tattoos are sort of like scarring, so I just am counting that as something that also transfers. If you’re not comfortable with the warnings, do not read, please. 

Genre: Soulmate au, angst with a smidge of fluff

Warning: swearing, reference to self-harm and suicide attempt

Word count: 2600

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

Summary: Everyone bears their soulmate’s scars, but you don’t have anyone else to share with. Except maybe this world is weird and maybe that’s not true. 

Masterlist

You were 10 when you realized you didn’t have a soulmate. You were taught early on, as scars started to appear on your classmates that they hadn’t received. Teachers explained the scars one day, that every time your soulmate was scarred, it would show up on your body. You were 10 when you looked at your body to see that every mark was your own. You were 10 when you realized that the universe had looked at you and deemed you unworthy of love. 

You were 13 when you realized you were depressed. Unlike the rest of your classmates, who had either already met their soulmate or had one to look forward to, you had spent 3 years with the knowledge that you had no one weighing down on you.

You were 15 when you cut the first time. You just wanted to feel something, and who would you be hurting, if there was no one to take on your marks. You hid that habit for 2 years before you took it further. Your parents found you bleeding out in your bathroom and rushed you to the emergency room. You didn’t try anything more after that. That’s not to say everything was immediately better, but you realized when you woke up in the hospital to your mother and father with tears running down your face, you realized that maybe you didn’t need a soulmate to be loved. 

You grew up a little, moved forward. You got a semicolon tattoo on your wrist over your scars, for yourself, to prove to yourself that you could continue. You got better, never completely free, but you were okay. 

You were 24 when a scar showed up on your side that wasn’t yours. You stood in front of the mirror that morning after your shower, staring at your reflection. You were completely incomprehensive and unmoving. There was no way you were over 20 years older than your soulmate, but what other explanation could there be for suddenly finding scars that had never been there before?

-- 

Steve Rogers woke up in a world that was completely alien to him. He was so disoriented by the world around him that it was nearly a month before he noticed the scars on his wrists that hadn’t been there when he had gone under. For a long time, he had no idea what had happened, but he was even more confused by the ink in his skin. He obviously knew what a semicolon was, but could not figure out why there was one on his wrist. 

He realized suddenly one night when looking at them that they weren’t his. He had grown up during the Depression, hadn’t had the liberty of caring so much about soulmates, but he knew enough when he was younger that he didn’t have a soulmate. Somehow, though, he had come out of the ice only to find out he did have one, they were just from a different time.

It wasn’t until over a year later, when things had calmed down, aliens weren’t coming from the sky, and he had a team he trusted, that he found out more about those scars. Apparently Tony had seen them in passing, and in a moment of un-Tony-like concern, he had pulled Steve aside to ask about it, if he was okay. When these questions were met with confusion on Steve’s end, Tony quickly figured out that they weren’t Steve’s own doing. Seeing that Tony’s confusion lessened, but his concern didn’t, Steve became worried. 

“I assumed they were from an accident, although I’ve always been confused about the tattoo.” Tony looked hesitant to explain what he had deduced, but finally caved.

“Those cuts are self-inflicted.” Steve didn’t even seem to process what that meant, but he gave Tony his full attention anyway. “Your soulmate got really low sometime in their life, and they took out all their feelings out on themselves. They found a razor or a knife and cut themselves to distract from whatever their mental pain was.” Steve’s heart broke as he looked at the lines on his arm, understanding suddenly that he was meant for someone who had been through a lot of darkness. 

“But what about the tattoo?” he asked, confused what punctuation had to do with any of this. 

“Well that’s the good news and bad news I guess. It means that she likely made an attempt on her life at some point. But that tattoo means she survived. In short, the tattoo is supposed to symbolize that the sentence of her life didn’t end, it just had a pause and continued on with a new part.” Steve was relieved to understand the tattoo, but was sure he had never felt so much pain for another person, especially one he didn’t know. 

Steve thought it over for a moment before looking to Tony in more confusion. “How do you know so much about this?” 

Tony looked like he had hoped Steve wouldn’t ask, but nevertheless, rolled his own sleeve up to show his battle scars. “These aren’t Peppers. It was a long time ago, and I’m fine.” Steve was barely placated but knew he could do nothing for his friend. He was grateful to see substantially less scars on the billionaires wrist, though. 

A very manly hug was exchanged before they parted ways.

Steve could think of nothing but the pain his soulmate must have gone through for the next month, and the thoughts followed him through the next few years. 

-- 

Fucking aliens. Again. Why is it always aliens?

You hadn’t been around for the battle of New York, but you know about it. Everyone knows about it. At the time, you didn’t live in the city, moving there a few years following because rent was pretty cheap in a place that had been nearly destroyed. You had found a job, made a few friends, and you were okay. 

And then aliens attacked again. 

This time wasn’t nearly as bad as the first one, barely even comparable. But it still interrupted your day. The only good that came from it was meeting Iron Man. He had managed to save you from the roof caving in, and he dropped you off safely a good distance from the fighting. Everything happened so fast, you barely even knew what happened, and it’s not like there was time to chit chat, so it wasn’t so much meeting Iron Man as seeing Iron Man. 

You were watching the news footage back, admiring the efficiency of the Avengers. There was a clip of Captain America taking a hit to the thigh. It was uncannily close to where your newest scar was, but hundreds of people had been involved in the attack, there was no way you were fated to a national legend. Evening if the timing seemed to make more sense than being bound to a literal child, you couldn’t find it in yourself to think you were worthy of an actual hero.

And then Tony Stark showed up at your door. He was dressed casually, no metal suit in sight. Of course you recognized him, but that didn’t help you figure out why he was at your apartment. Thankfully, he explained himself, even if the conversation had a pretty rocky start. 

You invited him inside, where he sat on your couch uninvited, so you sat in the chair across from him. 

“Hi, I’m Tony Stark.”

“Yeah I know.” You probably shouldn’t snark a superhero, but you had no idea what you should do. 

He simply smiled at you before very abruptly asking, “Do you have a soulmate?”

You let out an incredulous laugh. “You’re not my soulmate.”

“No, I’m not, but I might know who is. Unless you’ve figured it out?” He continued speaking when you didn’t respond. “I’m guessing you thought you didn’t have a soulmate until about 4 years ago.”

“How-?” you began, only to be cut off.

“I’ll get to that. But first, can I see your wrist?” You weren’t ashamed of your scars, per se, but that didn’t mean you wanted to flaunt them to strangers. After a moment, though, you realized you couldn’t exactly deny him, so you stretched out your arm. He gave you a grim but sympathetic smile. 

“Thought so. You see, I was reviewing my helmet’s footage from the other day when I noticed something interesting on your arm. You had a pattern of scars that I had seen before, though it was pretty blurry and the only damning evidence was that tattoo.” You cocked your head, but didn’t interrupt. “Do you know who Steve Rogers is?”

“Who doesn’t? I paid attention in history class, but forgive me if I need to brush up before I take an exam.” Your reply only seemed to entertain him. 

“Oh you’re perfect. Well, as I’m sure you’re aware, Steve Rogers came out of the ice a while ago. And he came out with scars on his wrist. At first, I thought they were his, only to realize they were from his soulmate.”

Your eyes widened at what he was clearly telling you. Your ears began to ring at the simple notion that you could be meant for a man who risked his life everyday to save people. He was worth ten of you, how could you be the one for him?

“I can’t be his soulmate.” Of that you were certain.

“Why not?” 

“He’s… Captain America, war hero, national treasure, and a super soldier to boot. I don’t know if anyone is worth him, but I know it’s not me.” You didn’t meet Tony’s eyes, not trying to play for pity. 

“You’re not actually wrong about that. He absolutely is all of those things, but he’s also a man lost in the wrong time, absolutely confused, a major dork, and such a mother hen it’s smothering. What I’m trying to say is that he’s just a guy, and I think he would love to meet you. Plus, I looked you up first, you’re not some failure. You’ve got some stuff under your belt, and I have to say I 100% approve of your sass, you’d be good for him.” You rolled your eyes at the last comment, but still had to think it all over a moment before you could meet his gaze.

“Steve Rogers is my soulmate?” you asked, disbelieving.

“Pretty sure, as long as the stories match up like they seem to. Would you like to come meet him?”

“Today?!” You had started your day with the intention of maybe doing some work at home and treating yourself to a bubble bath, not meeting your soulmate. 

“Doesn’t have to be today.” He pulled something from a pocket and handed it to you. A business card. “You give me a call when you’re ready, but don’t keep him waiting too long. I think you could really help him out.” You were quiet as you took it. He stood up and you walked him out without another word, trying to process what had just happened. 

Two hours later you still couldn’t wrap your head around it. 

--

Steve and Tony were sitting in a pleasant silence the next day when Tony spoke up.

 “I found your soulmate.” 

Steve’s head snapped up so fast it hurt his neck. “You what?”

“I found your soulmate. I went to meet them and gave my contact information. I didn’t want to force you to meet, so I left it up to them.”

“Who? Are they okay?” Steve was dying of curiosity. 

“Yeah, they’re doing fine. I actually found them during that mess the other day and caught their tattoo on footage. I won’t tell you who it is though. They seemed a little spooked as is, so they’ll come when they’re ready.”

Steve nodded, thoughts running a mile a minute at the possibility of meeting his soulmate soon, after all this time. 

--

Three days later, you called Tony. You were nervous, but you needed to meet him. Something inside of you seemed to know that you knew who he was, but weren’t with him. You could feel it like an ache in your chest that reminded you of how it felt to know you didn’t have a soulmate. 

Tony told you to come by the tower the next day. 

-- 

You had never been more nervous. Not when you were waiting for application answers, not waiting for job interviews. You felt ready to burst at your own nerves. You were directed to an elevator off to the side from the main one. You didn’t press any buttons as you were taken to a floor you didn’t even know the number of. As the doors opened, you walked into the room it had stopped at. Tony met you there with a smile before telling you to follow him. You were silent as you walked through the tower behind the genius, in awe of your surroundings. 

Finally, he stopped in what looked like a common area, with a big couch and a television. There was no one around, but he gestured for you to sit down before disappearing. Being left alone in such a foreign place nearly had your nerves shot to hell. You were jittery and nauseous and so scared. What if he saw what you always had? What if Tony was wrong?

You heard them before you saw them. They sounded like they were bickering as they walked through the halls. The talking stopped as soon as he saw you though. 

Seeing a random person in the tower that Tony seemed to be aware of and unconcerned by brought Steve to the only logical conclusion. He looked to Tony for confirmation, who only nodded before stepping away. 

The silence continued as you both simply looked at each other. He moved towards you slowly, sitting a spot away from you on the couch. 

You cleared your throat before breaking the quiet. “Hi, I’m Y/N.” You could think of nothing more to say.

“Steve Rogers.” You could see that his thoughts were moving as rapidly as yours, but he kept glancing in the direction of your wrists. Realizing what he was trying to figure out without asking, you let out a breath before lifting your sleeve to show him.

“I was in a bad place when I was younger. I thought the universe had doomed me to be alone and I thought that meant I wasn’t worth anything at all. And it got worse, but I’m okay now. I failed and realized people cared about me, and I’m fine.” He seemed to deflate in relief as you spoke, and it warmed you to realize that he had been worried about you even without actually knowing you. 

“I was pretty certain that I didn’t have a soulmate when I went under, and I was okay with that because I didn’t want to selfishly sacrifice myself only for it to affect someone else.” You smiled at him encouragingly.

It was slow and it was awkward, but you met your soulmate and you were ecstatic. 

--

Tony walked back towards the main room 15 minutes later to make sure they weren’t still sitting in silence. He couldn’t hold back his grin as he heard them speaking, Steve being teased incessantly and taking it like a champ. 

Tony felt like he had done some good. 

Because, yeah, it was a good thing.