LonelyManThoughts

Alone man, mid 30's, recognising my toxic traits of my past is part of the crafting required so that I could become a better man. I'm 🤏 sad. here is where I vent that sadness. 🪬

[lonelymanthoughts]

still fucked up..

Overhearing someone giving advice to someone on how you can use mental health and suicidal thoughts to manipulate the system; while I'm sitting there silently fighting those demons for a few years.. really did leave me internally fucking speechless for a mo.

Oh yeah, still homeless after 2 years of sofa surfing on my nans sofa, she died in June 2025, no one gives a fuck, no one wants to help, they just want her house back now.

This is 2026 in the UK by the way.

[lonelymanthoughts]

im sad, like down and out sad, everyone sees it but no one can be bothered to care. My 9 year old autistic son see me, didn't say a word and gave me a cuddle. Made me realise I don't actually need anyone except him, all the people I have helped over the years putting them before myself. This, at the start of 2026 is such an amazing eye opener, me and my son. We are having a selfish year this year. It's all about me and him. Everyone else can rot.

[lonelymanthoughts]

Feel like everyone is angry at me today, but can't for the life of me work out why.

[lonelymanthoughts]

35 1/2 years I lasted, just been prescribed antidepressants and anti anxiety by the doctors. I reached out for help but now I feel like more of a failure.

I don't want to take the drugs, the drugs make you poorly.

🤯😐

[lonelymanthoughts]

[lonelymanthoughts]

Life as a man:

The last time I was hugged was February 2023.

*context* during an emotional breakdown to a Co worker when I was sleeping rough and couldn't wash my clothes.

[lonelymanthoughts]

No one likes me, not even myself, so today is day 1 of being someone new.

hmm, you seem different, that's my goal

[lonelymanthoughts]

One day I hope this page will change

[lonelymanthoughts]

What makes a man a man is not the man himself, it's what he has, earns, provides and is willing to give.

So based on the same logic, what makes a woman a woman?

[lonelymanthoughts]

When a man admits he needs help, he will discover the opinions that others have held against him.

If he has true loyal friends, they will support and encourage.

If he has snake friends, he will be left alone, rapidly.

For everyone that walked away from me, when I invested my energy into you when you needed help.

I hope you find a friend like you.

[lonelymanthoughts]

Something I've realise that I am the master of in real life...

Masking depression.

Worst of all I do it to make everyone else comfortable.

[lonelymanthoughts]

[lonelymanthoughts]

Her: life's not all about money, you're obsessed, we want you not your money.

Also her: he took me on dates, drove a tesla, bought me gifts, bought me dinner, treated me to things..

[lonelymanthoughts]

Depression when you are alone is one hell of a battle. Only person who I can liase with is my internal depressed self. Maybe it is time to go to the doctors and take some of their meds to help me through the day...

[lonelymanthoughts]

To expect someone to love you, when you don't love yourself is mind blowing for me.

How will they, when even you can't?

Craaazy level of expectations right there.

[lonelymanthoughts]

The worst part of my day is when it comes to the evening.

when the busier part is over, works finished, no more chatter, calls, emails.

I come home and keep myself busy for about an hour with jobs, then boom.

Silence.

Just myself.

Then I start to think... and it is a dangerous time, internal emotions battling each other, neither knowing the answer.

I'm my own worse enemy.

[lonelymanthoughts]

For me even talking to someone else feels like cheating, despite us being seperated, I guess i know who won that game of 'who loves who the most' 💔