I was coming back home for a break on a plane yesterday. Before boarding I had noticed (it was kind of impossible not to) this Goddess with short leather pants exposing magnificent creamy white legs in clear heeled flesh-pink boots with matching pink socks. I had to pick my jaw up off the floor the first time I looked at (and drooled over) her.
I tried to talk to her two times on the plane, but her response was pure ice-bitch both times. The second time she cut me down to size in front of other passengers and a stewardess. I walked back to my seat like a humiliated dog with my tail between my legs. I stared at her boots (all I could see from my seat) and tried (unsuccessfully) to imagine being a real stud who was good enough to fuck her.
I was walking in town after and two beautiful women were walking down the stairs from the train to the street. One in a tight tube top exposing her perfect midriff and tight against magnificent breasts, the other in skin tight white see through jeans and a low cut top. Total power and perfection. They were taking selfies, posing and primping on the stairs, no doubt tormenting their many social media orbiters with what they can never EVER have.
As I looked trance-like, the tube top girl gave me a look of total rejection, disgust and contempt, while the tight jeans girl called me out verbally.
Later I relived their collective contempt as I orgasmed with my girlfriend. My first sex in three months. My first orgasm in three months.
I remember, just now, some exercises a bitchy girl I know had told me to do several months back, that I tried, and failed, to do. They involved a hands free orgasm where I clasped my hands behind my back, imagined ridicule from women who had rejected me across the years, and came hands free to my humiliation. Even though I was not able to complete the exercises after several attempts upon her order; it appears her goal of having me only able to achieve orgasm to humiliation by SUPERIOR WOMEN like her has been realized. I admit I had been going down that road for a while, but had, for the most part, fought it off -till she arrived on the scene. Now I cannot orgasm without some measure of humiliation.
I see sexy, powerful women, and all I want to do is serve them. My sex drive is for the most part subjugated. Or connected to service.
But I am not unhappy with this turn of events. And it doesn't necessarily make me feel like a loser, either.
I just feel like beautiful women are superior to me. Period. They do not want me. They never have. They never will, unless it is as friends.
BUT I still WANT THEM. Bad. So I need to put up with any mistreatment they wish to give me, if I wish to play ANY role in their lives.
That's just what real life as an inferior doormat to hot girls I want but can never have, is....
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