The Bowery Presents
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Hole
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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One Nice Bug Per Day

Kiana Khansmith

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Noah Kahan

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@lonetravelertheory
I love Josh’s anti-classism so much. I grew up in a single parent household that didn’t have time/the ability to cook. I taught myself as an adult and ended up loving it. I cook with this stuff a lot. Shit, the RealLemon juice ends up in a lot of my cocktails. Sure, I like fancy ingredients when I can afford them and I have things I get picky about using - but I have bad hands, mincing garlic is painful as fuck. There’s a lot to be said for knowing how to work with what you have. Don’t shame people for trying, don’t shame people for feeding their families things that they enjoy.
if you are only a good cook if you have access to premium ingredients at whole foods or above prices then you arent really a good cook
My kitten tried to kill my stuffed tribble. My roommate remarked that my tribble killing cat would make a great Klingon pet… and she’s right.
Imagine a Klingon ship having a cat that protects them from tribbles & vermin. They have to get the cat from a shelter run by humans and they’re like “This is the honorable Mr. Chonks”.
“Yes, our ship also has an earth feline. Her name is Carrot and she fights like a warrior.”
There’s absolutely a Klingon out there who lost an eye to a feral cat that he then adopted.
Klingons who go “pspspspsps” to get the Ship Cat to come hang out during break.
Orange Ship Cat that gets lost in the jeffires tubes and Klingon whose sole job is to go fetch the orange cat. He acts like he hates his job but he actually really adores his feline co-worker so much.
Klingon that always hands things to the Ship Cat so it can sniff it.
Klingon that intentionally grabs boxes to enrich Ship Cat’s little life. Sometimes they get multiple boxes and the crew bets on which box will be deemed “best box” by their fluffy little warrior.
Klingon that starts his work shift saying “Qapla'!” to Ship Cat who meows in return.
Newly Minted Ship Kitten climbing up to a Klingon Captain’s shoulder with her tiny needle claws while said Captain is attempting to be intimidating on the viewscreen.
Klingon who gets a head bunt from Ship Cat and gives it a head bunt back.
Start
What have I missed?
This is what Rasputin would've wanted.
I feel like I'm being seduced like one of those fancy rainforest birds
is it working
Yes
Wherever this king is, I hope he's happy and well. Stay iconic. ❤️✌️
I got a virus from that screenshot of Limewire
I hate you all
I miss my guy paperclip
I hate you all for this
I heard this post.
I highkey feel attacked
Tumblr law: Always reblog the queen.
If you don’t have this on your blog at least once, get out.
A original meme.
WHY HAVE I NEVER SEEN THE WHOLE MEME WHAT EVEN MY LIFE IS A LIE
The OG of memes.
OH MY GOD I’VE NEVER SEEN THE FULL THING BEFORE.
3mill+ notes and counting
HOLY SHIT
@lonetravelertheory how dare you hide this in the tags!!!! 😅😏
Still stand by what I said @lonetravelertheory
I had to immediately gif this one
lmao 😂😭
I think we may have forgotten someone.
Reblog if you stand against order, civilization, and goodness itself
goes hard ngl
Consider:
(via File Photo)
WTF are those obelisks on the right?…
Tasty obelisk fries..
“It’s digestible” has got to be the laziest goal I’ve ever seen achieved by a food product.
“It’s digestible”
“It’s digestible” is pertinent!! Okay, for those of you who haven’t researched Crisco for writing fic about gay sex in the mid-late 60s:
The first-edition of The Joy of Gay Sex, published in 1977, declared, “Vegetable shortening may be the best lubricant, since it is not only greasy but also digestible”[4] Such a statement perhaps gives new meaning to the companies boastful declarations that “Its digestible” and “Crisco has been making life in the kitchen more delicious for years.” Similarly, in the 1978 sex manual The Advocate Guide to Gay Health, Crisco even earned an entry in the book’s index. Discussions of the shortening’s use as an anal lubricant indicate its popularity, with statements such as: “The lubricant, typically the cultic Crisco, must be copious.”[5] In fact, Crisco was so synonomus with gay sex that discos and bars around the world took on the name, such as Crisco Disco in New York City, which was one of the premiere clubs during the 1970s and early 1980s. Other clubs or bathhouses, such as Club Z in Seattle, even featured murals with Crisco. Thus, Crisco was conversely also one of many things that led to the formation of gay identities during the 20th century.
from this essay: http://www.columbia.edu/~sf2220/TT2007/web-content/Pages/drew2.html
The more you know! :D
I have learned a new thing today.
Love this post for so many reasons but most especially because this is from all the way back in 2012 and and yet not a single blog in this thread is deactivated
I enjoy that not only does this have a link to an actual source, but the link still fucking works.
but @rhea314 you didnt include a picture of the crisco disco! AND MY GOD THE DJ BOOTH WAS A GIANT CRISCO CAN!
Go dance and get fisted. Fucking iconic.
Love the gay history, but i just wanna correct that the “it’s digestible” in the gay stuff was a reference to crisco’s tagline it had been using since 1911, the actual meaning of its digestible is because it’s main competition came from “enhanced” lards which were rendered pig fat mixed with non food thickeners that literally did not digest and caused people to basically just shit out pig cream, since crisco was veggie based the body digested it along with the food
And in case you were still wondering, @mudwerks.. Tuna Croquettes
This post is the opposite of net zero information. Not only did I learn several new facts about gay history but also we rounded our way back to the original question of the tag line and the mini obelisks.
It’s a net profit of information. 12/10 post
Are you homosexual? That masturbates??
yes and yes
so I'm reading a book of insults, as you do, and I am stumped. pole-axed. agog. if there were legal curses in ancient Egypt, what were the illegal curses?? who decided which curses were legal and which ones weren't?? the public (me) deserves to know
[end submission] i'm passing this off to @thatlittleegyptologist because legal texts are her whole thing but i will say this is a misunderstanding of the word "legal". it's not the legal/illegal sense it's the like... legal warning sense. legal warning would be a better term actually y'know like. a legal contract is a contract drawn up by lawyers... or it could be a contract that does not violate any laws. i hate english.
Hello and welcome to...
[image id: Image of the 'You just activated my trap card meme' which features a black man in a beige and white jacket, looking smug as he prepares to play yugioh cards. end id.]
What you've got there is a quote from what's known as the Adoption Papyrus, which is a legal document created for Nebnefer and Nanefer, a couple who were unable to have children of their own. This being so, that Nebnefer formally adopted his wife as his 'child' so that she would become the sole heir and his family couldn't get their hands on his property and any wealth the two had made together. Basically, the original document serves as a procès-verbal, so if the family tried to take her inheritance away, she could produce this document and they'd have to hand it back. They were still in some legal jeopardy, because his wife had no children, but could on his death, remarry, and potentially have children with a new partner. This would still avoid the dreaded family getting hold of his property and turfing his wife out to live alone on the streets. This is what happened to women if they were not provided for by their husbands before death and the family of the deceased husband wasn't kind. Nebnefer would have been well within his rights to cast aside Nanefer for a wife who could produce children, as per Egyptian custom, but he didn't, and instead created this document to protect her.
So 17 years later an amendment is made to the same document by Nebnefer and Rennefer (same woman, just the name has changed for some reason). During this time they have bought a servant woman, and she has three children. Rennefer is written about in the 1st person, and she states that she has adopted the children of this servant as her own and has been raising them as her own. It is also noted that Rennefer's brother Pendiu has moved in, in the meantime, and has married the eldest daughter of the servant woman. In creating this amendment, Nebnefer not only bequeaths his estate to his three adopted children, but this process formally makes them 'freemen of the Pharaoh', while their mother remains a servant and gives up claim to them, as does whomever their father is. Due to the fact that Pendiu has married the eldest daughter, he becomes de-facto in charge of the estate on Nebnefer's death, but this will take care of Rennefer and the three children. This is the specific passage:
On this day: statement of the Chief of the Stable Nebnefer together with his wife, the Chantress of Seth (of) Sepermeru, Rennefer, to the effect that:
“We have bought a female slave Dinihutiry, and she bore these 3 children – one male and two female, total 3 – and I took them and I looked after them and brought them up, and I have reached today with them, with then not doing anything bad against me, but doing good to me, and there being no (other) son or daughter (of ours) apart from them, and the Chief of the Stable Pendiu entered my house, and he made Taamenniut, their elder sister, as wife, he being mine – my younger brother – and I accepted him for her. He is with her today. Look, I have made them free men of the Land of Pharaoh, l.p.h.. If she shall give birth, a son or daughter, they are freemen of the Land of Pharaoh, l.p.h. just the same, being with the Chief of the Stable Pendiu, this younger brother of mine, the younger ones together with their elder sister in the house of Pendiu, this Chief of the Stable, this younger brother of mine. I am making him into a son for me today just like them.”
On the verso, the reverse of the document, is where we find the threat you've got quoted there. This is specifically targeted at Nebnefer's family who are not happy at being cut out of receiving his property and seek to denounce the children as illegitimate. The full passage reads:
She said: “As Amun endures, as the Ruler l.p.h. endures, I make these people whom I have publicised as freemen of the Land of Pharaoh, l.p.h., so that if the son or daughter, brother or sister of their mother or their father should make claim against them, apart from Pendiu, the son of mine, with whom they are in no way slaves, but with whom they are brothers and children, being freemen of the Land <of Pharaoh, l.p.h.>, a donkey shall fuck him, and a donkey shall fuck his wife, the one who shall say “Slave!” to one of them. If I have fields in the countryside, if I have any property in the world, if I have SAwAtyw, they are divided up for my 4 children, Pendiu being one of them. As for all the things I have said, they are entrusted to Pendiu, this child of mine who has acted well to me when I have been a widow, and my husband dead.”
Basically, she's saying 'If my husband's brothers and sisters want to make a fuss about this, and insult the children by calling them slaves, then I hope a donkey fucks him and then also fucks his wife for good measure. They're legitimate, don't fucking come for them or you will face the consequences.'
This is a 'legal threat' in the sense that it is one that comes within a legal document, and legal documents tend to have this sort of thing in them. They're not curses, because it relies on an action being taken, which is why we say 'threat' not 'curse'. It's 'I hope a donkey will fuck you in the ass if you mess with my kids' not 'a donkey will fuck you in the ass if you mess with my kids'. The fact that Nebnefer's brothers and sisters are witnesses to this document, means that they are well aware of its contents and the threat it contains should they seek to delegitimise it.
I absolutely fucking love that we know this. We have the details of a family squabble and its legal resolution from thousands of years ago, we're able to tell things about the lives and personalities of these people despite the vast gulf of time that separates us.
Just...trying to imagine filling out a living will or something and including some salty asides on the back of one page because my relatives are nutsacks...and having it discovered, documented, and heatedly discussed centuries in the future.
Moral of the story; if you’re going to curse someone, make it memorable?
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
yeah okay ill reblog that
Subject your Followers to your favorite Stupid Bullshit.