Lucy's DDR: Rejection And.... Building Options
So, I was rejected by my first community team here in Boston. I was sad, because although I came out of that audition pretty level-headed, I always tend to let the anticipation grow. Specifically, the audition choreo this round was not difficult per-say, but there were a lot of dancers in the room. But in the week of radio silence from the team, I let myself think, what if?
As much as the next person, I hate rejection. I hate the way it takes my journey and connection with dance out of my own hands, and into that of someone else: "No you cannot train with us! We don't want to share space and time with your dance." (cries)
At this time, I remind myself that my connection to dance is deeper than any one gateway, and that if a single door closes, I have an internal connection to it that I should be fostering and strengthening in the first place. I remember the first semester of sophomore year, having come back from Seoul that summer where I took my first ever choreo dance classes, I was rejected from Donk, but started training with McKersin in the freestyle dance class at MIT. It became my steepest dance growth, and most memorable cherished time, up-to date.
Additionally, there are great dancers who were never gifted opportunities, but had to create them for herself. Watch Danyel Moulton's podcast for example, where she talks about building the best team she possibly could, and building a career for herself rather than going to auditions in Hollywood.
But bringing this back to my situation. Actually, I had come back from LA swearing off dance teams for at least a semester: I thought that the growth-to-time-spent ratio was too low, given all the weekends swallowed up by performances. However, my attempts of training through classes this month have made me consider otherwise: the classes here do not inspire and push me the same way the classes did in LA. A lot of teachers do not know how to teach, or do not come prepared enough to push their students. I need a community of pushers. So in these teams, I am seeking more systematic training where I'm guaranteed returns.
That would be the easy way out: to join a team and its community.
Harder is building my own training system. Let's conduct a thought experiment, of what this would entail:
Friend group with regular practice hours at a certain time of the week, to drill choreo and fundamentals and share realizations
Regular classes with regular attendance and growth over time
Private lessons
Regular reflections: monitoring growth, and tracking what kind of dancer I'm becoming!
Battles and sessions, pro-active signing up
So all is not loss. I'm excited for where I can take myself with a regular system!
