RP Interactions Want/Will/Won't List
What is a Want / Will / Won't List?
A Want / Will / Won't list is a tool for establishing consent, setting expectations, and enforcing personal boundaries within relationships of all types. I learned it from Sexologist and Clinical Therapist Dr. Lindsay Doe, whose work I'm a general fan of, and find it intensely helpful when communciating both desires and boundaries with a new playmate for any activity from the NSFW kind to DND.
There are a few ways to establish a new Want / Will / Won't list.
1: Make your own and share it publicly ( I'm doing this one right now! )
Making and posting your own list means Defining The Relationship its for ( in this case, RP relationships in general ) and filling out each field with examples of your personal preferences, and posting it where folks can find it.
2: Make your list while a specific individual is making theirs for That Specific Relationship Between You, and share them privately with one another for comparison and discussion.
3: Word Association Game! If making a long ass list that people may not even bother to read sounds like a crock of shit you don't even wanna expend effort on ( been there ) you can also have Want / Will / Won't discussions with the specific person you're getting to know, taking turns putting forward interactions and behaviors for the other person to say if that is a Want, Will, or Won't for them, allowing you to respond in kind where it lands for you, and discussing the nuances of each others boundaries before its their turn to put forward something and have you say Want, Will, or Won't.
This method works best with someone whom you have some rapport with, at least to the point that you're both comfortable laughing off awkwardness.
Alright alright, I hear you saying. Neat idea, Lore, but what do the catagories MEAN?????
Good question! Let's get into it.
Ideal RP partner behaviors, ideal plots, ideal communication methods and frequency, What Does Getting Everything You Want Look Like To You? List out minimum 30 things about that Absolute Ideal Relationship for you that are Within A Partner's Ability To Contribute to.
For me, off the top of my head, are things that would be on my RP Want List;
No schedule or reply pressure
Partner is accessable for personal OOC chatting within an aquaitences understanding, no matter how close our characters may be
Partner is EXCITED about Aristel and how she fits into the Batman universe
Partner asks about Aristel and where she was during canon works, and desires to thread within those spaces of thought
Partner cares about character arcs and building relationships
Partner understands I Am An Adult Person With A Hobby
Writing with other adults
Partner Understands I Am Not A Batman Encylopedia And Is Willing To Teach Without Ridicule, and does not Make Me Feel Stupid for never having interacted with a given piece of media.
Seat of pants interactions
Starting new things and accepting most threads will not get capped off like novels if "finished" at all
Making art inspired by interactions to be shared privately first and publicly a day or two later
NSFW interactions in a private venue, such as Discord.
Partner willing to articulate their own boundaries BEFORE exploding and starting a fandom wide drama llama herding session.
I could go on, but the above is example of a good start.
WILL is the things You Are Okay With. Sure, I don't mind kinda vibes.
In my case, my Will list would contain
Saying hello or good morning when I've recently replied
Clarifying unclear language for my partner
Editing replies if I forgot or contradicted something
Watching or reading a piece of the Batman canon I'm normally disintetested in, provided it does not cause me distress to interact with
Notifying of absence when I know its coming
Notifying of return when able
Friendly OOC interactions with intent towards building a personal friendship outside of RP
Discussions of trauma and abuse in a private venue
Discussions of writing technique and skill building excercises
Playing with Partners with Icons or who use canon images in threads, provided they understand I Cannot Do The Same Because All Images Of Aristel Must Be Made By My Own Hand and I Don't Got Time For That Shit.
Playing with partners from Non Batman / DC universes
Playing with chatacters of the wider DC canon, understanding I Will Need To Be Taught About Them
WON'T is HARD NO, do not ask me again unless I bring it up.
For me, this list includes;
RPing NSFW with minors, mun or muse
Unplotted violence or violation
Gotcha plots, if we are playing I Am Not Interested In Being Tricked At Any Point. If you're playing a Riddler, we need to be able to talk about the puzzle OOC and HOW Aristel might work within it to figure it out.
Explicit NSFW on Tumblr; when I play Ari sexy in a public venue it is the only interaction I see and I Hate It. You want the steamy stuff you need to demonstraight enough respect for her As A Chatacter before I'm willing to get hot n heavy.
That's the gist, and I'll be making more specfic lists in the future both for Aristel and Synapse.
Once I have Completed General Lists, it'll become part of the blog directory planned for the pinned post
