WHEN I'M FUCKED UP, THAT'S THE REAL ME

SEBASTIAN MICHAEL SMYTHE, but you already knew that. As long as you don't run around like a fucking idiot, we should get along somewhat well. It's safe to say I've already fucked your mom. Mess with my siblings, my girlfriend, or any of the few people I care about, you'll wish you were dead.

[lordbastian]

charliexwilde:

Did it ever occur to you to say no rather than let them think that they need to throw themselves at you?

Why the fuck would any guy in their right mind say no to sex?

[lordbastian]

nikbabes:

It’s not like I have my eyes set on someone, Smythe. Also let it be known that only sad drunken Nik is bummed that she is single. Sober/Happy drunken Nikki is ecstatic to be single and fuck whichever lucky guy and or gal is giving her the sex stare at the club.

Well, I know I’m not currently speaking with the sad and drunken version of Nikki, but any guy or girl would be lucky to have her. Mind passing the message along next time you see her, s'il te plaît?

[lordbastian]

charlotte–bberry:

I’m sure we would have still became fuck buddies, because lets be serious, you can’t resist me.  Obviously. I guess you do have to suck it up babe. But its okay, because I have to deal with you being perfect as well.

Fine fine, you can tease me. I’ll let that slide for now. I’m the one that is supposed to be a tease, but come on babe its not often that I just tease you and not follow through with pleasing. So you can’t be upset with me for that. No, we haven’t had sex while we’ve been fucked up, but we’re going to change that soon. Well because you are a very good boyfriend and you like making me smile, which you do most of the time. Aw baby, thank you and you are very handsome today as always.

You’re quite irresistible, there’s no denying that. You think I’m perfect, huh? I can’t argue with that statement.

I knew it wouldn’t take much convincing. Yes, but you often put me under the impression that you’re going to tease and not please, then you surprise me with the pleasing part. No fair, babe, no fair. Your smile is definitely the most soothing thing on this planet. I’m pretty sure it could cure someone of their disease. Well, that’s a given. 

[lordbastian]

qxeenreina:

Yeah, I know I’m hot as fuck, but I’m speaking literally, Smythe. 

No shit, Sherlock. Maybe it’s the weather’s way of suggesting you walk around with less clothing on your body.

[lordbastian]

griffinevans:

Oh, trust me… I told him to fuck off and then some. The look of sheer terror on his face at a girl screaming at him was enough to possibly win me $250 from one of those ‘send your home videos into us’ shows. Good to meet you, Sebastian. Pleasure’s definitely yours though.

Good for you, Barbie. Maybe you would’ve had a chance to win that cash prize if someone recorded that little confrontation. Oh, is it? Unless it turns out I’m able to tolerate you, which rarely happens, I’m rather sure the pleasure is only yours.

[lordbastian]

holdennotcaulfeildsmythe:

I just don’t understand why you are so mean.

And I don’t understand why you’re so fuckin’ annoying. Oh, wait, that’s nothing new for you either.

What’s up, loser?

[lordbastian]

theasmythe:

It is a saying, dumbass. Do I really look like a person who would embarrass anyone not on a purpose? If you fuck something up then I might do it, but other than that, you’re safe.

Call me a dumbass one more time and you’ll wake up with a fork in your neck. Why on earth would I fuck something up? Do you even know who you’re talking to? Sebastian Smythe doesn’t unintentionally fuck things up.

[lordbastian]

charliexwilde:

I’m pretty sure girls are worth a lot more than that, actually I know they are.

Yeah... not all of them. You’d be surprised at how many girls desperately throw themselves at me rather than the other way around.

[lordbastian]

nikbabes:

Yesterday was National Girlfriend Day, apparently. But since I’m single AF, it was National Drink Away Your Loneliness Day. Cheers to that, I guess. Not cheers to this terrible fucking hangover, though. Any hangover cures, you guys?

It’s not like someone’s forcing you at gunpoint to be single, Weston.

[lordbastian]

charlotte–bberry:

Well good thing you didn’t boot me out of your door, if that happened there would be no us. And that’s a sad thought. Of course, I’m not an idiot. I knew you were the type to prove it to me, and I knew the sex was already going to be amazing. And no there is no way for me to stop, im sorry. 

Fine, I’ll give you a free pass to tease me and not please me just this once. And again, only because you are sick. Oh but can we get fucked up and have sex, because why the hell not? Sex with you is always the best sex, lets be real baby. I like when you are sweet though, especially when the moments when you are falling asleep next to me and telling me how pretty I am. I love that. You and I both know I don’t have time to play those silly little games, so of course I am going to just accept that you think I am adorable.

A sad thought indeed. Honestly, thank God you aren’t a complete idiot, although I’m sure we would’ve ended up becoming fuck buddies anyway even if you were on the slower side. Damn – I guess I’ll have to suck it up, then.

It’s the least you could do for your sick boyfriend. Kidding, kidding. You do kind of owe me, though, ‘cause you’re always the one teasing me. Sex while high and drunk at the same time is probably even more amazing than usual. I don’t think I’ve ever had sex while fucked up with you. Well, luckily for you I enjoy boosting up your self confidence. You’re so pretty, by the way. I forgot to tell you that today. 

[lordbastian]

blaine-blazergames:

Oh I know Seb, you’re the bad boy and everyone knows it.

Oh I google don’t you worry, but studying law is very tedious so sometimes I need to study for long periods of time. Oh do you want me to bring you some soup? I make a really good chicken noodle soup and it really does help when sick.

Was that sarcasm, Anderson?

Ah, you’re a law student. I almost went in that direction myself but both my parents are lawyers, and following in their footsteps would have been seen as too... predictable. Soup would be much appreciated.

[lordbastian]

theasmythe:

…you’re the cutest, Bassy. Nothing, really. I was wondering when are you going to crash a party, or something. I kind of need to go out, too. Actually, why don’t we make our own rave or some shit? Ain’t no party like a Smythe Duo party.

Did you really just say “ain’t?” I’ll gladly throw a rave with you, but if you embarrass me, I’m gonna pretend I don’t know who the hell you are.

[lordbastian]

holdennotcaulfeildsmythe:

You’re annoying. No one, I just want to know why you are being so mean to me.

You act like me being mean is something brand new.

[lordbastian]

hallebxtch:

There’s a reason I get people into bed so easily, my good looks don’t just sway people to follow after me. I’m much more tolerable than most people, honestly. Maybe not, but they’re lucky enough to even be worthy enough of my time next to you and Char.

Really? Hm, weird – I could’ve sworn it was just ‘cause of that great rack. You’re probably a lot more tolerable than I am, I’ll give that to you. That’s exactly what I like to hear. What’s new with you, Barbie?

[lordbastian]

charliexwilde:

I’m not really sure blowjobs are comparable to friendships. Unless you choose your friends by how good they are at giving one.

As long as they have a vagina, then yes, that’s most likely how I’d choose my friendships.

[lordbastian]

griffinevans:

Whoever is banging on the walls in the hallway at 6:30am on a Saturday… I will not hesitate to throw something at you. Possibly my fist. I’m Griff, by the way. Griffin Evans..

Sounds like that moron may have just gotten laid for the first time in his life. Just go out there and tell him to fuck off. I’m Sebastian – the pleasure is all yours, sweets.

[lordbastian]

qxeenreina:

Where the fuck is winter, because it is too damn hot to do anything right now, fuck. It feels like a goddamn sauna.

Maybe it’s just you, Lopez.