Something Snapped

The boy is fragile, broken—broke himself—broke everything. I asked him why he did it. He said because the world was unlivable. He said it was unlovable, but I think he meant himself. I think he meant that loneliness is sometimes painful. I curl against him, tuck my head beneath his chin and listen to his heart. It says stay and wait. It says regret. He knows what it is to want love, a love so fierce you grow roots. I hear his heart say please.

[umanisti]

[lorsolano]

Drunk Lor at Poppy and Oscar

@artsandpoppy @hesanightmare

[lorsolano]

artsandpoppy‌:

“I don’t really want to leave her yet unless I have to, you know? She goes to her father’s of course, but that’s different,” she explains, her stomach dropping at Lor’s offer to watch Lia themselves. It wasn’t that Poppy thought they would be bad at it or didn’t trust them it was just, well, she barely even liked leaving her with Oscar sometimes. It was just too hard to part with her for more than a couple of hours. Biting at her lip, she finally settles on what to say - sticking to the truth as nicely as she can. “I would love that,” she promises, shooting them a genuine smile. “Maybe when she’s older and I’m actually ready to let go a little. But ‘till then I’ll keep bringing her when I stop by, alright?” It was something she was already going to do - but now she makes the mental note to remember it always. A little giggle escapes her lips at Lorence’s joke as Poppy returns the smile brightly. “I would hope you haven’t. It’s a lil more embarrassing for someone your age to be spitting up left and right like her.”

“No no... thats fine. Thats fair. I wouldnt be good at it anyway. Im not meant to watch kids. I can barely watch myself.” The joke fell short as Lorence shifted, dropping their hand in their lap as they looked over Lia. Taking in a deep breath, they looked back up at Poppy shaking their head quickly. They didnt want her to feel obligated in letting them watch their daughter and understood how it must look knowing how they were. “Its fine. Look, I get it. Shes young and your first child and you are right. I can’t even take care of myself. I cant help look after a child so its fine and I can just see her when you bring her by.” Lor stood up quickly, grabbing their cane as they moved to grab something to drink. Taking a water from the fridge, they looked back to her quickly before nodding slowly. “Yeah... really embarrassing.” 

[lorsolano]

artsandpoppy‌:

“She comes with me. Most of my days lately are spent sitting with her and other customers in the crafting area while my employees handle the actual store. But when I’m needed we switch - they watch her for a bit while I handle customers. I’m always in the building with her,” Poppy answers, a little defensive after the way Lorence questioned her and her parenting. Sure, it was probably a controversial choice to bring Vidalia to work with her, but it was working well so far and she much preferred this over daycare. “It wouldn’t be healthy for them either. Just like it’s not healthy for anyone to do… ” Another pointed comment as she tried to steer the conversation back, despite their best attempt to distract her with a joke. The bit of tension that had started to form in her shoulders lessens as Lor begins to to coo at her daughter - the sight filling her with so much happiness that she begins to glow again, a soft champagne color that radiates off her skin. “She likes you, you know. You can tell because she hasn’t spit up at all yet.“

Lor watched her before shaking their head quickly. “Sorry... sorry. I just meant that... nothing. Never mind.” They knew she wouldnt put her daughter in a place where she might  not be safe. They really should be a bit nicer to Poppy especially since she kept staying and trying but mostly because she deserved so much better in a friend. If this was even what friends did, which Lor was beginning to doubt because they didnt imagine they would stay long if someone treated them like this. “I just worried that she was being left with a babysitter or something and...” They looked down at the table trying to figure out what they wanted to say to her. “I was going to offer for me to watch her if... I could watch her if you wanted but... you got it covered and I wouldnt be great at it anyway.” Looking back up to Lia, Lor smiled softly moving to take her hand once more playfully moving it back and forth as they faked surprise. “I like her. I havent spit up today either.” Looking over the carrier, they smiled at Poppy. 

[lorsolano]

artsandpoppy‌:

“And we didn’t end our conversation there on the best of terms,” she reminds them, eyes searching their face and frowning a little at the way they seemed to be holding back a bit. Why exactly, Poppy wasn’t sure - but there sure wasn’t the usual determination and heat in their voice and attitude. “We both needed some time to cool down. Plus, I upped my hours a bit at the store. Still not back to full-time, but getting there.” Both reasonings had been equally at play in why she had waited so long to visit. But now it seemed like things had indeed cooled down (considering they hadn’t slammed the door in her face when she arrived) and the store was back to it’s normal business - giving her the chance to take another day off to finally come ‘round to the farm. “Yes, but she’s not holing herself up alone for weeks on end, now is she?” It’s a pointed comment, but her tone remains light so as to not come across too harsh. Shifting the carrier a bit so that Lia was now facing Lorence, she watched the two interact with a soft smile. “I’ll agree with you there, but I’m also very good at multitasking. I can worry about multiple people at once.”

“Well it was a soft subject matter that you were playing around with.” They mumbled. Their voice as tired as they seemed though Lor was trying desperately to put any life into it. “Who is taking care of Lia if you upped your hours?” There was a bit of judgment in their voice that they  hadnt meant to put emphasis on. Surely she wasnt just leaving her baby with anyone, though Lor merely shook their head afterwards to appear uninterested. Looking back to Lia, Lor gave another small smile hesitating as they moved to reach out for her little hand. “Well it would be weird if a baby was holing itself up alone for weeks. Wouldnt make it three days, honestly.” Lor let out a small joke, softly rubbing Lia’s hand before looking up at Poppy. “You have a baby though. Best worry about her and not about me. I can take care of myself.” Their eyes flicked back to Lia and they cooed at her softly. “Hey... hello. Aren’t you adorable.” 

[lorsolano]

artsandpoppy‌:

“You would have just told me not to come,” she points out, shrugging her shoulder, having no regret for just showing up like she did. Normally Poppy would agree that she should have given a heads-up, but in this particular situation it wouldn’t have done any good anyway. “Besides - I did tell you at the ball I’d be coming by more often. So that was kind of like a warning.” Seeing the way Lor smiled down at her daughter, the brunette’s own grin grew and she moved to take a seat at the kitchen counter, setting Vidalia’s carrier down on the table next to the basket and in front of her. “She’ll be fine, don’t worry. And that’s good to hear. I’ve been alright. Worried about you, ya know…” 

“Maybe... probably.” shifting to sit at the table, Lor put their cane down before taking a bite of the muffin trying to ignore the dirty dishes in the sink. God they really should clean up soon if she planned to come by more often. “The ball was weeks ago.” There was a bit of hesitation in their voice. Like they hadn’t honestly expected her to keep her word and now that she was here, they feared she would leave if they said the wrong thing. Running a hand through their hair, Lor set the muffin down on the table. “If I cant worry about her then you can’t worry about me.” An almost sad smile coming on their features. “Shes more important to worry about anyway.” Their attention going back to the baby. 

[lorsolano]

artsandpoppy‌:

“Oh, don’t worry about that. You should have seen my place after I had Lia. It was like a tornado had come through,” Poppy answers, genuinely unbothered by any of the mess. No, that wasn’t an issue - the thing that worried her was the reason behind the mess. Why they hadn’t been keeping up with the place. And then she saw the alcohol bottles and bit her bottom lip to keep herself from frowning. That wasn’t a good sign either. Maybe she shouldn’t have waited so long to come check in on them… “Oh, she’s fine. She mostly just sleeps and really doesn’t have a care where she is to do that,” she dismisses, smiling down at her daughter in her carrier for a moment before looking back up at Lorence. “Now…. how have you been?”

“You should really call before you come. Its polite.” Was the only thing she got back in response as they finished tossing the bottles looking back to her. They didnt really want her here, not with it looking like a mess. Not after she had seen it looking well put together and clean. Looking Poppy over, Lorence sighed before letting their eyes fall down at Lia wth a small smile. “Still, she probably shouldnt be here too long.” Their eyes went back up to Poppy. Grabbing up one of the muffins, they held it in their hands. “Ive been okay. Not really being too active lately but I’m fine. How have you been?” 

[lorsolano]

artsandpoppy‌:

As they hesitated, Poppy remained silent - letting Lorence have a moment to make their decision, even though she had no plan on leaving any time soon regardless if they cooperated or not. Which thankfully, they did. Her smile widened as she took the silent invitation and stepped inside, eyes sweeping over the area but her mouth keeping silent on what she saw. “I told you I was going to be here for you from now on. Figured today was a good time to start. Plus, Lia likes a nice drive,” she answers, all of it honest despite probably not being what they want to hear. Moving further into the house, she made her way to the kitchen, remembering where it was from their time helping Lorence recover from surgery and she sets the basket of treats down on the counter. “I also come bearing gifts. Some muffins, banana bread, and a few different types of cookies!”

As she entered, they wished they hadn’t let her in at all instantly thinking about how much she was probably judging them. They knew the house was a mess, knew they had let it go in the last few months but with no one really coming by it hadnt seemed important to keep it completely clean. “Yeah.. yea. Sorry about the mess.” They mumbled moving to grab up some of the clothes to at least get them all together though their movements were stiff and slow. Kicking the last few clothes together, Lor moved for the kitchen looking over what she brought before turning their attention to the empty alcohol bottles that they moved to toss. “Thank you. You dont... you dont have to stay long.. ya know. Im sure little Lia doesnt want to hang around here for too long.” 

[lorsolano]

artsandpoppy‌:

For all that Poppy was an optimist, she wasn’t stupid - far from it actually, so when Lorence opened the door with an angry demeanor and harsh words she wasn’t surprised in the slightest. It was the exact type of welcoming she had expected. So her smile remained in tact as she lifted her hand in a little wave before picking the basket back up. “Hey Lor! Can we come in?” she asked, her tone polite but also leaving no room for them to say no. A trick she had picked up after years of pushing Branch into doing what she wanted.

Lor took a moment to look back at their living room. The mess of blankets and pillows on the couch where they had rotated from sleeping in here or in the guest room down the hall. A few piles of clothes here and there that they hadn’t found time or energy to clean up yet. “Uh...” They wanted to slam the door in her face right then but the word we caused them to pause. Rubbing their temples for a moment, Lorence nodded shuffling to the side to let her in. “And why are you visiting today, Poppy? Surely you werent just out this way.” 

[lorsolano]

artsandpoppy‌:

It had been about a month since the Sweethearts Ball, and that was as much time as Poppy was going to allow to pass by without checking up on Lorence again. A month was enough time for the argument they had to settle. And she had made a promise to herself not to let to long go by without checking up on them anymore - a promise they weren’t planning on breaking any time soon. So with Vidalia in her car-seat in one hand and a basket of homebaked treats in the other, Poppy made her way up to the front of the farmhouse. Setting the basket down on the porch, she knocked on the door and waited patiently for them to answer. @lorsolano​

Lor had barely left the farm since the ball finding ways to make means with what they had so they didn’t have to take the trek into town. The grass had grown fair too high around the farm besides the track they took each day to feed and tend to the animals. The only thing that seemed off was how well the strawberries seemed to be doing without much tending too but that was a secret Lor still hadn’t told anyone. Groaning from their position on the couch as they heard the knock, they shifted to grab up his phone and check the time. When had they fallen asleep?. “Fuck... fuck.” The growl came as they sat up wincing from pain in their back as they stood. Stumbling to grab their cane, they caught themselves on the table letting out a rough hiss before yanking up their cane propped up against the couch. Shifting over to the door, they tugged it open. “Yea.. I dont want anything fr--” They stopped realizing it was Poppy. “Hey.” 

[lorsolano]

artsandpoppy‌:

And that was the exact reaction she expected to get, but that wasn’t about to make her back down. Poppy had dealt with worse before, she wasn’t about to just accept defeat when she knew they needed her help. “It’s not pity! Believe it or not you’re my friend Lorence, and I care for you,” she argued, glaring up at them from her seat. She wasn’t about to get up yet, not until Lorence tried to walk away, because both of them standing and arguing with each other would cause a scene that she’s sure they did not want to deal with. “Because maybe it’s not hopeless! Maybe you just need to keep working at it and it can get better! At least a little. What’s it going to hurt to just keep trying? You don’t deserve to be in this much pain, Lor.”

Steadying themselves on their feet, Lor wished they had been able to stand without the pain. Why was their body deciding now would be a good time to be an asshole. “Well maybe you shouldnt.” Their voice low though it held anger. They didn’t want people taking notice and getting involved. They debated leaving but was honestly sure they were in no position to drive right now. Shaking their head, Lor put one hand back down on the table to help ease all their weight off their cane. “I worked at it for months after the accident. Do you know how embarrassing it is to have them watch me with such sadness in their eyes when I go week after week with no results for anything better? There is not getting better for it Poppy. My dad new when he left the farm to someone else.”  

[lorsolano]

artsandpoppy‌:

She did her best to contain her frown at their confession. “Lor…” she started, trailing off as she processed what she was about to say. Something that wasn’t usual for Poppy - the girl who said whatever came to her mind without any thought. But this was serious. This was a topic that she couldn’t just bubbly talk her way through without a care. “You need to go back,” she finally settled on saying, determined in her words even as she knew they were likely going to cause a disagreement. “I can come with you if you want, drive you whenever you need if it’s too hard to get there yourself. But you have to keep trying. And you need to tell your doctors about the pain. I’m sure there’s something they could do to help, even if just a little bit. You deserve better than to just suffer through it.”

“Poppy dont.” The words coming quickly as she said their name. They didnt want a lecture and this was part of the reason they had put off telling her in general. Rolling their eye as she said they needed to go back, Lor grabbed for their cane to go and stand as they did so. “I dont need to go back nor do I need the pity from you. I dont need you to drive me there because its too hard for me.” Groaning as they got into a standing position, Lor paused to catch his breath from the pain beginning in their back. Shifting from one foot to the other, Lor steadied their face looking back up at Poppy. “Why? Why do I have to keep trying? My bodies been fucked since before my dad died and nothing makes it better. Not then, not now after I stupidly did a surgery I knew wouldnt work. So tell me, Poppy, why do I have to keep trying for something that hopeless?" 

[lorsolano]

artsandpoppy‌:

For a moment Poppy does something very unlike her. She actually stops and thinks over what she’s about to say. Because this was obviously quite a delicate situation and she didn’t want to upset Lorence by saying the wrong thing - something that she was known to do quite often. “Have you still been going to physical therapy?” she finally settles on asking, feeling quite certain that she already knows the answer and that it’s not the one she wants to hear. Once they sit down, her hands automatically reach out to touch their own in a small act of physical comfort. “Okay. You don’t have to do another surgery, that’s - that’s fine - “ which it totally was, it was their life and their choice to undergo further surgeries to try to help, so she bit her tongue and held back her own opinions on the matter. For the moment at least. “Have you told the doctors that it still hurts? Maybe… maybe see if there are any home remedy type things you could do to at least alleviate the pain?” 

“I..” They knew they shouldnt lie to her and so decided right now to not do it. If there was anyone that knew a  bunch about Lor, it was Poppy and they figured they could keep it that way, “No... no I haven’t still be going. I... I tried. I went the whole time I was healing and then a few times afterwards and then I missed a few from pain and then...” The rest didnt need to be said at this point. For a moment they almost pulled their hand away but watching Poppy, they knew they were safe. She wasn’t going to hurt him. It had taken so much to even get the first surgery and they had willed themselves to believe things would be better after but now that it wasnt, they felt like a chump. Their mind convincing them all along that they had been right with feeling anxious about the surgery. “No...  no I havent told them.” Lor hadnt been back to the doctors since just before they had stopped physical therapy. “Its not that... its not a big deal. Its like it was before and Im managing.” 

[lorsolano]

tcmmylcrscn‌:

Rejection was hard enough, especially when she hadn’t even fathomed that as a possibility. But the condensation, now that was something she couldn’t handle at all. “I’m just looking for a dance partner, try to control yourself and your imagination.” She shuttered. “You know, a simple ‘no’ would’ve worked fine. I’m an adult, a woman, don’t treat me like a child. I don’t need the hand holding or the lecturing.”

Lor watched her for a moment before shaking their head slowly.  “You have also been drinking and...” No, they werent about to worry about this girl they just met. Instead they shifted to grab their cane holding out a hand to her. “You definitely do need the hand holding and the lecturing but we can come back to that later. You wanted a dance, im not the best partner but if it keeps you out of trouble.” They paused looking back down at their outstretched hand. “And you should be able to enjoy your night so if you want a dance... ill be nice.” 

[lorsolano]

rucifeee‌:

Lucifer scowled at them when they took his drink. “Who the fuck do you think you are? Just taking someone’s drink?” His eyes narrowed. “Don’t call me that,” he grumbled. “I wouldn’t consider it to be your business.”

“You know very well who I am.” Lor replied back boredly watching Lucifer for a moment before the smirk was back. “What? Its a small pet name darling. No harm meant and no harm done.” Shrugging, Lor crossed their arms over their chest. “Thats fair. Tell me how many girls havent fallen for your bullshit tonight? Two? Three?” 

[lorsolano]

rucifeee‌:

Lucifer narrowed his eyes at the other. He couldn’t tell if he had just been insulted or not. The next thing they said though Lucifer knew he was being made a fool off. “Excuse you. I didn’t come up to you out of nowhere and begin insulting you, you fucking egg head,” he said. “Um, isn’t it obvious? A great fucking time and if you’re lucky even more.”

Lor took advantage of the confusion to snatch the boys drink, giving a quick flash of a smile before they finished it off for him. Slipping it back on the table, they pursed their lips into a small frown. “Now Lucy goosey, who has been telling you they have been having great fucking times with you?” They smirked fully now, cocking their head to the side. “So Im guessing you arent very lucky.” 

[lorsolano]

tcmmylcrscn‌:

She looked good, if she did say so herself, but there was nothing worse than looking stunning on Valentine’s Day with no one to appreciate it. Sure, she was at an event, but with all these couples around, it really just made the whole ordeal even more tragic. So, Tammy did the only thing she could do, threw back another drink and tried to find someone to make her feel less like a loser for at least a little while. “You know how to dance in that outfit?” She asked an attractive enough person who seemed to be solo as well. “Or are you just here to hold up the wall and look pretty?”

Having found a source of alcohol, especially after their talk with Poppy, Lor was finishing off their third glass though they knew this was a bad idea. They probably should have just left though they were getting tired of isolation. Being alone could only give them so much piece of mind but then a blonde girl moved over and god Lor wished they were still alone. “Um.. no. No no. You are like...” They gave her a hard look before deciding. “15 so no. I am going to continue to stand here and you are going to find someone your own age to ask to dance.... and probably stop drinking so you dont get yourself into something you arent ready for.” Mental note, make sure this girl got home alright. 

[screenshotsinserie]