i'm a mess. @lost-with-alaskayoung - Tumblr Blog

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Can’t wait for the next season. Wubbalubbadubdub!!!!

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to the former love of my life

You and I never really went well together. We always fought and there were nights when I’d cry myself to sleep because I couldn’t handle the chest pains. You damaged me in a way that no one before you ever had. You made me do things that you knew I wasn’t happy about, things you knew I would never be proud of — and you called that love. You’d always say it was all because you loved me.

I hated you for all of it. I wanted to hurt you a hundredfold. There were times when I’d blame you for all of my pain. It got to a point where I’d be afraid of any emotion that could lead up to love, because you made loving seem so hard and so painful that I lost faith. You turned me into a coldhearted person, and I despised you most for it.

But now that we’ve met our separate ways and this wolf has been cured, I would give anything if it meant I could go back to those times — back to when I was a coldhearted person who looked out only for herself. You always wanted me to become tough and even pushed me to my limits just so I’d learn the art of having a steel heart, but I deemed you as toxic.

Now that we’re no longer together and I have found my way to someone else, I find myself wishing I listened to you instead. You warned me. You told me not to invest too much feelings because at the end of the day, it will be my loss. “Always guard your heart,” you said.

I wish I had listened. I wish I had looked past your supposed toxicity and saw you as someone you had always been all throughout our relationship — someone who just wanted what was best for me.

I wish I could go back in time. I might have been coldhearted then, but at least I wasn’t crippled and damaged.

Thank you for trying to warn me though. Thank you for still looking out for me. And I know that even until now, amidst all the chaos, you still watch over me from afar. Thank you for everything.

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A sucker for cozy afternoons

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TAGS 101: UNWIND IN TAGAYTAY

Close watch: my brother Ryan watches Sasha play chess for the first time. Photo by yours truly

Ryan gets teamed up in chess by our cousins, the Carvajal sisters. Photos by yours truly

Good food, good music and great view? They have it all at Leslie’s!

My cousin Shulamite poses by the entrance. Photo by yours truly

Just like ate: Sasha poses for some photos too, just like her big sister Shulamite. Photos by yours truly

My cousin Sean shows off his new best bud, Pikachu. Photo by yours truly

Three generations: my mom gets sandwiched by her mother and maternal grandmother. Photo by yours truly

Awkward: my sister flashes her awkward smile alongside Shulamite, who flashes her awkward peace sign. Photo by yours truly

Ate’s goofballs. Photos by yours truly

Mother and son. Photo by yours truly

Lovely.

Horseback riding! Photo by yours truly

Ryan and Sasha pose for a picture as they wait patiently for their horses. Photo by yours truly

All smiles. Photos by yours truly

My turn to have a go, together with my cousin Beah. Photos by my grandmother, Sally Florencio

Sasha and Ryan get hyped up as they both get another go on the horses. Photos my my grandma

Always better the second time: Ryan, Sean and Sasha all enjoy their second turn. Photos by my grandma

Bright smile: Sasha smiles for the camera after enjoying her horseback riding experience. Photo by yours truly

Ready, set go: the boys have a blast at the kids’ zipline. Photos by yours truly

My mother and Sasha walk hand-in-hand as they approach the boys after their zipline ride. Photo by yours truly

lost-with-alaskayoung

tagaytay, philippines (december 2016) in photos. check it out!