this used to be hosted on cohost, and i would love for it to remain so, but unfortunately it's shutting down so i'm moving everything here.
i've posted a LOT onto this blog since it began so i will have a lot to post here. old posts will have the date in the title.
there will be lots of rambling here but it will often be rambling with the assumption that anyone reading already has basic knowledge of at least the character's names. if you ever read something and are actually interested in wtf i'm going on about please feel free to send an ask and i will clarify. otherwise this is really just my space to yell into the void and write down anything that i just don't wanna ramble about on main lol
art tag is doodles
basic introduction to the characters
i think about my lobotomy corporation characters a lot so here are the main guys while they worked at lobotomy corporation. eva (he/him) captain of control, julian (he/him) captain of information, leesihan (she/her) captain of extraction , griffin (she/her) captain of training, narae (he/him) captain of welfare (later disciplinary lol), and louis (he/him) the right hand man (pretty much Vice Captain) of information
eventually the corporation collapses and the only ones to make it out alive are eva, julian, griffin and leesihan, but they are all separated in pairs and don't regroup until much later down the line. narae and louis are used in the later library and eventually are also spat out into the world [idk i didn't finish ruina but i want my employees 2 be free]
i also talk a lot about eva and julian's distortions and d&d versions of them or other d&d characters including my character-based-character adánor caldeth, a dark elf bard based visually off adam from lobotomy corporation. i really like AUs i have a ton of them because i love putting my guys in situations. linked are toyhouse folders with more info about them lol
ok that's it i'm too lazy to type anything else. this blog is mostly just for me to yell into the void anyways. baiii
ive been obsessed with the truman show recently so I've been working on a mini comic of one of the scenes as juleva for self indulgent funsies. a truman show au where everyone else is in on the time loops except julie and the manager is the director. awful horrible no good very bad day
posting the wip because i was playing around with panelling and thought the second one was neat :)
trying to write down my little connection with him and lady facing the wall's encyclopedia entry because i found her written down as an abno i associated with him and went "wait what"
my thought process is just like. these notes in the perspective of someone looking at him as a distortion rather than a person. and also how confusing his morals are as a manager and a distortion obsessed with protecting others while also hurting them at the same time and like. killing them in the process
Over time, her unbearable sorrow grew into a mournful obsession, covered in countless, lengthy hairs.
While she occasionally talks to herself and weeps quietly, it is impossible to have a meaningful conversation with her. Despite her human appearance, it is impossible to discern what she is really looking at or her true intentions.
nobody understands his distorted ass
also what ARE his intentions? why is he so devoted to these boughs (he is going to STEAL them 2 undistort himself)
but also not even he knows he has like. all these thoughts on "this is for the greater good" "im designed to save others im doing this to save others" and the conflict between that and Killing Them In order To Save Them. also he's a weeper (gloom affinity)
She will attempt to talk to or pique the interest of those who are about to leave her Containment Unit. However, one should never look back in response, as it may cause mental damage.
shehgshgdahs his disotrtion powers....he has the wing on his eye that he keeps covered because if someone watches it flutter he has the power to A: cast a spell on them (dnd lol)(this is how he casts Command which enables him to just. get them to do what he wants) B: relive their entire life from birth to inevitable death or C: revive them (by doing B). hes used this before to just get rid of someone and make them forget about the company
She’ll even plead or whisper maliciously when someone is about to leave in the hopes that they may instinctively look back. The subconscious is a threat to your own health in her presence; it is important to have your guard up and to be aware of what is occurring when you are in the room with her.
he has literally done this to one of his bus staff hes holding him hostage and not letting him go off the bus because he knows the past branch he was in and he doesnt want to risk either him snitching on him or the others recognizing him and finding them out. the bus staff guy (his name is spoon) escaped the bus and finally had a chance to run away but julian found him and twisted his arm into coming back to the bus because "we're a team" and "we cant do any of this alone" and "i promise i will make it up to you im so sorry"
jesus i just opened this after class and i dont have thoughts anymore but yea thats the post i guess. send tweet
hi. more manager egos. the first two were burrowing heaven and ugly duckling .but HERE. i have. one. that i drew because big armor men hot symbolism yes yes of course
it's traditional so sorry about the shitty lighting and shadows
this one had a little bit more thought. here is the discord message i typed to go with it:
"he's a warm hearted woodsman. he's kind . he is sure he is so kind and nice if he had a heart in him. he lost whatever was inside him with distorting and fills the hole with his sinners' hearts and good deeds instead to keep him and the image he held of himself before everything rotted away breathing and alive. when his sinners do well and laughs and are happy he can pretend he's done a great job and claim them as his own doing. he died like 20 years ago"
i liked the imagery of him allegedly fighting for the sinners and for his forest city's own good, trying to improve the world around him but still having to consume the hearts of his sinners to keep himself running on good rather than his own desire fumes ksdhsdkj. obviously im very normal over juliebug and will continue to be.
ummm so to leave off i have this. and uh. i'm a little bad at explaining the thoughts i have and how they connect to julian but i will try: (image ahead)
(image end)
this kind of made me go insane because of the whole "going on this big journey to, sure, maybe help these sinners get some redemption and closure or whatever, but mostly to get my hands on the bottom of this bough thing and maybe get my distortion cured!" but ummmmmm you cant really get. undistorted by asking the lady who distorted u really nicely. shes gonna go ummmm no actually youre a big bug and youre cooler that way. light and redemption is for humans silly. so hes like oh okay. so this was for nothing huh. im going to be bad and ugly and evil and irredeemable forever huh. my soul has forever rotten from the inside huh. otay. well my sinners are all so good and perfect and its all because of ME. thats MY effort and MY sinners and MY soul is inside them i took pieces of THEIR soul an put it in MY ME why am I NOT GOOD. anyways umcmmmmmmmmmmmm . well. he um.
im sorry i read the lines again and started kicking and giggling im too insane over him to put these into words but YOU GET IT. you gewt it. the hearts are his sinners. he is a "machine" (distortion) and this obviously means "you are stuck this way forever until someone cares enough to understand", and "you're a static reflection of everything rotten (your desires) inside you forever because nobody else will ever understand enough to fix you". im normals
when he's around his sinners and when they find their closure and grow and improve as people he feels like he can laugh and smile because this must be a reflection of him as well, they all share pieces of their souls so hopefully that means he is being made good and pure through them, but um the truth is. he isnt quite there in fact he has greatly steered from it skhjdajdkj
also side tangent kind of but i had the thought of the inevitable manager fight being kind of like a realization where his distorted light kind of merges with the abnormality ego they had on board and i just. idk i just think itd be really fun to have them fight woodsman and burrowing heaven julie at the end. id get to design some fucked up battle mechanics that fit perfectly with their future character builds and lets them utilize all their ego and weapons and abilities against him...... and design fun terrain and status gimmicks,..... and have him become a big fucking creature at the same time so itd be fun. theyd all technically be corroded because he is a distortion and i think itd probably fuel that corroding somehow
i love you julipede you've done nothing wrong (he is ruining his friends' and husband's life)
tl;dr - HOT BUG KNIGHT EATS GOOD AND PURE ORGANS TO BECOME GOOD AND PURE dies anyways
hold up....im a genius )running to grab my drawings)
Ok so context
A few months ago I started playing with the concept of juliemanager ego mostly just for funsies and i thought warm hearted woodsman julie looked badass. since he's distorted its almost like a weird fusion of sorts that always comes out corroded in some way
ended up going "haha hmmm wait this could be a fun way to spice up the fight they'll eventually have against him, it can be like an angela realization"
a current recurring character in this campaign is burrowing heaven who in the last dungeon just haunted them everywhere trying to lure them to their first bough. they tried to kill it HAKJSDJADKH but luckily were able to pull themselves away from it to face their true boss monster
juliemanager and the horror of his revival powers - 5/19/24
lcbrpg spoilers
hi! i'm gonna start titling my insane essays to try and make it easier for me to find them. anyways. here i am going to paste some discord messages i sent a long while ago after thinking really hard about julian's power to revive his sinners when they die
so for background info, he has the distortion power of um. ensnaring you, forcing you to look at his facial wing and fluttering it, trapping you in a snug little pocket dimension/consciousness where you relive your entire life from beginning to end up until you die in his arms. b/c he thinks he's saving you from a crueller fate that you will inevitably meet (aka the fates he became used to seeing everyone succumb to around him in lobotomy corp) by basically just... keeping you alive only in his memory and in this little temporary pocket of consciousness with him, when in reality he's just killing you faster.
basically he thinks he's saving you from suffering a terrible fate by ensuring you die peacefully in his arms
anyways limbus kind of took that power and modded him a little. how? i dunno! i'll have to come up with that eventually but i think it'd be funny if they just had that ability (also bc HOW CAN DANTE DO IT it's probably special for them only but i. hm. hand to chin. what if it's a company special. a singularity perhaps)
so now, after being modded, he can use this power now to revive the sinners by making them relive their entire life in his arms, but now julian has free reign to warp this little pocket consciousness and basically rewrite their death out of it. but in order to do that. he needs to be with you
in this pocket dimension
reliving your life beside you without you being aware of it. because you died
and for some reason that's like sex 2 to me. but also like deeply unsettling and nightmarish literally more intimate than sex.
relive your entire life with this person holding you gently in his arms and you don't know. you never know up until you reach like 20years in your lifespan, get offered a job at limbus comapny, and you meet him again. and you're like huh. maybe a sense of deja vu.
he has literally crafted this dimension for you around keeping you alive. idk. it's my madoka madness. it's somethinf
like. you're not gonna remember you fucking died at this point until you get back into the present and everyone's like WELCOME BACK!!!! and the memory hits you like a truck. but like. ITS YOUR ENTIRE LIFE THAT YOU LIVED OUT . WITH HIM . THIS RANDOM DUDE YOU MET IN A BUS JUST A FEW DAYS AGO . FOR ALL YOU KNOW HE COULDVE BEEN THERE BEFORE YOU WERE EVEN CONSCIOUS TO UNDERSTAND for all you know he's literally been ingrained in the fabric of your reality your entire life. because he crafted it specially for you. at this point who is to convince you he didn't just straight up will you into existence himself. like your life was your life up until you died and now it's julian's he made it for you. what's wrong with this thing i want it dead
ok normal again. i don't think anyone should die under his management. i think it's a horrible way to be brought back. dante's is arguably better?
also technically they won't feel or remember reliving their life because it literally just brings them back to where they just were, but something's different. your entire life has changed in a few seconds and you've lived an eternity with him in a blink. whatever
manager julie is intentionally a little fucked up and morally teetering (but it's ok because he says he's friendly and cool and still the most considerate guy he knows) he's my precious little eldritch beast. who was not supposed to become fully sentient
hi i don't think i posted the other manager egos anywhere so im going to make a litttle few posts about them when i have time n remember about them
warning for possible body horror!
this is the original post (burrowing heaven ego)
for this one i actually was trying to make an abnormality for the next dungeon first and ended up making...another dog..............lsakjnlna ill probably touch it up later because idk if i like how basic it is but this is the premise i guess. its name is probably something relating to the ugly duckling even though its a swan and shit because GRRRR drawing swans is more fun bc of big neck.....
either the ducklings eat it or it eats the ducklings to keep itself alive, the "myth"-y abnormality lore is basically the wolf kills the momma swan / duck/whatever BIRD but ends up having to fill in because of how many fucking kids she left behind and uh. having to play the role of a swan without letting others know he's actually . the reason the swan is gone. and ummmmmmmmmmmm ugly duckling story. it is an ugly ass duckling because it is actually a dog. i hope this helps. it's being tied down by the family of ducklings and having to drag them behind it because the ducklings are the only reason it's still playing this role anyways. corny abnormality story complete. the ducklings r supposed to be like. not completely innocent in this abno story. but i only know babby stories so like. whatever fill in the gaps with imagination
i think like 90% of the reason i drew a juliemanager ego for this is because of the imagery of a beast disguising itself and also dragging along its little ducklings lmfao. but i think it coudl fit if you stretch it. (i literally made the creature).
jules kind of wormed his way into this position thinking that it's the perfect way to bring himself some salvation and undistort his sorryass self but ended up actually just dragging 5 innocent people into it for no reason and becoming more distorted in the process. fighting for his life trying not to just straight up murder them daily because hes a good boy, limbus distortion department said he was a good suppressed boy who could do no harm anymore, and he will never hurt thousands ever again /j
Putting Will's ref here because one of my friends on Tumblr is a regular party member now lol...and the party doesn't know anything about him yet! This is the bus driver of my party's Limbus bus in my limbus company d&d campaign! :D
I don't know exactly how the smoke war played out or if G Corp even had time or resources to care enough about taking captives or whatever, but just for character development reasons I like to think Will used to be a Nestie who was talented in combat and is very agile, maybe even a fixer? He didn't really have any regards for life or death including his own because everyone's death in the city is random, so it doesn't matter if you cause it to happen sooner than later....it was bound 2 happen in the first place anyways. He fought against G Corp but found himself in a bad spot and somehow got himself captured, he was pretty useful though so they just refurnished him into a spy for their side. kind of like a stealthy "fly on the wall"!
So far his story is mostly about that huge sudden perspective change, and putting himself in the shoes of those people he had no thought or regards for and realizing he's got more in common with them than he thought at first. I'm still trying to figure out his themes and his conflict and hangups and stuff, but as of right now he's just become very quiet and apathetic rather than boastful and indulgent.
edit: I brainrotted hard about him in the months to follow this post and I'm toying with the idea of him having being part of the Udjat, then shoved into G Corp as a messenger / spy, and then finally once the shit blew up and he was ""free"" he struggled for a good while until he finally found work again under the Rake Office (an undercover journalism organization hidden as a Fixer organization, that writes about the true Horrors of the city) as a photographer. so him and julian (the manager) were working together at some point before being brought into limbus
juliemanager in lcbrpg gets notably less reliable as he goes on because while he joined the company with a relatively noble purpose (find the truth! stop this from happening again! rip into this facility again and face it for what it is!) after he distorts he is 100% convinced that he's fully in control and normal again after being suppressed / havinf the shit beat out of him and put in distortion super jail for a minute . his motives change more to "god please get me undistorted let this redeem me for almost wiping my team with my emotional meltdown" and he's entirely convinced he is impossible to undistort via normal means because nobody will ever know or fully understand what he thinks is the root of his distortion (time loop hell). he is 100% convinced that everything he's doing is rational and good and pure and refuses to see anything else because if he is even 1% bad it means his distortion is worse than he thinks and he should be put down. he thinks everything he's doing is for the best! and it's harmless! yes if you work for me i do have to fudge a little about exactly what will happen to you but it's ok it's harmless and painless and you'll only give a little of your soul to me but it's for the best actually because we are doing good for the world!
his distortion does actually kind of get a little worse as he goes on because he's both punishing himself for it and ignoring any signs of actually needing human care and connection even if they don't understand. he becomes selfish and blinded by his own savior complex and he's just totally given up on being saved because "well nobody gets it, i guess ill just homebrew this salvation myself".
he kind of thinks he doesn't really have an associated sin but eventually all his sinners will face their own and overcome them and develop and grow as people, but he will stay the same, because as a physical manifestation of his trauma he is like a static reflection that Doesn't Change. everyone around him will get better and he's like okay when is it my turn. and in turn he'll just. absorb the sins they leave behind until he can finally drop his mask and be genuinely undistorted, for reals this time
to be fair to him tho I also have no clue how one would undistort him...... girl please just go to therapy.........he's also like a little divorced. he's hiding from his husband and just making him believe he's still in distortion holding. definitely yeah not given a position in management for being a good boy at all. trying not to cross his path WHATSOEVER until he's 'cured'. "are you single?" "ITS COMPLICATED OKAY" (entirely his fault)
i love this Trainwreck of a person he really is just going through world's worst midlife crisis. he's already in like his mid 40s. funny middle aged yaoi
tldr; physical manifestation of aimless grief and hurt driven by unfiltered desire is offended if you imply he is being driven by unfiltered desire or perhaps being consumed by aimless grief and hurt
julian post lobcorp and especially in the limbus ttrpg before limbus needs to stir more shit up. i need him to be the head's least favorite little shit for all the digging he's doing into their old defunct l wing. he was getting frustrated and stuck in his personal investigations on what actually happened down there and where everyone went afterwards and what l corp was actually doing because no matter how hard he looked he'd never find anything of substance unless he actually went down there in person again and started unearthing everyrhing he could with his bare hands. he really didn't want to at first and the mere thought was enough to send him into a full physical reaction for a while but eventually his journalist's lust for the truth drove him to go FUCK this im already kind of in danger from writing for this secret publication that's already been cracked down on many times before i might as well go all in. and he goes forth and joins limbus with the explicit purposes of learning as much as he can about l corp, finding out what the hell they did to him re: time loops and resurrection, and getting the actual names and faces of everyone the corp left behind
i don't think he'd be exactly liked after becoming a manager of his own branch after distorting ("a distortion?!?! doing important rational thinking?!?! this cannot persist. end this man immediately he will kill them all") and getting his nose up all in l corps business and even questioning if the energy was ever the actual singularity at all but he just won't die and they want to squish him under their shoes like a bug sooo bad
julian was not meant to survive but was brought back forcibly by a manager playing god who chose favorites. eva was not meant to survive but was brought back forcibly by a suffering fool going through lifetimes just yo ensure he lived in every single one. even if this was proof that he was meant to die and never come back. without julian he would have been forgotten and left behind as just another statistic no matter how hard he worked to get here or how arduous his life was before this point. Ugh my tummy hurt
while this sounds romantic its not good for eva because he wasnt meant to live this long and it shows through the monumental struggle it is for him to thrive outside of l corp and the subsequent distortion and lingering insanity after it but i guess anything is better than death right?
julian was not meant to survive but was brought back forcibly by a manager playing god who chose favorites. eva was not meant to survive but was brought back forcibly by a suffering fool going through lifetimes just yo ensure he lived in every single one. even if this was proof that he was meant to die and never come back. without julian he would have been forgotten and left behind as just another statistic no matter how hard he worked to get here or how arduous his life was before this point. Ugh my tummy hurt
now THIS is the miniscule bullshit i made this blog for
oc nightly routine compilation
julian: only showers at night if he's significantly stinky or dirty. otherwise he showers in the mornings. brushes his teeth and gets into bed wet hair or not. usually eats like 30 minutes to an hour before bed because yummm big bowl o cereal. if it's a "spend all night cooped up in your office because of the Horrors" night then he just gets home and passes out in bed without doing anything
eva: takes a bath. if short on time or tired then he showers. applies body lotion and combs tangles out of his hair. makes a hot drink brushes his teeth and reads in bed. does all of this at like 8 or 9 pm without fail. if he doesn't, then he has failed and will make up for it somehow in the morning or the next night
leesihan: showers in the morning but sometimes takes a bath at night on self care nights. brushes teeth. if she washes her hair she hairdries it, detangles it and ties it up into a bun before going to bed. applies calming lavender lotion and often brews tea before bed (eva is most often at her dorm to mooch off of it). plays calming music or ambiance in her room and plays games on her phone until she passes out
griffin: showers at night and sometimes treats her hair, otherwise just lets it air dry and plays viddy games or fucks around on her phone or with her friends until her hair's dry and then some. sometimes eats pretty late. scrolls on phone until passes out at random hour
narae: showers in the morning. at night he brushes his teeth and watches a movie or texts people until he passes out. does not have a fancy routine he just kind of rawdogs life
marie: showers at random times in the day and if it's at night it's usually a bath where she can play music and pass out while laying in marie soup. does this at buttfuck am (12-4 am) or not at all. usually just passes out at her desk.
