this post includes dialogue spoilers for DEADPOOL 2. youâve been warned.
      feel free to change pronouns / wording !
â what a dick ! â
â i took a catnap on twelve hundred gallons of high test fuel. â
â iâm gonna touch them all over. â
â i donât speak cantonese. â
â i donât bargain, pumpkin fucker. â
â do not go in there ! â
â oh god ! time out, time out ! â
â too exotic ? â
â i got blood right in my open eye ! â
â iâm so glad i left the kiddos at home. â
â that babysitter of yours is high as fuck right now. â
â every good family film starts with a vicious murder, bambi, the lion king, saw seven. â
â listen, confidence isnât something you have itâs something you create. â
â start the fucking car ! â
â i shit my pants. â
â i want to belong to something. â
â i want to become a contract killer. â
â i canât wait to never speak of this. â
â oh, well thatâs - thatâs just the most beautiful thing iâve ever - i donât know what this is. â
â can you hear me ? â
â kids, they give a chance to be better than we are, better than we used to be. â
â you are a lot smarter than i look. â
â thank god i didnât have tâ use the cream cheese speader. â
â go home, youâve been here for three days. â
â you know what FINE stands for ? fucked up, insecure, needy and emotional. â
â donât you know how tâ knock ? â
â i thought you saw me with your ears. â
â canât really live âtil weâve died a little. âÂ
â what in the fuck knuckles is this ? â
â shouldâve brought my rape whistle. â
â first off, iâm not even a virgin. â
â you always make it hard. â
â like beyoncĂŠ says, please, please stop cheating on me. â
â come quietly, or there will be trouble. â
â put your hands behind your knees and get down on your head, now ! â
â rules are meant to be broken. âÂ
â those guys hurt you ? â
â i fight for whatâs right. â
â youâre so dark ! are you sure youâre not from the dc universe ? â
â we need a secret code. â
â am i gettinâ catfished here or ? â
â isnât that a little derivative ? â
â youâve been chosen by a higher power. â
â never underestimate a man with a moustache. â
â heâs going in through the back ! oh god, heâs inside ! â
â iâd ask who you are but youâll be dead in a second. â
â ooh. somebody knows ⌠karate. â
â something is so terribly, terribly wrong. â
â i shouldâve worn my white pants. âÂ
â iâm gonna rip you in half now. â
â youâre not the revenge type. â
â whaâdâ you want me tâ say, huh ? â
â whatâs ________ got that i donât have ? â
â all i told him was everything he wanted to know. â
â is this apartment listed on tinder ? grindr ? â
â well, thatâs just lazy writing. âÂ
â you remind me of my wife. â
â so whatâs it gonna be, handsome ? â
â and that, is why you never eat a raw starfish. itâs just common sense. â
â i will bathe in the blood of your enemies. â
â boom ! spoiler alert. â
â iâm a grower, not a shower. â
â you should never meet your heroes because honestly, heâs a bit of a dick. â
â i donât deserve your friendship, or your help. â
â damn it feels good tâ be a gangster ! â
â itâs not a great analogy. â
â i told you i care about you. â
â i donât wanna die without an audience. â
â is there a knife in my dick ? â
â what the fuck is dubstep ? â
















