| Birch | 23 | she/her | all are welcome, even those who get lost in the wildflowers | fanfic author, x reader enjoyer, and currently hyperfixated on Ryan Gosling | header by the incredible @artsy-moonwalker |
Welcome to The Meadow, I'm the one who watches over these forests and fields. You can call me Birch.
❀ The Meadow's Masterlist - where all of my fics, headcanons, drabbles, and events can be found.
❀ The Riverbank - where you can see what I'm planning, working on, and what has been requested.
❀ The Branches - my inbox that is always open. I'm always willing to discuss fics, characters, life, thoughts, and troubles.
❀ The Grand Oak - the rules of The Meadow. Please respect me, those who interact with me, and my limits on who and what I will and will not write for, thank you.
❀ The Den - the place you can go to learn a little more about me.
My Most Recent Works
❁ NSFW Alphabet - Court Gentry x Reader
❁ San Francisco - Sierra Six / Court Gentry x Reader
❁ NSFW Alphabet - Ryland Grace x Reader
❁ Once Brothers, Always Brothers - Court Gentry, Colt Seavers, and Ryland Grace
❁ Believe in the Hail Mary - Ryland Grace x Reader
Omg you do art too?! Absolutely amazing chef’s kiss mwah mwah. Reminds me of that one shot of the back of Ryland’s head. It makes me so emotional idk why 😭
I sometimes do art! I, uhm, eheheheh, I don't do art often because I don't think it's very good but🤷♀️ I tried a new brush and liked that sketch of Ryland so I shared it <3
And lowkey I've been wanting to draw that one... and I lowkey want to draw it for the challenge the RG discord is doing... So... food to ponder me thinks...
Would book ryland be very different from movie ryland in your opinion? If so do you think you can make book rylands own NSFW alphabet?
Sorry it's taken me forever to get to this😭 Life things IRL.
But I think they would be the same for a lot of it, to be honest! The way I write Ryland is somewhere between the two, as I think both equally represent the character and deserve the same amount of love :)
There might be minute differences, but not enough to make any notable changes. Thank you for the ask <3
Summary: The NSFW Alphabet for everyone's favorite assassin.
Word Count: 2.7K
Warnings: NSFW, SMUT (18+ ONLY PLEASE), nothing hardcore
A/N: Please only interact if you are 18+! Blank/empty blogs and blogs with no ages will be blocked! Anon who asked me about this, this one is for you! - Birch<3
Please proceed with caution!!! NSFW BELOW THE CUT!!!
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Court is very quiet in his aftercare. Not that he tries to be quiet, but he gets contemplative. At least initially. Once you're both coming down for your highs or he's watching the bliss on your face, he likes holding you. For a long time. Arms wrapped around you, tucking you under his chin. Eventually, he will either fall asleep once he knows you're already passed out, or he'll slip to the bathroom to grab a towel to get you cleaned up.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Court is an ass man. Also a thighs man. But he's an ass man. He loves slipping his hands down to his lover's ass - big, small, flat, round - he doesn't care. He loves squeezing it. Holding you close. Especially because he can drop his hands from there to rub at your thighs - which he loves having wrapped around his head. For himself? Well, he doesn't think there's a whole lot about him that's that great. But he does like the way you trail your hands over his chest. He's worked hard to get and maintain a physique like he has, so he'd probably say something like that.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Court is very aware of when he's about to cum. It's more so a matter of if he cares he doesn't have a condom on or not. If he knows you're on the pill or use another type of contraceptive, oh that man is cumming inside you all day and all night. Dare I say... breeding kink, Court? But at the same time, he likes pulling out and cumming on your back when fucking you in doggy style, and he likes cumming on your belly in missionary. Seeing you painted in his seed gives him that extra gratification that you're his. He also cums a lot. It's everywhere. Hot.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Court, when he's working for the CIA, is the type that's jerked himself off thinking about you when he's away. He knows he shouldn't. You're just a partner or intel operative or even just a normal citizen with no connection to his line of work. That doesn't stop him from thinking about your pretty lips or the curves of your body. He wraps his hand around his cock and he groans your name, wishing it was your hand around his length and not his.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
He's got some experience. Some hookups here and there, sleeping with informants to get the information he needs. Book lovers, you know about Laura and Zoya. He knows what he's doing. If anything, he's an expert at reading body language, and he can and will communicate with his partner.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Mating press. A deep, raw missionary where he's got your legs hooked up over his shoulders and he's bending you in half. He likes it when you're under him. It's an evolved missionary - it's special with you. He loves the way you're pinned under him, the way your hair settles on the pillow under your head. It's intimate and he can touch every part of you he wants to. But, if you both want it hard and rough? Well, he can deliver in this position. He's broken a headboard or two by reaching up and holding onto it too tightly... but he has to admit he loves the look on your face when you realize the bed is falling apart because of him. It's simultaneously adorable and turns him on.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Court takes sex very seriously - but that doesn't mean he won't allow himself to have fun. A lot of the time with you - he wants to show you just how much he loves you and cares for you. That he doesn't take lightly. He's a man, though. And he gets pent up and frustrated. That's when he's really serious and just needs to blow off steam. He'll never EVER hurt you. But he will be rough. Court's also the type that once he settles down and hangs up the title of The Gray Man, he'll loosen up. He can chuckle and fuck you against the wall while you're wearing a pretty apron and making him breakfast on a Sunday morning. He can smile and huff as you try to ride him on the couch before bed but you're running out of steam. It's still not something he takes lightly, but he allows himself to enjoy the imperfections.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Dare I say... Court is a little on the less groomed side. He'll clean up when he's got time, but man's an assassin and on the run. He ain't got time to stay super well groomed. If he knows he's got a date night with you or he's planning on taking you to bed, well, he'll clean himself up a little. Carpet indeed matches the drapes. Dark, dark blonde, nearly brown pubic hair.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Court might not be a lover boy or hopeless romantic, but he knows how to love you. He takes sex seriously, and if he's got something planned for you, it is planned - just like a mission. He'll light candles and get music playing. Probably no rose petals or any crazy fancy suits, but he'll put something on that he knows you like on him. When it's not a special day and he's finding himself bare with you, his intimacy is all in the praise he gives and the way he holds eye contact. His hands and mouth worship your body, and his actions speak louder than most words.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Court... doesn't jack off a lot. Those very rare instances when you're still pining for one another, maybe once or twice. The first time, it's a guilty pleasure. The second just confirms he needs to tell you how he feels. How embarrassing is it to be fucking his hand like a horny teenager groaning your name one day and then look you in the eyes the following day, pretending like he wasn't thinking about you wrapped around his cock? Once the two of you get together? He's got no need for it. He'll hunt you down or will it away. He's got impeccable self-restraint.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Well let's see... Definitely praise kink - both to give and receive. Size kink too. He loves the way you slot underneath him and the way he can toss you over his shoulder. Doesn't mind period sex one bit. If it helps you? He's all about it. Court could definitely be the type to tie his partner up if they're really sure about it - but I don't see him liking it to an extreme. Reminds him too much of his line of work. Court's definitely into a breeding kink in some way shape or form. He might be nervous about having kids, but thinking about burying himself deep inside your cunt? Watching as your breasts swell with milk and your belly grow with his child? It's a fantasy for him. A life he's never gotten to have or dream of having. It was just never possible until now.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Hehe... the bed, of course, but... The wall. In the hallway, in the shower. Doesn't matter. He loves taking you against the wall. Also bent over the kitchen counter. Maybe it's first thing in the morning, or it's the last thing before bed. Man loves burying his head between your thighs and making you cry his name out before getting something to actually eat. He'll leave you trembling on the counter to grab you a glass of water, smirking proudly to himself as you come back to Earth.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Court's simple. But that doesn't mean he's easy. If you put something skimpy on? Yeah, he's feeling heat in his belly. He can push it down with the curious raise of a brow. Now if you put some lingerie on? Well, you put effort in. He's not going to deny you. What gets him is you just being you. The hair in a messy bun, glasses on, his shirt falling off your shoulder kind of being you. If he's coming home from a mission and is frustrated or amped up about it? It doesn't take much. Sometimes just the feeling of your hair slipping through his hair can get him. It depends.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Court will not go past your limits. Ever. The last thing he wants to do is scare you. There is no negotiating that. He's spent his life killing and hurting others. He would never forgive himself if he went too far. He can get rough - he'll spank you and he'll wrap his hand around your throat to kiss you or hold you down - but he's very clear about making sure it doesn't hurt or that he's not scaring you.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Court is a giver and a thigh man. You can guarantee he's buried between your thighs nearly every day if you'd let him. He loves the way your hips try to roll and buck. He'll just pin them down with a thick arm over your waist. Eats pussy like a starved man. Loves to edge you - bringing you right to the brink before slowing down. Just so he can spend more time with your taste on his tongue. But because he's a man... he loves fucking your face, too. Blinking up at him from your knees with those pretty eyes? Oh he'll come undone so quick.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Court prefers to take his time, but there are some days it just doesn't happen. When he's got the time, he's taking it at a snail's pace. He wants you itching and begging for him. He wants you so turned on you're near dripping because he hasn't touched you where you want him to most. He'll give you everything you want. But on his terms. He at least tries to give your cunt time to stretch around his cock. He'll give it to you slow for a minute to make sure you're alright, and then he'll snap his hips up and fuck you into the mattress. Court typically falls right down the middle - slow and sensual but as the pleasure builds, so does his speed and the roughness of his thrusts.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Court enjoys a quickie. He'd rather take his time and make you fall apart on his terms, but he's not opposed to a quickie when time is limited. Especially if he's coming home from a rough mission? He's not lasting long, but that's okay. He's got good stamina and can go several rounds.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Court will try something as long as he deems it safe. He takes enough risks in his work and he himself is a walking risk. With you? You're the one place he finds safety and security. He has to place a lot of trust in you, so I think he would be very cautious. Simple stuff? Absolutely. You want him to fuck you in front of a mirror? Oh he's game. You want him to use a vibrator on your clit? Sure, he'll give it a go once.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Court's got stamina for days. If he's pent up or frustrated from a mission, he won't last long. But he's got a short recovery time so he's back at it fast. When he's taking care of you the way he would like to, he can last for a long time and go several rounds. He's a very thorough lover and he wants to make sure you're quaking before he lets himself cum.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Court's not big into it, but he will give it a fair shake. He prefers using his body to bring you pleasure. He's only ever used it to bring pain and death. With you, he finds a new purpose. And that's hindered with toys. So it would take a lot of convincing. He could be the type to use a remote vibrator on his lover, but he would have to feel very secure at that point in the relationship.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Oh he loves to tease. Court loves getting your worked up, aching for him. He'll pat your ass while walking past. He'll press a kiss to your neck and then disappear. When he's pulling your clothes off, he'll ask, "You sure you want me to take this off for you?" while smirking because he knows you'll desperately whine. A good, "Tell me what you want. Use your words." Loves to edge you and bring you right to the brink before pulling back. He's never condescending, and he always makes sure you're more than okay with everything he's doing.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Growling Gentry. He growls and groans. His voice gets low and rich, and he'll spew praise for you. He's not the loudest, but he learns quickly that the more you can hear of him, the more turned on you get. And he wants to bring you the most pleasure he can.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Really loves mirror sex. At least, he likes pleasuring you in front of the mirror. He can see and feel you when he holds you in front of him, your ass to his chest. He can snake his hand down between your legs and watch the look on your face as you feel him touch your core and lean back against his aching cock. He likes to give praise here, forcing that eye contact and forcing you to love yourself the way he does.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
He's thick and long. This man is HUNG. Curves off to the right and up. Whole thing turns a pretty shade of pink, with the tip more red. He's got a thick vein on the underside of his cock. He's not the type to leak precum a whole lot unless it's been a while.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Court can go a long ass time without getting some. Does he want to go that long without? No. Can he? Yes. Once he's in a stable relationship, he's the type to want it once a week, if not more. He doesn't want you to think that's all you're good for - but he does find a lot of intimacy wrapped up in the sheets with you. He's certainly down for more if your drive is higher than his - but if he's busy or you're extra needy? Be warned. He's gonna make you work for it. Big time. But he'll give you a big release if you're good...
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Court takes a long time to fall asleep initially. He waits for you to fall asleep first every single time. He has to make sure there's nothing but bliss on your mind as you drift off. It takes him a while to allow himself to settle and enjoy. But the further he gets into the relationship, the faster he lets himself drift off. He definitely enjoys snuggling, but he wants to make sure you're cleaned up and feeling okay before he falls asleep. Even better if he's buried balls deep inside you when you fall asleep. No better way to do it in his opinion.
Hey! I just got done reading your infected story with book!ryland and it's absolutely amazing, you capture book!ryland so well I hope you write for him in the future! Like damn the fic was sooooooo good. You should be very proud of yourself :)
AWEH THANK YOU SO MUCH 🥺🥺🥺
Book Ryland my beloved <3 But I love them both <3
I appreciate the kind words so so so much :( <3 many a fics in the drafts that hopefully I can bring to life <3
do you have any Ryland x reader fic writer recs? I need more
I AM SO SORRY THIS HAS TAKEN ME FOREVER TO GET TO <3
I honest to God haven't read hardly anything. I'm one of those people where I'm in a writing spree, I won't read others. And when I'm in a reading spree, I won't write.
BUT. I have some really amazing friends and these are fics that they've worked really hard on that I've read and loved so definitely check them out <3
- - -
Wonderwall - by my dear @bluebellhairpin
Project Grace Find Mate - by my darling @aeterna-auroral-avenger
Masterlist - and then anything from my lovely @eridianhearts
IM LITERALLY OBSESSED, AND CANNOT WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOU BLESS US WITH NEXT!
ID USUALLY DO THE WHOLE ANNON THING BUT FUCK THAT, YOURE AMAZING AND IM BLOODY PROUD TO SAY IT.
BIRCH, YOU DESERVE THE ABSOLUTE WORLD🩷😤🥰
YOU ARE TOO KIND😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺❤❤❤
But thank you so much :( <3
I was so deep into the rot when I wrote all of that stuff LOL I mean I still am but I was like vomiting words up like no one's damn business. I have so many fics in the WIPs right now that I'm HOPING AND PRAYING I can work on soon <3
MORE COURT. MORE RYLAND. MY HUSBANDS <3
BUT THANK YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH FOR THE VERY SWEET AND VERY KIND MESSAGE <3
I love the gray scale so much I need more!! Can’t wait for more updates on it and I just loveeeee reading all the angst. I also can’t wait to find out why Claire doesn’t like reader and read them finally making up haha
ANON I NEED MORE GRAY SCALE TOO
I have one fic that's like HALF done that I'd really like to finish, and then I've got all sorts of ideas that are just sitting in the drafts for them. I want to get to Claire and the reader having beef SO BAD🥰
Do you still plan on updating the gray scale?? It’s so gooddd
I’m waiting for Claire and reader to make nice 😭
Oh my gosh 🥺
Anon you have no idea how badly I've been wanting to write for The Gray Scale. I have so many fic ideas in my drafts for them. SO MANY. I am HOPING (fingers crossed) that once my classes end here in another week or two I will have a lot more time for writing! Gray Scale included because I have half a fic written for them and it's so juicy and painful and good and YEAH.
Thank you for asking, though!! It's messages like these that get me excited to write again, so I appreciate you 🥰🥰🥰
Summary: Court has returned to what used to be his favorite city. It's been his least favorite for over a year, but he's out to set things right.
Word Count: 2.7K
Warnings: angst, swearing, hurt/comfort, kissing in the rain?
A/N: I've been saving this one for a rainy day. Sorry, not sorry. - Birch<3
Inspo: San Francisco by Niall Horan
The sky is threatening with ragged, dark gray clouds. Loud booms of thunder fill the air, which seems to wiggle and zing with electricity sizzling in the quiet evening.
It's going to pour.
That's unusual for San Francisco. Yeah, it has its short rainy period every spring into summer, but this was a big storm. You'd shut every window in the small house, making sure your cat's patio was closed, and that the small feline was inside.
The motions of heating up leftovers for dinner, eating alone at the counter, and scrolling through your phone all slips by. It's just Sunday night. Nothing crazy going on. No friends taking you out to the bar or boyfriends trying to steal you for a night out of town.
Just as you finish your dinner, you hear it. The soft pitter-patter of rain. It starts off gently, tapping the leaves of your hanging baskets and flowers in a pleasant rhythm. But then a loud boom rings out, and the windows rattle from a strong gust of wind.
You can't help but blink at it as you settle onto your couch, flicking your TV on. It wouldn't be surprising if you lost power here in a bit. You tried to brush the thought off, and continue watching your show. But you're interrupted when there's a knock at the door.
It's one that makes the comfortable, cozy feeling you had disappear in a second flat. Your blood runs cold as ice as the patterning of the fingers rapping on your door slinks through your mind. You hate that you know the pattern. You hate the way your stomach churns at your dinner, now rolling and unsettled.
Then it comes again a few seconds later.
Three short taps in quick succession, a momentary pause, then two slower taps, and then three more taps in a swing beat. There is only one other person on the planet who knows that knocking pattern.
Court.
A lump sits heavy in the back of your throat as your heart beats faster and your breathing grows quiet and shallow. You sit up from the couch, your fingers starting to tremble as another gust of wind blows through. The house groans with effort but you pay it no attention.
You don't know why you are going to the door.
Flashes of nights crying hit the front of your mind. Tears soaking your pillowcase. Your throat raw and hoarse from sobbing. The tightness in your chest when his words replayed through your mind.
I can't do whatever this is anymore.
You were only ever a good fuck and a soft landing.
Don't you get it? I could never love you.
The harshness of them makes you pause, the angry spatter of rain on your metal roofing only growing louder. It deafens your thoughts for a moment, leaving you with the memories of heartbroken feelings.
Then you hear a muffled voice. One you haven't heard in a long time.
"Y/n, I know you're in there," the gruff male voice rings out over the sound of the rain. There's a slight pause, and then he calls out, "Your car is in the driveway."
The last of his words gets slightly drowned out by the rain, and your feet force you forward to hear more of it. Your brain is screaming to stop and run. But there's a part of you, no bigger than the pinhead of a needle, that pushes you forward. Right now, you resent that part of you.
Your steps grow wobbly as your knees both threaten to give in and lock up. You come to a halt by your front door, your hand hovering in the air over the handle. Why is he here? What does he want? Why now, after all this time?
That pinhead-sized part of you makes your fingers come to a rest on the door handle and catch on the release. You timidly pull the door open and the fresh scent of petrichor floods your nose as the raw sound of rainfall hits your ears.
You don't know where to look when the door swings open to reveal the man you hadn't seen in over a year. Your gaze settles on the tan concrete of your front porch, small puddles of water pooling on the other side of your thatched doormat.
Then you see boots. Dark brown leather shiny with water and smudged with dirt. Maybe that one line that runs a little redder than others isn't just dirt. Then as your eyes drift up, you see black tactical pants stacked neatly around sturdy calves.
Slowly, your gaze trails upwards to a set of thighs that once made your stomach flip and your body tremble. There's no telling how many times you sat on his lap, singing his name. As far as you can see, the pockets and holster attachments lining the thick muscles are empty.
The material around his hips is held up by an indistinct black belt cinched tight around his trim waist. As always. For once, there's no gun on his hip. There's not even a blade sticking out of his tactical pants that you can see. As far as you can tell, he's unarmed.
Your eyes continue upwards.
Well, maybe not completely unarmed. Court's wearing a black t-shirt, showing off his thick biceps and forearms laced with hard-earned muscle. The jagged scars and dark tattoos on his arms are familiar, and they make your throat dry up and your eyes continue on their path towards his face.
And when they eventually get there?
You swear your heart stops beating.
The whole world seems to freeze in place. Even the rain drops crashing against your roof deafen. For a moment, it's just you and it's just him and the rest of the world is on pause.
He still has that goatee you always loved. Kept clean and neat. His angled jaw is set and the muscle there flexes once. Your eyes search for bruising on his cheekbones or the telltale signs of a black eye.
There are none.
Instead, you find a stormy gaze reminiscent of the sky overheard tracking yours, damp blonde locks hanging over his forehead and plastered to his skin. It's clear now that he walked here. In the rain. To see you.
Court doesn't say anything as you regard him. He had had a plan of what to say to you. But now that he sees you in front of him? Every word in every language he knows dissipates from his mind.
You're gorgeous.
Well, he knows that. That's never been a doubt in his mind. But seeing you now? Over a year later? Simultaneously everything and nothing has changed. Your hair is a little longer than the last time he saw you, but it's still that pretty shade of (color). Your eyes still shine in that mesmerizing way that reminds him of looking at nature's beauty. You're stunning.
And yet he walked away from you then. And he has never forgiven himself since.
"What are you doing here?" you breathe out, your fingers tightening on the door handle. Your voice is not nearly as strong or sharp as you would like. But it's full of hurt. Your brows furrow and you shuffle on your feet. "Why are you here?" The sound of rain nearly drowns out your voice.
Court parts his lips and then takes a deep breath. He blows it out slowly and clenches his hands into fists at his sides. He hasn't heard your voice... in so long. He nearly forgot just how it can make him unravel and come undone. "I came here to apologize to you," he confesses quietly in the rough, rich voice you loved. Admit it, you tell yourself, Seeing him. It's not all in the past, is it?
You don't need to answer yourself. The tears that begin pricking at your eyes speak a thousand words.
"That's too little, too late," you almost hiss out as you move to close the door on him. Before you can, though, Court shoves his boot between the door and the frame. "Y/n, wait, please," he urges, his voice a little louder this time. It's easier to hear over the rain pounding against the roof of your front porch.
Fire dances in your eyes as you tug the door back open and harshly jam your finger into his chest. "Wait?" you snarl. "Did you, Court Gentry, just tell me to wait?" You step towards him and snap, "I waited for you for over a year! Remember that? How you left me, crying my eyes out because I was nothing more than a 'good fuck'?!"
You use both hands to shove Court away from your front door. He only moves a step back. You are both fully aware he let you do that. He's taken shoves worse than that and never moved an inch.
Those tears stinging at your eyes now sit on your lash line, waiting to be released. Court's face is solemn and his eyes down cast. It's the closest to remorseful you've ever seen on him.
"Do you remember?" you prompt him, your voice full of venom and hurt. He doesn't reply. "Do you remember?!" you shout this time, punching at the doorframe. Court's eyes remain down turned as he murmurs, "I do. That's why I'm here. To apologize and explain."
"You lost that right a long time ago," you chuckle humorlessly and roll your eyes. "Have a good fucking night, Court." You move to close the door again. He doesn't even try to shove his boot in it again.
But just before the door can swing shut, he rushes, "They knew about you."
You pause, despite the steam practically shooting from your ears and the tears now rolling down your cheeks. You pause. And you listen to the man who shattered your heart.
Court's eyes watch the parted door and he takes a breath and shuffles, clenching and unclenching his knuckles. Taking out high profile targets is easier than this. How he wishes he could fix this with a couple of punches and a bullet in someone's brain.
"They knew about you," he repeats, his voice softer. "Sidorenko. The guy I was taking contracts from. He learned about you through an informant."
Your stomach rolls. You very well know what Court does for work. He spared you the gory details, but you knew enough to be considered viable intel. And, you were close with the Gray Man. Neither you nor Court ever put an official label on it, but the two of you shared I love you's. That's not just a hookup. That's not just a good fuck.
You were truly, madly, and deeply in love with him.
You still are.
Court waits for you to say something. Anything. You don't. So he continues because now that he's started talking, he doesn't want to stop. He wants you to hear him out. He wants you to listen to him. He wants you to believe him. He's fully aware he doesn't deserve that. He's lucky you opened the door. And he doesn't believe in luck.
"They were planning on using you as leverage," he whispers, his voice growing thicker. It's hard to hear the words with the crash of thunder overhead. Still, you don't move from where you stand inside. Silent sobs wrack your body and you have to lift your free hand to cover your mouth to stifle the sounds.
If there's one thing Court did while the two of you were together - he kept you safe. That was his priority. Everything else was a bonus. So to hear that you would have potentially compromised him... It changes everything.
"So," he continues, stepping once closer to the door, "I did what I thought was best at the time. I pulled back. I thought leaving you here, without me would keep you safe. If they saw I wasn't with you, then they would think you didn't mean anything to me."
Court pauses and flattens his hand against the door. "When you really have meant everything."
Silence laced with raindrops rings out. It's loud. Thick. Uncomfortable. Court holds his breath, waiting for you to say something. Anything.
You do not reply.
Court swallows hard and his eyes snap closed in frustration with himself. He knew it was a long shot. But he's normally pretty capable of those. This one, however. He's not sure he ever really stood a chance.
Wordlessly, he draws back from the door and his hand swings down to his side, clenching into a fist. Then, he steps away from the door and turns on his heel. You can hear the sound of his boots dejectedly padding down your front porch before the footsteps are washed away.
You could not reply to Court. Not when you were choking back sobs with tears flowing like a river down your cheeks and dripping onto the floor. Only when he's gone and you know it do you do something.
You rip the door open.
A quick glance around the front porch through blurry vision tells you he didn't bother sticking around. Further down the winding lane to your driveway and making his way towards the main road, you spot his figure. A dark dot in the midst of the thunderstorm.
You step out onto your porch in just your bare feet and shut the door behind you. Then, with your arms wrapped around your body, you duck your head, and you run.
Your legs carry you as fast at they cane, slapping down against the wet pavement. Raindrops catch on your hair and sweater immediately, dampening your frame in a few measly seconds. You can't find your voice to call for him. To shout. To make him turn around and keep talking.
Instead, you chase after Court's retreating figure. But you gain on him. He's walking pretty briskly - which you can't blame him for - but he's not running. That would be hard to keep up with.
At first, Court thinks it's just the raining growing harder. He's been lost in his head for the few moments it's been walking away from your house. He's not operational, but maybe he should be acting like it. Someone could be tracking his ass right now and he wouldn't know any better.
He allows himself this moment to grieve, though. He had hope. It was small and fleeting, but its presence was there. The best thing he can do is acknowledge it, give it the sliver of time it deserves, and then get his ass back in gear.
That's why he thinks it's just the storm brewing and thunder rolling more prominently. But then his mind locks onto the rhythm of it and realizes it's not even. And for whatever reason, he looks over his shoulder, blinking through the pouring rain.
You unwrap your arms from around yourself and crash into his chest at full force. He doesn't stumble this time. Your hands, trembling and cold, find Court's face to cradle as you reach up onto your toes. Without giving him a chance, you pull his head down to yours until your mouth crashes against his.
It all happens so fast, but Court's used to conditions like this.
His arms slither around your waist in a second. One around the base of your spine to hold you flush against him, the other finding the back of your head to slide his fingers through the damp locks. His fingers tighten and he uses his grip on your to tilt your head as he kisses you back with everything he's got.
Court's beard tickles your face as your lips slot passionately against his. This kiss is messy. Sloppy. Unpracticed. At the same time, it's warm. It's rich. It's everything you've missed about him. If you try hard enough, you can taste remnants of that Watermelon Wave gum he loves so much, combined with the sweetness that is Court.
The rain pours down on the two of you without relenting. It's close, biting at your skin, sliding down your face. Yet Court is warm and solid underneath your touch, anchoring you here in the moment with him. He tils his head to deepen the kiss, and it draws one of his favorite noises from you - a soft moan that says more than words.
Summary: The NSFW Alphabet for everyone's favorite blonde-haired scientist.
Word Count: 1.5K
Warnings: NSFW, SMUT (18+ ONLY PLEASE)
A/N: Please only interact if you are 18+! Blank/empty blogs and blogs with no ages will be blocked! I got random inspo for this but uhhh enjoy! - Birch<3
Please proceed with caution!!! NSFW BELOW THE CUT!!!
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Ryland is so sweet in his aftercare. He'll check in with you first. He's making sure you're only feeling pleasure and no pain. He'll check he hasn't gone too far. But he'll stay buried inside you if that's what you want, or he'll go get a towel and clean the two of you up as gently as he can.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Ryland loves your collarbones and neck. He loves planting kisses there, leaving his mark behind. Something about feeling your pulse under his lips and knowing you are real and there. He likes his arms. He thinks they're nice and toned, and he feels strong. Plus, he's no fool. He sees how you look at them.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Ryland feels so filthy cumming in you for the first time. Especially if you're trapped on the Hail Mary with no contraceptives. But he can't deny... he loves the way your walls suck his cock in. I feel like he's the type to get shy about leaking precum, and he does because he's so touch-starved. But man... it's hot.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Back on Earth, Ryland dreamed about bending you over the lab bench and taking you from behind. That craze of not being able to figure out a problem and needing a way to blow off steam. Who better than his pretty little scientist girlfriend to help destress him?
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Ryland has MINIMAL experience. I very well could see you each being each others firsts. But that's special because for him, it's just you. There is no one else. It's you or nothing. But... he is a man. So he's probably watched porn. Jerked off during college. Yeah.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Missionary. Come on. He's a lover boy. He likes seeing you spread below him, hands grasping at his hair and shoulders. He likes the way you claw at his back and he can drive his hips down, forcing you into the mattress.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He's definitely more serious just because he doesn't really fuck, he really only makes love unless he's really stressed. But that doesn't mean he won't giggle and chuckle and have fun with you. Especially with how clumsy it is. He just worries he's so uncoordinated he'll mess something up and it'll take away from the sexy atmosphere.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
He's pretty well groomed. He keeps things tidy and neat. A dark blonde pile of pubic hair that's not too long or crazy.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
This is the man for romance of ALL time. He is SO SWEET. Worshiping the ground you walk on. He is lighting candles, playing a sexy playlist, rose petals on the bed. On the Hail Mary... well. There's only so much he can do to set the mood, but he gives praise and words of great encouragement.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
I feel like he's shy about jacking off but he does. When he's crushing on you, he gets really shy about it. But he can't help but picture your cunt around his cock or your tongue swirling over his leaking tip. Once the two of you start dating? He doesn't really feel the need. You're more than willing to help him if he's in the mood.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Come on. This man will enjoy being called Captain by the end of this. Especially if you're riding him in the pilot's seat? OH YEAH. I think he might be a little averse to period sex initially but once he finds out how much you like it, he's all into making you feel good. Size kink, praise kink, hello!
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
The bed. This is a no brainer. The bed is the most logical place and the safest, lol. On Erid... perhaps he enjoys taking you on the beach ;)
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
He's an intellectual man. He loves it when you're figuring something out and you get that deep in thought look on your face. Hearing you science something out... oh man. He's pitching a tent right then and there.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
He would not be into BDSM. This man is sweet and vanilla. He will get rough if you ask, but he isn't super kinky.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He's a man so he loves his cock getting sucked. But, he adores being able to go down on you. The way you taste, the way you tug on his hair. Even the way you clamp your thighs around his head when he sucks on your clit. That's the good shit. He LOVES that.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
This man is usually slow and sensual. He likes to take his time with you. He's into foreplay and lots and lots and lots of kissing. It's hard to find his restraint when he's balls deep inside you, but he'll find it so he can treat you right.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He's not huge into quickies, but when that stress-horny hits... well. It doesn't take much for him to fall apart. For you? If you asked? He's eating from the palm of your hand. He'll do whatever you want.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Experiment? A scientist? Oh, he's trying everything that you want to try. Even if he's unsure. He'll be honest about whether he likes it or not, but he's always down to try. If it doesn't work, well. The scientific method is a thing for a reason.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
I definitely think he's a one bullet kind of man. If he's really worked up, perhaps two. But he's sensitive and is so focused on you, he doesn't mind if he's got to wait for his one big release.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
No. He is not a toy kind of guy. It's an inferiority thing. Is he not good enough as is to bring you pleasure? If you asked him to you one on you, it would take quite a bit of convincing.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He's not big on teasing or being unfair. He'll edge you, sure. But he definitely makes sure you're more than okay with everything he's doing. The last thing he wants to do is ruin your pleasure. But in foreplay? Sure. He'll squeeze your ass, suck on your nipples, lap at them with his tongue.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He's a whimperer. I also call him Groaning Grace. This man groans. And then he whimpers. He pants and gasps. He is not quiet. But you make him feel so good, so why would he hold back?
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
I think if he's trapped on the Hail Mary with you... it would not be unlikely that Rocky would want to watch. It would take some courage building on both ends... but maybe it could be hot to be a little voyeur some time...
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
He's long and thin. Curved off to the left. His tip flushes so pink and leaks precum the second he grows hard. Not super veiny, but he finds all the right spots within you and that's what matters.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
With how touch starved he is, he doesn't realize just how needy he is. The first time he gets with you, it's like his brain lights up. Then... he's wanting you several times a week. Perhaps even several times a day once that dopamine rush clicks in. You and him might just go at it like rabbits for the first couple weeks until that need has settled. Then, he calms down into a once or twice a week kind of a guy. But he's always down to please you if that's what you want.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
It depends on the day. I think after his first couple times with you, he just lays there in disbelief that you're real and that that happened. He'll stay up for a while thinking, replaying, questioning how he could have something as amazing as you. Once the two of you settle into your relationship, he'll be much faster to snuggle in and go to bed. He likes to make sure you fall asleep first, but then he's quick to follow.
