KING OF THOSE WHO KNOW

[lotuyo-bb]

Dysphoric

Starlit, my lungs are flayed wide by the autumn air.

Plastics and metals all in various colours,

None of which quite strike my eye the way I'd like them to,

Surround me in the fluid that is night.

I sit overflowing; my cup runneth over;

Anything you want me to be:

I wonder why so much can enter but nothing can leave.

The swingset creaks beneath me.

An image of myself flickers under this body:

A cinema picture projected o'er pine trees,

Difficult to decipher from under the bedsheets.

Though my gaze lies outward, I see nothing outside of my skin.

I tap at what bends so seemingly natural to my form,

Hoping maybe something soft or gentle would convince it

To allow me to wander this small mortal plane as myself.

But it doesn't- and Iʼm left here to grieve me like the planets and stars do

They glisten like the teardrops that fall down my face.

If some weapon could free me from this shell,

Then you believe me, I'd have tried it,

You believe me, I'd be gone.

[lotuyo-bb]

a dampened haunt of mushrooms follows, living on my footprint hollows. they know of my hiding wishes, and snicker at me: 

a lurking, skirting, winding, swaying, haughty cat; wish for food but do not ask, do not approach, and keep them wondering: why the fuck is he here if he’s so happy on his own?

a smoky room, my genetics laid out in fish bones on the ceiling, i wished i would never be dragged away again, but they stole her and they left me.

[lotuyo-bb]

two kids on one street corner two kids on another street corner today, three am, marks the end don’t hold the smoke too tightly about your lips don’t let your head feel like crying don’t remember those times he talked about you as though you were someone else don’t remember the times they talked about him behind his back or in front of his face two kids on one street corner two kids on another street corner today, eight am, i found out i won’t hold the smoke too tightly about my lips but my head already feels like crying and i remember as i write those times he talked of me to my face and those times they talked of him while he was in the room two kids on one street corner two kids on another street corner maybe i’ll remember them instead maybe today will be the day of two kids on one street corner and two kids on another street corner and not the day we lost him

[lotuyo-bb]

if i don't speak like this i won't become a true master of the double negative

[lotuyo-bb]

“beh” -bullet

[lotuyo-bb]

i spilled tea on it but i could not stop working on it anyway this is for jovi @hopeyougetwellsoon

[lotuyo-bb]

my gf’s mom says i look like a little buddha at least i have that going for me

[lotuyo-bb]

i don't want to sleep- i wanna dance.

@currybro

[lotuyo-bb]

i was looking for something green 

but i forgot it for all the

other green 

that was there

[lotuyo-bb]

G R A S S   A S S A S S I N

[lotuyo-bb]

what a season autumn is 

the leaves don’t fall here so i bought some 69 cent paper with HI RES LEAF ACTION

i used it to make a small tribute to my girlfriend: @queercriminal

[lotuyo-bb]

i stepped on someone who was crying as my parents fought and as the years went on and on it all began to rot

[lotuyo-bb]

honestly straight-edge people may rock the clean liver but who’s really about that life

[lotuyo-bb]

old ink.

[lotuyo-bb]

hot caramel on ice, you melt my mouth. 

[lotuyo-bb]

Once-Abodes 1-5

Three dark rooms, bunk beds, Stairs led down to where we lived: This basement was home.

Glow-stars, no windows; The bed fills my entire room. Living room mirrors.

Jumping on the beds. Snow flutters down: rice paper; A house with blue paint.

Often locked outside, I take long walks through the green, My father not here.

This is where they split. Oh, my god, his face, the tears, Everything is fear.

[lotuyo-bb]

old ink.